What do you think of the term BBW/SSBBW

lj5109
lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
edited November 7 in Chit-Chat
I was recently called a BBW by a guy I had been "talking to" for a few days. Personally, I do not like that word. I feel like my size should not be commented on if you are trying to call me beautiful. I am also not comfortable with the word because it has been taken out of its original context. It no longer means just Big Beautiful Woman. Today, when you google BBW the top results are porn and fetish sites. BBW is most commonly used in relation to porn and fetishes. I am not comfortable referring to myself as something in the same category as that. I think the most demeaning thing you can do is be someone's fetish.

I don't want to rant. But its clear that being called a BBW, especially while trying to lose weight, was upsetting to me.
I am interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions about the term BBW/SSBBW.
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Replies

  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    -waits for the hawt "cougars" and "milfs" and "filfs" of mfp-

    Bahahaha, I love you guys, but when you guys rant about it, it's adorable <333
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.

    Yeah, this. I'm always getting stared at cuz of my big boobs!
  • sassyrayofsunshine
    sassyrayofsunshine Posts: 499 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.

    Yeah, this. I'm always getting stared at cuz of my big boobs!

    Sorry. I thought you wanted me to stare
  • BraveNewdGirl
    BraveNewdGirl Posts: 937 Member
    It's one of those labels that's really not okay to use unless the person you are referring to has already made it clear they appreciate that title.

    No one has the right to impose their fantasy or fetish on you, ever. Just because they find something sexually exciting doesn't mean they get to comment on how it is applicable to you.

    If, however, you enjoy embodying someone's fantasy or fetish, it is not inherently demeaning. It's empowering to be able to recognize certain labels as they apply to oneself and reject others. I find it incredibly problematic that in a world where 80% or more of the internet's traffic involves pornography, we're so quick to be dismissive of sexual fantasies and fetishes (and those who enjoy partaking in them - whether consumer or provider).

    If you don't like the title, do not tolerate it. Speak up on your own behalf. Tell them why it's not okay to refer to you in that way! Just please try to avoid shaming those whom do like the term when you do it.
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
    It really is a fetishized initialism, yeah. For that reason and a few others, I personally avoid using it to describe myself.
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.

    Yeah, this. I'm always getting stared at cuz of my big boobs!

    Sorry. I thought you wanted me to stare

    You are ALWAYS the exception to the rule! :bigsmile:
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.

    Yeah, this. I'm always getting stared at cuz of my big boobs!

    Tell me about it! I have Triple D's and whenever a guy finds that out, it's like all I am now is a pair of tits.
  • BillyJan1992
    BillyJan1992 Posts: 171 Member
    I personally do not think it is ok to call a woman that especially when it might offend her. All women deserve to be treated like a queen and like a woman should be with love and care and respect and honesty. No woman deserves to be called this unless they give you the ok
  • Ravenous4Captain
    Ravenous4Captain Posts: 144 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.

    Yeah, this. I'm always getting stared at cuz of my big boobs!

    *Lifts head up and makes eye contact* Sorry ;-)
  • Gamer_2k4
    Gamer_2k4 Posts: 36 Member
    "Big Beautiful Woman" means fat. That's all. If you think someone is beautiful, just say she's beautiful.
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    "Big Beautiful Woman" means fat. That's all. If you think someone is beautiful, just say she's beautiful.

    Right?! I feel like its the same things as saying "You're pretty for a fat girl."
    It's just backhanded. And even coming from a guy who prefers bigger girls, its just weird. If he calls you that and you know he prefers bigger girls then it goes back to the fetish thing. It's an endless cycle.
  • emmanuel4everjackson
    emmanuel4everjackson Posts: 53 Member
    I was recently called a BBW by a guy I had been "talking to" for a few days. Personally, I do not like that word. I feel like my size should not be commented on if you are trying to call me beautiful. I am also not comfortable with the word because it has been taken out of its original context. It no longer means just Big Beautiful Woman. Today, when you google BBW the top results are porn and fetish sites. BBW is most commonly used in relation to porn and fetishes. I am not comfortable referring to myself as something in the same category as that. I think the most demeaning thing you can do is be someone's fetish.

    I don't want to rant. But its clear that being called a BBW, especially while trying to lose weight, was upsetting to me.
    I am interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions about the term BBW/SSBBW.

    Gentleman are hard to come by these days, good luck
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
    I was recently called a BBW by a guy I had been "talking to" for a few days. Personally, I do not like that word. I feel like my size should not be commented on if you are trying to call me beautiful. I am also not comfortable with the word because it has been taken out of its original context. It no longer means just Big Beautiful Woman. Today, when you google BBW the top results are porn and fetish sites. BBW is most commonly used in relation to porn and fetishes. I am not comfortable referring to myself as something in the same category as that. I think the most demeaning thing you can do is be someone's fetish.

    I don't want to rant. But its clear that being called a BBW, especially while trying to lose weight, was upsetting to me.
    I am interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions about the term BBW/SSBBW.

    Gentleman are hard to come by these days, good luck :wink:

    I think you just said everything that needs to be said on the topic. xD I think you're correct, what it boils down to is respect.
  • 6ronXtreme9
    6ronXtreme9 Posts: 416 Member
    "Big Beautiful Woman" means fat. That's all. If you think someone is beautiful, just say she's beautiful.
    I thought it was Big Busty Woman.
  • ComradeTovarich
    ComradeTovarich Posts: 495 Member
    All women deserve to be treated like a queen

    1390716217242.jpg
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
    It's no different than someone calling me a big boobed beautiful women. This will also bring up porn sites. Everyone is categorized somewhat. However, if you don't like it tell him to stop. IMO.
    just for clarification, are you and your boobs on this site, or just the term?
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    Look. all I know is that society has started to define our uniqueness by our label.

    BBW/SSBBW/MILF/DILF/Brah/Cardiobunny....and the lists go on and on and on...

    there is a need to find a label that defines you as special and desirable to society YET at the SAME TIME point out how special a snowflake you are.

    I admit that I belong to some of the above listed labelling groups. Some would say I am a Milf, I have been a cardio bunny. My lover likes to call me a Brah, I used to be a BBW I guess....

    But I already have a label.

    It's called a name.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Yep I really do not like that term. It's weird and vague and most often used by fetishists these days (IMO).

    When I was newly single at age 35 and around 270 lb, I thought for sure that I was considered a BBW or SSBBW since I'm fairly attractive and definitely was an obese, plus sized woman... but quickly discovered on dating sites that I was not in that category at all due to the way I present myself and further specifics of my body, face, and style. In a way I was relieved, lol, I was straight up told that I appeal to "normal guys" and not fetishists. But it still made no sense to me.
  • CamilleJackie350
    CamilleJackie350 Posts: 124
    what is ssbbw?
  • Perplexities
    Perplexities Posts: 612 Member
    Always thought it was an acronym for "Big Body Woman."

    Not surprised it leads to porn sites though, degenerates tend to have some wild preferences.

    tumblr_m69fyoKKgi1qed912o1_500_large_zps0761ebb8.gif

    .
  • ashleyblossom1
    ashleyblossom1 Posts: 699 Member
    Tell me about it! I have Triple D's and whenever a guy finds that out, it's like all I am now is a pair of tits.

    I'm feeling your pain on that. I'm also a triple D and men really can't look away. I used to be really irritated it by it, but now I think its just physically impossible to stop looking. Oh well. Its life.
  • ComradeTovarich
    ComradeTovarich Posts: 495 Member
    what is ssbbw?

    Super saiyan big beautiful woman.
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    Well, I'm a guy...and I don't like the term either. I would not want to be called it if I were a woman. But it's better than fat, imho. It implies that one can be fit and a bit bigger. That's a positive thing in my my book. So it's not a terrible term. Just not my favorite one.
  • Perplexities
    Perplexities Posts: 612 Member
    Tell me about it! I have Triple D's and whenever a guy finds that out, it's like all I am now is a pair of tits.

    I'm feeling your pain on that. I'm also a triple D and men really can't look away. I used to be really irritated it by it, but now I think its just physical impossible to stop looking. Oh well.

    Yes, no guy can stop looking at you and your chest. It's physically impossible.

    Ego of peace.
  • Perplexities
    Perplexities Posts: 612 Member
    Well, Im a guy...but I don't like the term either. I would not want to be called it if I were a woman. But it's better than fat, imho. It implies that one can be fit and a bit bigger. That's a positive thing in my my book. So it's not a terrible term. Just not my favorite one.

    That's not what it means, it's implying your the exception because you're both big and beautiful.
    So in a way it's a compliment, I guess..
  • PghPensFan69
    PghPensFan69 Posts: 2,393 Member
    Sounds like you need to change your internet settings to filter out the porn sites. :tongue:
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Im just a hot piece of as$
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    its gross

    if someone is fat they are fat people really need to stop making up *cute* *fetishsized* bullsh!t for it ...fat can still = beautiful just like thin/fit does not automatically = beautiful

    I feel like this bbw ssbw whatever is just another symptom of societies fear of fat
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