When did you feel 'slim' enough for gym?
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I'm a pretty self conscious person and was really nervous about joining the gym, but once I took the first step it really wasn't that bad. People of all sizes, levels of fitness and attitudes join the gym.
The weights area was full of intimidating looking guys with huge arms, but when I looked a bit lost there some of the guys were really helpful and gave me some newbie advice. Most people are just there to do their workout and get out. They don't care what others are doing as long as you aren't hogging lots of equipment or not returning your weight etc. Just make sure you do an induction and learn the etiquette.
If people are going to judge you they are the sort of losers who would judge you wherever you are not just because you're at the gym. Life is full of these people unfortunately you can't let them stop you doing what you want to do.0 -
I'd suggest touring a couple gyms in your area and seeing if any of them feel more comfortable to you. I started my weight loss journey at the YMCA and never once felt like anyone was watching me or judging me. I later joined a small, privately owned studio and liked that even better because there were usually only one or two of us in the gym at a time.
This. Gym culture and community varies widely. I love my YWCA. It's a diverse population on all counts, age, ethnicity, income level, fitness. I've never once felt uncomfortable there.0 -
Those "healthy" people in the gym got healthy in the gym. No excuses, join up and be a part of it.0
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I was a little afraid when I joined the gym for the first time as well, because I admit, I lack confidence. See if your local gym has a ladies section and maybe work out there? Personally, I always go to the ladies section and I love it, but try to get me to go in the rest of the gym and I get extremely uncomfortable. Don't know why, I just do, despite the fact that in my particular gym rude or judging comments will get you thrown out (as will posing in the mirror and that kinda crap), as well as all over the walls they have slogans "no criticism", "In with encouragement. Out with judgement." Yes, there are a lot of skinny/fit people at the gym, but there are a ton of less fit. less healthy people as well. Everyone starts somewhere. There's a reason that my gym (and many others) call themselves a Health Club before they call themselves a Gym.
When you're at the gym nobody's going to judge you, nobody's even going to care really. The only time I really talk to someone at the gym is if I'm waiting for a machine. Though I will add that people can be really helpful: if you don't know how to use a machine and somebody is using the same one next to it, they're not going to bite your head off if you ask "hey, how does this work?" They're way more focused on doing their own thing than on judging you, trust me.0 -
making fun of fat people at the gym is like going to a hospital to make fun of sick people.
^^^^^^ Exactly !!!0 -
Many gyms offer a free "try it" week if there are multiple gyms in your area, you could work out for a month or so without a commitment. If your schedule allows, go to gym different times throughout the day. There is a variety of ages, fitness levels and crowds throughout the day/night. Fabulous easy read for overcoming fear is Who ate my cheese? Poses question"what would you do if you were not afraid?" BTW I weihhed 315 working out at gym as others have said, you CAN do this and once you do post to let us know about your experience. I'm sure there are many on forum waiting to see how it went giving them assurance that going to gym at any size, as Martha Stewart says, "is a good thing".0
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when I saw a picture of myself and had that omg no it cannot be moment
Noone judges you at the gym (unless you are beng foolish/trying to hurt yourself)0 -
Yeah I know how you feel. I say to myself okay when I'm at 160 I'll join the gym because by then I'll be 20 pounds away from my goal and probably be pretty confident with my body. But yeah how do I know that lol?
I'm 186 and I hit the gym 2-3 times a week. There are people both smaller and larger than me.0 -
Never because I hate gyms.
Edit: I workout at home.0 -
I was a teenager and young adult when women were expected to wear leotards and tights or biker shorts to the gym. Think Jane Fonda videos and Olivia Newton John - Lets Get Physical. Talk about pressure and expectations of how to look when working out. The fashion uniform alone kept me out for years. By the mid to late 90s I found out it was OK for women to wear baggy shorts and/or sweats. I felt like I could finally have a chance. Even though some women wear short shorts, leggings, crop or tank tops today, there is no one enforcing a dress code like there was years ago.I know a lot of people on here say that you should join a gym no matter what your size is if thats what you want to do. I cant seem to build up the confidence to take the leap and join. Every time I enter the building its full of fit healthy people and I dont feel like I fit in there quite yet. I keep hoping that once I lose X amount of weight I will look the part as it were and not stick out like a sore thumb.
Anyone else felt they had to lose weight before joining the gym?
That said, I still don't feel slim enough to fit in at the gym. Many times when I go, I'm easily the fattest person there. Including both men and women. I just focus on working out, doing what I need to do. Ignoring the occasional smirks from the sub-100 pound ladies or buff young men in love with themselves. Pretending not to notice the boney anorexics who act as if my fat may be catching if they get too close.
My advice is to make a plan in advance:
- How much cardio, weights, stretching?
- How long at each?
- Which machines?
- Which free weights?
- How many reps? How many sets?
If you're focused on your plan, you won't have time to look around at people looking at you.
If you don't have a plan, try a few sessions with a trainer. Or have a friend help you. Once you get started, you can do some research online and on YouTube.
Good luck0 -
I walked into a gym at about 500lbs.
The owner gave me some free "personal training" and when he was walking me through the routine, there were a couple machines I couldn't even get ten reps of no weight on (Shoulder Press for one).
So yeah that wasn't the most fun I have ever had. It was also terrifying. It was also embarrassing.
That said - never heard a negative comment from anyone. Most people were incredibly helpful (even the two juice monkey's that went everyday - and I don't say that derisively, more of an inside joke - they were quite open and educated about their "supplementation").
I have a home gym now but I still talk to a number of people I met there.
Don't let the fear of the gym explode in your mind. From my experience, the gym is a pretty supportive place. Obviously this could vary wildly depending on the gym, but at the worst, I doubt any will be as bad as we fear.0 -
My advice is to make a plan in advance:
- How much cardio, weights, stretching?
- How long at each?
- Which machines?
- Which free weights?
- How many reps? How many sets?
If you're focused on your plan, you won't have time to look around at people looking at you.
this is spot on- having a plan will save you from walking around feeling very conscious about not knowing what you are doing- where you are going.
have a plan- be flexible- but have a plan - it goes a long way to relieving tension.0 -
You got this! I realize it is easier said than done, but anyone who stares is likely more impressed than anything.
I am always impressed to see women my build lift more than me, makes me think i should be doing more.
Do what is right for you and don't worry about the others.
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I think the question is "when do you feel 'slim enough' to stop wearing the baggy tees to the gym, and show a bit more of your new curves!0
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walk in there with your head up high
you have every right to, just as much as anyone else 0 -
Thankyou everyone who took time to reply. I have been through and read all of them.
I think the idea of having some time with a personal trainer for the first few sessions would be a good idea. At least this way I can make sure I am using everything correctly and it'll help settle me in a bit. Hopefully having them there may lead to me meeting some people who will become familiar faces and hopefully let me see that the gym isn't as scary as I fear it will be!
I think I keep waiting to look at myself and think 'yes you have nothing for anyone to pick at any more' and suddenly become the confident person I have always wanted to be. But the more weight I lose the more I realise my confidence issues go deeper than I first thought. I still think I'll have these issues even when I reach goal weight. I'll be waiting a long time to do anything if I wait until im happy with myself.
I'm restarting bellydance lessons next week which I haven't done for about 5 years. Hopefully this will give me a bit of a boost and a nudge to get the courage to join the gym!0 -
I'm restarting bellydance lessons next week which I haven't done for about 5 years. Hopefully this will give me a bit of a boost and a nudge to get the courage to join the gym!
YAY
I'm a dancer- I've been at it for almost a decade- please get back to it- and if you need some moral support- I'm here!!0 -
The only person I've ever made fun of at the gym is the chick who spent a 1/2 hour on the elliptical making phone calls and didn't even break a sweat, and I made fun of her because I couldn't figure out why she even bothered to go.
oh, I also make fun of the 25 year old who does her hair, full makeup, dresses in coordinating outfits (including her sneakers and socks and hairbands) and spends more time prancing in front of the guys and looking at herself in the mirror than working out.
Other than that, meh.0 -
Let me put it this way..I've been going to the gym for around a year and a half and I still don't feel slim enough.;) Ive lost 65lbs and there are still some days that I feel self conscious. I would say that at the hour i workout I am still one of the largest females there and that sucks. Especially since I work so damn hard. It has everything to do with the negative 'self talk' in my head. It's hard to get beyond comparing yourself to everyone. I have to work on that constantly. Happily I have less days lately that i actually feel uncomfortable in my skin,but i work hard on that. So if i had waited until I 'felt' slim enough I'd still be sitting on my couch. So if you want to go to the gym please just start. Don't wait for a magic number on the scale or for some 'feeling' that you are small enough to go. We all started somewhere. I NEVER judge anyone that is there to improve their health bigger or small. And really..speaking from experience..most of the time i'm so focused on what i'm doing I don't even notice others around me.
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Go to the gym if you're ready to workout in a gym... period. Please please please. I will tell you I have never heard anyone in the gym talk bad about someone overweight in the gym. Never. When I see large people in the gym I think to myself, "You rock!" and wish I could actually tell them that without making it seem like I'm being condescending. Seriously when I see large people in the gym THEY motivate ME.
I know you feel like people are going to look at you or judge you but let me tell you - what they're doing is thinking to themselves, "I'm so proud of them for being here and I don't even know them." Believe me.
And if there is the rare A-hole that would think something negative - screw them. They aren't worth you concerning yourself with.
Good luck! If you're ready to continue your journey by adding the gym then go. It's about you not anyone else.
EDIT: and if you wait until you feel like there is nothing anyone has to pick on you about anymore you'll NEVER go. Hardly anyone has a body they think is perfect... everyone is trying to improve something that's why they're there.0 -
Chances are nobody is going to really pay any attention to you unless you are wearing something crazy or making a ton of noise or do something really weird.....nobody will give you a second look. 0
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Thanks everyone. I do realise a lot of it is in my head. I know most people there will just be getting on with there own thing but my confidence is so low all it would take would be a comment from one idiot and id leave and probably not come back. I need to work on not caring so much what others think of me I guess. I was told for so long that I was too fat to exercise I cant get myself to stop believing it now.
If you start going in, you will come to believe that you belong there. The self confidence will come as you start going in
on the random off-chance someone says something, brush it off and keep on going. go for it and don't look back. 0 -
Honestly, people are usually listening to music and ignore everyone else. I went back to the gym when I was 220lbs after having my 2nd baby. I felt massive and unfit, but never had any comments. I'm nearly 35 weeks pregnant now and barely even get a glance when I'm in the gym, and I have a huge baby bump!
Maybe try doing some classes, if your gym offers them. Also, good idea to have a few PT sessions first to gain some confidence with the machines and your workout sessions.0 -
Just do it
I am that 280lb person at the gym right now. But you know what? I started as the 305lb person at the gym. With the exception of literally ONE person who made comments about how women shouldn't waste everyone's time by trying to lift weights- everyone has been nice. The attendants always give me a big smile and ask how I'm doing, how my workouts are going, etc. People are not necessarily "friendly and chatty" but they are certainly not condescending. I've had lots of people just walk by me and say "great job" ... because I could be sitting at home saying "Oh, I'm too fat, I can never change, etc etc" but I'm not.
I work out at almost the same time every day, so see some of the same people ... and they are shocked that I have gone from barely being able to walk a mile, to running intervals of 5k with hill work. People are very supportive and the gym is a community. I'm definitely not saying that people won't be jerks... but it's like anything else in your life, people will be nasty! The support far outweigh the nay-sayers though.
You can't let fear of being embarrassed stop you from getting out there! Maybe you can enlist a friend to join the gym with you, if that helps?
You can do it!!! I have every faith in you 0 -
I say just get in there and join. The longer you hold back, the longer it will take for you to begin your journey to achieving your goal. Yeah a lot of people in there are fit and it may be intimidating, but they all had a starting point just like you. They didn't start at the gym when they felt comfortable. I'm sure some did, but they just dove right in and did it. Trust me, no one is focused on your when you go to the gym, they may look at you for a second, but they're focused on themselves and their goals. Everyone who joins the gym has a purpose, and that is to get fit and maintain a healthy lifestyle. If anything, bring a buddy with you and it will take away from the feeling of displacement and you're guaranteed to feel better.0
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I have a lot more respect for not so in shape people at the gym than for fit looking people! It means they are taking control of their life/health and actually doing something about it.
I know it's not easy, but go for it! It will be easier after a couple time you go and you start seeing familiar faces
I agree with this^0 -
I am the heaviest person in the gym - at the time I go - and in the BodyPump and BodyCombat classes that I take. At first, I was upset by this and was seriously thinking about not going until I lost some weight. I'm still 70 lbs overweight. Now, I'm proud of myself for going to the gym and taking the classes. The way I see it, I'm still the heaviest person there, but I'm there, doing the work and slowly seeing the results.0
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I struggled with this for years. One day, after I'd gained the confidence that general facts of adult life like holding a full time job and being responsible for a lot more gave me, I realized that if the gym thought I was fit enough to take my money, I had as much right to be there as anybody. I earned it.
Do I get judged? Sometimes. But whatever. I just practice good citizenship; comply with the rules, obey the time limits, clean the machines after using them, keep my locker neat, etc. So I know no one has any legit reason to complain about me. If they want to make faces, they're the ones who end up looking ugly.0 -
I am the heaviest person in the gym - at the time I go - and in the BodyPump and BodyCombat classes that I take.
I love Body Combat. Did my class this morning and it's great to see the mix of sizes and ages doing it. There's a woman in my class who must be 70+ and I'd love to be still kicking *kitten* when I'm her age :-)0 -
To be honest I never felt fit enough for a gym even at my lowest weight. But when I realized just how dangerous and unhealthy my weight is I had to change my thinking. I do not go to the gym for other people, I go for myself. Yes a lot of people in a gym or fit and lean and small, they have also been going to gyms a lot more than I have. They are at different points of their fitness than anyone else in the gym. I suggests finding a gym that offer different classes and start with that. Good luck!!!!!I know a lot of people on here say that you should join a gym no matter what your size is if thats what you want to do. I cant seem to build up the confidence to take the leap and join. Every time I enter the building its full of fit healthy people and I dont feel like I fit in there quite yet. I keep hoping that once I lose X amount of weight I will look the part as it were and not stick out like a sore thumb.
I think my reluctance stems from school gym class where I was picked on for not being able to do the exercises as well as the slimmer kids. They made every P.E lesson a misery. I know I am not at school any more (thank god) but cant shake the feeling that Im going to get jeered at for being more jiggly than lean.
Anyone else felt they had to lose weight before joining the gym?0
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