OK-- Another one on the TOM thread

OK: arguing about whether TOM syndromes are excuses or not isn't adding much value. It just makes me angrier and crave fried food even more. But after >10 yrs of struggle, I've summarized some "home remedies" to cope with TOM mood swings, pains and cravings. No scientific proof, just simple tricks that work on my mom and me. And yep I've been struggling with this crap ever since my first period, so had my mom until she hit her menopause...

1. Reducing sodium as a habit def helps. And getting enough rest helps too. My doctor actually told me this. So this one might have some scientific evidence to back it up.

2. Drink warm water; put some heating pad/hot water pad on your belly or lower back. It really helps reduce the pain. I buy hot pads from near by Asian markets.

3. Painkillers. OK as a tip this looks cheap... But I swear I need this every month on my heaviest day just so that I don't have to ask for a sick day once a month

4. Reduce caffeine. So less coffee, less tea, etc. Somehow green tea is just deadly for me during this. So I just make sure I steer clear of green teas.

5. Acknowledge that your hormones are messing with you. So every time I crave weird, bad for you food that I don't even like normally, before eating it I'd take 5 sec to ask myself whether I really NEED it or it is just my period. I do the same (almost) every time I want to yell at people near me for no apparent reason, or cry for no good cause. In other words, try to get some distance from your cravings and weird emotions, and try to analyze/ think about if it is rational. It's not easy... But I find this really helpful.

6. Don't blame yourself. Trust me the "oh I just can't focus on work/exercise; oh I just ate another cookie. I ruined everything. I am so worthless and useless" mentality really DOESN'T work. If anything it makes things worse. We are all human. It's OK. Tomorrow it will be less painful and we will be OK.

7. Plan ahead. We will get this s**t once a month for a very, very long time. So the important thing is to acknowledge it, accept it, and cope with it. If you really feel like you have NO energy and you really need to eat more (or you'd feel like you want to stab someone), then do that, but balance it out throughout the rest of the month.

Bottom line, it's your own body. And it's a trial and error process. If you don't have super heavy periods that make you just want to kill yourself-- congratulations. But if you do (like me), I would encourage you to find out ways that make you feel better and cope with it better.
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Replies

  • Great advice. My period is killer for sure. I drink a lot of tea but a few of them are herbal without caffeine. I'll definitely try some of these tips and avoid the caffeinated tea during mine and see if it helps. :)
  • SephiraRose
    SephiraRose Posts: 766 Member
    I hear where your coming from. I've had absolutely horrible periods my whole life and even worse after having children. You do what ever may possibly help you get through those days. I've even had a uterine oblation but still have my wonderful monthly friend. Things aren't "as bad" but it sucks to go through the procedure and not have it all eliminated.
  • ottermotorcycle
    ottermotorcycle Posts: 654 Member
    These are actually the most helpful tips on this I've ever read. Thank you!
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Yep, the painkillers are a must for me, though I would also add... do not wait for the pain to start. Take them before it starts. That was a doctor's advice given to my mother. Once the pain starts for me, it will have me curled up for several hours, sometimes in tears...hellish if they strike at night when all you want to do is sleep.

    If the chocolate cravings hit, try some dark chocolate, at least 75%. I have 81%. If that doesn't hit it, just buy something small in terms of milk chocolate.

    If you are not a vegetarian, and bleed heavy, a good steak can be a benefit too :)
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    I don't think it is your place to comment.

    Maybe your menstrual cycles aren't painful, debilitating, and require certain care but hers may.

    Every woman's cycle is different. It doesn't mean something's wrong.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Yep, the painkillers are a must for me, though I would also add... do not wait for the pain to start. Take them before it starts. That was a doctor's advice given to my mother. Once the pain starts for me, it will have me curled up for several hours, sometimes in tears...hellish if they strike at night when all you want to do is sleep.

    If the chocolate cravings hit, try some dark chocolate, at least 75%. I have 81%. If that doesn't hit it, just buy something small in terms of milk chocolate.

    If you are not a vegetarian, and bleed heavy, a good steak can be a benefit too :)

    I agree with the painkillers and not waiting for the cramps to start! I also start taking them 2 days prior to my cycle starting.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    why is this in this forum?
  • xscat
    xscat Posts: 80 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    Thanks for the concerns!! I have gone to various doctors for this... My test results are normal; and I do have a family history of this... My mom struggled her entire life... And she used to be so off during her TOM that she'd have trouble holding her water glasses or confuse salt with sugar when cooking; and I remember she had to lay down after she cooked for me because she just didn't have enough energy to sit thru dinner (OMG it made me feel so guilty)...
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    Just because you have no issues with your periods, does not mean others do not, and nor does it mean that others are somehow having abnormal periods. It simply means some women suffer more than others with their periods and it is really not for you to suggest someone is concentrating on it too much. What a ridiculous thing to say. Seriously, you can hardly not concentrate on it if you are experiencing stomach cramps that have been compared to birth contractions and which make you feel like throwing up.
  • Can someone fill me in on TOM syndrome?
  • NataBost
    NataBost Posts: 418 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    I don't think it is your place to comment.

    Maybe your menstrual cycles aren't painful, debilitating, and require certain care but hers may.

    Every woman's cycle is different. It doesn't mean something's wrong.

    Thank you for this. And thanks,OP.
  • loconnor466
    loconnor466 Posts: 215 Member
    Thanks for the tips. I was one of the lucky ones my whole life, light, no cramps, perfect timing, until around 40. Now it is very heavy and painful for a couple of days. Yes I went to the doctors and they did their tests, nothing really wrong, just probably heading towards peripause.
    I really can't stand people coming onto threads and bashing people, and especially your fellow woman for having a different body than yours, whether its TOM or sugar addictions or whatever, it's disheartening to see the meanness.

    OK, now for my tip, regarding heating pads, I use rice. Buy a big bulk bag of white rice, I put a bunch in a soft pillowcase, with some lavender and I heat in the microwave for 3-4 minutes. Take it to bed, and put it on my stomach, its heaven. There is something about the weight of it too! And the extra rice is handy to have when one of your kids drops their cellphone in water!
  • NumbrsNerd
    NumbrsNerd Posts: 202 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    I don't think it is your place to comment.

    Maybe your menstrual cycles aren't painful, debilitating, and require certain care but hers may.

    Every woman's cycle is different. It doesn't mean something's wrong.

    ^This!
  • Sztheday
    Sztheday Posts: 31 Member
    This wasn't always a hard time for me. However, once I hit my 40's it has become very difficult to manage. I want to argue with anyone, eat everything in sight, and I can easily cry about something that happened 2 years ago.

    Thanks for the tips! One additional thing I've noticed is that if I consume extra calcium during the week before, it really helps to decrease negative symptoms.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Can someone fill me in on TOM syndrome?

    Can you please explain what you mean by "TOM syndrome?" There's no such thing… Do you mean PMS?
  • I have fibromyalgia and let me tell you periods are hell but you know something that has helped at least make my periods come on time and get over with is parsley tea. It's worth looking up. It's helped me a lot.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    I crave all of the good junk when Tom comes to see me..... I even gain 5 pounds.
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    I don't think it is your place to comment.

    Maybe your menstrual cycles aren't painful, debilitating, and require certain care but hers may.

    Every woman's cycle is different. It doesn't mean something's wrong.

    I'm sorry, it was not my intent to offend anyone. I see a lot of these threads on what is a 'fitness' site and usually ignore them. On this occasion I felt I would offer the view that maybe medical advice is needed. Something that is natural should not cause someone so much pain and stress that they need to worry all month about coping strategies for said, natural occurrence. If I had to go to these lengths I would want to know if something was wrong.

    You know nothing about my cycle as I have not mentioned it and have no plans to. Consider me suitably chastised, I will bow out of this thread and go back to ignoring them from now on.

    OP: apologies if you were offended (not my intent).
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Maybe you are making it worse than it is by concentrating on it too much? '10 years of struggle' really!?!

    My apologies if it really is that bad. Maybe go to the doctors because that doesn't sound normal and you have a few more years of it to go. The fact that you have various pointers/diet tips/strategies to cope with something that I don't think about suggests something's not right.

    Maybe your menstrual cycles aren't painful, debilitating, and require certain care but hers may.

    Every woman's cycle is different. It doesn't mean something's wrong.

    I agree. Mine have always been quite light and only mild cramps. Both my mom and my daughter (as well as my husband's sister) had/have such heavy, painful cramping that it can be debilitating. My daughter takes 800mg ibuprofen every 8 hours for several days (on the advice of the doctor) just to get through school and such. My mom once said that cramps were worse than childbirth. So yeah, while I just keep plugging along, and recognize it's why I want to eat everything in site but don't have to, that's not the case for everyone.

    why is this in this forum?

    Perhaps because it's got advice for keeping on your weight loss plan during TOM, or not letting that one week throw everything off?




    OP - It's awesome for you to post this advice. I'm going to see if any of it might help my daughter (she already does the heating pad and ibuprofen)