Still Struggling to Accept Body Type

cls78628

During a large part of my life, I have maintained a "grass is always greener" mentality towards my body type. I am 6'2" in height and have an endomorphic body type (large frame, extremely easy to gain/lose muscle mass and fat). At my lowest adult weight, I was 195 lbs and was skin-and-bones scrawny. My heaviest was about 300 lbs (briefly switched to sedentary job) and was out of shape and obese.

In my line of work, I am constantly assessed by a common set of standards (regardless of age, weight, etc) on various athletic activities such as running, swimming, climbing, and unarmed/armed combat. I have always been envious of the smaller-framed guys, since they are able to get much better marks on most of the skills. I am very strong and fast for my size (currently 245 lbs @ 14-17% body fat), but still--at 40 years old--constantly get frustrated that I'll never have the power-to-weight ratio that the smaller-framed guys are capable of achieving (I get my *kitten* kicked on cargo net and wall climbs, regardless of how much stronger I may be).

I am still hitting my marks at acceptable levels, but I know that is going to become more difficult as I continue to approach the half-century mark. My job and life will change radically when I can no longer compete, and I am absolutely dreading it. I work with a couple guys in their mid-50s who are still hanging in there, but they are in the smaller body type categories. The 50+ year-old big bruiser types always get forced into more sedentary roles years ahead of the others.

I believe that my "grass is always greener" attitude is common with most people (small guys wanting to be huge, "thick" women wanting to be "wispy"). I think it is human nature to always want what another has. However, reality is that we cannot change the body type we were born with. In the past, I've modified my training to nothing but crossfit-type activities with the goal of condensing my strength and speed into less muscle mass (more power, less bulk). I think I'm finally being forced to accept the fact that my body just doesn't work that way.

Can anyone else share their experiences in accepting their body type, as well as how you have emotionally and mentally coped with it?

husseycd

I'm female and have definitely struggled with body shape acceptance. I have a fairly athletic build with broad shoulders and a big rib cage. It wasn't until I started circus arts that I began to appreciate my body for what it can do and not just for how it looks.

We're similar age, and I know I don't want to live the rest of my life wishing for something different. I want my body to be the best it can be while I'm still young enough to enjoy it. I can't go back to being 20 and I can't change my huge rib cage without crazy surgery. But I can get that great butt I've always wanted, and I can sculpt great abs, and I can increase my flexibility, and get that straight arm pike-up, etc.