Starting Fresh this time around

FreeSpirit1992

So, I was a regular on MFP on another account for well over a year. I lost about 10 pounds, which was all I needed to lose, then lost it and started binging again, which, silver lining, I now realize is something I've struggled with all my life and need to deal with. It has been recommended to me to seek medical help for my binging, as the medical professional I spoke to suspected undiagnosed ADD or anxiety disorder might be to blame. I've never been overweight, but logging food was a good way to track my food habits and stop binging. Anyway, I lost the weight I needed to lose, and then binging took over and I gained 25 pounds. So, I'm back. I stopped counting for a while to attempt to eat intuitively, which didn't work. I just used it as a licence to overeat, it seems.

Stress causes me to binge eat and I have been working on developing healthier coping mechanisms than binge eating. Since I've been really paying attention and getting serious about using the numbers, my frantic overeating(not high enough in calories to call a "binge", but certainly frantic overeating is a good description) has gotten less frequent and less high-calorie. We're now talking 2,500 calories in a day instead of 4,000(I lose track after about 3,000). Currently, my most productive ways to counteract stress eating are running and (strange as it may sound) playing Tetris.

I am getting married in three months. I really, truly want to look my best for my husband. I've lost and gained this weight while we've been together, and I'm sure it kills him to see me struggle with food. Plus, my thighs got a lot of stretch marks all over from the rapid weight gain, which are pretty dang gross. I know those aren't going to just go away if I lose weight, but they're a pretty good reminder of what poor eating habits have done to my body.

I am also a very all-or-nothing personality, which is apparently common in various forms of disordered eating. If I go a few calories over, I used to say "f--- it" and just keep eating. I'm hoping to not do that anymore. My best trick is as soon as I realize I'm in binge mode while I'm eating to change the manner of eating, like breaking crackers into pieces instead of biting into them, for example. It's like it flips a switch in my brain that brings me back to what I'm doing. I've gone so far as to eat a bagel with peanut butter with a fork and knife. It was VERY difficult, and certainly put me off that binge because that's pretty hard to eat with a fork and knife. It stopped me from eating the rest of what I wanted to in that binge, which was more of the same and granola. Cereal is eaten out of a coffee mug with my fingers if I really want it. Believe me, I don't usually want it THAT much. I can't buy natural peanut butter, granola, or shelled nuts anymore. I will eat a jar of peanut butter with a spoon at a disgusting rate of speed with a great deal of pain. :sick:

So, yeah. That's me in a nutshell. Anxious basketcase with very little self-control when it comes to emotional eating and carb cravings.

duckwkat

We are so similar!
I used MFP back in 2012, and lost a lot of weight, and I have the all or nothing personality too, went an entire year without eating a single bad thing. But then one night I ate something bad, and this began my night time binging cycle. I am trying to loose weight again, changing my habits and not feeling bad if I eat something bad. I am also an emotional binger too, it sucks, cause afterwards you are literally like why?, and then you promise yourself it will be the last time, but a few days go by and you get this weird sensation you have to eat and bam you have just had another binge.
I am also starting fresh, I began about 10 days ago and have had one bad day in those 10 days, in the first week I managed to lose 1.5kg which is crazy but i'm stoked.

Good luck with your journey, and your wedding!!!
I know you will be able to get back on track, if we were able to do it once, we can definitely do it again!

mojomojo45

Well you have made a positive choice by joining mfp again. You have good insight into your reasons for over eating you just need to work on strategies to manage your reaction to stress.

You will look lovely on your wedding day with or without the 25lbs. But if you want to lose weight just be a little firm with yourself and say I have choices - I choose not to over eat - I have the self control - I CAN do it.

I can truly say I am a little lazy about losing weight. I WANT to but then I love coffee with 2 heaped tsps. sugar!! It is a choice I suppose.

I would like to know how people stop feeling hungry - I do not understand people who say they never get hungry on diets? any help appreciated.

Oh and HELLO EVERYONE !

FreeSpirit1992

Well you have made a positive choice by joining mfp again. You have good insight into your reasons for over eating you just need to work on strategies to manage your reaction to stress.

You will look lovely on your wedding day with or without the 25lbs. But if you want to lose weight just be a little firm with yourself and say I have choices - I choose not to over eat - I have the self control - I CAN do it.

I can truly say I am a little lazy about losing weight. I WANT to but then I love coffee with 2 heaped tsps. sugar!! It is a choice I suppose.

I would like to know how people stop feeling hungry - I do not understand people who say they never get hungry on diets? any help appreciated.

Oh and HELLO EVERYONE !

I will preface this remark by saying I have never, ever binged out of hunger. But fibre + protein is the gold standard of not feeling hungry. A "breakfast" of two egg whites, 50 g of zucchini and 50 g of mushrooms keeps me full until lunch. Cottage cheese and egg whites are amazing. I just bought Wasa Crispbread the other day (120 calories and 6 g of fibre in three pieces) and it is a magically filling food for its calorie content.

Fibre on its own, I find, is not filling, especially if it comes in the form of something like apples or carrots, which are also high in sugar. They just make me thirsty in addition to being hungry.

mojomojo45

Thank you for that advice - eggs cottage cheese and fish are my favourites.

There are lots of reasons you binge - being overtired is one - I think that the loss of control is awful for you and you must have a lot of guilt after that. Perhaps some cognitive therapy would benefit you. Also - do not label yourself as a binge eater. You are strong and have the choice to STOP. It is your decision to say YES or NO and if you are covering up bad feelings they will come out. They say it takes 6 weeks to break a habit so just go for it. NEVER keep on eating just for the sake of it - leave the house and go for a drive with your best music and keep saying in you head "I have choices".
:flowerforyou: