Weight obsession, daughters, hypnosis.

marymickaela

I'm 63. Highest weight 194 back in 2003. 185 in 2011. Got down to 150 in Sept of 2012 for my youngest daughters wedding, but put 27 lbs back on. This past Jan. I weighed 177. Current weight 166.

I see a therapist every few weeks and my trying to lose weight usually comes up in conversation. Basically it's about my frustration at not being able to lose and having gained back the 20+lbs I had worked so hard to lose. I invited my middle daughter to join me for my therapy session last week. She states I make her feel bad about herself. Make her feel fat, ugly, and poor. I have repeatedly apologized to her if that was the case it was never intentional. There have been times when I'm talking about my dieting I encourage my daughter to diet or work out with me. She's not fat, but I feel she needs to lose about 20lbs. After my daughter finished venting about my shortcomings she and my therapist informed me that there was nothing wrong with me, I didn't need to lose weight that I obsess over this. My daughter gave me a lecture about how beautiful I am and just wishes I could believe it. I had/have to agree about my negative self-image. I do have a distorted body image, have always been on a diet Even when I was younger and weighed 115lbs. I was anorexic before people talked about it. Lowest weight 104.

Raising my 3 daughters I was never overweight and can remember my perfect weight as being 123lbs. In my 40's I probably put on 10lbs. Then as I got older into my 50's and now 60's I put on more and more weight, partly due to medication and once I had the weight on for awhile it turned into emotional eating. I hated how I looked.


Something finally clicked this January and I was able to get back on track. I started on "The Doctor's Diet", which I feel is just a healthy balanced diet. I started logging my food again every day I also started to listen to self-hypnosis diet DVD's. I'm down 11 lbs and still going strong. Listening to my hypnosis DVD's I usually zone out before they get to the end so am not sure what my cue is to stop from eating unhealthy. I decided to listen to the tape and write down some of one. It said that when I am feeling weak I'm to tell myself "I'm attractive and I want to be healthy". Another; I'm supposed to visualize the old me eating something unhealthy, so I visualized myself last year eating my husband's bisquits and sausage gravy. I see myself getting a big bowl, opening up the two bisquits and ladeling the sausage gravy to the top of the bowl. I can remember how good it tastes. So good that wheb I'm finished I go back for seconds. This is why I gained all that weight.

I told my daughter about what I'm supposed to tell myself "I am attractive and I want to be healthy". She was so excited and said "yes, that's what you should be saying. You are so beautiful. I then told her how my doctor back in December (during my physical) told me I really needed to lose 20lbs. That even 10lbs would take a lot of stress off of my joints. My daughter stated that this was probably the worst thing the doctor could have said to someone with an eating disorder. While I probably agree it must have worked since I'm am losing and doing it the healthy way. I have apologized to my daughter for the umteenth time for hurtful comments and promise I'll do my best not to stick my foot in my mouth and hurt her feelings and if I do I want her to tell me.

That's about it for my rant/rambling post. Thanks for listening.

Rose6300

You are beautiful, if that's you in the profile pic. And you can lose the weight, if you choose to. The doctor was literally just talking about keeping your joints healthy, not judging your appearance. It sounds like your daughter is a wonderful ally in your quest for healthy weight loss and self-acceptance. You've got this!