Looking for friends who I can relate to: EDNOS

icravecontrol

I don't want to hear anything negative about this, only from people who understand.

All I want is people in similar situations who can relate to me. People who can support and not judge my eating habits and past struggles with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). I know it's bad, but I do like to do short fasts and have a significant amount of weight left to lose (60 more lbs), and I just need to find support while doing so. I cycle continuously between bad habits and healthy habits.

I have lots of body fat to lose, so please do not judge the way I decide to do this.

All Im asking for is for other like-minded people to add as friends.

And yes, I'm seeking help on my issues, so I don't need lectures.. thanks though if youre concerned.

MillyPoo125

I can relate! That profile pic is not you though right? Because that body does not have 60 lbs to lose lol

Graelwyn75

I used to have anorexia severely when I was 18 (5'11 and 72Ibs... yes, you heard that right) and have struggled to find a balance ever since. I still have episodes of bulimia, unfortunately, but they are less and less and my focus now is on being fit and healthy, and able to keep up my activity level. I do not fast, although I used to do intermittent fasting. I eat plenty of healthy food (2000-2800 calories a day) and am pretty much close to where I wish to be, weight wise. My bodyfat is 14%, so I could perhaps be some sort of inspiration there. I will not judge, though obviously, I encourage all my friends to try and net a healthy amount for their own sakes, and do find it difficult if someone is eating a drastically low amount. Feel free to add me, if you wish and I will do my best to offer support.

icravecontrol

I can relate! That profile pic is not you though right? Because that body does not have 60 lbs to lose lol

lol no, that is definitely not me! It's just a picture of what I wish I looked like! aha.

icravecontrol

I used to have anorexia severely when I was 18 (5'11 and 72Ibs... yes, you heard that right) and have struggled to find a balance ever since. I still have episodes of bulimia, unfortunately, but they are less and less and my focus now is on being fit and healthy, and able to keep up my activity level. I do not fast, although I used to do intermittent fasting. I eat plenty of healthy food (2000-2800 calories a day) and am pretty much close to where I wish to be, weight wise. My bodyfat is 14%, so I could perhaps be some sort of inspiration there. I will not judge, though obviously, I encourage all my friends to try and net a healthy amount for their own sakes, and do find it difficult if someone is eating a drastically low amount. Feel free to add me, if you wish and I will do my best to offer support.

Yeah. I do eat plenty the majority of the time, I also lift heavy and want to be fit. Then there's the side of me that still struggles and is sick of being so overweight that the thoughts come back. Despite striving for nutrition and fitness rather than unhealthy ideals, I do struggle with periodic relapses in my bulimia from the past. I just want friends who won't judge, who won't criticize my diary, and who know what it's like to be in this situation.. that's all. I have another account where there's so much pressure that they don't know about my eating disorder history and I find it really hard to be myself and meet people who understand. On this account Im WAY more anonymous, so I'd rather be ME and find people who relate instead of having to pretend to be always into perfect nutrition, when the truth is I DO struggle with bulimia and restricting thoughts/behaviors.

Id love to be friends if you'd like to be.

icravecontrol

anyone else?

Divashrink1982

I have a history of EDNOS as well. I've vacillated between being so meticulous about what I eat and obsessive about eating and weight to wanting so badly to break out of that and not weighing myself for years. I have never been able to find a place of moderation. That's what I'm trying to do now. I also have about 60 lbs to lose before being at a healthy weight, though that isn't necessarily my first goal at this time - I'd like, ideally, to lose 35 lbs before trying to get pregnant again. I have lost 5.5 since mid-February, which is the first time in my life that I've had a healthy weight loss and attempting moderation. Feel free to friend me if you'd like!

fat0buster

Me too! I only have about 10 pounds to lose, but I will often severely restrict for a few days, and then have a blow-out binge, sometimes lasting about two days. Because my binges would hugely outweigh my fasts, I gain weight really quickly, which cases me to 'panic' and fast to compensate. And so the cycle repeats. Much to my horror, i recently started purging as a more effective way of keeping my weight down, but have decided to really commit to end this guilt/shame/diet/binge/purge cycle. It's no fun at all! So i'm giving myself permission to eat whenever i want, as long as i'm calm when i'm eating (as I'm sure you know, the binges are stressful, fast-paced things!). And above all, i won't let myself purge, even if i feel like i've overeaten. Hopefully the combination of the 'un-restricted' mentality, and focusing on the nutritional value of what I'm feeding my body with will help to end the trauma!

I know there are heaps of people out there suffering the same. Relax, take your time, find support and smile! X

pearlyisblue

I'm also looking for like minded people" to add as friends<3...add?

39laurita39

I can relate! Added you I've had EDNOS for 3 years & lost 55 pounds not eating that much... I even used to record my restricted intakes last summer. Luckily i know better now, started weight-lifting last summer and now i eat so much more & have strong muscles hehe didn't even use to exercise apart from powerwalks because of lack of energy.. Anyway am still not happy with my weight (im at 110 i have to lose the last 15 lbs) so i still struggle with my eating habits... I'd skip meals and sometimes even binge so its a never ending cicle of purging & going to the gym for hours. I know how unhealthy that is & i've been working on it it only happens twice a month now but u know those days when u just had a super awesome workout your stomach is looking super flat that you cant just bring yourself to eat? Because you just feel too guilty about messing ur progress your hunger disappears.. Thats been hard hope some of you can relate xx

eah95

I can relate! Added you I've had EDNOS for 3 years & lost 55 pounds not eating that much... I even used to record my restricted intakes last summer. Luckily i know better now, started weight-lifting last summer and now i eat so much more & have strong muscles hehe didn't even use to exercise apart from powerwalks because of lack of energy.. Anyway am still not happy with my weight (im at 110 i have to lose the last 15 lbs) so i still struggle with my eating habits... I'd skip meals and sometimes even binge so its a never ending cicle of purging & going to the gym for hours. I know how unhealthy that is & i've been working on it it only happens twice a month now but u know those days when u just had a super awesome workout your stomach is looking super flat that you cant just bring yourself to eat? Because you just feel too guilty about messing ur progress your hunger disappears.. Thats been hard hope some of you can relate xx

If you are at 110, I highly doubt you need to lose 15 pounds unless you have an EXTREMELY small frame. I can definitely sympathize though. I remember feeling incredibly fat when I hit 110 after being underweight previously. Now though, I look back at those pictures and wish I looked like that again. Be gentle with yourself, and good luck.

Soapfan777

ICraveControl,

First of all, this site is for all like-minded people which are those who want to achieve a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, you have come to the correct place. Falling off of the bandwagon should be my middle name. Falling off of the wagon from time to time is a part of achieving a healthy lifestyle because it’s human nature to backslide once in a while in terms of weight loss. It is very challenging to achieve a healthy lifestyle but the key is to stick to it. If you mess up one day write it off and start over fresh the next day. I hope you are not trying to overwhelm yourself but instead start with small baby steps. Slow and steady wins!

eah95

I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I've been struggling with food for over two years now. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety--the meds they gave me made me feel sick and fatigued at first, so I had no appetite and slept through meals a lot of the time. I lost about ten pounds this way. Then I decided I liked losing weight. It was effortless at the time (I couldn't eat much without my stomach hurting anyway), and it was something I could like about myself at a time when I hated pretty much everything else. I started tracking calories and consciously restricting, even when my appetite began to return. I lost twenty pounds in total and went from 118 to 98 (I'm 5'3). After a while though, I stopped losing weight (my body probably went into starvation mode). I started running, and my appetite increased--I started eating more and gaining some weight back. And I hated it. It wasn't about BEING fat at that point--it was about HAVING fat.

Over the past year and a half, I've gained all of the weight back and then some (I'm now between 125 and 130, and while I don't know what my body fat percentage is, I know it isn't great). During that time, I've gotten disgusted at points and attempted to eat as little as possible--fasting and otherwise restricting while maintaining an active and busy schedule. But it wouldn't last--restricting led to obsession, which led to binging and otherwise overeating at times. My problem now is that I've messed my system up so that I no longer have a natural relationship with food. I don't know when to stop eating. The only way I can control myself is through self-hatred; positive self-talk doesn't work. I can either relax and let go of my concerns, in which case I eat everything in sight all the time, or I can bully myself into eating healthily (or sometimes restricting too much). I've become a yo-yoer, and I hate it. My mother struggles with compulsive overeating and yo-yoing, and I always swore I'd never be like her.

Sometimes I'll go through periods of relatively healthy habits--eating in moderation, running consistently, and strength training a few times a week--but I'm constantly stressed out and busy (I'm overloading on courses, student teaching once a week, working part-time in a preschool, and participating in extracurriculars) and I have trouble finding motivation.

This week, I've been trying to eat as little as possible. It isn't good, but I like the feeling of control. However, last night I found myself eating a serving's worth of cereal out of the box because I was hungry, and looking at/thinking about "forbidden" foods creates an almost physical sensation of craving and internal conflict. I ate within 100 calories of my (healthy weight loss) net goal today and felt really angry about it, even though I know it's ridiculous.

So I guess in short, I can definitely relate to many of your struggles. Sending good thoughts to all of you.

beelee93

I am also in the same boat, I have been trying to eat clean but it seems I have been bingeing more than ever lately. I feel trapped in a box and cant seem to escape.

beelee93

I am also in the same boat, I guess i have EDNOS as its a combination of bulimia and binge eating. I also have a set amount of weight I need to lose but can't seem to win the battle with EDNOS. I hope we can support each other in our journey! x

ForTheLoveOfCheese

Wow, it sounds like you're reading my mind! My experience is pretty identical to what you're going through at the moment, in terms of obsession and inability to just eat like a 'normal' person; eat when you're hungry, until you're not hungry any more, then stop. How simple does that sound? How amazingly easy. But it's not.

I'm consumed by food, thoughts of food, guilt about food, horror at what food does to my body, horror at my body in general. I 'm constantly planning what I'm going to eat, when I'm going to eat, weighing up pros and cons of each meal, beating myself up for eating every meal time, and fighting between logic (you need to eat, it's good for you, you work out a lot so you need fuel) and that voice (other people eat far less than you, you're a greedy pig, how could you eat so much, you have no self-control, if you really wanted to be thinner, you would eat less, how dare you miss your workout today?). It's all-consuming, exhausting, and I'm sick of it.

And yet I feel like it's the only way I can stay on track. I hate that voice, but without it...

SuperstarDJ

Until you cut out the fasting, you will never get your eating, and consequently your weight, under control. Unfortunately you probably won't take this on board and will have to learn the hard way, as most do Fasting is contraindicated in anybody with ED.

I've had anorexia for 20+ years, but started restricting my food when I was 5. I'm also a HCP and have seen so many girls and women go through the cycle that you're going through. When it is suggested to them to cut out restriction and/or fasting, they will often refuse point blank. The weight continues to go up because they wrongly believe that "today will be different: I'll start restricting and never binge again". I had one patient who had been saying this every morning for about 25 years before the penny dropped. She weighted approximately 400lbs before she decided her way wasn't working. Please don't let this happen to you If you keep doing what you are doing, you'll keep getting the same results.

I wish you all the best - you don't deserve this horrible illness; nobody does x

Edited because I hit 'save' too early :-/