I need some help here. Anybody?

amethyst70

So I am new to the board. I'm already really discouraged. I have posted on a couple different sites and nobody ever responds. I am throwing a huge pity party for myself right now and I don't like it but can't seem to shake it.

It is a long story. I could give you all the details but I will stick to what is really bothering me this morning. 3rd week on the scales, and no change. I have been lifting weights for 5 weeks, and lost like a 1/2 inch in the chest area, the only place I don't need to lose inches, and everywhere else is the same or bigger.

I wanted a home gym. So the husband and I started one. I follow a total body workout and work my butt off 3x a week. 3 weeks ago he decides he is going to start lifting. He didn't need to lose weight really but needed to tone up. In 3 weeks he has some awesome biceps, and looks leaner and meaner and lost about 5 lbs. Yay him.

My 10 yr old is showing signs of an eating disorder and has lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. I catch her constantly trying to go workout in the home gym and have enforced the rule of if she doesn't eat she CAN NOT work out. Period.

My 8 yr old son is overweight and no matter what I do, I can't get him motivated to care.

My 4 yr old is now claiming she is fat.

I just don't get it. I am sitting here in tears this morning. I want nothing more than to have my life fall together. I don't expect miracles or overnight success. I want to be fit, healthy and able to lead my family in the right direction, and yet I sit here not at all being able to show progress and I am bawling my eyes out.

Sorry this is all a pity party, negative post, but I am really just at a all time low. I mean, I am really REALLY trying here, and nothing. Anybody else have these days or is it just me?

BamaBreezeNSaltAire

First and foremost, it sounds like you and your husband need to have a sitdown heart to heart about your children and yourselves and what you just posted. Discuss the issues you just pointed out and then lay out a plan of how you can go about fixing this. If need be, seek outside family counseling, these are more than likely deep seeded issues and need to be worked out with some professional help. One day at a time but the first step is getting on the same page with your spouse.

And a big huge HUG OP. Things can be accomplished, you just sometimes need a little help.

Synamin

Are you logging your food and weighing and measuring what you eat?

Escloflowne

First and foremost, it sounds like you and your husband need to have a sitdown heart to heart about your children and yourselves and what you just posted. Discuss the issues you just pointed out and then lay out a plan of how you can go about fixing this. If need be, seek outside family counseling, these are more than likely deep seeded issues and need to be worked out with some professional help. One day at a time but the first step is getting on the same page with your spouse.

And a big huge HUG OP. Things can be accomplished, you just sometimes need a little help.

This^^^^


Also it sounds like diet might be the issue if you're working out, open your diary so people can help you out!

jellybeanhed313

If you have lost inches, that IS progress. Don't you feel better after lifting weights for 5 weeks? I felt better after just a week or 2 of doing it. I have been lifting for about 2 months now and not really seen any change in weight, but I feel stronger and see a bit of a difference when I look in the mirror.
The best thing you can do is lead your family by example. Eat healthy, workout and voice how great you feel as a result. Don't make it about weight at all. Make it about health. How about a family walk after dinner? I'm not sure my opinion about family is valid since I do not have children yet, but that is my view.
The only other thing I can say is don't be discouraged. You are trying to make a change for the better. Don't compare yourself to others, especially your husband. Men gain muscle more easily than women. Sometimes they lose weight more easily. Its comparing apples to oranges-doesn't make sense.
Keep doing what you're doing. You are healthier than you were before lifting.

1princesswarrior

First and foremost, it sounds like you and your husband need to have a sitdown heart to heart about your children and yourselves and what you just posted. Discuss the issues you just pointed out and then lay out a plan of how you can go about fixing this. If need be, seek outside family counseling, these are more than likely deep seeded issues and need to be worked out with some professional help. One day at a time but the first step is getting on the same page with your spouse.

And a big huge HUG OP. Things can be accomplished, you just sometimes need a little help.

This and :flowerforyou:

Unknown

This content has been removed.

BoxerBrawler

Hey you... suck it up butter cup

I would suggest you take a deep breath, relax a bit and re-set. I read your post and know you want to get fit and healthy and lead your family in the right direction. You should start by setting yourself some realistic and achievable goals. Gaining muscle is nice but do you want to lose weight first? Do you want to change the way you and your family are eating? This takes time, it is always a work in progress, you won't get results overnight and it takes planning and dedication.

I can't tell you how to do it but I can tell you how I started my plan...

I made a list of healthy stuff that I was eating and unhealthy stuff. I eliminated the unhealthy stuff and what I couldn't eliminate I replaced with a healthier option. I did this just for me, leaving my husband, family and friends out of it. At first it was hard... eating differently, creating an exercise routine for myself, etc. But it only takes three weeks to form a habit (remember that). After a while it became habit and my grocery shopping changed, little by little the way my husband was eating changed as well. He looked at me and saw my results and decided to make some healthy changes for himself too.

You should start logging your food, making sure to weight it being as accurate as possible. Yup, this is a challenge at first but once you start doing it, it gets easier, especially if you tend to stick to the same food choices like me (I am just boring like that).

It's not easy but it's worth the effort.

As far as your children... well, I am not sure what to say about that but in my opinion if you change yourself in a healthy and positive way, they will follow suit. Instead of restricting them from what they can do or eat you should encourage them in a positive manner to made healthy choices. Lead by example if you can.

If you're initially looking to lose weight I'd say focus on cardio first vs. weight lifting. Also, remember that weight has a lot to do with what you're eating and not so much to do with exercise. The exercise is the added bonus of weight loss and overall health.

Please know everything I said above is my opinion, I am not a professional. But I hope something I said clicks or helps or makes you feel better somehow... feel free to friend me if you would like to discuss more.

amethyst70

Thanks for your response. Seems the girls became obsessed about weight when I started my journey to losing weight, becoming healthy and fit. The exact opposite of what I was trying to accomplish. I suppose a little background would help.

I am a big build type of girl at 5'8. My childrens father is a big guy too topping out at about 6'8. So my 10 yr old is way taller than others in her class. As it is the kids in the class like to hone in on that and make comments to her. Since she is sensitive and along with my attempt to lose weight she has taken that as her opening to do something about it. She speaks to a counselor at school that she is really close with, but no matter what she still cares more about what other kids say. It is aggravating to say the least. I spend all weekend showering her with positives, and her Dad does the same, and then come Monday morning back at school, and the kids start in on her and it all comes unraveled.

I guess this is where my feelings are coming from this morning. I WANT to show her and live in proof that you can eat healthy, and be beauitful in your own skin, yet no matter what I try I can't pull it off, so maybe I feel like not only a bit of a failure to myself but to her as well, and seriously I feel what happens now with her will set the tone of her life long self image.

Galatea_Stone

I think ^ advice is very good. Don't talk about dieting so much in front of your kids. Instead of talking about how fat you are and how easy it is for your husband/men, talk about "eating" and "training" and overall health.

Talking about food constantly doesn't always have the right impact on children. There's nothing wrong with talking about exercise and healthy food choices, but use terms like "training" and "balancing." Teach kids about the need for proteins, carbs, and fat as opposed to calories. Sometimes, when a child hears her parents say they need to eat less to be healthy or talking about calories, she interprets that she also needs to eat less to be healthy. Kids want to emulate us.

Putting restrictions on your child about exercising doesn't sound good, either. You shouldn't associate the exercise with what she puts in her mouth at this age. Keep the concepts separate.

Don't tell your son he's overweight. Make healthy foods available to him, encourage activity, and leave it at that.

clanmcfleming

First and foremost, it sounds like you and your husband need to have a sitdown heart to heart about your children and yourselves and what you just posted. Discuss the issues you just pointed out and then lay out a plan of how you can go about fixing this. If need be, seek outside family counseling, these are more than likely deep seeded issues and need to be worked out with some professional help. One day at a time but the first step is getting on the same page with your spouse.

And a big huge HUG OP. Things can be accomplished, you just sometimes need a little help.

This and maybe less emphasis on weight, starting with being too hard on yourself, and focus on the whole family eating healthy and enjoying some activity together. If you are introducing healthy family meals this may address your sons weight and encourage your daughter to also eat better, but i think you may also need additional support. Make sure you ask for help if you need it. These issues will be easier to sort out sooner rather than later.

viviyueyue

You are not alone! I have been working out 50-90 minutes per day for 2 months on a gazelle slide. I usually wet my whole t-shirt/yoga shirt after doing my work out so it's not just a mellow work out. On top of that, I've been counting calories carefully, drinking more water, and eating healthier than ever (started to measuring what I eat, low fat, low carb, little lean meat and mostly veggies and fruits.)
However, only slight change in weight (2.5 pounds) in the past 2 months, and the weight loss came last week, so it was later in the 2 months. I was really discouraged, that's when I came across to MFP.
Like you, I understand there's no miracle weight loss, but I've been kicking my *kitten* and I'd really hope I can start seeing results!
I know a lot of people say when we start working out, we start building muscles so we may not see changes on a scale but we'd definitely see changes in inches. Not so much my case, neither, I haven't noticed any difference on my body.
I know my post doesn't have any helpful tips, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone! And I'm sure with dedication and determination, we can achieve our goals. Cheer up!!

Cranquistador

I think ^ advice is very good. Don't talk about dieting so much in front of your kids. Instead of talking about how fat you are and how easy it is for your husband/men, talk about "eating" and "training" and overall health.

Talking about food constantly doesn't always have the right impact on children. There's nothing wrong with talking about exercise and healthy food choices, but use terms like "training" and "balancing." Teach kids about the need for proteins, carbs, and fat as opposed to calories. Sometimes, when a child hears her parents say they need to eat less to be healthy or talking about calories, she interprets that she also needs to eat less to be healthy. Kids want to emulate us.

Putting restrictions on your child about exercising doesn't sound good, either. You shouldn't associate the exercise with what she puts in her mouth at this age. Keep the concepts separate.

Don't tell your son he's overweight. Make healthy foods available to him, encourage activity, and leave it at that.

this.^

and be mindful about how you talk about yourself. They hear everything.

You have gotten some great responses and I really hope they help you feel better. Try to find something fun to do as a family or with your kids individually that is active and fun like roller skating, or one of those rock climbing places, or laser tag, or a bike ride

and far as food, also try not to demonize anything or call it BAD... nothing wrong with pizza or a cupcake...just that we can enjoy one and not take 7...it's all about balance.

amethyst70

Haven't done my food diary yet. All honesty this last week, I barely ate at all with everything going on. I know its an excuse but it is the one I am sticking to.

I am 43. Started atkins for the umpteenth time on 1/26. Lost 16 lbs by 2/14 and now nothing. I started exercising right out the gate and decided lifting weights was where it was at.

I suffer from PCOS. Graves Disease, was hyperthyroid for 2 years, now hypo, even though my Dr. refuses to accept I am hypo based on bloodwork.

I know it is an uphill battle for me and patience is key. I really do know this. I don't want or expect an overnight fix. I just want to see something. SOME little bit of progress. I don't compare myself to my husband in most cases, this time it is just kicking my butt as he is insanely competitive. He showed me his bicep and even though I really want to be in his corner it was kind of a punch in the gut. He isn't mean or gloating by any means, it just upsets me that I am trying insanely hard, and I am/have been the family motivator and somehow always the last to reap benefits. LOL. Geez I need to get out of this feel sorry for me.

Thank you all for responding. I really appreciate it and it helps a lot to just vent.

My goals? I would love to lose weight, but I am ok with weighing 200 if I can be firm. It isn't so much the number to me as how I look or fit clothes and feel. How I feel is a big thing to me as for the past 2 years I have felt like total crap.

Cranquistador

OH and as far as the scale would you open your food diary?

and are you weighing your food on a digital scale as much as possible? this can make a big difference in your calories. and how many calories are you using for your exercise? sometimes over estimating can be a problem.


also when you lift weights sometimes you retain water as the muscles repair themselves...be patient.




ETA...lol i did not see your post before I posted

what kind of weight training program are you doing?

SunofaBeach14

I think ^ advice is very good. Don't talk about dieting so much in front of your kids. Instead of talking about how fat you are and how easy it is for your husband/men, talk about "eating" and "training" and overall health.

Talking about food constantly doesn't always have the right impact on children. There's nothing wrong with talking about exercise and healthy food choices, but use terms like "training" and "balancing." Teach kids about the need for proteins, carbs, and fat as opposed to calories. Sometimes, when a child hears her parents say they need to eat less to be healthy or talking about calories, she interprets that she also needs to eat less to be healthy. Kids want to emulate us.

Putting restrictions on your child about exercising doesn't sound good, either. You shouldn't associate the exercise with what she puts in her mouth at this age. Keep the concepts separate.

Don't tell your son he's overweight. Make healthy foods available to him, encourage activity, and leave it at that.

this.^

and be mindful about how you talk about yourself. They hear everything.

You have gotten some great responses and I really hope they help you feel better. Try to find something fun to do as a family or with your kids individually that is active and fun like roller skating, or one of those rock climbing places, or laser tag, or a bike ride

and far as food, also try not to demonize anything or call it BAD... nothing wrong with pizza or a cupcake...just that we can enjoy one and not take 7...it's all about balance.

+1

It's critical to watch what you say in front of your children.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

3laine75

Sorry to say this but I think your kids issues are stemming from you. You've said you are sitting crying because you haven't lost weight - children pick up on these things. Try not to show your obsession with weight in front of them.

It's also pretty normal that your eldest wants to 'workout' - is it not more the case that they are enjoying playing with the new toys. Don't moan at them about eating or punish them for not looking after their nutrition before 'working out' - that's your job as their mum.

As to your weight loss, if resistance training is a new thing for you then you will probably be holding onto water for repair. If not, you may not be logging accurately and not actually in a deficit.

Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick on any of the points you mentioned and good luck.

Phrick

You don't need to view exercise as a punishment that you're trying to spare your children from. Truth is it's good for everyone and should be a regular part of family life. So take your daughter on long walks, a hike, a short run... it's a great thing for everyone involved.

Except that is not what she said she's doing. She said her daughter is displaying eating disorder symptoms and has lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks at age 10. She said that her daughter is constantly trying to SNEAK into the home gym and work out and she said that she's had to enact a rule that her 10 year old daughter is not allowed to use the home gym unless she eats (this implies that daughter is trying to eat less/skip meals). I don't think that disallowing a 10 year old from working out unless she's properly fueled for said workout, especially if she is in dangerous territory to begin with, is a bad idea.

viviyueyue

I think ^ advice is very good. Don't talk about dieting so much in front of your kids. Instead of talking about how fat you are and how easy it is for your husband/men, talk about "eating" and "training" and overall health.

Talking about food constantly doesn't always have the right impact on children. There's nothing wrong with talking about exercise and healthy food choices, but use terms like "training" and "balancing." Teach kids about the need for proteins, carbs, and fat as opposed to calories. Sometimes, when a child hears her parents say they need to eat less to be healthy or talking about calories, she interprets that she also needs to eat less to be healthy. Kids want to emulate us.

Putting restrictions on your child about exercising doesn't sound good, either. You shouldn't associate the exercise with what she puts in her mouth at this age. Keep the concepts separate.

Don't tell your son he's overweight. Make healthy foods available to him, encourage activity, and leave it at that.

Totally agree with ^^^^^^
I grew up being overweight and stayed overweight throughout most of my early 20s due to the medication I had to take for my health issue. My father would constantly point out how fat I was, and that I should eat little. He was really concerned I would never find a boyfriend! My parents started putting me on diet since I was 12 years old. Any methods, you name it, I've done it. I know my parents me dearly and just wants what's the best for me. But instead, my father made me feel very ashamed of myself and had very low self-confidence and felt I was worthless because I was fat and I didn't deserve to find love. I started learning and reading the correct way of healthy dieting about 2 years ago when I was at 195 pounds, but more importantly, I learnt to gain self-confidence and love myself. I can't say I'm all the way there yet, but I'm proud to say I'm getting there.
So to the point, I agree choosing the correct and more positive language can make a huge difference on your kids. Introduce them the healthy way to diet and only keep healthy food choices around the house. Encourage your son, but first, believe in yourself!!

amethyst70

So seems my venting opened a complete different avenue of where I was going.

1. I don't tell my son he is overweight. I encourage healthy eating AND balance.

2. I do feel it is important to let my daughter know she isn't going to go try to lift weights at her age, or work out on the gazelle with no food in her system.

3. I don't sit around and talk about my body, my weight, or fitness in front of my children. What happens is they offer me something they have, like a snack, and I politely decline, and they get upset, so I just state I am not hungry or that my body doesn't handle that particular snack well. Such as an orange, or cereal. Any amount of carbs puts me under the table.

4. My kids are all involved in recreational sports and we talk a lot about just overall health.

I don't mean to come across as defensive in anyway. I don't have a diary done, and haven't tracked my intake as of yet. Going to buy a scale this weekend.

For the most part I stay under 20 carbs a day and usually try to stick to 10 or under. No Dr has been able to tell me why, but if I eat carbs, I can't keep my eyes open. I do not have diabetes. I am insulin resistant. My endo swears that I should be able to eat a complex carb and not have problems. If I eat a 1/2 cup of oatmeal, or a slice of whole wheat bread, 30 min later I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open and have been known to fall asleep sitting up.

I suppose it could be a unique case. It is difficult for me to find things to eat without this problem which is why I tend to lean towards LC and Atkins.
For the most part I have been eating, chicken salad. (Baked chicken, celery and 2 tbs mayo)
egg salad. 2 boiled eggs chopped with 1 tbs mayo.
1 cup salad with 2 tbs ranch dressing.
an avocado.
green beans.

Coffee with heavy whipping cream and 1 tbs torani sugar free syrup.

Most days is a combination of these items.

amethyst70

I am not crying in front of my kids. They are already off to school.

I am not perfect but I also don't do a lot of things that have been suggested, such as make comments to my kids, or talk or obsess about my weight in front of them.

Sometimes things just roll down to the bottom of the hill, and that is where I am at. I am discouraged at this point in my journey and having a really low morning.

I asked for responses. I have got them. I will start tracking my food and open it for all. I really just put myself out there to let you all know where I was coming from this morning, and I really do appreciate ALL responses although some really don't apply here.

I am really frustrated at this point but I will just dig in my heels and keep trying. Eventually the benefits will show. There really is nothing a good cry and some good cyber hugs can't help cure. Thanks all!

SusanL222

Dear OP,

The answer to your question is yes, of course, others have days when they feel overwhelmed by life. I believe that you are doing the very best that you can. Wanting the best for our children can feel like a huge responsibility. I think the advice in first response you received is very good and one that could maybe lighten the load for everyone in the family.

As far as your desire to firm up and show some progress for all your hard work in your home gym, there are several groups on MFP that could help. Some groups specifically addressing weight training, hypothyroidism, PCOS, etc. Explore on your own or ask for links.

I think it's great that you were willing to bare your soul and ask for help. I do not see your post as negative at all. We all at times need to vent our feelings. And just know it can be difficult to "hear" some of the feedback you may get, but know it is mostly coming from a compassionate and caring place. Best of luck to you on this journey! Hugs!! :flowerforyou:

MarKayDee

I'm going to tell you my thoughts on your children's actions, and I want you to know that I am in no way blaming you.
When I was young my mother (and aunts and grandmother) would constantly talk about how fat she was, about how she was going to try this or that to finally get the perfect body, even at a very young age it resonates with me. I wasn't a fat kid, just maybe a bit funnily proportioned, my mother was the size I am now, and to a small kid she was perfect. I remember being so aware of all of the women I loved thinking they needed to be thin to be pretty that I would restrict what I could eat for as long as a week as young as six. Your girls look up to you, and your youngestis going to emulate not just you, but your daughter. No one means for their kids to pick up thoughts like it seems yours have, but lucky for you it is also pretty easy to fix them by changing how you talk about yourself and your body with your kids. Your son may be being bullied, or afraid of failing on the scale like you have in your opinion, your 10 year old is still too young to understand how to be healthy and lose weight, she probably doesn't know why you are getting upset with her, take her to see a nutritionalist or a personal trainer at a gym who can explain that even when you aren't working out you burn calories.
Then do something special for yourself, lock up that damned scale and hide the key because it seems to be a trigger for both you and your family. Tell them you're switching your focus, from losing weight to getting healthy, and you want all of them to join you. Tell your four year old there is no such thing as a fat kid at her age, she's just getting ready to get taller, ask your son to be your lifting buddy, and have your ten year old help you plan and cook meals, a lot of the time that helps get kids interested in eating.

As for your husband losing more than you, it's been three weeks. Men lose easier than women, and if you've been pushing yourself too hard a lot of it can and will be water weight that you're seeing on the scale not actual fat. Don't let it get you down just because you haven't hit the ground running, take things slow and try and fix your negative view of your body, and help show your children that the most important thing is self love and health, cause take it from me, your kids want you to be happy with yourself no matter what even if you don't wear the "right" size jeans they need and love you.

Good luck sweetheart, you can do it.

EDIT: sorry, didn't see the bit where you said you didn't talk to your kids directly about your wanting to lose weight. It isn't necessarily the directness of the comments, or even fully discussing things like that with/in front of them that can be bad though. Simply putting a strong focus on it quietly can have the same affect.

wilsoje74

So seems my venting opened a complete different avenue of where I was going.

1. I don't tell my son he is overweight. I encourage healthy eating AND balance.

2. I do feel it is important to let my daughter know she isn't going to go try to lift weights at her age, or work out on the gazelle with no food in her system.

3. I don't sit around and talk about my body, my weight, or fitness in front of my children. What happens is they offer me something they have, like a snack, and I politely decline, and they get upset, so I just state I am not hungry or that my body doesn't handle that particular snack well. Such as an orange, or cereal. Any amount of carbs puts me under the table.

4. My kids are all involved in recreational sports and we talk a lot about just overall health.

I don't mean to come across as defensive in anyway. I don't have a diary done, and haven't tracked my intake as of yet. Going to buy a scale this weekend.

For the most part I stay under 20 carbs a day and usually try to stick to 10 or under. No Dr has been able to tell me why, but if I eat carbs, I can't keep my eyes open. I do not have diabetes. I am insulin resistant. My endo swears that I should be able to eat a complex carb and not have problems. If I eat a 1/2 cup of oatmeal, or a slice of whole wheat bread, 30 min later I am so tired I can't keep my eyes open and have been known to fall asleep sitting up.

I suppose it could be a unique case. It is difficult for me to find things to eat without this problem which is why I tend to lean towards LC and Atkins.
For the most part I have been eating, chicken salad. (Baked chicken, celery and 2 tbs mayo)
egg salad. 2 boiled eggs chopped with 1 tbs mayo.
1 cup salad with 2 tbs ranch dressing.
an avocado.
green beans.

Coffee with heavy whipping cream and 1 tbs torani sugar free syrup.

Most days is a combination of these items.

Without any carbs I'm surprised you can stay awake, you should be losing weight but you need to track cals. Your kids get upset if you don't want a snack? That seems odd, my kids could care less what I eat.

kellykopp

Ok, first off, I love this post!! And the reason is, I started my journey on Jan 20th 2014. And about 3 weeks in I posted an almost identical thread!! Not so much about the kids, but about me busting my *kitten* working out with no results and how discouraged I was about it...

I was overwhelmed with the amazing support and motivation I got from this site! Everyone was so quick to tell me not to give up and giving me all sorts of advice. Before that post i had lost only 3-4lbs. Literately a day or 2 after, i was down 10! Now Im down 19lbs!

DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED!!!

The scale can be quite the jerk sometimes! And it may feel like you are working so hard and getting nowhere, but I PROMISE, you are getting somewhere!! Just keep going!! Eventually the scale will give in. Its a game, who is gonna win, the scale, or YOU!?

I started taking pictures of myself. And trust, that is no fun. I was 355 when I started so pics was not fun, but now because of the pictures, i keep comparing, and im seeing big changes!!! Let that be more of a motivator than the scale!!

You can so do it!!!

I have 3 kids as well, and Im constantly learning and failing, and learning... Kids is tough. I have a 13, 10 and 9 year old. And mine may not have the same issues as your kids, but they do have issues! All kids do, just keep being patient and loving and be diligent in training them in the right direction. As you better yourself, i know they will start seeing changes and that may be a big boost. I dont know... I just want you to know you are not alone, and You will make it through this!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!

Keep up the good work!!

ronah_t

I agree, you and your husband need to have a discussion about how and why you want to include fitness into your family lifestyle, but you also need to have a discussion, a deep, honest discussion with yourself. Ask yourself if your obsession with fitness and weight loss is healthy or is it sparked by media hype of what is the new "in" look for women. Take a look at yourself and see what it is you dont like about the image in the mirror, then look further into you and see what it is you do like. What others like about you and what your husband and kids like about you. Often we bring unhealthy thought patterns into our lives from places that are no longer serving us. We all had awkward teenage years, so if you were bullied or made fun of for yours, then its time you put them in their proper place, And that means you heal from the inside out by loving the parts of you that arent imperfect and accepting the parts that are imperfect.
Make fitness not so much about losing weight and being skinny, but moreso about being healthy and feeling good. Eating should be on purpose and you should start to form a relationship with your food. You do that by truly caring about what you eat and what you give your family. Start cooking healthy meals and making healthy snacks with your kids and husband so everyone can enjoy the relationship with food and learn that its purpose isnt to make us fat but to nuture us and help us be energized.
Take walks and do outdoor activities with your kids to help them learn to enjoy exercise as fun and not as an ends to weight. Remove those magazines with skinny girls on the cover and replace them with fitness, health, and hobby magazines. Reprogram the way you and your family feel about being healthy and it becomes a lifestyle change and not just about the number on the scale. And once you do this, once you begin to love yourself for who you are healthy. Your kids will start to see themselves diffrent too. And fitness will be a part of life but not the focus of your life.

Nireedk

Hey - you are in good company taking guidance from cushman5279 - she has had real success! I like her suggestion to start with yourself and let the others follow your lead - you can't live their lives for them, they have to make choices themselves and given your good example perhaps their choices will be good choices. I kind of started the same way cushman5279 did ... initially I cut out my dunkin donuts, my coke, and my beer!!!! I slowly added some beer back in after the first 3 months and recently added in an occasional donut ... both bad choices because I lost focus after the initial success and the holidays. You can do it! But you have to make a plan and stick to it. My initial success was also do do walking as my initial exercise. I didn't feel comfortable going to the gym or doing anything more than walking, but I started ... 20 min, 30 min, 35 min ... etc. eventually getting on a roll and doind 60+ min of hardcore fast walking. It works! With the winter, I joined a gym, but I am not as focused as I need to be so have had a long plateau. You have to stay at it to have it work. You CAN do it.