I'd love your opinion... (not fitness related)
I'm in an awkward professional situation and my close friends have given me their advice, but I would love a few more opinions.
So, I own a small business. This past week, I met with a fellow business owner about potentially carrying my product (a wholesale dessert item) in his restaurant. My team made him a sample based on his requested needs. I went to meet him at his restaurant where he tasted the sample, and he agreed to carry the product.
Well, things started going downhill from there. Quick breakdown of the rest of our meeting: He asked me to style the product on a plate... and photograph it... with my camera... and send it to him to use for promotion... OK. That's totally his job, but I wanted to make the sale, and I figured, hey, as a favor, one small business owner to another, you know, fine. I'll take a picture and send it to you later.
So this morning, I emailed him the pictures I took of what will be HIS product. And he replies with "It's almost as beautiful as you!" Then while I was still like, :noway: , before I could reply, he had sent me 5 more messages. These gems included: calling me a pet name, "Butter", asking me to change the product and bring more samples, and this --> "Do you like that song "Lady in Red" and "Blue Bayou" they are old school, soft rock, love jams. When your creating my [potential product] I would like you to listen to those two jams. The end results will be exactly what i'm looking for." On top of the creep comments, he basically asked me to style, photograh, and edit promotional material. I'm a pastry chef, not a photographer or editor. I sell a product, deliver it, and then it's his and he can do what he likes with it.
Now I'm thinking that I'm not sure if this is going to be worth it. He's giving me the creeps. On the other hand, my business needs the income of potentially $200-400 per week.
So what would you do? My first instinct is to tell him how unprofessional his behavior is and decline doing business with him. But I am wrestling with losing the sale... should I put up with his f-ckery?
So, I own a small business. This past week, I met with a fellow business owner about potentially carrying my product (a wholesale dessert item) in his restaurant. My team made him a sample based on his requested needs. I went to meet him at his restaurant where he tasted the sample, and he agreed to carry the product.
Well, things started going downhill from there. Quick breakdown of the rest of our meeting: He asked me to style the product on a plate... and photograph it... with my camera... and send it to him to use for promotion... OK. That's totally his job, but I wanted to make the sale, and I figured, hey, as a favor, one small business owner to another, you know, fine. I'll take a picture and send it to you later.
So this morning, I emailed him the pictures I took of what will be HIS product. And he replies with "It's almost as beautiful as you!" Then while I was still like, :noway: , before I could reply, he had sent me 5 more messages. These gems included: calling me a pet name, "Butter", asking me to change the product and bring more samples, and this --> "Do you like that song "Lady in Red" and "Blue Bayou" they are old school, soft rock, love jams. When your creating my [potential product] I would like you to listen to those two jams. The end results will be exactly what i'm looking for." On top of the creep comments, he basically asked me to style, photograh, and edit promotional material. I'm a pastry chef, not a photographer or editor. I sell a product, deliver it, and then it's his and he can do what he likes with it.
Now I'm thinking that I'm not sure if this is going to be worth it. He's giving me the creeps. On the other hand, my business needs the income of potentially $200-400 per week.
So what would you do? My first instinct is to tell him how unprofessional his behavior is and decline doing business with him. But I am wrestling with losing the sale... should I put up with his f-ckery?
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Replies
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I'd reply saying something like "I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions but I am (married, dating someone, gay, celibate, whatever takes you out of his potential dating pool) and am interested in a professional relationship only. That said, while I am a talented pastry chef I am not a professional photographer or editor. I'd suggest that in order to get the best quality photos you should either take them yourself or hire a professional. I look forward to working with you. Sincerely, Paygep"0
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I'd reply saying something like "I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions but I am (married, dating someone, gay, celibate, whatever takes you out of his potential dating pool) and am interested in a professional relationship only. That said, while I am a talented pastry chef I am not a professional photographer or editor. I'd suggest that in order to get the best quality photos you should either take them yourself or hire a professional. I look forward to working with you. Sincerely, Paygep"
^^^^^^ this exactly, it sounds like he thinks he can take advantage of your situation. Your a business woman, your strong and intelligent. Dont let him think he has the upper hand and stay professional. If he tries anything on kick him in the nuts and run then send him the bill for your product
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Here's my drafted reply:
Thank you for the opportunity to potentially carry our [product]. However, we have decided to decline doing business with you..
It is highly inappropriate for you to comment on my appearance. [We] conduct business in a strictly professional manner, and we expect the same respect from fellow business owners. You've offended me by calling me the humiliating nickname "Butter", and requesting me to listen to mood music while I work on your product. Now, I am no longer inclined to try to work with you.
As you are seeking a new vendor, I would suggest you keep in mind that when you buy a product wholesale, you are responsible for any and all marketing, advertising, and promotion of the product. A wholesale food vendor is not a photographer, photo editor, or food stylist.
Best of luck for you and your business.0 -
Here's my drafted reply:
Thank you for the opportunity to potentially carry our [product]. However, we have decided to decline doing business with you..
It is highly inappropriate for you to comment on my appearance. [We] conduct business in a strictly professional manner, and we expect the same respect from fellow business owners. You've offended me by calling me the humiliating nickname "Butter", and requesting me to listen to mood music while I work on your product. Now, I am no longer inclined to try to work with you.
As you are seeking a new vendor, I would suggest you keep in mind that when you buy a product wholesale, you are responsible for any and all marketing, advertising, and promotion of the product. A wholesale food vendor is not a photographer, photo editor, or food stylist.
Best of luck for you and your business.
I like it. Good job.0 -
Here's my drafted reply:
Thank you for the opportunity to potentially carry our [product]. However, we have decided to decline doing business with you..
It is highly inappropriate for you to comment on my appearance. [We] conduct business in a strictly professional manner, and we expect the same respect from fellow business owners. You've offended me by calling me the humiliating nickname "Butter", and requesting me to listen to mood music while I work on your product. Now, I am no longer inclined to try to work with you.
As you are seeking a new vendor, I would suggest you keep in mind that when you buy a product wholesale, you are responsible for any and all marketing, advertising, and promotion of the product. A wholesale food vendor is not a photographer, photo editor, or food stylist.
Best of luck for you and your business.
Yikes. I hope you have a large pool of buyers.
Business owners often know each other, or at least have one another's email. You may find this backfires in a really big way.
As a female business owner, I find that ignoring overtures is the best response. They figure it's worth a try. Being female means you deflect this stuff multiple times a day, right?
Flirting is harmless for the most part.
YMMV, as always.0 -
I think that this is a really good response!Here's my drafted reply:
Thank you for the opportunity to potentially carry our [product]. However, we have decided to decline doing business with you..
It is highly inappropriate for you to comment on my appearance. [We] conduct business in a strictly professional manner, and we expect the same respect from fellow business owners. You've offended me by calling me the humiliating nickname "Butter", and requesting me to listen to mood music while I work on your product. Now, I am no longer inclined to try to work with you.
As you are seeking a new vendor, I would suggest you keep in mind that when you buy a product wholesale, you are responsible for any and all marketing, advertising, and promotion of the product. A wholesale food vendor is not a photographer, photo editor, or food stylist.
Best of luck for you and your business.
Explaining to him why his behaviour is offensive (just the way you did) is much better than just deflecting it, if you ask me. While it is a lot easier to simply state that you're seeing someone (because just not being interested is so often met with backlash), I think he needed to be called on his inappropriate and unprofessional conduct. Setting his expectations as to what is reasonable to demand of a wholesale food vendor is just the cherry on the top. Kudos!0 -
Ok, so I REALLY wanted to send that draft reply! Instead I basically told him that our inspector says I'm not allowed to wholesale, and blamed it on paperwork, red tape, etc. In other words, I LIED LIKE HELL and blew him off.
I hope it came off as classy, diplomatic, bull-sh1ttin'
But thanks for letting me vent!0 -
Here's my drafted reply:
Thank you for the opportunity to potentially carry our [product]. However, we have decided to decline doing business with you..
It is highly inappropriate for you to comment on my appearance. [We] conduct business in a strictly professional manner, and we expect the same respect from fellow business owners. You've offended me by calling me the humiliating nickname "Butter", and requesting me to listen to mood music while I work on your product. Now, I am no longer inclined to try to work with you.
As you are seeking a new vendor, I would suggest you keep in mind that when you buy a product wholesale, you are responsible for any and all marketing, advertising, and promotion of the product. A wholesale food vendor is not a photographer, photo editor, or food stylist.
Best of luck for you and your business.
Yikes. I hope you have a large pool of buyers.
Business owners often know each other, or at least have one another's email. You may find this backfires in a really big way.
As a female business owner, I find that ignoring overtures is the best response. They figure it's worth a try. Being female means you deflect this stuff multiple times a day, right?
Flirting is harmless for the most part.
YMMV, as always.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ADVICE!!!0 -
I agree with cmriverside. While I would never want any man to talk too or treat my own daughter this way. He is the one who has an established business while you do not. I would not create a hostile enemy of a man who may indeed have many other contacts and put out a bad word about you and your product. Be tough and play his game by your own rules to win, you can outsmart him and make him think you did everything just the way he wanted. You seem smart, strong, confident, talented and creative. Good luck.0
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I agree with cmriverside. While I would never want any man to talk too or treat my own daughter this way. He is the one who has an established business while you do not. I would not create a hostile enemy of a man who may indeed have many other contacts and put out a bad word about you and your product. Be tough and play his game by your own rules to win, you can outsmart him and make him think you did everything just the way he wanted. You seem smart, strong, confident, talented and creative. Good luck.
Absolutely. My business is about to celebrate our first anniversary of being open on April 1st! It's like critical mass over here! I cannot afford any drama attached to my reputation. I do feel good about my decision to pass on the deal, as well. Wasn't the right fit, lol0 -
Just tell him you're gay. You get him off your back and keep the business.I'm in an awkward professional situation and my close friends have given me their advice, but I would love a few more opinions.
So, I own a small business. This past week, I met with a fellow business owner about potentially carrying my product (a wholesale dessert item) in his restaurant. My team made him a sample based on his requested needs. I went to meet him at his restaurant where he tasted the sample, and he agreed to carry the product.
Well, things started going downhill from there. Quick breakdown of the rest of our meeting: He asked me to style the product on a plate... and photograph it... with my camera... and send it to him to use for promotion... OK. That's totally his job, but I wanted to make the sale, and I figured, hey, as a favor, one small business owner to another, you know, fine. I'll take a picture and send it to you later.
So this morning, I emailed him the pictures I took of what will be HIS product. And he replies with "It's almost as beautiful as you!" Then while I was still like, :noway: , before I could reply, he had sent me 5 more messages. These gems included: calling me a pet name, "Butter", asking me to change the product and bring more samples, and this --> "Do you like that song "Lady in Red" and "Blue Bayou" they are old school, soft rock, love jams. When your creating my [potential product] I would like you to listen to those two jams. The end results will be exactly what i'm looking for." On top of the creep comments, he basically asked me to style, photograh, and edit promotional material. I'm a pastry chef, not a photographer or editor. I sell a product, deliver it, and then it's his and he can do what he likes with it.
Now I'm thinking that I'm not sure if this is going to be worth it. He's giving me the creeps. On the other hand, my business needs the income of potentially $200-400 per week.
So what would you do? My first instinct is to tell him how unprofessional his behavior is and decline doing business with him. But I am wrestling with losing the sale... should I put up with his f-ckery?
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Yikes. I hope you have a large pool of buyers.
Business owners often know each other, or at least have one another's email. You may find this backfires in a really big way.
As a female business owner, I find that ignoring overtures is the best response. They figure it's worth a try. Being female means you deflect this stuff multiple times a day, right?
Flirting is harmless for the most part.
YMMV, as always.
yes, most of this.
I would have "You're making me uncomfortable with the flirting, so can we just stick to business?" if it's bad enough to comment on. If it's just light hearted, I'd go with "Oh, you, just stop that, haha" or "Aaaaand back to the product..." Or trying to bring someone with you when you visit there. I've worked a lot of sales jobs, and there are a lot of people who are wanting to flirt. For sure you can't walk around offended all day. If it's not someone you are forced to deal with daily, you don't have to turn it into a Human Resources issue.
I do think he's out of line.0 -
Yeah I agree with this person. I would reply back "Yeah my hubby likes those songs you mentioned, I really don't care for them though (no offense!)." Just slip that hint in.I'd reply saying something like "I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions but I am (married, dating someone, gay, celibate, whatever takes you out of his potential dating pool) and am interested in a professional relationship only.
You could also reply to one of his emails and sign it as someone other than yourself to seem like your company email address is seen by others. "Hi, my boss is on a job at the moment but I'll let her know you need revisions to the product." etc
Also if you have a male employee, have him bring the pastry to him next time?
Yeah I'm kind of a weirdo magnet so I've had to use this type of tactic before lol.0 -
Just do what you are doing now so long as it makes $$. If this continues for a while/gets worse, you should say something to him.0
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Just tell him you're gay. You get him off your back and keep the business.
:sad: WHY didn't I think of that! If I go back in, I'll take my baker with me. We're real good friends and people are always mistaking us for a couple!!!
I would have "You're making me uncomfortable with the flirting, so can we just stick to business?" if it's bad enough to comment on. If it's just light hearted, I'd go with "Oh, you, just stop that, haha" or "Aaaaand back to the product..."
Yes! Flawless technique!
I would reply back "Yeah my hubby likes those songs you mentioned, I really don't care for them though (no offense!)." Just slip that hint in.
Great idea too!
I'll keep these in mind for any future interactions!0 -
Do you have somebody else who can deal with him?0
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