Skinny & binging

daniellekunkel1

I can most likely be medically diagnosed with anorexia nervosa due to my physical symptoms, but I still eat, and quite a bit actually! Still, I'm trying to gain weight and become healthier, but I can't quite get it right. I binged today and consumed a total of over 4,000 calories. I'm completely repulsed (and somewhat terrified) of my lack of satiation and of how much food I actually indulged in within a period of 2.5 hours. Let me give you the complete lowdown: from 11:30 to a little after 2, I stuffed my face with about 2.5 cups of trail mix with m&ms, a whole jimmy john's sub, a huge cup of frozen yogurt topped with cheesecake, raspberries, and waffle cone pieces, a ginormous Milio's sandwich chocolate chip cookie, an extra large local bakery white chocolate raspberry scone, about a cup more of black cherry flavored frozen yogurt, and more trail mix. This was all just for lunch by the way. While I am in fact wanting to gain weight, I am stil completely repulsed by how much I ate...and I even ate quite a bit more breakfast this morning. So, I'm wondering, why am I doing this (this definitely isn't the only time it's happened, but this might be the worst). What do I do!? What should I think, and what are the possible consequences of doing this repeatedly to myself!?

Fithealthyforlife

I firmly believe that when one is at an extreme (such as anorexic behavior or compulsive overeating) the mind tries to compensate every so often.

It's hard to regulate a narrow caloric intake range...not just for people with eating disorders. For everyone. The reason is, we don't really know how much we're eating until we weigh/measure the food. Unfortunately, that's what's needed in order to maintain, lose, or gain weight. And that can produce symptoms of disordered eating in and of itself. That said, the good news is, it's the average intake over the span of a few days that's more important than the daily intake on any given day.

I just think ups and downs are natural as you try to pull yourself out of this and learn to eat in a more regular way over time. You'll learn to self-regulate better over time.

Btw: eating 4000 calories once in a while is not going to physically damage anything. Rest assured it's not dangerous to the body. It's just a lot of food, that's all. There are guys who are professional lifters who eat 8,000 calories+ per day.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

1. Don't beat yourself up. You had a bad day. Move on. You can't fix it now. Try not to dwell.

2. You should probably seek help. You are a student? See if the university has some services available, or talk to your doctor. I'm not talking full in-patient treatment, just talking to someone might help.

3. What is your calorie level when you aren't binging? In general, eating at a higher calorie level without severe restriction can help prevent the desire to binge.

smand2000

You are also a cross country / track athlete. Do you know how many calories such an active lifestyle requires? Talk to a coach / dietician to get an idea of how much you should be eating. You might be surprised at what is "normal."

And of course, if you think you have an ed, talk to a counselor to get a handle on it. Staying healthy is the most important gift you can give yourself. Good luck!

1princesswarrior

Maybe you should to see a counselor to deal with the emotional issues for the "why" and a nutritionist or dietician to help you with an organized meal plan with balanced nutrition to help you with satiation and gaining weight in a healthy manner so you know when and how to cut.

You have taken a big first step in asking for help. That's very brave.

Fithealthyforlife

You are also a cross country / track athlete. Do you know how many calories such an active lifestyle requires? Talk to a coach / dietician to get an idea of how much you should be eating. You might be surprised at what is "normal."

How did I miss that part? You're so right though. OP probably needs more than she thinks.

SoDamnHungry

You are also a cross country / track athlete. Do you know how many calories such an active lifestyle requires? Talk to a coach / dietician to get an idea of how much you should be eating. You might be surprised at what is "normal."

How did I miss that part? You're so right though. OP probably needs more than she thinks.

Yup. Sounds more like she was hungry.

OP, you do look quite thin in your pics. It could be your lifestyle, but it could also be thyroid related or something. Like others suggested, talk to a doctor and a nutritionist. And don't feel gross about eating a ton if it's what your body needs. Feeling gross about eating food is not healthy or fun.

geekyjock76

You mention this happens regularly, but what is your caloric intake the rest of the week? You also stated in another thread you have not had your period in over two years. Being an endurance athlete requires a tremendous amount of calories and, if you love running competitively, you need to nourish your body adequately or athletic performance will begin to suffer.

Considering how underweight you appear in your photos, as well as everything you've shared, you should talk to a counselor for free at your university or seek a specialist. But don't beat yourself up too much about your calories. Most recovering anorexics undergoing weight restoration will be given minimum calorie goals ranging from 2500 calories to 4000. The caloric goal is meant to recover weight but also repair the physiological damage suffered. Only when those two goals are met can the nuerobiological healing occur - at least, part of which can be reversed.

Although you may not meet all the requirements to be considered an Anorexic, severe and chronic malnutrition leading to a very low body weight can still cause neurobiological changes to occur within areas of the brain which affect reward vs aversion as well as correctly recognizing degrees of satiety and hunger. These mutations of the brain, which occur in Anorexics, can actually be seen in a fMRI scan.

daniellekunkel1

Thank you all so much for the advice. I appreciate it so much!

harphy

Your body needs food, desperately. Try to prepare for next binge with keeping healthier food in your pantry. Make a list of what you like to eat AND is good for you. Replace m&m's with peanut or peanut butter, sandwich with whole wheat bread, ice cream is ok, berries as well, cheescake with cottage cheese, fruit in general is better than crystal sugar, milk chocolate with dark chocolate.
And don't forget to drink tons of water. You will be ok.

daniellekunkel1

Unfortunately, I'm lactose intolerant, so I suffer immensely when I decide I can no longer resist dairy product's temptation. By the way, my average calorie intake is 2,500 calories/day. I don't run nearly as much as I used to two years ago, and my runs average 30 minutes/day.

daniellekunkel1

Furthermore, both my parents are fairly thin, so high metabolism a run in my family, you could say. For example, my dad is 5'10"-5'11", 50 years old, and barely weighs 140, if that. My mom is 45, 5'4", and weighs 123lbs.

mjudd1990

Anorexia nervosa is more than just being thin, it's severe calorie restriction along with an intense fear of weight gain and a disturbance in how one experiences their body weight/shape. That being said, everyone assumes anorexia is only eating little to nothing, but this is only one subtype, referred to as "restrictive." There is another subtype referred to as "binge-eating/purging type" and is actually a separate entity from bulimia nervosa. Even though you are thin, the fact that you are intent on gaining weight makes anorexia nervosa somewhat unlikely.

There are other disorders that could account for this such as binge-eating disorder, which is recurrent episodes of eating an amount of food that is significantly larger than most people would eat in a 2 hour period and/or a sense of lack of control over eating during the episode.

That being said, I am not trying to internet diagnose, merely provide some info and hopefully let you gain some insight as to what may be going on. Also, if this has only happened a few times maybe you were just really hungry that day. As someone above said, pigging out and downing 4000 calories from time to time isn't gonna kill you. What matters more is how you felt about eating that much both during and afterwards.

EngineerPrincess

You really need a doctor's help to recover. Even if you think you're not "that bad" or can do it alone, don't. Your health/life isn't something to mess with. Congratulations for trying to turn your life around. See a doctor from here on out and they can tell you what is okay, and rules for "binging" are different when you're actually severely underweight.

DO NOT take anyone's advice but a doctor or nutritionist who has seen you in PERSON. Good luck, you can do this.

tanfit4life

please seek help-I am not a professional-I use to think if I didn't eat it was ok-for me I need to eat-binging is not healthy-please see a nuturistinst are a doctor you truly need help my friend-and there are no experts on here-this is your life-good luck to you-I hope you journey is a safe one-

sarehhhhhhh

Yes, I agree with those who say to seek some advice. I was somewhat anorexic and then it became a bing/purge subtype, which is now more just like bulimia. Sounds like you got what I got - a good sweet tooth! When I binge, it can be on anything but sugary stuff is the main culprit. Like others have said, try peanut butter etc and other things which will stablise your blood sugar rather than spiking it, which in turn will make you feel lethargic etc.

But it's also good to enjoy yourself once in a while, so a treat now and again isn't that bad. Don't cut it out alltogether

KarenBoehlke

I think the morbid thoughts about your eating stems mostly from the types of foods you choose. All unhealthy. If you had steak and eggs for breakfast. Chicken salad, tomatoes and spinach for lunch, pizza for dinner and fruit and yogurt for snacks (all together would make a high calorie day) you wouldn't have beat yourself up over your choices. A nutritionist will help you find a good balance of food and how to keep and prepare healthy emergency snacks for those times when your body lets you know that it needs more fuel.

tracybryson165

I just read, "Figure out whats bothering you and you will be on your way to controlling emotional eating". Easier said than done, especially if its a problem that can't be solved...EX; past abuse, abandonment,lonliness etc...Once you can truly get past it, then you can start healing emotionally....I'm just learning this myself and I have a ways to go. But , atleast I learned where to start.

waldo56

I can most likely be medically diagnosed with anorexia nervosa due to my physical symptoms, but I still eat, and quite a bit actually! Still, I'm trying to gain weight and become healthier, but I can't quite get it right. I binged today and consumed a total of over 4,000 calories. I'm completely repulsed (and somewhat terrified) of my lack of satiation and of how much food I actually indulged in within a period of 2.5 hours.

One of the side effects of your body's protection mechanism against starvation is that you become ravenously hungry and absolutely nothing satisfies the hunger.

Almost noone can control themselves once the hormones really kick in (hence why pro bodybuilders use drugs to assist), lack of control in those situations is not your fault at all. A whole cocktail of hormones is impacted, including those responsible for rational thought.

The body's defense mechanism kicks in because you were eating too little for too long.

The solution to the problem is not trying to control the binges, it is to eliminate the triggering mechanism in the first place. The trigger is not there if you are in a "fed" state and your body is not trying to actively fight against starvation.

If you are lean, carbs are the quickest path to a fed state. Either having normal body fat levels or having a high carb load (or both) and being in a net calorie balance or surplus will give the signal to your body that you are fed.

When you binge, shift your attention to pure carb sources (sugars and starches). As long as you are not in a net calorie deficit, it should help to eliminate the need to binge over time. Though the carbs will contribute to rapid weight gain, they will not contribute significantly to fat gain (glycogen binds to a lot of water, glycogen is not fat and is nothing like it). You'll find that massive carb intakes will make you feel spectacular immediately afterwards as long as you don't feel guilty. Which you shouldn't, because it is exactly what your body needs.

likitisplit

Unfortunately, I'm lactose intolerant, so I suffer immensely when I decide I can no longer resist dairy product's temptation. By the way, my average calorie intake is 2,500 calories/day. I don't run nearly as much as I used to two years ago, and my runs average 30 minutes/day.

How much do you weigh? Do you do anything else but run?

If you are binging like that, it means that you are under eating. So functionally, you should start moving your calories up by 100 a day until you don't do that anymore.

daniellekunkel1

I think my biggest problem is that I only eat a select amount of foods. I'm sort of picky, I'm a creature of habit, and I'm a typical college student who lacks time. Don't take me wrong though, I NEVER skip a meal. I keep some type of food on me at all times, because when hunger strikes, I turn into a beast. In other words, I can become very unpleasant to be around when I am not fed and feeling unsatisfied.
Lately, I've been cooking for myself though, making wondrous things like baked chicken, salmon, sweet potato fries, and more. My craving for unhealthy crap has decreased significantly within the past two weeks, and it's AWESOME! Furthermore, I've injured myself, so I have been unable to run for a week and a half. I've begun spinning instead, and it's quite the workout! I'm working muscles I haven't engaged in quite some time!
Thankfully, due to this damn injury, I've learned I can't only run to remain fit (which isn't exactly the reason why I do it fyi). I've come to enjoy doing spin workouts as well. I think they're almost just as stress relieving and fun as running!...ALMOST!

hlm711

I took up spinning when I gave myself a pelvic stress fracture from over training running at a low weight..Its a fantastic workout but it is a calorie fryer too so make sure your keeping up your great progress with your diet.
I used to beat myself up over binges too, but realised the foods I was crazy on like granola, Peanut butter and and cereal bars arnt 'bad' foods. Congratulations on your progress!

Ulwaz

Its hard to find a happy medium with food, i think everyone has bad days anyways, maybe plan your meals in advance and try and limit how much junk food you buy if you are worried and binging on it also try healthier alternatives

matt6050

I would echo what most people are saying: don't beat yourself up! You're an athlete, so you need more. Your body will naturally regulate your calories day to day via hunger/satiety cues. Best of luck!