Feeling really guilty
tunastamper
Posts: 12
I decided to make today this week's cheat day. My dad and I stopped at this old family-owned Mexican place. I had three tacos with shredded beef, some beans, and rice. Also had a 170-calorie soda. Then for dinner I had one and a half shredded beef burritos. I feel like I went way overboard and I feel terrible about it. The tacos and burritos were pretty small but I still feel guilty. All I had for breakfast was some cereal, so that helps, but I'm pretty sure I went well over my limit. And because I don't know where the ingredients are from I really have no way to estimate how much was actually in my food.
How do you deal with this? The guilt, I mean? I feel really, really bad. I started changing my diet and exercising last week and I already screwed up.
How do you deal with this? The guilt, I mean? I feel really, really bad. I started changing my diet and exercising last week and I already screwed up.
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Replies
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Hi Hun , I'm Casey don't feel bad or guilty just take it as lesson learnt and Denver tomorrow is another day, so lift your spirits up an keep looking an focusing on the change you are wanting
every one fails at times but the people that pick them self back up have the determination to succeed 0 -
So you fell off the wagon? We all do it from time to time. No harm done , just get back on the wagon and continue. The biggest thing is not to get discouraged and quit. We all are rooting for you ...Happy Days ahead!! LOL!!0
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Its not about perfection its about persistence! Don't worry just stay on track and you'll be fine! Its not about what your weight will be today or tomorrow its about the change that happens over a year! focus on your successes and move on from the setbacks:flowerforyou: 0
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Been there... actually last weekend was one of those times. The important thing is you don't let it knock you off track. Get back on the wagon and do better tomorrow. If I over-do it I try to eat a little less the next day (and make healthier choices) and work it out hard in the gym. But seriously, don't stress about it. What's done is done. Just remember how you feel so next time you get in this situation you think twice. You've been at this a week, so give yourself a little more time to get in your groove.0
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Thank you for the reassurance, everyone. Just feeling kind of down because I was doing so well. But I think I'll be all right. I've already got my meals for tomorrow planned, a bunch of light foods, so hopefully I'll get back on track soon enough. On the bright side, I went out and bought some athletic shoes today and a lock for my bike so I can take it back to school with me. 0
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You actually didn't do so bad! Just jump back on track love
I don't do well with cheat days, what ended up happening for me was that I would binge on my cheat day which would ruin everything I worked for that week. Also my cheat days quickly turned into cheat weeks since I would lose motivation and postpone eating healthy and working out until the following Monday where I would in theory start fresh. But by then, I would lose motivation which is really silly looking back.
Hate to quote Miley on this one but, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those days, nobody's perfect.
It's a process and its tough but I'm learning that a new day is literally a new day, clean slate. One day is not going to ruin it, but one day can help me one step closer to my goal0 -
As the others have said, just keep going and try not to feel guilty. Real life happens! Use it as a learning opportunity.
I signed up on Saturday and was all set for a "good" beginning as my fiance is away for the week and I had planned a quiet weekend of healthy eating and catching up on jobs around the house. Then a friend who is moving away soon invited me out for a meal, and I didn't want to pass that up as it will be the last time I see her until June. I made my usual choices at the restaurant and yes I drank too much wine, but I still tracked everything as I thought it would be a good opportunity to see how it all added up. I felt a little annoyed with myself for sabotaging myself so soon, but I had a good time, saw my friend and next time I go out for a meal or drinks I'll be better informed.
Good luck in your journey x0 -
..... cheat day.
this is your issue, don't look on it as a cheat day. One day isn't going to derail your progress, as you're concerned net off a bit each day for the next three or four days and it's not an issue.
Words are important "cheat" isn't a useful one in tis context.0 -
he problem is you feel guilty, don't. We are all human and make mistakes. Just get back on that horse and keep trying.0
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Guilt is a waste of time, the foods happened, its over.
Doesn't sound all that bad to me anyway.
I was hungry today, I swam, I ate an entire pizza (approx. 850cals) factored it into my day.
What the whooo.
Maybe you could work on your poor thinking rather than worrying about the food - I don't mean that in a bad way, just work on being nicer to yourself.0 -
Everybody had lapses now and then it's what makes us human , just start afresh and make today a good day0
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If you consciously decided this was a cheat day, then how can you consider that you fell off the wagon or have something to feel guilty about? Unless you feel guilty that you allowed yourself a cheat day? If that is the case, then just don't do that. Maybe easier said than done, I don't know, because I don't have cheat days. But if I consciously decided that I'm going to eat X, Y, or Z, then I'm sure as heck not going to feel guilty about it!0
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so what you're saying is ....
you got to spend some quality time with your dad and share a meal??? must have been a very enjoyable evening.. :bigsmile: :drinker:0 -
No big deal, tomorrow is a new day. What's most important is how you let making a mistake affect you. Part of life is making mistakes and being able to move on. So, no quitting over it, just say I'm going to do better tomorrow. I can do this and I can accept that I will make mistakes and I'll just do better tomorrow. You got this!0
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Know what you are feeling. I went away for the weekend and had no access to MFP. I was scared of going over my calories, which I'm sure I did. I felt guilty when I ate, even though I passed on desserts and the like. It was the first time I was unable to log before I ate. Now that I am back, and I can log again, I am feeling much better about it. Just have to start again and continue with better choices. Every day is a new day, and its what we make of them that matter. Keep up the hard work, it is worth it!0
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Apart from the soda, it sounds like a pretty nice meal !0
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The loudest part of your post to me, OP, is this feeling of "guilt." You may want to check in with yourself and your expectations of weight loss, how you view yourself, what you assume behavior change must look like, and your internally-held sense of punishment. Many heavy people have internalized messages about shame, and we can allow the punishing voice inside our heads to drown out both hope AND reason. It's best to check in with those inner messages early on and find a kinder way to handle the many hiccups that will accompany any behavior change efforts.
To me, here's a reasonable approach to your perhaps unintentional calorie splurge. Account for it. Document it in your food tracker, knowing that you can't be precise about what you ate. Resist the urge to low-ball your numbers--you'll find a wide range of calories and macros in the many "burrito" entries on MFP. If you knew your burritos were pretty cheesy, or smothered with guac and sour cream, do your best to account for those calories and fats. Put it all in your tracker.
And do it again the next day.
Behavior change is an ongoing process, and it starts with choosing which singular behavior you're going to change and a means to document that behavior. One of the easiest entry points for behavior change tracking here on MFP is dutiful use of the food tracker. Whatever you eat, however you feel about what you ate, document it. Every single day.
Over time, you'll find yourself more aware of your food choices BEFORE you eat. You may even start testing out what you'd like to eat by putting it into the tracker FIRST, and go from there.
But be a little gentler with yourself. Be firm in your commitment to track your food, and more realistic in your expectations of your behavior change. Stick to tracking as your first step, and you will likely add in additional changes as you go along.
Hang in there.0 -
Gah! Hate to be a thread killer!
So, how are you doing TODAY, OP?
I hope you're feeling strong about your plan and greeting today as a fresh opportunity.0 -
Aw. Real normal life is about sensible eating peppered with treats and social events - this was one of them.
Most of us have had to learn not to hide from these things otherwise it's a diet not a lifestyle change. The day after is what counts, that is getting straight back to normal eating, no need to overcompensate etc, just resume the norm.0 -
Take a calendar and mark how many days you eat below your maintenance.
then mark how many cheat days.
If the cheat days, the ones you eat well above maintenance, are more than the low days....
You get my point.
BTW the negative feelings you have towards food can actually alter the way your body processes it.
If you decide to have a "cheat day" enjoy it!
I found that most of my whooshes happened the day after a cheat meal!
;D0 -
Aw, I know how you feel. But if you recognize that it is ok and you can still continue on this journey then you won't quit. For several months, I would have a cheat day and end up having a cheat week. Now I do not feel as guilty about what I eat even if I do fall off the wagon so it usually just a cheat meal or a cheat snack. Usually they are not even as bad as I would think they would be either.0
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Not sure if this helps you but I know exactly how you feel.
I had my refeed day last saturday. I'm slowly reversing out of my diet right now so my metabolism sits at roughly 1800 calories. For the last refeed day I estimated about 2500 calories which was my TDEE before I started to cut. However, I had a huge binge that day and instead of eating 2500 calories, which is 700 more than average, I ate almost 5000 haha!
I felt so frickin' guilty the next couple of days but the weight peals of again pretty quickly (mostly water weight). Right now I'm barely above my lowest weigh-in and that was by far the craziest binge I ever had. So fret not, failure is natural and everything will be cool again after a day or two! ;D0 -
Hey there! I have changed my diet and exercise over a year ago!
I have really great weeks, and not so great weeks! I have spent a lot of money on a nutritionist and one of the things he mentioned is don't call it a 'cheat' day. That implies that you are doing something bad ... and you actually are doing something good for your body! Call it a treat day Also, if you are starting a new program, I would suggest trying to go 14-21 days without a cheat to really get yourself in the routine of clean eating and feeling so great that you wont want to go overboard when you allow yourself the treat! Good luck!! 0 -
nicely written, glad you shared this, it could be helpful to so many of us.The loudest part of your post to me, OP, is this feeling of "guilt." You may want to check in with yourself and your expectations of weight loss, how you view yourself, what you assume behavior change must look like, and your internally-held sense of punishment. Many heavy people have internalized messages about shame, and we can allow the punishing voice inside our heads to drown out both hope AND reason. It's best to check in with those inner messages early on and find a kinder way to handle the many hiccups that will accompany any behavior change efforts.
To me, here's a reasonable approach to your perhaps unintentional calorie splurge. Account for it. Document it in your food tracker, knowing that you can't be precise about what you ate. Resist the urge to low-ball your numbers--you'll find a wide range of calories and macros in the many "burrito" entries on MFP. If you knew your burritos were pretty cheesy, or smothered with guac and sour cream, do your best to account for those calories and fats. Put it all in your tracker.
And do it again the next day.
Behavior change is an ongoing process, and it starts with choosing which singular behavior you're going to change and a means to document that behavior. One of the easiest entry points for behavior change tracking here on MFP is dutiful use of the food tracker. Whatever you eat, however you feel about what you ate, document it. Every single day.
Over time, you'll find yourself more aware of your food choices BEFORE you eat. You may even start testing out what you'd like to eat by putting it into the tracker FIRST, and go from there.
But be a little gentler with yourself. Be firm in your commitment to track your food, and more realistic in your expectations of your behavior change. Stick to tracking as your first step, and you will likely add in additional changes as you go along.
Hang in there.
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Hi Hun,
Don't panic, you haven't failed, let yourself down, screwed up or even gone off the rails.... You've only just started on your journey and that means everything is a learning curve....
So you ate a bit more than your calorific allowance, but tomorrow is another day, therefore counteract today's over eat, by eating less tomorrow.... People put way too much emphasis on the "perfect calorie balance" and then panic when their numbers don't add up....
Take it from someone who has lost 62kg (133lb) that calories are not an exact science, they are just numbers that give us an indication or how much nutrition we are putting in our faces, sometimes my calories are way under and I gain a weight, and other times I can eat too many calories and lose weight.... Your body is a machine, but it is not a perfect machine, your calorific usage with be determined by hormone levels, time of day, water intake and other environmental factors.
Just chalk this down to experience, you cannot fail at weight loss as long as you're still trying, the only time your weight loss endeavor will fail, is when you quit trying....
xXx0 -
Two things:
It seems that you know not to let one day of off-plan eating derail your efforts, but a while ago I read an analogy for this situation that really stuck with me. It was about a flat tire. If you got a flat tire on your car, you wouldn't say "what the heck, my ride is ruined anyway" and flat the other three tires. You would fix the flat (I would call AAA) and keep going.
The other thing: The way you eat to lose weight is not hugely different that the way you will eat to maintain. While finding your way to eat right, it's important to also find your way to live your life while eating right.
PS: I'm of the age when the people I love are starting to be taken away from me. I will never again be able to have lunch with my dad, so that part or your post made me smile. That was totally worth going off plan for, IMO.0 -
We learn and grow from every step, whether forward or backward.
Over my life (53 years) I have learned that feeling guilty is only beneficial for about 5 minutes.
It is an emotional flag that helps me recognize I need to do something different and make amends if my poor decision harmed someone else in any way. Beyond that, feeling guilty is unhelpful. And if it insists on persisting I ignore it until it slinks off into a corner and leaves me alone. I forgive myself, rededicate myself, and keep going.0 -
Don't feel bad I had a cheat day that lasted 2 weeks, main thing is you get back on track. You really shouldn't feel guilty after all it is only a diet / lifestyle change and these things don't happen overnight, it took a while to get into the habit of eating unhealthily so it will take a while to get into the habit of changing that :-)0
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