Vegetarian dilemma

emma1488

So I've recently become vegetarian...today is my 7th day.
Tonight mum made fried rice, she said she was gonna put some aside without meat but didn't.
She said 'you can just pick it out'...
I said no and she rolled her eyes and huffed.
I should have said no right?
Has anyone else been faced with a similar situation?

mangorabbit

Congrats on your choice. May I ask what the reasoning is/was for the shift? (Just to get an idea of where parent's minds may be on said issue).

In regards to the dinner, it is entirely your call how strict you want to be with what you eat. I can completely understand not wanting fried rice that has been cooked with meat, that is a flavor (and of course some meat particles) that would permeate the entire dish.

Do what you can, be patient with the parents, and perhaps, if it is a point of contention, offer to help with the meal making to ensure that you have things that are ok for you to eat?

Best of luck!
^_^

KarenWantsABikini

Hi Emma,

My 14 year old daughter became vegetarian about 6 months ago. At first we thought she was just doing it because other kids were, and it would pass, but she has really stuck to it and has firm beliefs about not eating meat, and we, as her parents really respect that.

I tried asking her to pick out meat items from meals i made, and she was really turned off by the fact that the food had "touched" the meat.

If i make say fried rice, or risotto eg... I will serve hers up first, then add meat... it gets easier.

I quite often make two meals these days, one veg and one meat meal.

sometime we all eat veg one night a week and its easier.

However, it gets easier over time, you can always make up a tray of say vegetarian lasagna, or veg fried rice, etc, freeze it in individual portions, or zip lock bags, makes life really easy.

Mum will understand your requests, and it does get easier...

Good luck Emma

emma1488

My reasoning to turn vego is ethical/not wanting to be responsible for an animals death...

Mum and dad are actually quite good. We often eat fully vego meals through the week. I guess I just wasn't sure whether I was being over the top. But I think I want to have a no meat at approach.

borgi77

Hey Emma, I been a veggie for over 22 years & I do not think you over reacted. i am pretty strict as I research everything I eat, but I think what you did is acceptable my parents know I would never do that they wouldn't even offer it to me!

Your parents just need time to adjust, by not eating meat, your also helping the environment too & not killing animals. Everyone is different maybe your mum was just annoyed she forgot.

Good luck and well done on making a great choice

Anth

mangorabbit

Kudos on your choice, it can be tough!

Excellent ideas put forth - and having something stashed as a standby meal is always a great option for those days when brain-farts happen.

Best of luck, and enjoy!

Dom_m

I've been vegan for 10 years. My experience is that if you're consistent about it, people will respect your position more than if you make regular exceptions. The most important part with dealing with your parents is to be polite about it. If they've made a meal for you and forgotten you wont eat meat (its only been a week, it'll take them time to remember to think about it) there's no need to antagonise them by just turning up your nose at it. The best thing is to apologise for not eating it and put something together real quick so you can still eat with them.

If you do that once or twice, most likely they'll remember next time (or realise you're actually serious about it if that's the problem).

Good luck, and well done realising that your actions have ethical implications! (most people never do)

kayemme

So I've recently become vegetarian...today is my 7th day.
Tonight mum made fried rice, she said she was gonna put some aside without meat but didn't.
She said 'you can just pick it out'...
I said no and she rolled her eyes and huffed.
I should have said no right?
Has anyone else been faced with a similar situation?

you have the right to not eat it; you also have the right to cook it yourself. she probably thinks it's a phase. if it were me, i'd offer more help in the kitchen to control my food intake.

Beth720

you have the right to not eat it; you also have the right to cook it yourself. she probably thinks it's a phase. if it were me, i'd offer more help in the kitchen to control my food intake.

Pretty much what she said. When my sister or I had issues with whatever our mom cooked for dinner, we were shown where things were in the kitchen and told we were more than welcome to make our own food and clean up our own mess.

Making choices for whatever reason is cool, but you need to take responsibility for them. If that means making your own food, so be it. If you're old enough to make the choice, you're old enough to make your own meals.

Just mho.

rml_16

So I've recently become vegetarian...today is my 7th day.
Tonight mum made fried rice, she said she was gonna put some aside without meat but didn't.
She said 'you can just pick it out'...
I said no and she rolled her eyes and huffed.
I should have said no right?
Has anyone else been faced with a similar situation?

My whole reason for being vegetarian is moral, so picking out the meat generally isn't an option. I would rather that someone who eats it eat it than it go to waste. I have had to do it in restaurants. You'll find that if you ask for something like potato soup without the bacon, a lot of places have the bacon mixed in and not just sprinkled on top, but the waitstaff "forgets" to mention that until the bowl of soup is sitting in front of you. In that situation, since I know it's going to be tossed anyway, I will pick it out and eat the soup.

I will say, though, that if you want to be vegetarian and the people around you are not, you should probably start doing your own cooking.

emma1488

Thanks guys for ur advice.

Please don't get me wrong about not being appreciative of mums cooking. I know how good I've got it and do very often cook my own and the rest of the families meals;)

i think my main concern, and as someone pointed out was that, if I make an exception this time, would it a) make it harder for me to say no in the future and b) other people thinking I'm not that serious about the whole thing.

kayemme

i would say that if you're really serious about it, then you should just cook your own meals and offer to cook vegetarian meals for the family.. that would show how serious you are.

having a vegetarian boyfriend and myself not being a vegetarian, there are certain things i do in the kitchen like make sure all meat areas are cleaned up properly as to not "infect" his cooking space. we don't often have meat in the house, but occasionally friends will forget that he is a vegetarian and we live a vegetarian lifestyle because we're not "uberfreaks" about it, so it's easy to forget.

in that case, i just make sure nothing touches anything and that the area used for cutting meat is sanitized with vinegar and hot water. you can be a vegetarian and not be rude about it. it takes more work sometimes, but that work proves that it's important to you without you having to say it with words.

be steadfast and dedicated and offer help wherever you can and then you will be taken seriously.

kayemme

what you can do also is if your mom asks you to "just pick it out" explain kindly that you appreciate her work and thank her for her time, but you would rather contribute your portion back to the family pot. someone else can eat it tomorrow.

it's really up to you. and you have to be secure in your decision as well - if you love meatballs and your mom prepares meatballs are you going to have one despite your choice to not eat meat?

what i do is eat a primarily vegetarian diet, often going months in between having meats. if someone invites me to dinner and makes me a meal and it has meat in it, i won't complain. i will take it gracefully and at an appropriate time discuss with them why i choose to not typically eat meat, or the primary concerns of my diet.

but i find what is more interesting and far more fun is to invite friends over for vegetarian meals without mentioning the fact that they are vegetarian. i just invite them over for "dinner" and cook up something really interesting and different for them to try. in that way, maybe i persuade a person to eat less meat or at minimum try new things without meat.

i have always found that action is more powerful than words. so best of luck to you with it and if it were me, i'd just take it case by case and not worry too much about what someone else thinks.

elloradannon

I have had instances where I've had to pick things out, especially at parties. There might be a pasta salad with chunks of cheese and I just try to grab a serving without the cheese. My parents were all worried this summer when we went to visit. We just went to the store and got some soy milk, tempeh, tofu, etc. That made it easier to make substitutions. Also, my MIL comes over quite often and I always cook a big delicious vegan dish... then she's like "Oh, this tastes just like regular tacos" and realizes it isn't so crazy. She's even started to buy soy products now in place of meat herself! Maybe you could buy a few vegetarian staples to keep at their house in the freezer or whatever so you have something to eat in case that happens again? They will get used to it after a while! Hang in there