Been here 4 months now. I need friends.

dadandersen

My "real life" friends and family have been no support on my fitness quest at all. In fact, they are kind of dragging me down. I need some new friends.

I'm 42, a father of 8 kids. Happily married. Disabled. And I was 70 pounds overweight. So far, with the help of this site, I've lost 30 pounds. But I'm starting to wear down.

I can't convince my wife and kids to join me in eating better and exercising. My wife does all the shopping and buys "their food" and "my food". They're starting to try things to make a gradual change, like chicken breasts and ground turkey, but they think they'll have to give up so much to eat better. Fact is, I've eaten more burgers since I started my diet than before. Granted they are turkey burgers on 100 calorie buns, but they taste better than anything McDonalds ever served...

I'm off on a rant. But anyway, I just need some friends. look me up.

jillian41085

You can do it! You're already almost halfway to your goal! Stick with it!

sandyvanderstelt

i love turkey burgers! way better than real burgers

Wendy543

It is hard to do things on your own, but by eating healthy you are giving them a good example and maybe they will follow eventually. Keep going your doing great!!

carrib258

You can not let anyone dictate how you look at your goal. They will see you change and be inspired by your progress. They will see you as a roll model. If your wife is over weight, she will be proud of you and it may perk up your relationship. It will make your kids proud and they will be influenced by your attitude.

If they are not supportive, they may try to sabatoge you. Watch out for that. Hang in there. No one can stop you but you.

JayneWilson1963

Hello. I understand your pain...same at my house. But with the help and support of MFP friends, I am staying strong. I have sent you a friend request. I will be gald to help motivate and encourage you. Good job on losing the weight. Keep up the good work!

superhippiechik

I am dealing with these same issues. My family is my biggest weight loss obstical!:explode:

brittanydaniel79

I've found that there are so many misconceptions about health! People actually think the foods bad for them taste better. But really, "healthy" food has so much more flavor and variation. I'm just starting out on my weightloss journey, but those I love feel they must give up all the "bad" food they love in order to be healthier. This isn't true at all...sure you have to cut back, but the point is not deprivation, but moderation. I'm learning this quickly.

The hard part isn't cutting down bad food, but changing your habits. And when people are faced with that, they generally recoil from whatever it is that's asking them to change.

And it's hard on those of us who have decided to do better. I see my family eat poorly while I try to eat what they refer to as "green things." I also see them go on unnecessary diets that cut out whole nutritional elements that our bodies need, only to crash afterward and regain the weight.

So congrats on your weightloss already--that is truly an accomplishment without having much support from home. You can keep it up.

Remember: In 6 months, you could be maintaining your achieved weightloss goal, or you could be slowly gaining with the rest of them. You've got what it takes though!

freeatlast20

same here,,,,i have to try to make healthy meals and my kids dont want it...but the girl i work with is supportive..and we exchange ideas from time to time...ill add you as a friend and be glad to offer your encouragement and support....i love this site for that reason if no other...the people here are amazing....good luck on your weight loss journey...im cheering you on
:flowerforyou: :drinker:

kappyblu

I'm so sorry your family isn't more supportive, but congratulations on your weight loss and healthy lifestyle! I love turkey burgers as well! I'm lucky that 3 of my 4 children are small and they eat what I give them. (usually!) My oldest (17 year old boy) complained at first a little bit, but he's on board now. I think he is actually wanting to get on the fitness train, too. I have been hoping he would, because he is about 120 pounds overweight. I make the dinners so I can control that, and he grabs a whole wheat mini bagel or a quick bowl of whole grain cereal or granola bar most mornings, but lunchtime is what I have no control over for any of my kids. They are in school or daycare. I know they steer the kids towards healthy choices, but it seems like at least once a week (or more!) there is somebody with a birthday who brings in tons of sugary and salty chips, not to mention sugar soda. My hope is that eventually they will realize my healthy choices and choose to make them when they are not home.

That is NOT the way I was brought up. My mom used lard in almost everything! I remember having cakes, pies, homemade fried donuts all the time! I remember we would have broiled steaks that were broiled in butter. Then we would use that butter and steak drippings to dip the steak in and also our fried french fries in! Sheesh!!!

Hang in there!!! I hope they come around eventually!

strongerthanb4

hey, you have a friend in me! and i know how it is, not having support. i am a widow with an 8 yr old daughter and she eats pretty healthy, but still have to cook seperate meals for us both....it's is not always easy cooking her some sort of potatoes EVERY day, and bread, as i have given them up, but i just tell myself i am starting new habits for myself for my lifestyle change. keep up the good work, we can talk any time.....just friend me. oh yeah my name is melissa!

saychzzz

Add me as a friend. We'll run this race together!

SP0472

Congrats on the loss so far and on 8 kids!!!! OMG! That's a handful!

I'm kind of in the same predicament but I do the grocery shopping at my house. I don't expect anyone to follow what I'm doing so I used to buy "their food" and "my food" and surprisingly, they always ate MY food whenever I cooked! Now I just by "their snacks" and buy all the same food for all of us! Even my dad [who's actually underweight by BMI measurements but is solid muscle] will eat what I cook because it tastes good. He doesn't realize that I don't fry the meatballs like my mom used to or that I used lean meat instead of 80-20 beef when I make them. He still gobbles them up!

aprilgicker

My husband and I share the cooking. We have 4 kids-16,5,4,1. So we try to have things the kids will eat. Maybe fix those burgers with Turkey bacon and swiss. sauteed mushrooms and onion. let them order it like at mcD's. Or whole grain spaghetti and salad.
I get all the special stuff and the kids like making it their own.
We came up with a mini menu for each day, so the shopping is easier too. example:
On Tuesdays:
we have grill day.
so the meat is chicken. and the veggies to choose from are corn on the cob grilled, green beans, fresh tomatoes, and or cucs. what ever matches the chicken marinade flavor.
We will usually grill the pork too for Thursday, that way it is tender and most of the fat has been cooked out. Would work with the burgers too.
And our standing table rule is if you don't want it, you don't have to eat it ,but you are Not getting anything else for the rest of the evening. If they are teens just don't buy their junk food, they get enough of that at school. we cut out most of the junk food. This will help with the price of the healthier food. Because it does cost more to eat healthy.
No canned green stuff only fresh or frozen. we leave that for the holidays so it makes it even better! mmmm... green bean casserole.

IF you want I can send you the whole plan we follow. it has cut down our fussing over the cooking and shopping to almost nothing.

aprilgicker

hey, you have a friend in me! and i know how it is, not having support. i am a widow with an 8 yr old daughter and she eats pretty healthy, but still have to cook seperate meals for us both....it's is not always easy cooking her some sort of potatoes EVERY day, and bread, as i have given them up, but i just tell myself i am starting new habits for myself for my lifestyle change. keep up the good work, we can talk any time.....just friend me. oh yeah my name is melissa!

wholegrain mac n cheese. great to make in bulk and dish it up through out the week.
also Pillsbury makes single serving biscuits
My friend does this with her daughted whose meds make her not hungry.

mmtiernan

Subscribe to or pick up a Clean Eating magazine - it has lots of great, healthy recipes and many are fun turkey burger-type fare that your family will love, too! My 15 yo daughter discovered this magazine (!) originally and loves when the new magazine comes. She helps plan out a cook our weekly dinners, which is the best way to get the kids on board - getting them involved so they feel they have some choices. The magazine also typically features healthy, lower cost dinners to teach families how to stretch a grocery budget and still maintain healthy food. There are also lots of healthy eating web sites that you could pull recipes from - get the kids involved and teach them what to look for in a recipe to ensure it is healthy!! If you make it a family affair by involving everyone in helping to make the healthy choices, you might be able to get them to come around to a healthier life style too!

Congratulation on your 70 lb loss so far!! That is quite an accomplishment! :bigsmile:

dadandersen

Thanks, everyone. I am overwhelmed by the number of friend requests. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner. You folks are awesome. I look forward to getting to know you and learning this healthy stuff from you. Peace.

saychzzz

WOW! Father to 8 kids!!! That's impressive! I have 3 kids and one grandchild and feel like they will run me loopy most days. I know how you feel about your family not getting on board. My husband has more health issues than I do and won't join me either. My two teenage boys eat like pigs. I am trying to raise the grandbaby to eat right though. Best of luck to ya'!

aprilgicker

I posted my meal planner. this guide is so easy! take a look and pass it to your wife she may love how simple it is and start cooking just one meal and give you a smooch:smooched: