Struggling with Stress....

MissKim78

I do not deal with personal stress well and can tend to let it get out of control. I hate change....because it comes with too many unknowns....and unknowns STRESS ME OUT! I can't seem to help it!

I have to switch jobs at the end of this month. I have been at my current job for over a year and have developed quite the good routine. So many things are unknown and so many will change. Not to mention its not the best job offer....one year contract, no vacation time, no benefits and only a couple dollars more an hr than I get now....with a further commute that will cost me more in gas and bridge fare! I don't want to car pool and bus is out of the question since it would be a 2+ hr bus ride one way! That combined with meeting a bunch of new people, learning new systems etc all makes me uneasy. I don't have social anxiety or anything....its just the meeting everyone and remembering names and hoping they like me! LOL I know I should be grateful to even HAVE a job...and I AM....but everyone is allowed to have preferences. I will continue to look for something that is more suitable but in the meantime, I have given my notice and accepted the other job. So the stress is taking over...

My issue is.....When I get stressed out....I don't sleep well and tend to adapt an "Eff it!" attitude....I spend so much time and energy on worrying and stressing that I am too exhausted to think about what I am eating....I go for comfort foods and junk. I've been eating pretty crappy for the last few days...trying to stay within my calories but sometimes going over and not getting as much exercise because I am not sleeping well...and eating crappy....so I feel tired and sluggish. I just feel like I will get myself into a vicious cycle of poor choice and bad eating again.

I just want to know if anyone else is similar and how you deal with it. I don't want to hear anything like "suck it up" or "just shrug it off" because I've tried both and neither was helpful...I just ended up bottling it all inside and almost had a nervous breakdown!

Everyone is different and everyone deals with stress differently. This is just how I personally am and I am just looking for people who have gone through or are going through something similar. I know there are bigger things other people have to deal with...and my problems may seem small and petty....but this is what I personally am dealing with, not giving a sob story....just looking for friendly support!
Thanks!!

marian4marian

hi miss kim! congrats on the weight loss. i am new also. stress will not only lead us to the food but it can outright kill us. very important to find ways to deal with it. what works for me? there are tons of meditations on you tube...i listened to several and found one i love - and use daily -. it takes me 25 mins and i often combine it with a relaxing bath...
another way i deal with stress is through exercise, particularly outdoors...nature is a true balm...writing, painting, yoga often comes with breathing exercises and i find those help me 'exhale' stress...then there are the essential oils...like lavender...that you can use.
foods with b vitamins - like yogurt - are good for calming nerves. or just use b vitamins. and there are lots of calmning herbal teas - like chamomile..that calm frayed nerves....

wendydove71

Hello,

I also struggle with stress eating. I tend to have the F it mentality when things are not going my way or the way I think they should go. I have been practicing to only focus on the things in my circle. get a piece a paper and make a circle. Write down everything in your circle that is important to you and focus on that. copy the circle and paste it wherever you go to remind yourself what is important. Your new job will work out fine. You cannot worry about the unseen. It might turn out to be the best job ever. Keep pushing and everything will come together. When you feel you want to stress out or eat crazy, go for a walk or walk away from the situation then come back.

MissKim78

hi miss kim! congrats on the weight loss. i am new also. stress will not only lead us to the food but it can outright kill us. very important to find ways to deal with it. what works for me? there are tons of meditations on you tube...i listened to several and found one i love - and use daily -. it takes me 25 mins and i often combine it with a relaxing bath...
another way i deal with stress is through exercise, particularly outdoors...nature is a true balm...writing, painting, yoga often comes with breathing exercises and i find those help me 'exhale' stress...then there are the essential oils...like lavender...that you can use.
foods with b vitamins - like yogurt - are good for calming nerves. or just use b vitamins. and there are lots of calmning herbal teas - like chamomile..that calm frayed nerves....

Thanks...I've tried meditation before but honestly can't shut my brain off! And even when I exercise, I think....a lot! LOL Unless I am with someone and we can talk. The only thing that seems to help is to curl up with the bf and watch tv shows or movies....but then I end up feeling "lazy".

MissKim78

Hello,

I also struggle with stress eating. I tend to have the F it mentality when things are not going my way or the way I think they should go. I have been practicing to only focus on the things in my circle. get a piece a paper and make a circle. Write down everything in your circle that is important to you and focus on that. copy the circle and paste it wherever you go to remind yourself what is important. Your new job will work out fine. You cannot worry about the unseen. It might turn out to be the best job ever. Keep pushing and everything will come together. When you feel you want to stress out or eat crazy, go for a walk or walk away from the situation then come back.

Thank You for your tips! I really do wish I didn't worry and stress so much....it just seems like my mind has a mind of its own! lol
I def need to learn how to avoid those bad food choices. I will talk to my bf and get him to "steer" me away when he can! lol

establishingaplace

Oh boy. I do not deal well with stress AT ALL. It runs me down to the point that my body temp drops and I feel extremely fatigued and unable to do much of anything. I run to the comfort foods, stop exercising, escape with Netflix, etc. etc.

A couple of years ago I had several months of constant low-level stress with high-stress periods. I realized that the source wasn't going away anytime soon so I had to deal with my stress response. When I get stressed, my breath gets more shallow and I feel amped up. I get super-focused and stop taking breaks - even bathroom breaks. So to combat my stress response, I just became hyper-aware of my behavior. I would take a few minutes of every hour to stop and check in with myself. When I felt my breathing was growing shallow, I would stop and close my eyes and take deep breaths. Journaling also helped, but I know that doesn't work for everyone.

I got my eating under control by simply realizing it was something I could do. If I'm fatigued I won't exercise, but fatigue doesn't hinder my ability to eat. If I can be consistent with that, one less stress point.

So my advice is to think about your stress response and find ways to take a more active role in it. Own it or it owns you.

lavendy17

Yeah definitely!
Stress even makes me want to go and eat crap on purpose! WTF?!

I take a deep breath and say- stress doesn't burn more calories!
Silly but works for me.

danabm

I struggle with stress as well. I changed jobs mid year last year. Where I was last year afforded my the ability to walk in a nice park on my lunch and eat when I wanted and was a small office of eight.

When I changed jobs I came to a place of 100 and cannot walk on my lunch and must go to lunch between 11-12, so I am starving when I get home anyway. Add in stress from the larger work environment and I want to eat ever Girl Scout Cookie I can find. I have found water to be my best friend. Instead of running to the cookies I grab a bottle of water and it seems to curb my craving. Although on a 2 hour bus ride that may not work for you.

As for dealing with the people, odds are if they don't like you, you didn't need them in your life anyway. I know that is easier said then done though. But if you are a fan of fruit. Stock up on natures candy: Strawberries, Melon, Kiwi, Grapes, etc. They can often satisfy a sweet tooth.

YLClare

Instead of trying the whole "Om" staring at a candle or internally focussed meditation, why not try a more active type of meditation when your brain is in overdrive? I have a funny little app on my phone with meditations on it, and it has a couple that are really good for calming down without having to find a darkened room...

The first is to focus on your feet as you walk down the street, and the rhythm in your feet. Count steps - 1 left, 2 right, 1 left, 2 right. Then try to slow your breathing down as you do it.

The second one you can do on a street when you are walking past other people (but not too crowded a place, otherwise it can get more stressful, not less!). You mentally say "have a lovely day" to people as they pass. If there are too many, you imagine sending that thought to one person until they pass, then choose another one. You can do it at the gym too, as long as the person you are thinking about is not going to think that you are staring or creeping them! Just select someone, and think to yourself about them "have a great workout - I hope you reach your goals".

Both these things should help you to feel more comfortable in a busy commute environment and make the space more friendly for yourself. Eventually there will be people you can say it out loud to, which is even better! It might help you in your new workplace, too.

It's a bit rubbish that you cannot have holidays. Then again, I found out that holiday entitlement which every UK worker has pretty much been able to take as given for decades, was only just codified into our laws in 1998, thanks to an EU regulation. Holidays are essential to your mental health to allow you to breathe and keep your stress levels down.

Best of luck.

MissKim78

Thank you so much!! Those are some great tips!!! It's nice to know I am not alone in this....that in itself makes me feel a little better if that makes sense!!

MissKim78

Yeah definitely!
Stress even makes me want to go and eat crap on purpose! WTF?!

I take a deep breath and say- stress doesn't burn more calories!
Silly but works for me.

EXACTLY!! I just get this....F it....I want it, I'm gonna get it and eat it. Then after I instantly feel like crap, physically and mentally. Just talking about this makes me feel a little better. Venting def helps and so does supportive people like here on MFP!

Rivers2k

Must be something in the air. I just posted something very similar. If you figure out how to knock this let me know.