Friends not happy for you!?

jlahorn

I know family and friends are happy for me, but seriously, I finally got my *kitten* in gear and lost weight - it isn't like I cured cancer.

Love this.

I actually get kind of confused if somebody makes a big deal about my weight loss. Keeping your body healthy should be something we expect from everyone (who has access to proper nutrition) by default. While it's certainly hard work to lose weight, we did it to ourselves. We're just fixing something we've been doing wrong to begin with.

seltzermint555

I know family and friends are happy for me, but seriously, I finally got my *kitten* in gear and lost weight - it isn't like I cured cancer.

Love this.

I actually get kind of confused if somebody makes a big deal about my weight loss. Keeping your body healthy should be something we expect from everyone (who has access to proper nutrition) by default. While it's certainly hard work to lose weight, we did it to ourselves. We're just fixing something we've been doing wrong to begin with.

I completely agree!

Kymaaa3

Love this post. I've experience this and I've put it into prospective "It's their issue not mine." my main concern is to get healthly mind body and soul, so if family members and friends start looking at me side eyed then so be it they will get over it or they wont but I'm going on with my plan no matter what. Now, on the positive side I also found that I have encouraged alot of people and that's wonderful I never thought that I would have that affect on somebody but it's does my heart good to see that someone is getting inspired by my weight loss and I want to be a support to them in any way that I can. So, to all those who are secretly hating let them it's there problem just keep doing what you're doing and don't sweat the small stuff. Peace and Blessings!

_lyndseybrooke_

I only have one friend that I talk to about my weight loss on a regular basis. She's actually very unhappy with her weight, but hasn't yet found the motivation to put the work in to lose it. I don't tell her every time I lose a couple of pounds, though, because I've got my husband for those small victories. However, this weekend was a pretty big deal for me - I took my measurements for the first time (wish I would've done it 15 lbs ago), took some "during" photos (never took photos for this purpose before, but wish I had), and bought my first food scale. I told her all of this via text and said, "I think I may be on a bit of a kick." She agreed with a few "haha"s thrown in and I told her that I hoped it stuck this time because I was sick of yo-yo dieting and I just wanted to feel and look healthy for good. She replied, "I think it will." I also told her a couple weeks ago that I started drinking protein shakes because I was so excited about it and she said she might look into that because she gets really hungry between breakfast and lunch while she's teaching and I told her that the protein shake kept me full all morning (along with my daily oatmeal). She's supportive, but I try not to bombard her with it because I don't want her to think I'm gloating that I'm doing something about my weight and she's not, because that's not my intention. Maybe my excitement will encourage her, but maybe not. I only do it because I'm very excited about my new lifestyle and I want to share it with my friend.

If I texted her and she didn't respond, I'd stop sharing it with her. I would probably have my feelings hurt a bit that she wasn't happy for me, but I wouldn't keep going. I'm very lucky to have my husband, who is super supportive even though he doesn't think I need to lose weight. Just don't let it discourage you - you've got us to talk about your milestones with!

allana1111

I only have one friend that I talk to about my weight loss on a regular basis. She's actually very unhappy with her weight, but hasn't yet found the motivation to put the work in to lose it. I don't tell her every time I lose a couple of pounds, though, because I've got my husband for those small victories. However, this weekend was a pretty big deal for me - I took my measurements for the first time (wish I would've done it 15 lbs ago), took some "during" photos (never took photos for this purpose before, but wish I had), and bought my first food scale. I told her all of this via text and said, "I think I may be on a bit of a kick." She agreed with a few "haha"s thrown in and I told her that I hoped it stuck this time because I was sick of yo-yo dieting and I just wanted to feel and look healthy for good. She replied, "I think it will." I also told her a couple weeks ago that I started drinking protein shakes because I was so excited about it and she said she might look into that because she gets really hungry between breakfast and lunch while she's teaching and I told her that the protein shake kept me full all morning (along with my daily oatmeal). She's supportive, but I try not to bombard her with it because I don't want her to think I'm gloating that I'm doing something about my weight and she's not, because that's not my intention. Maybe my excitement will encourage her, but maybe not. I only do it because I'm very excited about my new lifestyle and I want to share it with my friend.

If I texted her and she didn't respond, I'd stop sharing it with her. I would probably have my feelings hurt a bit that she wasn't happy for me, but I wouldn't keep going. I'm very lucky to have my husband, who is super supportive even though he doesn't think I need to lose weight. Just don't let it discourage you - you've got us to talk about your milestones with!

I agree with this a lot! I've never bombarded.. I've only told them a few times and we were the same starting weight (139) and once she told me her goal was 120... and I'm now at 124... all I got one time was she told me not to get too skinny.. but yet she has the same goal as me! Oh well though... all we can do is love and treat people the way we'd like to be treated

lthames0810

Other than My MFP friends, I've only shared details about my weight loss with one other person. Just this past Saturday, while on a bike ride together, I brought the subject up (again) and she absolutely glazed over. I've become a bore with all this nutrition stuff! Time to take this topic off the "things to talk about" list.

One other perspective. If you were wealthy, you probably wouldn't regale your broke friends with tales about shopping for your new Lexus. You know it would make them feel bad. I know it should be different when talking about an accomplishment worthy of congratulations, but they may feel it's the same.

Fedup23

Some people think they are the first person in the world to lose 20 pounds and want some kind of award...it can go both ways. LOL

allana1111

yeah I totally understand better now. its just that I used to live with her and we'd always talk about eating healthy... .we'd sporadically go to the gym together... have dreams of getting super fit and sexy... and now we live far away from each other and I've done it and she hasn't it probably makes her want nothing to do with it.

seltzermint555

I only have one friend that I talk to about my weight loss on a regular basis. She's actually very unhappy with her weight, but hasn't yet found the motivation to put the work in to lose it. I don't tell her every time I lose a couple of pounds, though, because I've got my husband for those small victories. However, this weekend was a pretty big deal for me - I took my measurements for the first time (wish I would've done it 15 lbs ago), took some "during" photos (never took photos for this purpose before, but wish I had), and bought my first food scale. I told her all of this via text and said, "I think I may be on a bit of a kick." She agreed with a few "haha"s thrown in and I told her that I hoped it stuck this time because I was sick of yo-yo dieting and I just wanted to feel and look healthy for good. She replied, "I think it will." I also told her a couple weeks ago that I started drinking protein shakes because I was so excited about it and she said she might look into that because she gets really hungry between breakfast and lunch while she's teaching and I told her that the protein shake kept me full all morning (along with my daily oatmeal). She's supportive, but I try not to bombard her with it because I don't want her to think I'm gloating that I'm doing something about my weight and she's not, because that's not my intention. Maybe my excitement will encourage her, but maybe not. I only do it because I'm very excited about my new lifestyle and I want to share it with my friend.

If I texted her and she didn't respond, I'd stop sharing it with her. I would probably have my feelings hurt a bit that she wasn't happy for me, but I wouldn't keep going. I'm very lucky to have my husband, who is super supportive even though he doesn't think I need to lose weight. Just don't let it discourage you - you've got us to talk about your milestones with!

I think you have a great attitude about it!!

Fedup23

There are people that have become so obsessive about things that its ALL they talk about. I have one friend, I swear, I know every exercise he does, every day at crossfit from his facebook posts. Theres only so much you can say in response, so maybe my silence on his posts of what he is up to has his undies in a bunch, but hey..we are all different. I do my workouts and weigh ins and keep it to myself, thats my way of doing things.

I think there are a lot of people reading much more into what their family or friends are actually thinking. It may be an insecurity from being overweight, it may an issue of feeling superior becauseof those accomplishments, or it may be as simple as not reading people really well, but I tend to hope for the better than expect the worse from people.

HerbertNenenger

I don't tell anyone how much I weigh, I don't tell anyone what my goals are and how much I want to weigh. All I share with my immediate family is how much more I've lost last week, this week, etc.,BECAUSE THEY ASK !!! And I only tell people at work when they ask as well. I'm happy enough with myself for getting this far and sticking with it to make up for everyone else.

blondelis50

My friends are pretty good at noticing my 25# weight loss. My family never says anything even though they may notice. sigh! I wish they would comment, however they never commented how overweight I was either. thankfully. I'm thinking that maybe if they compliment me now, then it says, "yeah, you were heavy", and they don't want to validate that. In any event, I know they love me no matter my size. I do this for me and my health anyhow. I'm happy with me. A compliment would be nice once in awhile though, but I've stopped looking for it and if I do get a compliment, it makes my day. Good for you and the hard work you are putting into this weight loss journey. Keep it going.:flowerforyou:

KimiSteinbach

Let me just throw out a bit of (calorie-free) food for thought.

I know someone who lost a bunch of weight. Someone I care about very much! She was quite obese and it was absolutely awesome to see the changes.

As she lost, things like this started to happen:

ME: Ugh. I gained five pounds over the holidays.
HER: I don't know how I did it, but I managed to LOSE five in December!!!

ME: I could really use some new jeans.
HER: (standing up to demonstrate): ME TOO! Look at how these are FALLING OFF!

ME: mmmmmmm... Cheeseburgers
HER: UGH! I have absolutely NO appetite for greasy foods!

It got pretty hard to be around her for a while. She thought I was being unsupportive.

I'm not saying this is the case with you, OP, because I don't know you and your friends. But maybe take a second to look inward?

KimiSteinbach

Great response Rockmama72! I have been there too...:happy: