I CAN'T be healthy! Someone help me!?

fitnessenchanted

I just cant be healthy. Let me explain my issue quickly. First I was into dieting and all, but after 2 years of drastic weight loss and weight gain I gave up for like 5 months only to start a new diet every month. I would always say "This June" Or This "November".....It never lasted longer than 10 days. And now recently I've discovered its bad to diet. Your supposed to want a healthy LIFESTYLE. Not just a quick weight loss.

So now here I am struggling to be healthy for a couple of reasons

1. I don't know how to cook at all! (Not healthy foods) Im more of a frozen dinner person

2. I am SO used to failing that I just don't believe I can do. I think "Whats so different from Last summer? December? November?

3. Whenever I start trying to eat healthy My sister sees me and asks "Starting a diet" I reply yes. But we both know its going to fail.

And lastly 4. I'm STRUGGLING SO MUCH with wanting to be a normal eater. I just wanna be one of those people whose lives don't REVOLVE around food! Those normal people barley think about food. They get to be normal eaters. Why Cant I be like that?

Blue801

On #2... What is different? If nothing is really different, then you can't expect different results. Are you any different? Is your determination or mind set any different?

Are you making your diets too restrictive or cutting your calories too far making it an unsustainable drudgery???

Find a new way of eating you can live with. Best of luck to you. You are the only one who can make it happen, but not with that attitude.
:drinker:

lemonsnowdrop

If you want to change badly enough, you will. It won't happen in a week or a month or maybe even a year, but if it's something you're dedicated to, it'll happen.

Oh, about the not being able to cook: I was the same way. Cooking isn't hard, it just takes practice. Experiment every now and then, look up recipes and videos, and soon enough you'll have enough material to eat healthy meals.

Never say you CAN'T do anything.

spicegeek

In this age I see no reason why people can not learn to cook - the internet has step by step instructions for just about anything.

I don`t enjoy cooking ( I love baking ) but I cook several things in one go and freeze them - really simple things - grilled chicken , lean burgers, mince and onions cooked slowly to make a meat sauce

rice does`t need cooking - just leave it in the water for a few hours , lots of veg are good raw

Heat in the microwave

ILxScalco

You have to want it...like, really want it.

jlynnm70

1. cooking isn't as hard as you are thinking. If you can read you can cook. Just follow a recipe and see what you get. Otherwise go for things that don't need to be cooked. i eat lots of cold meat (think chicken slices from the deli) veggies and fruit. And most people that say that can't cook, actually can. Even my 8 year old can make scrambled eggs and boil pasta. (mac n cheese)

2. find what is different this time and focus on that.

3. Don't tell your sister you are 'starting a diet' if she asks say "no, just some small changes" Don't do anything drastic. Take one or two things at a time and do that until it becomes habit, then add another. It's easier to make small changes than overhaul your life in on big swoop.

4. 'Normal" people think about food too - You can lose weight eating anything - it might not be the healthiest, but you can do it. I don't deprive myself of anything. If I want ice cream, I get out the food scale and eat a small bowl. If I want a cookie, I eat one or two, candy - same thing. It's portion control, not rocket science. Once you learn what portions are appropriate, then start subbing out one thing for another. Whole milk with 2%, 2 pieces of bread on a sandwich with one - open face, small simple changes to start.

Same with exercise. You don't have to run a marathon - just take a walk around the block. we all have to start somewhere.

shinkalork

Stop saying (DIET)..that's what you need to stop thinking.

Diet don't work!

Healthy eating lifestyle does... just change what you're eating.

Steamed veggies...get lean meat....brown rice....whole wheat bread.... fruits etc all these will do fine.

Starving or seeing it like a diet..will fail at some point.

scubasuenc

I understand feeling like you won't succeed. I've yo-yo dieted for decades and had pretty well given up. I didn't even want to start a diet because I knew I would fail. So I just take this one day at a time. I only need to be 'good' for today. String enough good days together, and I found myself well on my way. For the first time I have hope that I can get to my goal weight.

While I can cook, I don't do so very often just because I don't like to cook or one person. So not cooking is not an excuse. I eat frozen dinners quite often but still manage to lose weight. You just need to be selective in what you eat. Weigh, measure and log everything. Logging helps to make you aware of what you are eating and when you are eating.

While ultimately it is all about calorie math... burn more calories than you eat. You have control over the burn portion too. Try to start moving more. Walking is great exercise. The more calories you burn, the less you have to restrict what you eat.

It is hard, but you have to want to change more than you want to stay the same.

CTcutie

I found the act of logging my food (and yes, you need to WEIGH it!) helped me overcome A LOT of obstacles. I was seriously resistant to the thought of exercising, so that was harder for me to adapt to than the eating part, surprisingly.

It of course presents new ones, though, too. I did not wake up one day and have an epiphany, but something this time WAS different. I changed how I thought; it takes time. Like waayyy more than you think or want, but you just keep plugging along, one day at a time, and one day you see the changes happening :flowerforyou:

mschicagocubs

I know that it is a drastic change and not everyone welcome change very easy, but you have got to stop saying I CANT and start saying I WILL.

The first key step to losing weight is accepting the lifestyle change and working hard to accomplish it. No one has lost weight because they are a gourmet chef or it just comes naturally. If that was the case, we wouldn't be someone who has to lose weight....

Start saying I can and get determined.

Achrya

Cooking: Do simple things, in advance (Cut up onions and peppers then freeze them, make chicken breast and then refrigrate in baggies to toss on salads or pasta, stuff like that). Get a slow cooker. Deal with proportioned meat and fish, which can be tossed into the over and baked and individual veggie things (Just for One, from Green giant, are life savers.

Difference: If nothing has changed I don't know why you expect things to change.

Who cares if your sister knows you're on a diet?

You can eat normally and lose weight

kgeyser

Not knowing how to cook is not an excuse. They sell precooked frozen chicken breasts, brown rice that cooks in 90 seconds, and frozen veggies - all which can be cooked in the microwave. Prepare large enough portions and you can reheat the leftovers for a meal the next day. Anyone can slap meat, cheese, veggies, and condiments on some bread. The freezer section has breakfast sandwiches, bowls, fruit, steel cut oatmeal - all microwave friendly. Greek yogurt is full of protein and only requires you to open a container and operate a spoon.

You need a calorie deficit to lose weight, not kitchen expertise.

vjohn04

I think you could change your attitude from 'can't' to 'can' and you'll probably be more successful.

You need to make changes you can keep for a lifetime. Diets aren't forever.

Pick a calorie goal and stick to it (tdee - 20%). Doesn't matter what you eat at first... once you get used to the calorie goal, then pay attention to your macro nutrients. Get enough protein, get enough fat, and you'll be on the right track.

krispy1982

Sometimes changing too much at once can be setting yourself up for a let down. What worked for me was developing the habits of the person I wanted to be - that way I kept it off without too much effort because it was just the new way lived.

For example, when I was very heavy I was drinking a lot of my calories in Kool aid and pop. I focused on drinking more water and then eventually cut the stuff down to once or twice a week. I waited until the weight loss stopped and I didn't need to 'work' at that one anymore then I moved on to adding one more serving of veggies, then walking a little every day and so on. I stayed the same weight for a years and only gained 20 lbs back when I was laid up for a while. Now I'm finally following my own advice and those lbs are on their way out.

You could try cooking just once a week at first, or just logging all your food honestly for a month or so until you don't even have to think about it and then add something else ( added bonus: your sister won't even notice the small changes until your pants start to fall off!)

btw if you like frozen food by all mean eat it. You might feel a little better with some fresh food and less salt once in a while but really it's the calories that stuff our clothes too tight- not where they came from.

Jazz_2014

I want to add to what someone else said about stop calling it a diet and make it a lifestyle. Sometimes the whole concept of eating correctly is overwhelming. It can be a major overhaul if you compare the change to what you have been doing. If the concept is to large you may need to approach it differently.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Pick something you can change easily. Maybe eat one more fruit a day, or stop drinking sodas or drink more water. Once that has become habit, pick another thing . . . If you eat fast food, pick the best choices and not the 500 cal. Burger w/fries . . . Get a salad. Maybe later you make a goal to prepare yourself to not eat fast food at all.

Make one change at a time, have it as a habit and then pick something else. Some things you may not drop cold turkey, but just reduce.
Then when your sis asks about "the diet", you can say you are not on a diet you are just trying something different.

mactaffy84

You have to want it...like, really want it.

This. And less whining. I really don't want to be mean, but sometimes it takes a PITA to say it. Only you can do this and only if you want.

SillaWinchester

Let me just console you by saying that I was in the EXACT same mindset as you for the past 5 years of my life. I've noticed my way of living wasn't healthy since I was 15 but I never stuck to anything (whether I called it a diet, a lifestyle change, healthy eating habits, exercising for fun... etc.) I was ALWAYS miserable and only stuck to diets for a week or a month at best. I always let the most minor things sabotage me (family buying ice cream, no time to work out, having a bad day..etc.)

There really is nothing that anyone can do or say that will help you. You have to do this for YOU because YOU want it.

Sure, we can inspire you for a moment by telling you that a new healthy lifestyle will benefit you in the long run but you REALLY have to want this. You REALLY have to WANT to make a change for YOURSELF.

It took me a long time to get to the positive mindset of REALLY wanting this for myself and I'm not going to lie, I still feel like giving up sometimes but that's life. We make mistakes and we grow from them after we learn that those little mistakes won't end the world.

Feel free to add me as a friend and message me asking for some help. I have PLENTY of ideas for small ways to change your life for the better.

Good luck to you!

acogg

3. Whenever I start trying to eat healthy My sister sees me and asks "Starting a diet" I reply yes. But we both know its going to fail.

The hell you will fail! You are trying, so that is not failure! Failure is lack of trying! Do not try to do everything at once, it is overwhelming. Try to make just one change tomorrow. Then do that change for awhile. No boundaries or judgment. Then try another. Keep building on small changes. I can't stress this enough. I see friends burn out, injuries, not enough calories, etc.trying too hard at first. It is overwhelming at first, so take it slow and easy to relearn a healthy lifestyle for you!

amethyst70

I'm only a week into MFP. I have been moderately overweight my whole life and recently hit my highest weight. I pretty much had just given up and used my Grave's disease as an excuse. I have done both low fat and low carb diets. I now stick with a relatively low carb diet, modeled off of Atkins but with my own tweaks.

I have NEVER counted calories and I am 43. I spent most of last week trying to convince myself that I just couldn't get healthy, and it was out of my hands and that was it. I had started my diet on 1/26 as well as some beginner weight lifting and stalled after losing 16 lbs. I accidentally found this site and here is where I am at today.

I broke my stall and lost 1.4 lbs so far this week. I started doing cardio this week. Just a brisk walk for 30-60 min every other day, and have changed my lifting routine, which is around 45-60 min every other day.

You know what? This site is full of information & numerous winners with loads of wisdom and knowledge.

I spend a lot of time using the search feature, and just searching info. This past week I learned how to figure out my TDEE. I log everything I eat. Against MY better judgement, I decided to eat more than what I had been, because hey, what I was doing WAS NOT WORKING and everything I read said to EAT. So I ate more, and do not feel deprived at all and still managed to start losing again.

I would suggest logging every single thing you eat. I find it "fun" and for me it takes the focus off of thinking about food so much and placing it more on taking a stand once and for all and learning as I go. My challenge is less about thinking about my next meal but more about thinking about logging it. Weird maybe, but it is working for me.

There is no success story that I have read on here that is a quick fix. None of them happen overnight. However there are numerous success stories that not only happened over time, but the success still remains. When I look at THAT, I say that is what I want. I want long term success, without deprivation, and honestly, all you have to do, is commit to educate yourself, be open to trying a new way of doing this, and invest 5-7 hours a week for cardio/resistance training. If I can do this, you can do this.

As far as cooking goes. I buy frozen skinless chicken breast on sale. I take them straight from the freezer into the oven. Season them with whatever you choose. Today I sprinkled mine with cayenne pepper, poppy seed, parsley flakes, onion salt, garlic powder. Shoved them in the oven at 350 for 45 min or so and there you go. I usually cook 4-5 at a time.

Today I sauteed some asparagus, fresh green beans, mushrooms, garlic clove and brocolli with a splash of soy sauce and had that over my chicken breast.

For dinner, I took 1/2 of one out of the fridge, diced it, and added a stalk of celery diced, along with some mayo and made a quick chicken salad, and ate it on cucumber slices.

Tomorrow I may just dice up one and saute it with some bacon grease and onion and serve over a fresh salad.

Yesterday I had a chicken breast with a cream cheese, chive, green pepper mix melted over it.

The possibilities are endless.

Feel free to add me if you like. I don't have a lot to offer other than a few recipe ideas, some motivation, but I would be happy to be your friend and work through this together!

easjer

I was there for years. Literally years of my life spent feeling ashamed of my size and weight and angry that I was judged for it and that I wasn't normal, but really not in the right headspace to make permanent changes. For any variety of reasons, some legit, some not.

It only happened when my head was in the right place to actually do it. You can't manufacture will-power to make good decisions. There is no magic pill or spell that will make you suddenly want to make healthy eating choices or to get up and work out or stick to it or anything. There is only your determination at every single individual choice to do it or not. And be willing to do it the next time if you aren't in this particular moment.

Today I wanted hot chocolate and a cookie. So I had hot chocolate and a cookie. Three years ago, that would have derailed the entire week. This time, I enjoyed them and I got my *kitten* up out of my chair and worked out for 30 minutes I hadn't planned to work out to cover those calories. And I will eat a little less and do an extra few minutes tomorrow to ensure there was adequate deficit for the week.

It is true that you need to make lifestyle changes, but they don't have to sweeping changes or all at once. Maybe challenge yourself to give up soda for a month and see how it goes. Something small that is a change towards healthier habits, but not so overwhelming that you are doomed to failure. It's about learning that good choices build on good choices and how to navigate less healthy choices. You have to stop making empty promises to yourself and accepting excuses from yourself and you may not be there yet. But nothing will succeed until you are there.

easjer

Oh, and as for cooking - honey, please. A crockpot and microwave can do wonders for someone inexperienced in the kitchen. You don't have to be a gourmet chef to create edible, healthy, even tasty meals. Some of the best dishes we make are the least complicated. Crockpots especially are amazing - usually you just layer stuff in and turn it on. And if you live alone, that's 4-6 meals for you, easy-peasy.

PurpleFairie

You need to take a moment and say the past is the past. Accept you are human and not perfect. Then take a deep breath and say today is a new day and today I'm making some healthy choices. You can't cook? No problem, you can mix a protein shake and have fruit or wheat toast for breakfast. You can stop buying processed lunch meat and buy deli chicken or turkey. Most restaurants offer calorie and nutrition information now, pick carefully. You are in charge of your happiness and life. If someone asks if you're starting a new diet, say no, I'm just changing some of my habits. Take it day by day, meal by meal. I've been where you are, and recently decided to not diet, but to make lifestyle changes. And it actually works. I've only been using MFP for over a week. But it is helping me think about what I'm eating and how much exercise I am actually getting. And the support is great. Create a small goal, like 'I'm going to try to make 1 recipe this week' or 'I'm going to walk x amount of minutes this week'. Achieve it, and set another small one. You won't feel so overwhelmed and the feeling of "I can do this!" will increase and keep you motivated. Good luck!

AwesomeGuy37

Seriously learn how to cook. You can find out how to make just about anything on Youtube, and even tutorials on how to cut an onion and other beginning stuff.

Dewymorning

#1 The best way to learn is to start cooking. The internet is your friend when it comes to learning to cook.

Lots of easy recipes.

wen1965

A friend of mine was eating really badly due to a medical condition that left her permanently tired. She changed her psychologist and got the best advice ever: Frozen dinners are for those days you don't want to/can't cook. They may not taste like you made it yourself but that are nutritionally balanced, and the perfect backup for when your cooking experiment doesn't work out or you have no energy to cook. Just look for something that is a complete meal and looks yummy.

Small changes that you can live with work better than major overhauls. Replace french fries with baked potatoes in their skins (throw in a hot oven for an hour), replace icecream with low cal yoghurt, creamy pasta with tomato based pasta etc. Once that becomes normal take the next step and continue on making small changes. In the long term you will be learning to cook and learning to be healthy.

Don't think about weight, think about health. Your weight is just a number, your health is what is going to provide a long and happy life.

healthylifehappywife8914

Can you open your diary so we can see what is going on more clearly?

Overall, the most important thing is not to make it a "diet"- make it a lifestyle change. Thinking of changing your eating habits as a diet means that you will stop and go back to the way you were eating. Try to change 1 thing per week- cut out chips and eat fruit instead. Then, the next week, pack a salad with protein for lunch every day. Making small changes will make the habits easier to hold on to. Adding exercise into your routine, no matter how small the amount, will significantly impact the number of calories your body burns and you are able to eat in a day, so try to incorporate small amounts of exercise and increase it little by little...

Hope this helps Good luck to you and feel free to add me as a friend for support!

snowflake954

Awesome post here, with lots of help--great ideas. I can't say anything better, but follow their advice and in a month you'll be on your way to success. It does take time.

MissBabyJane

Don't think about it as a "diet", but more like a healthy lifestyle change. Don't eat junk food, eat more veggies, fruits, meat, eggs, nuts. It's a slow process, but you will get there.

Btw, even if you're not good at cooking, it's not so hard to steam some veggies and roast chicken with salt and water.

eldamiano

I just cant be healthy. Let me explain my issue quickly. First I was into dieting and all, but after 2 years of drastic weight loss and weight gain I gave up for like 5 months only to start a new diet every month. I would always say "This June" Or This "November".....It never lasted longer than 10 days. And now recently I've discovered its bad to diet. Your supposed to want a healthy LIFESTYLE. Not just a quick weight loss.

So now here I am struggling to be healthy for a couple of reasons

1. I don't know how to cook at all! (Not healthy foods) Im more of a frozen dinner person

2. I am SO used to failing that I just don't believe I can do. I think "Whats so different from Last summer? December? November?

3. Whenever I start trying to eat healthy My sister sees me and asks "Starting a diet" I reply yes. But we both know its going to fail.

And lastly 4. I'm STRUGGLING SO MUCH with wanting to be a normal eater. I just wanna be one of those people whose lives don't REVOLVE around food! Those normal people barley think about food. They get to be normal eaters. Why Cant I be like that?

If you really want to be one of 'those' people, then why arent you out learning to cook, trying different foods, doing exercises or taking up hobbies that dont keep you thinking about food, instead of bleating on here about it?

Holly_Roman_Empire

The best (and hardest) advice I ever got: Stop talking and start doing.

That applies to everything you want in life, not just weightloss. This is the modern world, and you can do anything you put your mind to. My husband often says "Everyone is in the exact state that they want to be in. If they weren't, they would do something about it."

It's true. If you're not happy where you are, you should actively be doing something to change it. If you're not, then perhaps you're not really ready for it yet. Stop complaining and start changing.

MinnieInMaine

1) Cooking doesn't have to be hard. Just start looking for recipe ideas and start experimenting. I used to be a so-so cook but have used this method over the years and learned what I like for ingredients, methods, spices, etc. Like any other skill, it takes time to develop. Soups, stir-fries, skillet meals, casseroles and crock-pot meals are all fairly simple. It's mostly a matter of prepping ingredients, following instructions and putting it all together. There are a million sites with recipes online and a couple even have ingredient searches, which I find most helpful. Try allrecipes.com and myrecipes.com - links below. For myrecipes.com, scroll down a bit and on the right you'll see a cutting board with a post it that says "what's in your pantry" and you can enter ingredients there to search.

http://allrecipes.com/search/default.aspx?ms=1&origin=Home Page&rt=r&qt=i
http://www.myrecipes.com/

2) This is actually a great place to start. Really think about what you've done for "diets" in the past and why they didn't work long term. Were you too restrictive? Trying to eat too little? Trying to cut foods out that you really enjoy? Neither of these methods is sustainable. Find a good balance where you have dishes you enjoy but maybe make them lighter or healther (use leaner meats, bulk with veggies instead of pasta/rice/potato) and/or have smaller portions. And make room in your food plan for the occassional treat so you don't feel deprived

3) If you think you'll fail, you likely will. Instead start with a positive attitude that this time you will make life long changes. And don't let your sister's opinion affect you either way. When I made that decision several years ago, I announced that I was going to join Weight Watchers again and my brother rolled his eyes and said "here we go again". That ticked me off. Here I was determined to finally make a change and he didnt' believe in me. Then I realized he sort of had a point but instead of just saying "yup, he's right, I'll never lose the weight, why try" I said "screw him, I'm going to prove him wrong!" And it got me through some tough times when I plateaued and just wanted to give up.

4) It's my opinion that very few people are normal eaters. They might appear to be because you see that at work and they're just eating salads and fruit but you don't know how they eat at home. Or maybe you only see that at events and they're eating everything and you're jealous that they can eat that way and stay slim but what you don't know is they work out hard and normally eat very light and healthy. Don't compare yourself to others without knowing the whole story. Everyone has their struggles!

Bottom line is, stop being so hard on yourself. These changes take time. Pick one goal for every week or two whether it be diet related (eat more fruits/veg, drink more water, etc) or fitness related (workout 2, 3, 4 times per week, try new DVD or class, etc) and concentrate on that one thing until you get it down pat. If it's not working, rethink the goal or set it aside and pick another one then try again later. Don't just give up because you have a bad meal or day (or even week or month), get right back to it, or even start over from the beginning.

You can do it!