looking for help to help my 3yr old gain weight

jamiesillimandunn

So here I am on MFP myself to lose weight but on the other hand I have three young daughters ages 5.3.2 all very healthy and just cute as can be but my 3yr old little girl , has struggled since born to gain the amount of weight her pediatrician would like her to gain , going back and forth with the label of "failure to thrive" and being a mom , that sentence just breaks my heart. I do all I can to keep them fed well , eat healthy etc. I have sought out nutritionists advice as well as the pediatricians advice and I'm just extremely baffled and lost as to what they suggest I do... which is feed her chicken nuggets , hotdogs etc. Etc. And none have suggested a calorie intake on her part .I feel IF I fed HER that I to would have to feed my other children the same way and In turn be setting up ALL my children for other weight and health issues , so for me that is NOT the option. I already span out her meals to about four or five a day (small) with nuts good fats, cheese full fat milk, and even buy the high calorie shakes for kids ....so I'm here in hopes yall can give me some advice on what I need the opposite of , healthy HIGH calorie food. She fills up fast so I'm thinking something small like a bar, or cookie I can make at home or even shakes you may have stumbled upon during your journeys.

dakotababy

That is a good idea, keep cookies - some high calorie, some regular for the other children. Perhaps buy those "booster" meal replacement shakes. There are some regular ones, and some higher calorie ones. I guess its about finding something all the children can enjoy but find an alternative that has more calories in it....if calories are what she needs.

rosebette

I had this issue with my older child, who was very thin and sickly until about age 6 or 7. I put him on whole milk and my other children who were normal weight (one was a little plump) on 1%. He eventually grew out of the thin stage, and became a normal size kid. I'd also give him carnation instant breakfast made with whole milk with his breakfast, which was the only meal he ate well at. He also liked scrambled eggs, which I would make with real butter.

diamonddaveperry

what they suggest I do... which is feed her chicken nuggets , hotdogs etc.

Wow. I can't believe any respectable doctor or nutritionist would recommend feeding any child hot dogs and chicken nuggets*. I think you need a new doctor or nutritionist. I'm neither, but I would have to think that if she's meeting developmental goals for her age, what does her weight matter? Some kids are just skinny.

Anyway, I'd get a better opinion from another group of professionals. And you're right, it seems like a daily calorie minimum, in addition to some healthy meal plans would be a part of what they recommend.

*not judging...my kids eat hot dogs and chicken nuggets sometimes

MyLovesMyLife

Kids are resilient. My 3 yo is tiny too never given the label failure to thrive but in the bottom 13% for her age and probably worst now since time has passed and she still weighs the same. Mostly she just eats breakfast and picks at the other meals so we give her waffles with nutella a big spoon on 3 waffles. Not the best but calorie dense. When we pick up fast food she does love her chicken nuggets and I don't feel bad about it bc at least she's eating. She still loves her fruits and veggies but not many calories there.
One thing you might add is v8 juice with the 1 serving of fruits and veggies. In our house that my daughters "special" drink. She has it all the time to help with calories and healthy foods intake. Her ped recommended it.

jamiesillimandunn

Thanks for the responses some of those I do ...so I'm glad to see I'm going the right route, she is still whole everything , but good idea on regular for the other two and higher cal for just the one !! She now gets pediasure but I did just pick up the carnation tonight so I will be putting that in her milk as well. Glad I'm not alone , I tell ya those dr.s really through you under the bus with this stuff I have never felt so helpless in a situation .

sherrirb

I have a friend who's first daughter was as you describe your 3 year old. They went back and forth since she was about a year old between the pediatrician, specialists, nutritionists, etc. They labeled her also as "failure to thrive".

They ran blood tests and poked and prodded that poor child.

You know what.... she's just PETIT! My friend decided that she wasn't going to listen to what the doctors say. Her daughter eats healthy and she eats junk when everyone is allowed. They don't treat her any different than anyone else in the family.

She is now 5 years old. They have a set of 2 year old twins that are almost as big as her now. Her 4 year old brother passed her in size a year ago. She is not malnourished, she is just small. That is how God created her. And let me tell you, that girl is thriving just fine! Cute and smart to boot!

Unless your daughter is malnourished, perhaps she is just going to be petit as well. People come in all sizes and shapes, tall and Short, wide and thin. If she is active and otherwise healthy and she shows normal mental capacities for her age, then I don't see anything wrong.

These are just things to consider.

chriscolh

I know your pain. My boys have always been in the lower end of the weight percentile charts (think 10% or less!) and I constantly got flack from my pediatricians to help them gain weight. My favorite pediatrician was the one who said "Do they poop regularly? Do they pee regularly? Are they active and healthy?" The answer was always yes. Then he told me "Then don't worry about it."

That being said, my 9 year old did get to a point where he really did need to put some weight on. (Wish I could give him 10 pounds off my hips!) We worked really hard to "power-pack" his food. We did things like drizzling olive oil over his pasta before we put sauce on it. We would mix cream into his milk. And cheese. Cheese on everything! I make a homemade caramel sauce for him to dip his apples into. He loves pistachios, so I would buy them bag after bag. We tried force feeding him once, and it ended with us all being in tears - so don't do that! It is so hard to find high calorie, healthy snacks that he will eat. That sweet boy - his favorite things are steamed shrimp and watermelon. How can a kid gain weight on that???? We just had to be sneaky with the fats.

I know your problem. It is so hard to feed a child who just doesn't have an appetite. I wish you lots of patience :-)

jamiesillimandunn

thank you all this all helps, I have been a wreck over this for a couple yrs. Back and forth ...one visit she is fine then she grows an inch or two and they are ready to start treatments and diagnosis and whatever ...they have tested her for all kinds of stuff and I finally put and end to it . She just couldn't take the amount of blood work they were asking for ...WHICH was A LOT . they found nothing wrong with her thyroid or anything . Being she is the middle child I honestly began wondering if I wasn't doing enough for her , but that just goes to show you how far into this I have gotten myself . Overall she is an athletic kid loves to play , run dance, and is very smart so other than her weight she is right where I believe she should be .

19TaraLynn84

At my daughter's last check-up, I was told if she didn't put on a good amount of weight, they would want to put her on something to help her gain. Not gonna happen! She is perfectly healthy. The only complaint they have is that she's underweight for her age. So what? I have one child who is a little bigger than average, one who is tall for his age, one who has finally grown to average, and my little girl who they say is too small. All children are different. That's just the way it is. You know what you are feeding your child and you know if she is getting all the nutrients she needs. You would know if her weight was adversely affecting her because she would sit around and sleep instead of running around and playing. Try not to stress over it too much.

Edited because I forgot to add my suggestions! Anyway, pb&j sandwiches are great for kids. Or substitute honey for the jelly. You can add cheese to a lot of foods. You can buy chocolate or strawberry powder with little to no sugar in it to add to milk. Just a few suggestions off the top of my head.

rayvynn5374

What are her favorite foods? If she like mac and cheese sneak baby food squished squash or similar colors into it. Spaghetti well red will hide almost anything. Add a few extra calories that way to just her portions. Don't fall into hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Don't cater to just her favorites. Is she more high energy than her siblings? She may need a few more calories than them. Good luck and hey I hear kids LOVE chocolate milk.

shapefitter

It is common knowledge, as any mother will tell you, is that they don't eat at that age...my mother was desperate, and fed me sweets and buiscuits, so by the time I was five and a half, I had lost all my milk teeth. Then, my grandmother took over my diet, and by the time I was eight, I was the fattest kid at school. It was only, when my grandmother past away, at age thirteen, that I finally became a healthy size. Unfortunately, because I had spent the early years, overweight and obese (I was size 44 at age nine), I realized that I had to work twice as hard to keep the weight off, and so I have until now. If only my mother hadn't panicked...

carla113

My kids are young too (6 & 4), and though both are very healthy and at average weights for their age now, they were both on the small side for a long time. Some things that I've done in the past to help them get additional calories (when they were ready to eat):

1. Gogurt is a wonderful thing at our house. Though it does have a lot of sugar, it's still yogurt and at least not candy. It's something they have with every breakfast.
2. Peanut butter. Put it on bread. Put it on apples. Give them a spoonful before bed. (If she has allergies, then this won't work.)
3. Meat. My husband and I never shied away from giving our kids the good, solid foods we were eating. When we have things like steak, we make sure they eat those things too. Just cut them up in tiny bites. Also, when we have tacos, we made taco bowls for the kids, which included a mixture of the ground beef, refried beans and cheese. Very dense, protein rich meal.

This may be helpful, and it may not, but I thought I'd give my two cents. Good luck!

GertrudeHorse

You could try those drinks like Ensure or Fortisip. They're nutritious and high calories (they are used as pre-surgery food and sometimes are given to anorexics when refeeding) so one per day might make a world of difference. I doubt your other kids would be jealous especially if you framed it as a medical drink.

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

My heart goes out to you. I know how truly stressful this can be. I also know that it's possible your pediatrician alarms you and you may feel desperate enough to come here for help instead of getting better medical advice.

If you child is staying on track with weight gain according to their particular curve this is good news. Please ask for help from nurses, dietitians, and doctors instead of from here. If you think there is more going on, insist on metabolic or genetic testing and blood tests to rule out a deficiency.

You know what to feed your children, and what you described is sound. It may only make you worry more or feel more confused to ask for help here. Hugs!

Sunbrooke

My grandma said she was like this as a child. She drank buttermilk. Nuts are great high calorie foods, but I know they kill my appetite. I found a recipe for banana oat cookies on here. They have about 50 calories per tablespoon and are all natural. I add chocolate chips though. I think the thread was called "three ingredient cookies".

My son loved salmon when he was little and still does. He also likes kippered herring and smoked oysters. Little kids often don't like meat that is chewy.

Arranna1212

I'd try giving her chocolate milk maybe? It's suppose to be good for you, if you don't drink a ton of it. I don't know what I would give to a kid.. I haven't been blessed with any yet xD But that's what I'd try if you don't already. But like other people said, maybe she is just going to be petite and that's okay. There was a girl in my school that started hormone shots because she was small... They didn't seem to do anything until suddenly she started growing and she's 6 foot now and she regrets the shots. Pretty much, if your kid isn't starving and she is being fed healthy meals then she is okay.

TylerAvenger

Ask your pediatrician about Pediasure milk.

shapefitter

Oh, and another thing. That stuff they calculate about how tall you'll be from how heavy you're at birth, is another gimmick. According to calculations, I should be 5'10 or more. I was a big baby, and still am lol, but turned out average for my height at 5'7. Just right for a female.

klyn7788

I'm sure they would've already tested for this, but I have a family member whose child had those same type of issue for many years. She was years later diagnosed with Celiac Disease. I would assume that's been looked at already and seems pretty run of the mill, but this was only a few years back. The family spent a long time and saw a lot of doctors before it was pinpointed because she didn't have any of the normal symptoms. (Other than her body not absorbing any nutrients.) Just a thought in case you haven't gone there yet.

jacksonfivemom

My son was diagnosed failure to thrive and had underlying acid reflux issues. George's Aloe Vera was the only thing to help his acid reflex. He has always had trouble putting on weight, but he was able to gain once the acid reflux was taken care of. We supplement his meals with ViSalus shakes. They are superior to other shakes because they are non GMO, with less than 1 gram of sugar and are a complete form of nutrition. I use the shakes myself as meal replacement and have lost 68 pounds. You can also request a referral to the endocrinologist for your daughter. We took my son, and they did a bone scan in his wrist area to determine if his bone growth matched his chronological age. Listen to your gut instinct and don't feed her the garbage food just because it's high in calories - you could end up solving one problem while creating another, health wise. Best wishes!

Galatea_Stone

My 8 year old was bottom 1-5% from ages 0-4. I understand what you're going through.

All I can say is give her nutritious foods. Give her foods that are calorie dense, and just let nature determine what size she will be. I know with my daughter, she really doesn't have a lot of fat on her body because she was premature and never caught up. But at age 8, she's in the 25th percentile (still small but healthy), runs 5Ks with her dad, is very strong and very athletic. She managed to catch up beginning about age 5.

Galatea_Stone

what they suggest I do... which is feed her chicken nuggets , hotdogs etc.

Wow. I can't believe any respectable doctor or nutritionist would recommend feeding any child hot dogs and chicken nuggets*. I think you need a new doctor or nutritionist. I'm neither, but I would have to think that if she's meeting developmental goals for her age, what does her weight matter? Some kids are just skinny.

Anyway, I'd get a better opinion from another group of professionals. And you're right, it seems like a daily calorie minimum, in addition to some healthy meal plans would be a part of what they recommend.

*not judging...my kids eat hot dogs and chicken nuggets sometimes

Both a well-renowned doctor in DC and another highly regarded specialist in Tokyo recommended hot dogs and chicken nuggets to add weight to my daughter. I fed them to her. Food isn't evil. Hot dogs and chicken nuggets just happen to have a high calorie profile.

hstoblish

Ugh - I think we're headed down this same path with my 1 1/2 year old... since she started walked and climbing everything in sight it's like we can't pack enough calories to keep up, even though she's been known to sit down and eat a whole chicken breast in one sitting. She's gone from 50th percentile to 25th, BUT just seeing her buzz around the doctor's office was enough to convince the doctor that she's ok.

So, my suggestions... For one, I would get a second opinion from another doctor. If your daughter has maintained the same percentile, and is generally bright and active, I'd be quite surprised if a second doctor also claimed she wasn't thriving. Additionally, I'd keep a food journal for your kid, just so you can show the doctors that she is eating.

And finally, as someone who didn't weigh more than 100 pounds before I turned 20, I'll add that there are oh so many opportunities for body issues to crop up when you're teeny. There were rumours in high school that I was anorexic and even my girlfriends refused to tell me their size because they saw me picking up size 0 jeans. Then I hit my twenties, stopped playing soccer and started gaining because I didn't know how to manage food intake properly. I cannot tell you how happy I was to get the freshman 15. Unfortunately I turned it into far more. Even now that I'm reaching my goal weight, which is mid-BMI, I'm terrified that people will think I have an eating disorder if I go much further, even though I look far from underweight. Anyways, all this is to say that being careful with how you treat your daughter's weight is really important. Try to leave any of your own body issues at the door when you discuss it, even though she's only 3. Comments like "Oh she's so lucky she didn't get my metabolism!" "Or she obviously didn't get that from me!" seem harmless, but they're not.

Good luck! Your family sounds lovely and if I was asked to bet, I'd say that she's probably just a naturally petite person, but I'm no doctor.

thisisforme43

I have been through this with my now 14 and 17 year olds. The specialist told us to use oatmeal for breakfast and add butter and brown sugar or peanut butter. Carnation milk was also suggested and used. Our kids have always ate what we ate. We just added healthy fats and cheese to their servings. They also have always drank whole milk.

happysummerrunner

A dietician could have given you a calorie intake goal but maybe choose not to because ... it might not be a realistic goal to get a child to eat the same caloric intake everyday- appetites change! And you don't want to become obsessed with getting the calories in and force feed.

So instead they suggested you feed her caloric-dense foods. If she's having trouble eating high volume of foods then this is a good suggestion. You could go to another dietician and ask them to compute caloric intake- but also keep in mind it will continue to change over time as she ages.

If their suggestion isn't working for you- go back and get a new plan! Get the help you need.

Edit: also wanted to add it sounds like you're doing a great job!

MissJay75

My daughter (now 6) fell off the bottom of the weight charts and was also diagnosed failure to thrive at 18 months.

She has been under the care of a pediatrician, nutritionist, and physical therapist, and I can tell you what works for us.
We have replaced her milk with ensure (not pediasure). She loves it, thinks it's chocolate milk. Half a serving (4 ounces) has 125 calories, plus important protein and vitamins so I feel like I can be more relaxed about other things she eats. Compare that with 75 calories in 4 ounces of whole milk. We also give her some about half an hour before bed, for a total of 500 calories.

When she was ages 2-3 we aimed for (but are not militant about 1000 calories a day, from 3-5 about 1100 calories, and now around 1200 calories. She is tall for her age and very slender, but she gains weight slowly but regularly. Let me know if you have any questions, I'd be glad to go into more details.

gigglesinthesun

What are her favorite foods? If she like mac and cheese sneak baby food squished squash or similar colors into it. Spaghetti well red will hide almost anything. Add a few extra calories that way to just her portions. Don't fall into hot dogs and chicken nuggets. Don't cater to just her favorites. Is she more high energy than her siblings? She may need a few more calories than them. Good luck and hey I hear kids LOVE chocolate milk.

squished squash??? How is that adding any meaningful calories to her diet. The dr. will want her to eat at least 500 cals more, so if the kids likes mac and cheese, she needs to add extra cheese or butter.

OP: The thing is if your child had an allergy you wouldn't think about feeding each child the same and I think the same goes for that. I am saying this as a mother of a child that was severely underweight until he was about 8. Since she is the youngest are you able to feed her different to her siblings in the times when they are in pre-school or school?

Don't assume that palettes are truly formed in early childhood, they evolve all the time. What sort of food do you consider healthy? Is that sort of food healthy for your child, considering that she eats smaller portion, she is struggling to gain weight and maintaining it? She needs more calories, more fat, more protein and more carbs. Vegetables are great, but in reality unless its avocado it's not adding any significant calories, especially the quantities most children consume. Her current diet is not healthy for her, her current diet has left her physicians worried. The thing is on here people can say all they want regarding their own and their children's experience with this, but ultimately none of us actually know you or your child and more of us do not have medical degrees or a license to practice.

My advice would be to actually accurate monitor what she is eating when for a few days. See whether she is more of a grazer that snacks all day long or whether she just has a low appetite or whether she is too busy to eat. You can then adjust your response to that by either providing more calorific meals or more calorific snacks, because if all she does is snack then she can't just eat raw carrots, but instead should be snacking of nuts and cheese etc. If she is too busy to eat or forgets then have a routine where she has to sit and eat 5,6,7,8 times a day (depends on your schedule).

Another issue worth mentioning is that protein sates people for a long time, so if she has a little appetite, she could eat 3 cheese cubes and be full for hours. At the same time, if she were to be served carbs she might eat a small bowl full of pasta, but then would be hungry again an hour later thus consuming a larger amount of calories overall. That is not to say that she shouldn't eat protein, it is merely an illustration that balance is important.

In the end, our kids diet is changing all the times. There are toddlers out there that will only eat toast. Eventually they'll grow out of that one. How a kid eats in the different stages of their life does not accurately predict how they eat in adulthood. Don't assume that by not feeding her food like hot dogs and chicken nuggets that this mean she'll be healthy and will never have weight problems in adulthood. The population group with the most weight problems are 50+ and they by all accounts had a relatively healthy childhood without junk food on tap and with fewer cars they walked more.

dirtmagnets

Our trick (for an 8 year old who has very little appetite and rejects most non-dairy proteins due to side effects from a very much necessary anti-epileptic drug) is what we call his "power cookies". We take a basic chocolate chip cookie recipe, replace half of the flour with quinoa flour and often use whole wheat flour for the other half, replace most of the butter with pureed white beans, and add peanut butter and oatmeal. About 100 calories/cookie, very protein dense. All of our boys love them, including the teenager who can't be convinced that he doesn't hate beans, quinoa, and oatmeal.

Prud3nc3

I've been told the same in the past about my son.
But ask yourself this: Does my child look unhappy and malnourished?
I'm sure if she is hungry she will eat.
Just encourage a good decent breakfast with oats or scrambled eggs... a half glass of milk in-between snacks n meals, which I'm sure the other girls wont be too fussed about. Quinoa in rissoles or burger patties are good.
If they complain say sorry the doctor said only ____ is to have it.
Little things add up! its a gradual gain you want.
Stay strong, Ur a great Mum!

jamiesillimandunn

Thank you all for the great advice and comments . For anyone who misunderstood . I'm on here today mainly to get some ideas on calorie dense yet healthier alternatives such as high calorie cookie or even homemade bars I can sneak into her daily diet and feel good about it . SHE has been seen by professionals but not through a second opinion so that will be the next step ...funny thing is someone mentioned acid reflux and yes she had TERRIBLE acid reflux when born ...she couldn't keep anything down ...I myself have nothing against hotdogs chicken nuggets , but on a regular basis , I TRUELY could not commit to that with a good heart . I happened to track her calories for only one week and she averaged 1100 everyday . Which was actually more than o assumed she was getting I've come to realize that their are many other underlying conditions such as some mentioned in this thread I may have to consider having her tested for ...but for now we have three months to see if she CAN GAIN on a regular yet calorie dense diet which is hard with her ....so keep the ideas coming .....pediasure, nut nut butters , cheese are all part of her diet now but love the idea of sneaking olive oil on pasta and the sneaky butter and cheese on everything lol. And thank you for mentioning the calorie dense oatmeal cookies . They seem small and will probably work , I have a special jelly calorie dense anyway she loves instead of made with pectin and sugar it is made with natural honey . I'll be sure to update y'all after her checkup !