Is it weird that I DON'T want support??
emleeclaire
Posts: 8 Member
Sooo... Yesterday was the first day back on the diet.
It went well. I mean, apart from the Kinder egg and the marshmallow. And the stupid grape that I've just remembered that I didn't track.
The problem is that I despise telling people that I'm dieting. (That's a lie. I actually despise not being a naturally skinny person who is super athletic... but having to tell people I'm dieting is a close second.) It's like broadcasting to the world that you're chubby, and then asking people to pass judgment on you.
"You're not fat, you're lovely."
"What are you dieting for? Honestly."
"Don't eat that Kinder egg, you'll regret it."
Thus, I am refusing to tell anyone at work that I'm dieting. But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
We'll see how being a 'secret dieter' by day, works out... :ohwell:
It went well. I mean, apart from the Kinder egg and the marshmallow. And the stupid grape that I've just remembered that I didn't track.
The problem is that I despise telling people that I'm dieting. (That's a lie. I actually despise not being a naturally skinny person who is super athletic... but having to tell people I'm dieting is a close second.) It's like broadcasting to the world that you're chubby, and then asking people to pass judgment on you.
"You're not fat, you're lovely."
"What are you dieting for? Honestly."
"Don't eat that Kinder egg, you'll regret it."
Thus, I am refusing to tell anyone at work that I'm dieting. But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
We'll see how being a 'secret dieter' by day, works out... :ohwell:
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Replies
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But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
or just say 'no thanks' and leave it at that....0 -
I have never once told people I am dieting.....because I am not nor have I. This is a lifestyle change for me. A diet it something you start, quit, start again....etc. I never plan to go back to my old eating habits. I have a new relationship with food now.0
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I know right?!!
I hate telling people that I want to lose weight, it's like making them realize that I'm not skinny
"Do you wanna be a model or what?"
" men like curvy girls"
Bla bla...
Good luck for your journey and NOM on the kinder egg, nothing bad about those! :flowerforyou:0 -
I can understand where you're coming from. Perhaps instead of "dieting" you could focus on "getting fit/healthy". As part of that, you could take up a sport or train couch to 5k?0
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You could say you have gluten intolerance ;-)0
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Not weird at all. I'm with you. I have two friends on MFP, who are both people I know IRL. Every time I accept a friend request on here it goes one of a couple ways: a) they vanish after a month or so, b) they just like every diary message and say something like "Good Job!" or "Way to go!" like it's Facebook but never seemed to check with me if I had a couple bad days in a row (most likely a cheat day but at least ask right?), c) or they get all butthurt when I see them possibly struggling (like 3 days in a row of 500 calories of candy as a snack and going over cals by 500, because I've been there) and try give advice, so I'm over it. If I have a one off question I'll ask on the forums, but I really don't need a cheering section.
I don't mention it at work either, unless someone asks.
Just keep doing your thing, and rock on.
EDIT: Clarification of a couple sentences, plus fixed spelling0 -
Not weird at all. I bet it's fairly common. Being pretty introverted I just want people to leave me the you-know-what alone.0
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No, not really. And you want support... (MFP) you just don't want ATTENTION. Big difference and I get it. I'm an extrovert so I'm fine with it. People will say, "You like like a different person" and I take it in stride. I have a girlfriend that was mortified when ANYONE noticed or said anything to her at all. To each their own.
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You are posting because you want support for your position, but your position is that you don't want support.
I love irony.0 -
I keep my dietary preferences to myself at work. None of their business. But that being said, we don't have a lot of goodies here at work that I feel pressured to avoid. If there are treats, I may partake, I may not, no one has ever said anything either way. My family is pretty supportive for the most part. Love my MFP friends tho and the support they give!0
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Not weird! If someone asks me if I'm counting calories or something I don't lie about it, but it's usually not something I bring up on my own. People just have too many opinions and unsolicited advice always kind of bugs me.
That being said, I do have a FEW close friends/family members in the loop that I trust to actually support me and not sabotage me or anything, and that is helpful. But as for the majority, I guess I like being a little mysterious :ohwell:0 -
Like others have said, the thing you're asking to avoid is not support. What you don't want is unwarranted attention and frankly, is quite rude.
Support is congratulating people for moving towards their goals.
If someone told me they were dieting, regardless of their body type, my only response would be that I wish them luck in meeting their goals and that I am somewhat knowledgeable on fitness and nutrition if they need help or have questions. I would never comment that someone was eating something "wrong" for their diet or tell them not to do it... that's body policing, and it's wrong.0 -
Sooo... Yesterday was the first day back on the diet.
It went well. I mean, apart from the Kinder egg and the marshmallow. And the stupid grape that I've just remembered that I didn't track.
The problem is that I despise telling people that I'm dieting. (That's a lie. I actually despise not being a naturally skinny person who is super athletic... but having to tell people I'm dieting is a close second.) It's like broadcasting to the world that you're chubby, and then asking people to pass judgment on you.
"You're not fat, you're lovely."
"What are you dieting for? Honestly."
"Don't eat that Kinder egg, you'll regret it."
Thus, I am refusing to tell anyone at work that I'm dieting. But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
We'll see how being a 'secret dieter' by day, works out... :ohwell:
In a couple of weeks it will be a year that I have seriously started MFP ( and lost 50 pounds ). I have never told anyone what I am doing. When I am offered things I don't want I say " no, thank you " and leave it at that. No one has so far pressured me. When people ask me if I have lost weight I usually say " yes, some..." and they also have not pushed me. When someone congratulates me on my weight loss I say " Thank you " and leave it at that. I am an older professional adult with a career and no one has ever behaved in a way that I had to pull anything creative in regard to weight loss out of anywhere. But then again, maybe I am just lucky.....:o).0 -
Nope, I'm exactly the same way. I LOATHE being fat, and even that word in an understatement. I don't have lots of fat or obese people in my life, and almost none of my relationships have a heavy food component. I don't like talking about weight and weight loss in real life, at least as it pertains to my road. In the past I would sheepishly mention that I was trying to lose weight, and that was only out of a deep shame and embarrassment, wanting to basically let people know that I was just NOT alright with being fat. But never in any kind of great detail at all, not with the vast majority of people in my life.
Now that I'm very successful with losing my mind set is much healthier. I don't bring up my weight loss, or what I am, or am not, doing to lose. I let my success speak for itself. But even then I don't indulge people who want to know what I'm doing to lose. I don't need any kind of "support" to do what I'm doing.
The only people I talk to about it are my wife and my sister, and I am very open with them and talkative on the subject. Meanwhile I hadn't seen my best friend in months, and when he saw me we talked about it a little bit because I've lost so much it's unavoidable. I didn't go into details, but I did finally reveal to him how much I hated being fat. He had NO clue it bothered me at all. That's how private I am with this journey, that even my best friend, who I am very transparent and open with, didn't know the magnitude of my issues, or that I was actively trying to lose weight.
I don't like being defined by obesity, even in the exit from it.0 -
When people comment on my choices in real life, I just deflect it with a small joke and change the subject.
"Oh, why aren't you having more wine?" "Last weekend I pretty much took a swim in Beaujolais, so I'm taking it easy this weekend. I hear you just got a promotion?"
"Come on, you look great, have a cookie!" "Cupcakes give you muffin tops...but seriously, I'm not actually hungry, thanks. How was your trip to Mexico?"
"Are you eating enough?" "It wasn't starving myself that gave me this extra winter weight, don't worry. Did you hear that so-and-so is having a baby?"
Etc., etc., etc. If you don't want to answer personal questions, you really don't have to. I hate having to explain exactly what I'm doing and why when it's not anyone's business. The only person I really discuss it with is my boyfriend, because he keeps me accountable and doesn't let me eat too little, which is my tendency when left completely alone.0 -
Its not that you don't want support you just don't want to call attention to yourself. I totally get that. Its not that I personally really care- I mean you can look at me and know I'm fat. But I don't like defending my choices on HOW I lose weight or WHY now.... Your not weird just taking care of you.0
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Just don't take the cake. And if they ask why, say you don't want any. And if they ask why again, say you saw someone sneeze on it. Your office will get very thin and stop asking you.0
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I don't see this as NOT wanting support, but rather not wanting criticism on your choice. Support is always good. If everyone at work supported your effort, you wouldn't have to secretly eat. Unfortunately, more people are critical than supportive when it comes to dieting.
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Nah, some of us are more private than others; I don't mind the support of MFPers but I am not that public a person usually. Of course, living in a rural town may factor into that a bit...0
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The problem is that I despise telling people that I'm dieting. (That's a lie. I actually despise not being a naturally skinny person who is super athletic... but having to tell people I'm dieting is a close second.) It's like broadcasting to the world that you're chubby, and then asking people to pass judgment on you.
"You're not fat, you're lovely."
"What are you dieting for? Honestly."
"Don't eat that Kinder egg, you'll regret it."
Me too exactly.
You just open yourself up to comments about your body and every bite you eat.
I keep it all to myself.0 -
Oh I just googled kinder egg because I had no idea what it was.
Now I want one....0 -
I understand this 100%. I am such an introvert and I hate talking about my physical self with other people. Hate it.
Example: every day for breakfast at work I have tomato on toast. I don't eat this because of calories or whatever, it is genuinely my favourite breakfast. Every day someone will say to me 'oh my gosh, you're SO HEALTHY!'. Every day. Seriously. It's just tomato. On toast. I don't understand why they focus so much on it when they see me eating it every day. And most people here eat that fruit/yoghurt/muesli/whatever combo anyway, so it's not like I am outdoing them in the health stakes (plus I'm the fattest person here, so probably am not SO HEALTHY). Another thing is like when I lost a few kilos and in one week I had three different people start fluffing over me. "You've lost some weight haven't you! Are you sure? Yes you have! Tell me! Seriously! Wow!" I understand that it's socially acceptable to lose weight but it makes me so uncomfortable that people are looking at my body and then commenting on it. I always just say 'no', even when I have, because it shuts the convo down quicker than them following on by asking what I eat and blah blah blah :grumble:
Anyway that turned into a rant, sorry OP! I do know the feeling though and wish people would just shut up but just try to keep deflecting it and changing the subject and hope that they eventually stop... :frown:0 -
That couldn't possibly work!
But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
or just say 'no thanks' and leave it at that....0 -
You do WANT support, but that's not what you usually get. My simple thing answer is "no thank you" and if they must have more info "I'm just trying to eat healthier" or " I already had some ____ today and I don't want to over do it". The word diet tends to be very negative.0
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I so get this. Hate hate hate discussing my weight, diet, food with anyone IRL except immediate family. Especially since I have been losing and regaining the same 10kg for the past few years so it is just really obvious to anyone I have talked about it with that I am a crap crap dieter. Or a good dieter and a really crap maintainer. Meh.
I quite like to live under the illusion that I am the only one who notices that my stomach entesr the room a second before the rest of me and to all else I could be mistaken for Miranda Kerr on any given day. To let them know that I am not happy with my appearance and actively focus on health is like letting their mind open to the fact that perhaps I may not be Miranda's doppelganger. And then they would look down and see the truth of the matter. And then it gets awkward.
Do it how you want to do it. It's a very personal thing and it really isn't anyone else's business. I did like the suggestion of just saying no thank you. Light bulb moment! Would have saved me a lot of nonsensical rambling about kids leftovers and allergies and bad segways into very unrelated topics. Will have to try this "no" word. Here comes my husband, I think I will try it now.0 -
Sooo... Yesterday was the first day back on the diet.
It went well. I mean, apart from the Kinder egg and the marshmallow. And the stupid grape that I've just remembered that I didn't track.
The problem is that I despise telling people that I'm dieting. (That's a lie. I actually despise not being a naturally skinny person who is super athletic... but having to tell people I'm dieting is a close second.) It's like broadcasting to the world that you're chubby, and then asking people to pass judgment on you.
"You're not fat, you're lovely."
"What are you dieting for? Honestly."
"Don't eat that Kinder egg, you'll regret it."
Thus, I am refusing to tell anyone at work that I'm dieting. But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
We'll see how being a 'secret dieter' by day, works out... :ohwell:
First of all, a single grape has like, a calorie in it. Try to be in the habit of logging everything, yes, but don't beat yourself up over it!
Second, Kindereggs are amazeballs, and if I had access to them, I'm sure I'd slip and have one occasionally too. Don't beat yourself up over it.
And marshmallows are actually one of my favorite snacks! Low cal, super filling and fat free. Unless you have problems controlling blood sugar, don't beat yourself up over it Tomorrow is another day!
More to the point, I'm like you. I'm rather uncomfortable letting those I know IRL know that I'm watching what I eat, as I feel like they judge you more when you have a "cheat meal". They don't know how hard you worked all week so that you could enjoy that giant bacon cheeseburger, they only know that you said you were dieting, and it doesn't look like you are!0 -
I haven't told anyone at work - not announced it to anyone at all but when someone notices then I tell them I'm eating less than I did and using mfp
At work I sometimes eat the cakes and biscuits people bring in - I pack a smaller lunch if I know it's a birthday or just go over budget because it doesn't hurt to do that occasionally
Sometimes I just say no thanks
Sometimes I take the goodies and sneak them home to give to the kids0 -
I think that sometimes it's even better to just say that you don't feel like eating something. Then the subject is cut.
If you start to behave strangely, come up with sophisticated explanations or just be secretive then the people will notice that, get interested and catch up the subject. You will end up being flooded with question to stonewall.0 -
But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
or just say 'no thanks' and leave it at that....
This. There's no reason you need to TELL people you're "dieting", I've always thought that was an attention-grab. I never say it because I'm not dieting. I'm working on losing weight by becoming aware of my choices.0 -
That couldn't possibly work!
But because they're a bunch of cake eating Humphreys, I'm going to have to pull some pretty creative food-swerves out of the bag.
or just say 'no thanks' and leave it at that....
Oh yes, it does work. I have done it and I still do if somebody offers me something that I don't want to eat, for what ever reason. If besides the words you add "the look," then people will eventually get the message. If they keep insisting, well strict measurements are needed.
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