my first time to "eat my feelings"...

LightenUp_Caro

This weekend was just bad. I won't exactly go into what happened, but it was awful.
It had to do with seeing an ex of mine, who used to be a great and I saw him after three years and he is now a cocaine/ex addict. I fear he's going to wind up dead.
There is a gate keeper at my apartment who hits on me, I usually just brush it off but recently its been annoying. Last night he reached into my car and touched me and I just realized how much he's been overstepping the boundaries of his job. I now feel trapped in my apartment because I can't come back to it once i leave because he is there to harass me.

Anyway, I had to order a pizza to eat. I let my emotions take over me and before I realized it, I had eaten the whole pizzza. I was completely full after the first slice. I"ve never been an emotional eater. I don't know what triggered me but now I'm worried that I might begin a habit.

I'm feeling absolutely terrible about myself because of it. Did I mention that I also ate dark chocolate covered walnuts? ...like 8 servings of them. I want to go to the gym right now, but I can't because my gate keeper will harass me again. Its scary and I'm tired of feeling confined to my apartment.

thanks for letting me vent. hopefully i'm not too bad off and I won't let these things worry me to the point where I destruct myself and my diet.

you are all doing so well, and your success is keeping me going. thank you.

LightenUp_Caro

This weekend was just bad. I won't exactly go into what happened, but it was awful.
It had to do with seeing an ex of mine, who used to be a great and I saw him after three years and he is now a cocaine/ex addict. I fear he's going to wind up dead.
There is a gate keeper at my apartment who hits on me, I usually just brush it off but recently its been annoying. Last night he reached into my car and touched me and I just realized how much he's been overstepping the boundaries of his job. I now feel trapped in my apartment because I can't come back to it once i leave because he is there to harass me.

Anyway, I had to order a pizza to eat. I let my emotions take over me and before I realized it, I had eaten the whole pizzza. I was completely full after the first slice. I"ve never been an emotional eater. I don't know what triggered me but now I'm worried that I might begin a habit.

I'm feeling absolutely terrible about myself because of it. Did I mention that I also ate dark chocolate covered walnuts? ...like 8 servings of them. I want to go to the gym right now, but I can't because my gate keeper will harass me again. Its scary and I'm tired of feeling confined to my apartment.

thanks for letting me vent. hopefully i'm not too bad off and I won't let these things worry me to the point where I destruct myself and my diet.

you are all doing so well, and your success is keeping me going. thank you.

mkeithley

I don't know if it will help, but it helps me at the gym. I put my ipod headphones in my ears before I walk in, there is an annoying man that hits on me all of the time, now it's just creepy. I don;t have my music on, but he doesn't know that
I just pretend i can't hear anything and just nod if I see him and point at my headphones, sometimes I'll say "i can't hear you" for added effect and just keep on going. You might want to get yourself some mace, just in case and write an anonymous letter to the apt. manager just to apprise him of the situation with the gatekeeper. No names have to be mentioned, just simply tell him the gatekeeper is exhibiting behavior that is inappropriate, unprofessional and ackward and uncomfortable with female tenents.
Hang in there, we all have our days we wouldn't be human if we didn't chea once in awhile. Tomorrow is a new day and you get to start over with a clean slate.

littlespoon

Oh you poor thing!!

Firstly...you have to let the ex-boyfriend thing go. It is NOT your problem, and you cannot let yourself get involved with HIS problem. I'm sorry if thats seems harsh, and I am not saying its easy, but you are not going to do yourself any favours trying to help or worrying about it, trust me.

Secondly....maybe your boyfriend could help you find out who to talk to about the gatekeeper guy. Is there an overall landlord? Even ask some advice from the police? If you team up together to try and find a solution then you wont feel so trapped. You do not have to put up with this.

Thirdly....one overeat doesnt mean anything. You are going to have a much harder time developing a habit if you are aware of what you are doing. Dont worry about it, you are smarter than that.

:flowerforyou:

Helawat

That's so true. I turn on my ipod when I'm on the bus and "ignore" the men that push the boundaries.

When it didn't look like I was busy, men were touching me and talking to me, grabbing my hand etc. Now with my ipod in hand and headphone on when they try to get my attention, I just ignore them.

Men are such douche bags sometimes

mkeithley

Men are such douche bags sometimes

Amen sista!!!:laugh:

foxfire9372

Is the gate keeper hired by management or a private security company? Regardless, file a complaint. Your home is your safe place and this person is violating it.

natashav

tell them both to LEAVE YOU ALONE.

LightenUp_Caro

thanks y'all.
I'm not really the type of person to say anything but this has gotten to that point. My boyfriend is concerned, he doesn't go to the same school as I do so he isn't here.

This guy does this to my roommate as well as the girls who live a couple of doors down, so I'm sure we aren't the only ones who are scared of this gate creeper. We've all decided to complain.

As for my ex, I know I should let him go, but I can't help but worry about him. He voiced to me how afraid he was, and that really hit me. I realize that I can't save him, but I'd like to do what I can to help.

Anyway, yes men are *kitten*...did I mention that this guy at my gate is engaged? gross.

mkeithley

You can't save the ex, you can't help him, you can't do a thing except let the chips fall where they may, he will drag you down with him into a dark depressing chaotic world, I know I lived with it for 4 years until I had no choice but to sever all ties. The more you try ro help the more they will take advantage. An addict is an addict, they all ALL the same.

As far as the pervert at your apt. it's a good idea to bring it to someone's attention, there is strength in numbers. Most men who cross the line like that are involved with someone, no surprise he's engaged, it's an ego/control thing-ARSEHOLE!!!