but you lose weight so easily...

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an0nemus
an0nemus Posts: 149 Member
in Motivation and Support
I hate hate HATE that comment.

I've been married for almost 20 years now (egads!), and in that time I've mostly been fat/obese. Twice I've been a more normal weight. Once I dropped 75 lbs (gained 60ish), and another time I dropped 30 lbs (gained 40 ish).

NO, I don't lose 'weight' easily.

I go hungry (at times), I force myself to move around, I look wistfully at my favorite foods, I avoid my gateway foods, I don't go to lunch/dinner with dear friends.

I'll tell you what I do easily, I fall back into old habits. I'll sit on the computer all day, I'll go to lunch with my co-workers, I'll lose myself to my gateway foods.

Replies

  • hedean
    hedean Posts: 40 Member
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    Thank you! It IS hard work and some people make it seem like those who have lost weight are the lucky chosen ones. I lost lots of weight once, like you, and I got many comments like "wow I wish I could lose weight like you" or "what's the secret?". That may sound like a compliment but usually the tone suggested that I took some shortcut or something. Never did people say they admired how much discipline I had when it came to eating, or running daily, or drinking only water. Somehow I have fallen back into old habits again also, but I know what it takes to get back. Good support and motivation comes in the form of recognizing the work someone has done to get where they are, not just the present condition.
  • csk0018
    csk0018 Posts: 219 Member
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    I've gotten "it's because you're young" a lot about my weight loss. Umm... I'm 31!!! AND I've busted my butt to lose all this weight!! So I'm losing weight because I'm young and they're not because they're old.... or is it because of that big fat Snickers bar they choose to eat everyday? :grumble:
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    "What's your secret?"

    Trust me, you do not want to know. Few are ever really interested in the changes, sacrifices, patience, TEDIUM, and work that goes into shifting large amounts of fat.
  • an0nemus
    an0nemus Posts: 149 Member
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    "What's your secret?"

    Trust me, you do not want to know. Few are ever really interested in the changes, sacrifices, patience, TEDIUM, and work that goes into shifting large amounts of fat.

    I'm a sarcastic SOB, so that question I answer: "I found 2 drugs....diet and exercise. Who'da thunk it?"
  • Songbirdcw
    Songbirdcw Posts: 320 Member
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    I've gotten "it's because you're young" a lot about my weight loss. Umm... I'm 31!!! AND I've busted my butt to lose all this weight!! So I'm losing weight because I'm young and they're not because they're old.... or is it because of that big fat Snickers bar they choose to eat everyday? :grumble:

    Yeah, I hate when people try to attribute your weight loss success to your age. Excuse me! The secret is...there is no secret. It's a balance (struggle) between eating right and exercising. It is not easy, it is work like accomplishing any other goal.
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
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    I have to say though that when I rejoined weight watchers in May 2011 I actually found it very easy to lose weight. It did take a whole lot of work but once I shifted my thinking the changes were very easy to implement. I ended up losing 20lbs in 6 months which sounds slow but it was how I wanted to do it. I didn't starve myself or deprive myself. I simply planned ahead, cooked, and even knew how and where to treat myself with my favorite foods.

    My biggest rule was that it's not about saying no to myself, but about saying yes to better things, or saying, yeah I can have a donut any time I want, but I have to write it down and I have to really enjoy it. If I just eat because it's there or because I am trying to avoid some other issue, then that's bad.

    Also, the healthier you eat, the easier it gets to move around, cook, avoid trigger foods. For example, if I eat anything made from white flour (bagels, pasta, cookies), I will go mad. I will not stop thinking about getting another fix. It's very disturbing. So I try not to eat that, for my sanity. But if I eat vegetables, fruits, whole grains, protein, natural oils, I have energy and a zest for doing better.

    But then there are times when I just can't track my foods anymore and I eat all the treats that I find in the office (there's always something, isn't there?), and then the numbers go up, which just makes me even madder. Which makes me want to eat more. Sometimes this battle is indeed very hard.

    One last thought-
    Every morning I wake up trying to be better. Many days I fail, but every day I try. Don't ever give up.
  • chriscolh
    chriscolh Posts: 127 Member
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    My husband lost all the weight he wanted to by cutting out soda, watching portion sizes, and he stopped eating the snacks that were always lying around at the office. Whenever anyone asks him for his "secret," he tells them that he finally started following the things he was taught in 8th grade health class. People usually walk away from him disappointed.
    (as a side note, I am very impressed with his self control and dedication to get to his goal! 99.9% very proud of him, 0.1% insanely jealous...)
  • theJTfitness
    theJTfitness Posts: 142 Member
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    People see the weight loss results and it looks like you did it easy. They didn't see the tedious weighing/measuring, declining that awesome dessert after dinner, having veggies instead of chips, having hunger pangs late at night....No, they don't want any part of that. And they convince themselves that you are just lucky to be young or naturally thin.
  • cookiekrunch
    cookiekrunch Posts: 65 Member
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    I am about to turn 40 and absolutely hate that phrase also. A lot of people feel that if you weigh more than 250 lbs, the weight will "melt" away quickly. I started at 260 lbs and am currently at 195. I get asked all of the time how I lost weight so quickly. My response is through changing my eating habits and through exercise. I work out 5/6 days a week and understand what a serving size is now. It is no where near as easy to lose weight as some folks think it is. I tell them it is a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and dedication.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    I've gotten "it's because you're young" a lot about my weight loss. Umm... I'm 31!!! AND I've busted my butt to lose all this weight!! So I'm losing weight because I'm young and they're not because they're old.... or is it because of that big fat Snickers bar they choose to eat everyday? :grumble:

    me too! Grumpy old lady co-worker "You have lost weight"
    Me: "Yeah I use MFP to track calories (more explination on what MFP is) and started running"
    GOLC "Oh thats too much work, but its easier when you are young"

    So I am doing more work than you are willing to put in but I am still getting the easy way out???? ok.....
  • maroonmango211
    maroonmango211 Posts: 908 Member
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    Oh yea this one really grinds my gears big time. I've gotten all those false reasons, my age, having to run around chasing my kids, genetics (which out of all of them couldn't be farther from the truth). Whats worse is when I tell them no I actually have to work at it, they expect me to divulge some special secret to it, not that a good healthy diet and exercise isn't enough. I have literally worked my *kitten* off after multiple times after my 3 kids and ain't no one going to tell me it was easy or think it was some miracle scenario or pill that did it!
  • emhunter
    emhunter Posts: 1,212 Member
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    I'm hoping the people that made that comment didn't mean it in a degrading way. I'm on the other side. I lose weight super slow. Not because I don't have self control, not because I'm over my calories, not because I don't work out. It's just my body. Some people do lose slower than others and perhaps that is what they made by their statement. It's not always calories in v. calories out for some people and some have to do a bit more to get the scale to move. Just smile and be happy that you are not one of them. Your hard work does actually pay off and noticeably.
  • bennettinfinity
    bennettinfinity Posts: 865 Member
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    I had lunch with a friend the other day - we hadn't seen each other in a while, and she commented on how i looked like I had lost weight... followed up immediately with 'but guys lose weight easier'.... WTF?

    Not being a woman, i couldn't really speak to the accuracy of that statement, but i was mildly annoyed (though i didn't let on) that she chose to tack it on - my mind flashed on all the changes I've made and all the exercising I've done over the course of the last year. It hasn't been overly difficult, but it certainly hasn't been easy.

    I think sometimes people have to put those qualifiers on your achievement to feel better about their lack of achievement.

    Maybe we should just take comfort that we're the 'genetic freak' minority for which diet and exercise actually work and let those comments slide off our backs. :wink:
  • Cyclingbonnie
    Cyclingbonnie Posts: 413 Member
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    I saw a friend the other day that I haven't seen since before I started here. She reacted exactly as I like people to react. "Girl! You look Awesome!" she then asked me how I did it. I told her no real secret, count calories, always be aware of what you eat and how much you eat, also keep track of what you burn. I kind of giggled when she said "Oh, I was hoping it was a secret pill."
  • Jess_Forever_After
    Jess_Forever_After Posts: 53 Member
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    "What's your secret?"

    Trust me, you do not want to know. Few are ever really interested in the changes, sacrifices, patience, TEDIUM, and work that goes into shifting large amounts of fat.

    So true,

    When people ask how I lose weight I tell them 'I eat less food.'

    They lose interest pretty quickly when they realize I'm not going to tell them about some magic pill or diet.
  • lavendy17
    lavendy17 Posts: 309 Member
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    I'm hoping the people that made that comment didn't mean it in a degrading way. I'm on the other side. I lose weight super slow. Not because I don't have self control, not because I'm over my calories, not because I don't work out. It's just my body. Some people do lose slower than others and perhaps that is what they made by their statement. It's not always calories in v. calories out for some people and some have to do a bit more to get the scale to move. Just smile and be happy that you are not one of them. Your hard work does actually pay off and noticeably.

    I lose slow too, even if I ate better (I know that I lost slowly because I took it easy, but I lost slowly even when I tried harder).
    But the up side of losing slowly, is gaining slowly. I never had huge gains in a short amount of time, and before I rejoined Weight Watchers, it was after gaining 10 lbs in 5 years, which is not that bad.

    Some people have huge swings and it goes both ways.

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