Feeling lost and a bit of a hypocrite. (warning long)

Lisah8969

The most important thing I learned this time around is "everything in moderation". In the past, I would lose 20 pounds in two months by giving up everything I wanted to eat and eating too little. Yeah, I would be proud of myself, but then remember how much I really wanted a cupcake or cheeseburger and totally go back to past habits and gain it back. This time I realized that I can have what I want (in moderation) and still lose. And this way the weight loss has stuck! Yes, I still have a lot to go, but never in the past have I kept this much off for this long of a time. And I don't feel deprived. Was it really this simple all along and I was just too stupid to realize it???

You can do it, too! Reading your post you know that you have to do it for yourself and that is very important. I still remember harsh words told to me from 20+ years ago. Those words really never go away, but their effect on me has definitely lessened.

Add me as a friend if you would like! I know you can do this and want to be around to share in your successes!

squiguk

Well done on sharing your story, it's the first step to getting help. I really feel for you and when you feel so alone it can make things so much harder. But you're not alone. This forum offers a lot of support to those who need it so make it a part of your life. Briefly, my advice would be:

-Get your weights and measurements now and know that if you really want to change your life, you will never see those numbers again!
-Set yourself a long-term goal and shorter, attainable goals with time frames to get there - often people fail when the goal they set is too big and overwhelming and they think they will never get there. So you might say, "this time next year I want to weigh 3 stone less, have taken up some exercise and met some new people" (or whatever) then break it down into monthly goals such as 'I'll go swimming twice a week every week this month' etc
-Don't cut anything out - cut down on unhealthy food, eat more veg and fruit, drink loads of water and find an exercise you enjoy (with some variety)
-Have you considered joining something like weight watchers? Not necessarily for the weight loss side but to meet people who are in the same situation as you and who could become friends

Finally, please don't be so hard on yourself. If you are posting motivating things onto facebook then that will be helping people even if you don't realise it. Make it your goal to follow your own advice! You are worth it and with hard work and determination and a little help from your MyFitness Pal friends you will get there!!

Good luck! xx

amylg05

Like everyone else has said, that realization and finding courage to share your story is a great firs step. I can pretty much relate to most things that you said, I was bullied in school for being fat even though looking back now I wasnt that big, I just was compared to everyone else. I am naturally quite well built and I have never been slim or healthy in my life - just over a month ago I reached my biggest point after going through a break up and a period of severe depression and anxiety. I have 2 best friends and thats it, one of them really helped me through the time. Things started to improve a little after I made the decision that enough was enough and that if I wanted to feel like I am worth something, then it is MY responsibilty to do something about it.

I have now lost 12lbs and feel amazing, its not an obvious loss but that sense that I can actually acheive something is priceless. Use all your negative thoughts and all the negative things people have said as motivation - this is one of my biggest motivators, or it was at the start - now I genuinely love the feeling that I am being healthy and the high you can get after a good workout.

Also, dont ever forgot the other little victories you acheive like clothes feeling looser, people noticing youve lost weight! You should write these down and read them when you feel de-motivated. Also, if you dont have pinterest, I realllllly recomend creating one and making an inspiration board - this has helped me more than anything.

Sorry for writing so much, feel free to add me if you like and good luck! :>

madhatter2013

You've taken the first step by coming here. The next step is to change your mind. When I read your story, what stuck out to me is the need to be loved by comesone other than yourself. You seem to NEED a man to be happy and feel important and your standards are set pretty low. You need to love yourself, no matter what you look like, before anyone else can. You need to accept who you are and then lock that feeling in the forfront of your mind so that you always know it's there and can refer back to it when you're feeling down. Next, you should make a list of the all the you like about yourself. Dig deep so it's not a short list. Then make a list of all the things you'd like to change and how you can accomplish those changes. Make it like a checklist and hang them both up on a mirror or something you use everyday. On that checklist, place a reward next to each item you'd like to change as that will be your goal. Post both lists somewhere you'll see them everyday. Give yourself a year. Did I mention...post the lists where you can see them every day. These will be your reminders. Buy a bikini, or something that you'd like to wear in a year, and hang it up where you can see it everyday. This will be your motivation. When you make yourself happy, everyone else will fall in line. Be strong and stick to it. In time you'll be able to ignore the people who dog on you and surround yourself with people who care and want to help. Give it a year and POST THE LISTS!!! You can do this!!!

msdeb424

Wow...you really took a huge step in sharing your story. That takes an immense amount of courage! How did you find that courage?You walked home from the restaurant. Well done! You post uplifting and motivating comments and pictures for people. It sounds like you care a lot. You are currently losing weight. That's fantastic! How are you doing that? You have one true friendship and you had a beautiful relationship with your uncle. What is your part in making those relationships work? You recognized that your relationship with your ex wasn't good for you and you kept your promise to yourself to not take him back. Wow! How did you do that? You really opened up by posting here today. That must have been challenging when you find it hard to trust. Amazing work! You wouldn't trade your body for the world. That sounds like love to me. What makes you feel that way about yourself? What is the smallest easiest thing you feel like you could do today to get to where you want to be? :flowerforyou: