Not obese but still frustrated!

izzyxoxbaby

Hi, this is my first time joining a weight loss website. I'm honestly not even sure if this is the right place to post these words.

I'm 20 and Korean. I was fairly skinny as a child but I ate more junk food then nutritional food. I guess as I grew up, it really changed my body type. I would never gain weight as a child.( Probably cause I was so active too.)

Starting from 8th grade my friends told me I gained some weight. When I say I gained some weight..I'm not talking chubby or anything. I just went from a stick to a plum Asian girl?. Not even chubby. I think puberty took a toll on me. Ever since then, I am thinking about food and my weight 24/7 except for when I sleep. I don't think that my weight is at a unhealthy level. I am 5'6 and 130. I go from 120-130. HATE IT. I feel so frustrated. I have tried almost everything. I've tried diet pills, carboxyl, laser, ppc injections, throwing up, detox, and now I am considering taking Adderall. I just can't get a hold of it. You know when people get sick, they lose weight...there was a time when I was really sick,,,and I felt MISERABLE...but just because I lost two pounds..I wanted to stay sick as long as possible. I hate my body. I feel disgusted. I think I really need some mental help cause...I know deep down I look perfectly fine. It's just my damn insecurity. Are we all on the same page here...or are you guys really physically obese. Maybe I should sign up at a mentally disabled website not this oen huh? I'm just really depressed..but I like food so much. The mo ment I eat..i feel like a monster but I'm so happy. Help! talk to me. I lost weight when I took diet pills..but I got SO sick..like nauseated. Any other good recommendations?