Advice for Stopping Binge Planning?

ByDarwinsBeard

So, I've been dieting for a year and three months (and successfully losing some weight), but ~two months ago I started binging on peanut butter and fiber one bars. I think I have binged a total of 5 times. I even purged once thinking that it would shock/repulse me enough to stop binging, but it was a surprisingly easy and calm experience. It's been 2 weeks since I last binged. I have since thrown away all of the peanut butter in my apartment and I refuse to buy more.

However, I can't stop thinking about it and I'm making plans to binge on it when I'm home visiting family (where I know there will be some in the house). I feel very out of control when I'm binging and disappointed in myself afterwards, but at the same time I really enjoy the taste of peanut butter.

Normally, I have 1 Fiber One bar, 1 banana, and a k-cup latte for breakfast and feel satisfied until lunch. Last time I was home, I nearly finished an entire jumbo size jar of Jif in a single morning. I managed to coat 3 bananas, an apple, a sleeve of ritz crackers, a couple of girl scout cookies, two slices of bread, some pecans, and three fiber one bars with peanut butter for one breakfast. I also was eating plain peanut butter off of a spoon during that time. My stomach felt mildly upset afterwards, but I had a small lunch and a huge dinner later that night with no problem (other than the shame and disappointment that I felt).

Now that I have stopped buying peanut butter for myself, I keep obsessing over when I will get to have it next. I keep thinking of eating out for special occasions where I can "reward" myself with peanut butter or making plans to binge when I'm home again. It's to the point where I will waste a half-hour on google image search or tumblr or restaurant websites just staring at pictures of food with peanut butter and plan binges.

The weirdest part of all this is that I don't know where this obsession with peanut butter came from. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a few times a week over most of 2012 and early 2013, but I never put peanut butter on fruit or cookies, and I definitely never felt the need to eat it directly from the jar on a spoon. Three jars of nut butter (1 pb, 1 reduced fat pb, and 1 almond butter) sat in my cupboard for months in my apartment before this started happening.

I'm afraid my desire for peanut butter is going to override my willpower shortly. I'm afraid I will create a "good reason" that I should buy peanut butter at the store and end up binging away all of the work I've done.

How do you deal with your problem foods that make you want to binge? How can I stop wasting my time planning binges? How can I stop overeating when I'm home?