The Binge

Graelwyn75

What is a binge to you ?
I see many people referring to different things as binge, from going 200 calories over, to eating in excess of 5000 calories.
I have had a lot of issues with out of control eating episodes in my past, and still occasionally.
But I sometimes wonder, is calling this behaviour a binge and putting very negative associations on it, a healthy thing?

To me, it sets up this cycle of guilt and shame associated with food, and causes one to second guess themselves if they eat maybe more of one item than society suggests is a normal serving, because they intuitively wanted more of that item.

I have been considering it, because on several occasions recently, I had a munch on more than a serving of dry cereal, fruit and fibre, to be precise, to the sum of around 700 calories (I am pretty much maintaining as I am not overweight, so it was no more than the equivalent of a large breakfast really) and felt instant guilt... like, 'normal' people are supposed to put it in a bowl, all 30g of it, with milk, and that is that. Maybe I spend too much time reading these forums, and the various posts where someone has binged, and the responses.

So, how does everyone else view the use of the word 'binge' and how does one remove the negative feelings of shame and self disgust associated with it ?

Slacker16

The word 'binge' has two meanings, one clinical and one colloquial. I use both and the meaning is usually clear from the context.

IMO, a 'binge' in the clinical sense of the term is a temporary but complete loss of control. It's not necessarily eating too many calories but eating without feeling like you're in control of yourself while doing it. I've had the pleasure, and it's very weird. In the colloquial sense of the term, a 'binge' is simply eating too much, or too much at once.

Both can cause shame and guilt, but only the former ever caused (me) to go "dafuq is wrong with me?"

As for removing the feelings associated with it, I can only speak for my own experience that having a regular and controlled "treat day" where I definitely overeat... while remaining in control of myself and enjoying my food and drink helped me a lot. Taught me to enjoy overeating on occasion in a responsible way.

GertrudeHorse

I think it helps to completely remove any sense of morality associated with eating. Food fuels your body. There is no good food or bad food. There are just different types of fuel: carbs, protein and fat. That sort of framing has helped me remove a lot of guilt and shame associated with overeating.

Also try considering how you would react if your best friend had eaten what you just ate. Would you judge or chastise them? Would you make them feel guilty? I don't think most people would but somehow we think it's okay to be so harsh on ourselves. Learn to be your own best friend.

Graelwyn75

The word 'binge' has two meanings, one clinical and one colloquial. I use both and the meaning is usually clear from the context.

IMO, a 'binge' in the clinical sense of the term is a temporary but complete loss of control. It's not necessarily eating too many calories but eating without feeling like you're in control of yourself while doing it. I've had the pleasure, and it's very weird. In the colloquial sense of the term, a 'binge' is simply eating too much, or too much at once.

Both can cause shame and guilt, but only the former ever caused (me) to go "dafuq is wrong with me?"

As for removing the feelings associated with it, I can only speak for my own experience that having a regular and controlled "treat day" where I definitely overeat... while remaining in control of myself and enjoying my food and drink helped me a lot. Taught me to enjoy overeating on occasion in a responsible way.

That sounds like a good idea. I very, very rarely feel out of control of my eating these days, but sometimes, simply having more than one might consider 'normal' of something, can trigger that sense of, uh oh, did I do something wrong? Have I been a pig ?

Graelwyn75

I think it helps to completely remove any sense of morality associated with eating. Food fuels your body. There is no good food or bad food. There are just different types of fuel: carbs, protein and fat. That sort of framing has helped me remove a lot of guilt and shame associated with overeating.

Also try considering how you would react if your best friend had eaten what you just ate. Would you judge or chastise them? Would you make them feel guilty? I don't think most people would but somehow we think it's okay to be so harsh on ourselves. Learn to be your own best friend.

Yes, this is true. I would never be negative towards a friend who had experienced a lapse, or eaten more of something than they thought right. There is so much negative association with food these days, with it often being a media focus, that is can be hard to simply view it as food, fuel, nutrition etc, sometimes.

sargessexyone

This to me is a very interesting question, mainly because I had never really though about it before. I think I would have to agree with waster01 and the 2 definitions or types of binges.

I have done both. Sometimes even on the same day. However, even though I feel guilty and ashamed I don't allow myself to wallow in it. Everyday you wake up with a clean slate.

I am also a firm believer in "cheat" days or meals. I feel that the less you can deny yourself the more you can control the binges.

GertrudeHorse

Yes, this is true. I would never be negative towards a friend who had experienced a lapse, or eaten more of something than they thought right. There is so much negative association with food these days, with it often being a media focus, that is can be hard to simply view it as food, fuel, nutrition etc, sometimes.

Agreed. I don't think it's easy and I definitely fall back into guilt patterns as well.

I actually think this is part of what I find so problematic about "cheat" days or meals. No one is, IMO, in a monogamous relationship with "healthy" food and therefore no one is cheating when they indulge in food they have defined as "bad". I feel that food is one of life's great pleasures and no one wins if you forbid yourself from indulging in that pleasure. Challenge the idea that self-sacrifice is the path to salvation!

laurie04427

Probably TMI... but for me, going to a bar and planning to have two beers with a meal and instead drinking 7 with no food is a binge. Because I hadn't planned it and I get carried away. Yeah I know we are talking about food but that's my current binge issue. So if I plan for 7 because I know I'm going out, I have to center my whole day around the thing. Not sure if this is the same for some people with food but I expect it is.

girldownsouth

For me a binge is eating that has no purpose (and I don't even just mean hunger here, enjoying a big meal in a social situation, or having some nice snacks when you plan a relaxing night in is a purpose too IMO), and leaves you feeling bad (physically, not emotionally). In the past, and thankfully not for many months I've very deliberately gone out and bought excess amounts of food like crisps /sweets/fast food and eating to a point of real discomfort that has made me feel terrible. That's what I consider a binge. I also think binging is something done in secret normally. If I have a big meal out with people, eat a bit more because I'm having a hungry, or even just snacky day I don't consider that a binge, so it doesn't affect me.

AliceRoseHooperAC

This!!!!

Essentially, it will always come back to the cliche of what society thinks is right - i.e. that people should only eat so much, because they are expected to look a certain way...which is boring but true I'm afraid!

ps fruit and fibre is brilliant hahaha i love it.

81Katz

To me, a binge is emotionally driven, usually coming from a bad place, then ending with emotional beat-ups of ourselves (guilt, shame, regret, disgust, panic,etc) and usually these feelings set up the next binge because we begin to feel lower and lower about ourselves and our behaviors.

To me, a binge is not eating 70 calories over goal because you ate 2 Oreo's. Sure, maybe someone feels guilt about it, but that's not a binge.. to me.

To me, "cheat meals" are also not a binge.

For some, they don't care what it's called. That's ok too. We're all different.

twinteensmom

I am an emotional over-eater so, I tend to think of binges as the result of some out of control emotion. If I am sad or mad or depressed or whatever and go crazy with food, that is(to me) a binge. If, on the other hand, I have given myself permission to overeat or if I overeat something and it is not because of emotions but, because I was hungry and didn't allow room for the calories, then that is NOT a binge; rather that is simply overeating.

mfoulkebrown

Probably TMI... but for me, going to a bar and planning to have two beers with a meal and instead drinking 7 with no food is a binge. Because I hadn't planned it and I get carried away. Yeah I know we are talking about food but that's my current binge issue. So if I plan for 7 because I know I'm going out, I have to center my whole day around the thing. Not sure if this is the same for some people with food but I expect it is.

I struggle with this same thing, but with food. I have learned that I have very little control when good food is placed in front of me. If I go to a Mexican restaurant, planning on eating a certain amount of chips and salsa (fitting it into my daily plan), I will almost always over eat.

attackhamster

For me, a binge is when I feel unable to control my eating and feel a lot of shame about it. If I can fit a binge into my caloric intake for the day, great, but that doesn't mean I didn't get out of control.

Graelwyn75

Thanks for the interesting responses, guys.

easjer

When I was in the grips of Binge Eating Disorder, I had no control over myself. I would feel sick, and not even really want another candy bar, even as I was opening it and putting it in my mouth. It was directly tied to emotion for me, not to anything physical. A lot of things in my life were out of control and eating was something that made me feel marginally better for a short period of time and felt like something I could control. I couldn't. I would just continue to eat and to eat and to eat. I would eat to the point I physically couldn't eat any longer without being physically ill because I couldn't stop.

That is different from what a lot of people colloquially refer to as binging. Obviously, it was a medical/psychological disorder. I still over-eat on occasion, especially in times of high stress or high emotion, but I no longer binge as I used to do.

These days, I would refer to a binge (for myself) as over-eating or eating in excess of what is reasonable. This weekend, I had a very, very, very, very, very bad night and the next day was rough. I would consider the four chocolate marshmallow eggs I ate to be excessive and some might refer to that as a binge, though I probably wouldn't. In the end, I didn't feel guilt, because I choose deliberately to eat them (and they fit within my calorie allowance for the day, if not my macros).

For me, at this point in time, it's important for me to be active in my eating choices. I actively choose to eat something. I don't passively eat any longer - no mindless grazing, no grabbing handfuls of things while I'm doing something else, no eating because it's there. I make a decision to eat something and either work it into my allowances for the day (whether that is changing my plans for dinner and taking smaller portions or working out for an extra ten minutes or whatever), or I accept that I will have a smaller deficit that day (it often balances out - and sometimes it is WORTH a smaller deficit) or I don't eat it. No more guilt - by taking an active stance, I already cut out a lot of things. Donuts in the breakroom? Meh, that's not special - if I'm going to eat donuts, I'd rather stop by the donut store near the park and get fresh donuts to enjoy with my daughter on the weekend. The cake my colleague makes once a year for our director's birthday? Worth it - I'll take a smaller piece and skip fruit at dinner. Or something.

It's taken me YEARS to get to this point.

AliceDark

Interesting discussion! I'm a bit of a language nerd and I have a bit of a problem with people co-opting ED language to describe normal eating patterns. (Just to be clear, I'm not saying that you're doing this at all. I'm enjoying reading the responses.)

I'm talking about those threads where girls say "Omg, I binged soooo hard and ate 2 Oreos and now I feel soooo fat!" Or the under-1200 threads where the first reaction is usually "you're so anorexic!" Those words have power and they carry a lot of baggage for a lot of people, and using them out of context drags all of that baggage into the conversation where it doesn't necessarily belong. It's important for people to learn that healthy eating patterns can be flexible enough to accomodate some extra Oreos, and it's difficult for that lesson to sink in when we're using a word to describe it ("binge") that also means "dangerously out of control eating."

I think it also makes it more difficult when people using the colloquial definitions encounter someone with the actual disorder. If we all accept that 2 Oreos = binge, how do we interact with someone who actually has binge-eating disorder? It seems likely that the person with the disorder is going to get some bad advice or some very triggering advice just based on the fact that they're using the clinical definition and other people aren't.

/soapbox

In terms of your question, I think that if you're associating the word "binge" with guilt, shame and/or feelings of being out of control, I would definitely find another word to use. Personally, I like the word "splurge" because it has some positive connotations. Splurges are healthy and good for your soul, and they're things you're supposed to enjoy. "Treat" would probably work too (although I'm not a fan of it -- in my house, the dog and the cat get treats when they're good. The people just get food.)

ladykaisa

When I was in the grips of Binge Eating Disorder, I had no control over myself. I would feel sick, and not even really want another candy bar, even as I was opening it and putting it in my mouth. It was directly tied to emotion for me, not to anything physical.

I would just continue to eat and to eat and to eat. I would eat to the point I physically couldn't eat any longer without being physically ill because I couldn't stop.

In the worst of my Bulimia, this was basicallly me. I would eat, and eat, and eat... and not enjoy one second of it. I have clear memories about crying... no, sobbing... while spooning food into my mouth, finding the exact opposite of pleasure. And I would eat until I either 1. Became physically ill or 2. Made myself vomit. (which was the end goal either way). The purging, after time, became a thing of shame, and reinforced the "overeating is shameful" belief.

That's how I define "binge". If food is entering my mouth that I 1. don't physically need and 2. Am not enjoying whatsoever. It must meet both those criteria before it's labelled "binge" for me.

If I need to eat but don't enjoy it, ie for a run, for a workout, or to meet my minimum calorie goals, I eat.
If I'm enjoying that peanut butter sammich or full rack of ribs that will put me over my allotment but *loving* every minute of it, it's fine. I'll just have a nice long run later to balance out.

It's taken me years to get to this point, and to try not to shame myself after I over-eat. Positive food choices and keeping MFP open *all* the time help, but if I can work a chocolate bar into my day and still have a large portion of my choices as positive, healthy choices, I am *so done* with shaming myself over it.

No_Finish_Line

But I sometimes wonder, is calling this behaviour a binge and putting very negative associations on it, a healthy thing?

maybe not, but choking down an entire box of oreos after my stomach already hurts from the ice cream and donuts is probably more unhealthy lol

spaingirl2011

Last night was my birthday and I ate several pieces of garlic bread, most of my cheesy-creamy pasta and two pieces of cake. I was definitely bloated by the end of that. That was a binge for me--a planned binge--but a binge as I ate way more than I normally considered reasonable.

Sometimes, I have days where I can't seem to stop eating. Those days I have to step back and see that it's either some emotion I don't want to deal with or my mind is getting fatigued from the calorie-deficit thing. Usually, unless it's like what I did on my birthday--which was pure indulgence, binging is a symptom, not a disease for me.

Good discussion!

diannethegeek

I ate a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies last night. They did not fit my calories or macros and they were well above and beyond what I should have eaten for the day. I did not eat them because I was hungry. I ate them because I was bored and they were there. But I don't consider it a binge because I made the choice to leave them beside me while I was reading. I was conscious of moving cookie to mouth each time. And I could have stopped myself and chose not to. That's not a decision I'm proud of, but it is what it is and I don't consider it a binge.

Binging, for me, has an element of self-harm to it. For me, binging is eating beyond just discomfort. It's emotional, it's not a conscious decision, and it's sometimes painful. Binging, again for me, comes with a little voice at the back of my head begging me to stop. It's like watching someone else take control of my body and start eating. It's an all-consuming need to find more food, to make more food, to fit more food inside of me. And it's something that's hard to explain unless someone has experienced it.