regaining! argh.....

ok. so I've lost a total of 49 pounds in the last year. I changed my eating almost completely, started exercising 5 times a week on average. I lost weight and loved it, but was still about 20-30 pounds from where I wanted to be.

But.. I've completely lost my motivation and caring :( I've gained back over 5 pounds, maybe more, I'm afraid to weigh in. I think the biggest problem is, after a solid year of changing my lifestyle completely , I still HATE it. I hate eating healthy, I still dislike exercise.

Add to that I'm 49 and so losing weight is much more difficult that when I was younger, it feels so very difficult and I can't seem to get my lazy butt outta the chair any more the last two months.

Anyone had the issue of just plain hating eating healthy, even after a year and still kept at it or was able to find a way to enjoy it?

*whine

Replies

  • tlmcint
    tlmcint Posts: 74 Member
    nobody has the problem of not enjoying the healthy changes?
  • FrankieFrench1
    FrankieFrench1 Posts: 289 Member
    You don't have to eat 'clean' to lose weight, I think I would have gone insane if all I ate was veggies and learn meats when I lost weight, everything in moderation :)
  • wannaBrunnner81
    wannaBrunnner81 Posts: 107 Member
    I dont have exactly the same problem, but i still struggle with cravings. I crave beer and potato chips on an almost daily basis. Fortunately for me i still love working out. If you are struggling with the diet do your best to eat healthy the majority of the time but allow yourself those little pleasures here and there. And ask yourself if reaching your goal weight is "worth" it. Live is for living and if you are not enjoying life on a diet then make some changes and find a life style that you enjoy.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Usually the people who are struggling are the ones who are restricting their diet too much and doing exercise they hate. If weight loss is your only goal, ditch the exercise and focus solely on eating at a deficit. The problem here is that once you get to your scale goal, you still may not be happy with what you see in the mirror.

    Barring any medical issues, eat what you want in moderation. I've been at this for over a year and I'm not miserable (well, in THIS aspect of life).
  • HawkeyeTy
    HawkeyeTy Posts: 681 Member
    So you want the results, but don't want to put forth the effort?
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    You have to make changes that you can sustain long term. If you're not eating foods that you like, or doing exercises that you enjoy, you won't stick with it and you'll quickly lose motivation. I think you need to remind yourself why you started this, and stop making excuses. This isn't about "losing 20 lbs" or whatever number, this is for life. That's how I see it. Yes I have a "goal weight" but what happens when I get there? Nothing! I'm going to switch to maintenance and keep working hard at it. Just eat at a deficit, eat all the food you want while staying under your calorie goal, and try to find exercises that will motivate you - maybe join a class, or find a workout buddy.

    But I know it can be hard to stay motivated, and it's ok to lose a bit of steam once in a while. I've been at this for almost a year, and I have been finding it harder lately. But I am not giving up and I will keep working at it one day at a time.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Maybe your idea of "healthy eating" is skewed. I eat a very nutritious and balanced diet...I am also a foodie...pretty much everything I put into my belly is delicious and awesome. "healthy" doesn't have to be boring and bland.

    From a fitness standpoint, you have to find stuff that you enjoy doing or you will never keep at it...and I can tell you that making fitness a regular part of your life is really important...even more so in maintenance.
  • janicebinva
    janicebinva Posts: 99 Member
    I wish you the best of luck! It sounds like perhaps you have lost weight but haven't found the way to do it that is least like deprivation. Everything is a tradeoff. Personally I know I will never get to eat as much as I want and stay at the weight I want, even with working out. But I try to eat foods I enjoy. There is a balance to be found somewhere -- food has to taste good, and there has to be a treat here and there.

    About exercise... maybe you should try doing something with a buddy. Walking with a girlfriend can be so great. Or joining a gym and going to the type of classes you like. Perhaps try some different things? There are so many ways to get exercise and get strong and burn calories. Hopefully you'll find something you enjoy and can do without having to force yourself.
  • HawkeyeTy
    HawkeyeTy Posts: 681 Member
    So you want the results, but don't want to put forth the effort?

    Note:

    I was like this for a long time, I still can be. It's all about how bad you want it, and how much effort you're willing to put into it.
  • LioshaM
    LioshaM Posts: 129 Member
    Maybe you need to revisit the reason you decided go on this journey. Was it for health? Was it for looks? Was it for someone's attention? Was it to feel better about yourself? Whatever the reason, you have to be in it for the long haul. 49 lbs is awesome, but if it wasn't sustainable for life than you will start regaining.

    I've had my periods of trying this, trying that!!! The beginning of this year I was at WW, but found that it was not sustainable for me for a lifetime, nor did i want to pay $42.95 every month to only lose on an average of 2 lbs until I hit goal, which could take upwards of 2 years at the rate I was going. I left and now I'm doing research on the effect of added sugar and wheat to the body. Is it a fad, is it sustainable? These are some questions I must ask myself before getting so far and getting bored and giving up.

    Don't give up. if 20-30 is all you have to go and you've already lost 49, thae the battle is already won. If it's the healthy food, take a break and eat something unhealthy. And then go back. The exercise is boring you... choose a new sport.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    So you want the results, but don't want to put forth the effort?

    Note:

    I was like this for a long time, I still can be. It's all about how bad you want it, and how much effort you're willing to put into it.

    Do you mind holding my hand for a little while?
  • janicebinva
    janicebinva Posts: 99 Member
    Another thing -- I know that once you lose the weight and no longer feel so awful all the time, it's easy to lose sight of the major motivation of losing weight in the first place. Just think about how much better you feel now. You don't want to go back to the way you felt before, right? Please don't gain back enough weight that it feels like such a burden again. You will kick yourself.

    One thing that helped me was doing some sort of a challenge with a friend. You can make up whatever you want. Each of us had a minimum goal we were to meet in a three-week period. The rub was, if either one failed to meet our goal, there was a penalty. Be creative. We were a little evil about it. For us, we were on opposite sides of the political aisle, so if one of us had come up short, we would have had to give money to the other to contribute to a political cause we hate. That worked like a charm! We both blasted past our goals. "No way so-and-so is getting my money!" (As long as you don't actually talk about politics...) Soon, a different friend of mine and I will be figuring out some kind of different challenge.
  • frangrann
    frangrann Posts: 219 Member
    I hear what you are saying. Although I enjoy working out I would love to eat whatever I what, when ever I want it!
    Sometimes at lunch at work I see what others are eating and I have "food envy". Or at a restaurant I try to choose heathy even tho I want the higher calorie choice.

    I have been dieting for years only to loose and regain, thus never making the lifestyle change. I want this current diet to be over but it never will.

    I guess that's what we have to accept.
    You have done great so far. Good luck!
  • KHalseth
    KHalseth Posts: 104 Member
    So you want the results, but don't want to put forth the effort?

    No, I think you missed the point. She did put forth the effort and after a year never grew accustome to it. She hated every step of the way but she did it. Now she is having trouble finding motivation to keep doing something she absolutely hates. I can't imagine a year hating what I was eating. I wouldn't last that long. It is a testement to her focus that she managed to last a year being that unhappy with what she was doing.

    Figure out how to blend in foods that make you happy without over doing it. Treat days or something to feel good about food. And find different workouts. Something you can love. Maybe a dance class or something if you can fit it in. Try lots of things. I never thought I would like kick boxing, but I do. Not that I've done it in a while.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I don't eat 'healthy'. I try to make my food the tastiest I can for the least calories. It doesn't always work, but I've found that I can eat very delicious foods and still be below my calorie goal most days. I just cook way more than I used to, so I don't get bored... Heck I had a Snickers bar today, and I had some chocolate eggs yesterday... it's all about moderation, and making better choices overall. I still eat a fairly good amount of 'junk'.

    For exercise, I've tried programs etc... and I still don't like it. So I do what I enjoy... walking. I walk 3 miles a day, and I take 15 minutes 3 times a week to lift heavy weights... that's my compromise. At this point I feel guilty if I don't do it anyway, but I don't work so it's pretty easy to find time for it.
  • mamayoga
    mamayoga Posts: 43
    I sympathize and empathize. I am really bad at sticking to a regimen I hate! That seems normal!!!

    It took me two years of gentle dieting and Curves gym, to lose 20 lbs. Then I totally blew off dieting and exercising this winter. And gained 10 pounds.

    Maybe, it helps to know myself really deep down. To feel like I'm being kind to myself, not punishing myself, when I diet. That's hard to do. And to think that working with my body is something that I do to make myself happy. So I can dance or feel good or whatever.

    I do little things that make it easier.
    LIke, measuring calories... so I know I have enough calories left sometimes to have a Snickers bar, or a Starbucks...
    not every day, but enough so that I have little treats often.

    Exercise... my hubby uses the treadmill... i think I hate the treadmill. Sometimes, I'd rather eat less, than have to bust my butt on a treadmill... however, I love to dance, do yoga, and go outside... these are things that make me Happy as well as exercising me.
  • CrystalFlury
    CrystalFlury Posts: 400 Member
    ok. so I've lost a total of 49 pounds in the last year. I changed my eating almost completely, started exercising 5 times a week on average. I lost weight and loved it, but was still about 20-30 pounds from where I wanted to be.

    But.. I've completely lost my motivation and caring :( I've gained back over 5 pounds, maybe more, I'm afraid to weigh in. I think the biggest problem is, after a solid year of changing my lifestyle completely , I still HATE it. I hate eating healthy, I still dislike exercise.

    Add to that I'm 49 and so losing weight is much more difficult that when I was younger, it feels so very difficult and I can't seem to get my lazy butt outta the chair any more the last two months.

    Anyone had the issue of just plain hating eating healthy, even after a year and still kept at it or was able to find a way to enjoy it?

    *whine

    I joined this site August 2011 when I realized purely exercise wasn't going to get me in a healthy place. I began by just cutting out the obviously BAD things and mostly just stuck to portion control (which I still have issues with, especially after 3 months of logging/caring 40% of the time).

    Eating healthy? I try, it's difficult still. I don't crave healthy food usually and like someone else said on here, I didn't lose by eating only veggies and lean meat. I lessened the foods I ate and tried to incorporate the good stuff where I could in a tasteful way. I thought twice about exposing myself to conditions where restraint was difficult, i.e. buying a whole pizza from Papa Johns or baking sweets--I'm the kind of person who will eat ALL of what I crave of those things. I'm STILL working on that, recently, like I said, I quit being so strict with myself and started putting myself in the position to binge on the bad things. I'm cleaning my diet up (diet, as in what I eat on a normal basis to sustain living, nothing temporary like what most people think a diet is).

    It has been almost 3 years since I began my journey and I successfully maintained my weight for that time, until this winter when I've gone up 10 lbs., my clothes don't fit so well now and I don't feel as good as I did before. I'm a work in progress, as always. My goal is to just eat well, exercise (I already naturally enjoy it), and think twice about snacking mindlessly.

    My suggestion with the "exercise"--perhaps find a partner you can walk with on a normal basis. You don't need to go to the gym or workout to exhaustion, you just need to get moving for a small part of the day. I know some people just aren't programmed to enjoy workouts but there have to be less strenuous activities you can find and enjoy without labeling them as "exercise". Maybe make it a social thing to make it less daunting.
  • littleandysmom
    littleandysmom Posts: 173 Member
    I'm 48 and dieting is absolutely no fun....:noway: If I wasn't so addicted to exercising, I'd have a bigger problem with my weight. In the past when I stopped going to the gym and had stopped working out on a daily basis, the need/desire to exercise diminished greatly. I exercise almost everyday now and find that if I skip a day, it just doesn't feel right. I agree with others to find some form of exercise that you enjoy. There are a ton of cool workout videos on youtube. My youngest son doesn't like to exercise, I took him to a nearby park that has frisbee golf. It was fun! Do you have a hula hoop, trampoline or a jump rope? Sometimes its hard to get back into exercising but you can do it.
    Here's a cool article.... http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10798/6-reasons-why-exercise-makes-you-happy.html
  • Sarah4fitness
    Sarah4fitness Posts: 437 Member
    I get this. I call it burnout. I take a week off, do what I want, and then force myself back on the horse. The mental aspect is key, and if you're not in the right headspace, this all becomes much more of an uphill battle.
  • suejoker
    suejoker Posts: 317 Member
    First of all, thanks for being so honest! I've been there, too. I'm 48 and, a few years ago, I got really motivated and lost 40 lbs. Then, I got busy and forgot about my weight loss goals and next thing I knew, I had regained 22 lbs. I'm motivated again and I'm back on track, but I still haven't gotten down to where I was 2 years ago.

    I don't hate eating healthy, but I do have to make sure that I make the time to buy the healthy foods that I like to eat. If it doesn't taste good, I'm probably not going to eat it. I plan my meals a week in advance and shop accordingly. Feel free to friend me and peek at my diary. (This last week I was on vacation with a knee injury, so maybe ignore it;)

    I mostly dislike exercising, too. However, I try to stick to the ones that I dislike the least: yoga, walking, dancing. Then, if I'm feeling really unmotivated, I say, "Ok, today I'll just do 10 minutes of yoga". What usually happens is that once I'm in motion, I stay in motion and do much more. I may not like exercising, but I do like how I feel afterwards. However, as another member said, you don't need to exercise to lose weight.
  • FabulousFifty
    FabulousFifty Posts: 1,575 Member
    :flowerforyou: I can relate. I lost some weight and just got weary of dieting. Then, I remembered how great it felt to be in pretty good shape. So, I am at it again, and have a different angle...I am not dieting. I am eating and exercising to be healthy. Sounds cliche, but it is real, and the only thing that will help you sustain for the long haul. Take some time to reflect, decide why you are doing this, regroup, and remember....remember how good it feels to be fit!

    Sharon
  • sofun1210
    sofun1210 Posts: 1 Member
    I understand and totally sympathize. I feel exactly the same way and have had the same results -- regaining. But I am starting again. For the month of February I started exercising and trying to eat healthy without counting calories. Did not lose one single pound. For the month of March I am still exercising, but back to counting calories. There is just no way around it for me. Take a break from health eating (briefly), but keep counting the calories. You have gotta find an activity that you enjoy. Walking on the beach does it for me.
  • tlmcint
    tlmcint Posts: 74 Member
    Ok. so I love how supportive you all are, reading through these replies really gave me a needed boost! Thank you, Thank you! I think somewhere in my head is still the idea of this is all a temporary "diet" and so I resist against it. So first I need to realign my thinking.

    I think what I'll try as ya'll suggested and get a friend to exercise with me! Maybe zoomba, something more upbeat than the treadmill. And take the time to plan out my meals better and make them more tasty. Honestly there are days I eat just dry salad or raw vegies and lean meat because I'm too busy to do anything else, and the absence of something yummy really weighs you down mentally after a while.

    I really don't want to go back to how it was being so overweight. The complete lack of energy and feeling so awful about myself. I am much happier having lost what I have so far, I can only imagine it will be even better once I lose the rest! So again, Thank you all for the replies and suggestions. *hugs to all :)
  • gbutterfly
    gbutterfly Posts: 23 Member
    you know I enjoy a lot of things about eathing healthy - love veggies and eggs/ fish/ lean meats. love fruit. what I don't love is the portion control that is required both to loose wight and keep it off. I hate giving up wine, and chocolate. I hate limiting carbs. as for exercise - I like the good felling of accomplishment I get when I exercise - but I do become discouraged when I get injuries or this or that part of my body hurts (feet, knees, etc.)
    I started running at 39 to loose weight. I was never a runner when I was younger - hated it, couldn't breathe, etc. I learned to love it as I got better. Also enjoy Zumba but only if I can mix it up and go to different instructors.

    I definintely get the diet/exercise motivation fatigue - I lost 36 lbs a few years ago and have gained all but 10 of it back. This year have started loosing again -but VERY slowly. I can't do the fast pace that I did even a few years younger - menopause has really kicked my but and I don't recover from injuries as quickly. I don't know if you can keep the motivation constant - I think we have to keep finding new motivations. Hubby and I signed up for a mud run in the Spring and thinking about a Zombie run in the fall. thinking about having a race to train for and a time limit gives me motivation. Also when some friends at work and I were competing/ weighing in each week and had a friendly wager - that was very motivating until one friend passed the rest of up so far that there was no way we could catch her. ... As I said for me I have to keep finding new short term targets that are motivating along the way to the long term target of goal weight and maximum health
  • pinkprincess3082
    pinkprincess3082 Posts: 13 Member
    I know exactly how you feel! I've lost about 6 stone over the last few years and it's been a slow and painful process. I'm on my last 10 pounds or so, which means it's now even more slow and painful.

    I walk the dog every day, I go to the gym, I lift heavy. I weigh everything I eat, I'll still eat what I want but in moderation...and I frickin hate it!!!!

    Don't get me wrong, I feel great and everything but gahhhh! Sometimes (ok, maybe all the time) I want a big fat pizza...or a burger with all the trimmings, and Chinese omg I miss stuffing my face at the all you can eat Chinese buffet.

    But I can't. Because that's what got me to my fattest. I could eat my 6' 4 rugby player boyfriend under the table if I let myself, he has always been impressed by the amount of food I can put away! Instead I measure out my sad little 30g of cereal and cry (I don't really but you get the gist).

    I just regularly tell myself to suck it up lol, and all I have to do is look in the mirror or at a fat photo and I'm good.
  • Starfish1125
    Starfish1125 Posts: 169 Member
    I'm joining the sympathy wagon. I've been trying to lose the same 30 lbs for years now. I start and I stop. I do well and then I fail. I got down 8 lbs and put it back on. :noway:

    But now that I'm 41, it's SO MUCH HARDER to lose weight. What is it about hormonal changes that make it so difficult? I also have arthritis in my hips (WHAAAT??? :sad: ) so my brand new elliptical can't be used as it grinds the sockets. So I'm back on the treadmill.

    I am a picky eater, too, so I am not adventurous with veggies/food.

    I much prefer laying on the couch and eating crap - but that's how I got into this shape in the first place.

    My Dr finally told me to lose 10 lbs for my physical this year.....that's in July. I really want to get down 15 and show him I'm serious about my health!

    BIG HUGS to you - it's so easy to fall off track but remember that it's just as easy to jump back on!:drinker:
  • stephanj
    stephanj Posts: 898 Member
    I love your honesty :-)
    And totally understand. After years of doing great with healthy eating and exercise I recently experienced my own inner rebellion, I just couldn't find motivation to continue and quickly gained weight back. I ate chocolate, drank tons of wine, and actually enjoyed it! but now i am unhappy with my body and facing doing all that work over again.I hope this doesn't come off as blunt, but if you stop weighing yourself and start eating the old foods, you will likely gain it all back, and I know you don't want that. I don't know what to tell you lol, you will have to find your own motivators, but just try not to gain for awhile.?
    And for the love of god life is too short to do and eat stuff you hate!!! I think you need to work at falling in love with some new food and activity, try something new!!! Also, check yourself that you are not depressed, sometimes we self sabotage when we are depressed. Dunno if any of this helps lol