Close to goal weight and getting nervous

walkdmc

I think I'm sabotaging my efforts to reach my goal weight. I've never been at my goal weight, been overweight as long as I can remember. I have Binge Eating Disorder, for which I've been in counseling for 2 years. I just realized that over the past 4 months, I've sabotaged myself every time my weight dips into the 150's. My goal weight for now is 145. I'm currently around my lowest weight as an adult.

I plan on talking more extensively about this issue with my therapist but if you can relate, why do you sabotage yourself so close to goal? I actually feel myself getting anxious about things I've been doing for the past 2.5 years while I lost these 100 pounds. For example, all of the sudden I'll worry about being hungry. I've been hungry off and on for 2.5 years. Why is it stressful now? And of course, in response to the hunger and anxiety, I overeat.

Thanks!

WillLift4Tats

I know this anxiety. I have never dipped below 138 consistently (ugw 130), also due to self-sabotage and BED issues. I can't speak to why it stresses you, but for me I think it has something to do with "being good enough" once I'm at goal. It's hard to explain in written words, but I guess its a self worth issue. I really don't know, I'm still struggling to come to terms with it myself.

Congratulations and great work on your 100 lb loss! You have great dedication and I'm glad you have a therapist who is helping you with these issues. Best of luck!

breeshabebe

I'm definitely not close to goal... but I've been looking forward to getting below 200 for a few years now.. Normally around 210, I just say what the heck and end up gaining 15lbs back then working my butt off to get down again. I was thinking this morning, why didn't I just suck it up and get that 16lbs off? I've lost 15lbs this year... that could have been the 15lbs I had left to lose rather than the 15lbs I gained last year. Its crazy.

ParkerH47

congrats on your weight loss!

my suggestion would be to slow down your weight loss... or maybe even maintain your current weight for a bit (using MFP still) until the anxiety fades?

It seems you are at a pretty healthy weight, you may want to deal with these issues before continuing your weight loss. also try to remember that you are likely eating the same amount of calories so it shouldn't be any different than before

good luck and be nice to yourself!

walkdmc

Thanks for the responses.

I remember when getting to "Onederland" was my obstacle and struggled with that for years, so I can relate!

mulecanter

Interesting post. I'm no therapist but let me throw out a couple ideas. I am about 15-20 from goal and have some trepidation about maintenance too. My thought is to spend time reading the maintenance message board more as I get closer--why reinvent the wheel if you can learn from others, right? I'm wondering if self-sabotage is about fear of failure--if you don't get the brass ring you can't lose it right? I'm wondering if a "displacement" strategy wouldn't help (trying to remember college psych here), if you have some new goals ready to go when you hit your goal weight, maybe you won't feel that fear--it will just feel like another stage in the journey. I think fitness goals are a logical next step--enter a 10k race or set a weight lifting goal or whatever. Other active hobbies--I will climb Mt Kilimanjaro before I'm 60--something like that. Anyone able to attain a three-digit weight loss is able to do most anything. Evidently, its the transition between big goals that is tough.

flyingbeta

I'm not sure if this applies to you, but my secret fear is "What if I reach my goal and nothing really changes?" I don't know what I'm expecting, as being overweight has been a constant in my life (and I'm 52 now). I don't know what "size 10" feels like, and that's what I want.

I guess there's only one way to find out, which is to reach that goal. And if I hate it, I can always put the weight back on :happy: If I could give you any counsel at all, it's that--just get to goal and then look around. If you like the view, stay put. If it's not what you want, you can always do something different. Whichever direction you choose to take, I'm on your side.

breeshabebe

I'm not sure if this applies to you, but my secret fear is "What if I reach my goal and nothing really changes?" I don't know what I'm expecting, as being overweight has been a constant in my life (and I'm 52 now). I don't know what "size 10" feels like, and that's what I want.

I guess there's only one way to find out, which is to reach that goal. And if I hate it, I can always put the weight back on :happy: If I could give you any counsel at all, it's that--just get to goal and then look around. If you like the view, stay put. If it's not what you want, you can always do something different. Whichever direction you choose to take, I'm on your side.

I can relate with this! Being small has always been something to look forward to. I haven't been a size 8 since elementary school....so I've always thought about how great it would be when I was thin. I hope that it excedes my expectations!