Why do YOU have a weight problem?

Lisa1971

Well, besides the obvious of eating too much and exercising too little. For me, I can remember a cousin of mine exercising to extreme and not eating at all. We both weighed about 110lbs and she kept saying "We are SOOOOOOOO fat" and I believed her. I was about 16. Then when I was 21 I remember getting on the scale and thinking that 115lbs at 5'4 was HUGE. I kept thinking back to my cousin Amy's comments about how fat and huge we were. I would literally jog for miles with 2lb weights on my ankles and then we would throw our food out or give it to the dog. We did this for days. I hated it but I believed her. I really think this is the start of my fight with food. I no longer speak to Amy. Last I heard she was living in Florida and is a raging alcoholic at 39 years of age. I also heard she's anorexic and can easily consume a case of beer a night. Yes, I said a case.

So I am trying to "forgive" her for telling me for years how fat and huge I was. I am trying to look in the mirror and see myself how I did when I was 22. I was thin but didn't accept it. So I'd eat to cover my guilt and the vicious cycle started. I am the only fat person in my entire family. My mom is a size 4 and my dad and brothers are all thin.

Thank God I have my mom in my life. She is my biggest supporter of my weight loss journey. I just recently told her about how Amy would badger me and constantly criticize me and she was sad and shocked by it. She wishes I would've told her. No matter how many times I fail or how many lbs I gain my mom is right there beside me to cheer me on and give me encouragement.

So I was just wondering if there is something in your life that caused you to make bad choices. All the weight loss experts say that it's more than a food thing. People eat to cover something emotionally. Please share if you feel like it and if you don't then that's fine too. I wish all of you the very best of luck on your weight loss journey and we're all in this together!!

Lisa

RaggedyPond

Too lazy to exercise

mariasheehan

I'm sorry to read about your story, that is very sad indeed. You have to pity your cousin really, she probably didn't realize the life time damage she was doing back then to both of you. I applaud you for trying to change things and starting your weight loss journey. I had a baby 10 months ago and just put her before everything else including myself, I didn't look after myself and put on lots of weight. Now I'm going to take care of me and look after my health for the sake of my baby and my family.

I wish you every success x

nurseandi

I love to eat. I love on the biggest loser when people have to make excuses for loving food,eating too much, and being lazy. nope, i just love food.

SP0472

I posted this on another thread here on MFP but will repost it here...my story is one that needs to be told - people in this situation need to know that they're not alone and that you CAN turn your life around...

*******

I do have my own story that for a LONG time I denied to myself as being the reason why I now weigh 340lbs. For as long as I can remember in my childhood until the time I was 15 I was sexually abused daily by my uncle. He was my mother's older brother. My mother didnt believe it was happening and when I'd refuse to let him in the house when I was alone, he'd complain to her and she'd beat me for it because I was being disrespectful.

Having no control over anything in my life at that time I developed the habit of stuffing my feelings down with food [something that I never changed until now because I never acknowledged it until recently]. I did it after she beat me and after he was finished he always gave me "treats" - cookies, ice cream, cakes. To this day I can't stand the sight or smell of Wrigley Double Mint gum because he always chewed it.

So...that's my story. My family meals were always healthy and well balanced. We rarely had junk food in the house. I was always told how lucky I was because I always got all these great treats from my uncle....if only people understood or listened to me about why he treated me so special....

lutzsher

After watching shows like The Biggest Loser and others I've really tried to figure out how I allowed myself to get over 200 pounds at only 5'4". I have realized that I don't like to be alone and have a compulsion to head to the kitchen and eat during lonely times, which I have now managed to get over, but I have never found anything that was an "event" in my life that lead me to let myself get so out of shape.
The only thing I have managed to figure is that I just followed my parents example, overeating and eating the wrong things, putting my family and work ahead of myself . . . the "typical" stuff . . . not sure if there is anything deeper but just happy that I have now found my footing and am making progress with my health.

TabiHerbalifeCoach

Well, I was thin-ish until I got pregant (at 21) , in my family woman tend to "blow-up" when they get pregnant, looking back I just used that as an excuse, I had my daughter, and don't even remember how much I weighed after I had her, I was too depressed to notice, along with that prior to getting pregant my husband (now ex husband) cheated on me while I was deployed and concieved a child with another woman, so during my pregnancy and after the birth of my daughter we were repairing our marriage. I remained heavy, filing myself with lots of excuses. When my daughter was just over 1 we concieved my son, I was about 1 month pregnant when my husband deployed, I was in Hawaii, active duty myself, with a toddler and on shift work, amazingly enough I managed to loose weight (in a healthy manner) while pregnant- * I don't advocate diets or intese work outs while pregnant, I just made better-healhier choices while pregnat, I only lost about 5lbs* My husband returned just before my son was born, after my son was born my marriage took a very unexpected turn for the worse, my husband had several problems from the war, which caused a lot of fights- I would have stayed forever if that was just it, cause he was trying and we were getting through it, but he turned to other woman again, this time it was through the computer, he becoming verbally and emotionally abusive When my son was 9 months old I discoved a chat conversation between him and another woman, they had web-sex, my kids were home and awake- he had locked my 9 month old son, and my 2 year old daughter out of our bedroom in a 2 story house for over 45 min while doing all of this. That was my breaking point I kicked him out, and started to get healthy, I went from 230 to 170 then I moved to maryland we tried to save our marriage again, but he refused to give up his "friendship" with one of the woman he had an online affair with, that decision ultimately ended our marriage, by this time I had dropped another 10 lbs, I was down to 160, between November of 09 and March of 10 I got back up to 180, my ex had moved in with said "friend" he refused to give up continuesously put her above our children, and my divorce became final I slipped into a depression, wasn't working out, wasn't eating right, wasn't playing with my kids, April 2010 I woke up and realized, I was worth more than that, and the subconciously, my marriage fell apart when I lost the first set of weight, so I was sitting weighting for my ex to come back, I decided I didn't want him back, and really evaulated myself and my life what I wanted and what I needed, and made the changes. Now I have worked through my feeling regarding my ex, my divorce, and his new girlfriend, and I also no longer use food to comfort or fill that void. My life hasn't gotten any easier- I'm still active duty, I still chase after two kids by myself and manage everything in their lives on my own, I still have to deal with my ex, his girlfriend, and his choices of her over our children the only difference now is, i know those are his choices, and when it does get to me, I don't turn to food, or fall into the couch.

Lunarokra

Hello I'm Brenda,

I used to be at my ideal weight at 16, then I had my son and I began gaining but during those years I thought I was fat, and maybe I wasn't now that I look back at those pictures. I worked F/T and went to school P/T, and picked up fast food on the go. I finally fuinished in 2008, but I had gained alot of weight which I have been at now. I kept trying South Beach Diet, did ok, but when I would introduce the starches (bread, pasta etc. even if it was whole wheat) I would gain it back.


I attribute my weight gain to my educational career distress, it took me almost 10 yrs to finish my Bachelor's. We went to Hawaii for vacation in July, and looking at myself and seeing how bad I look was the turning point.


Lisa thanks for sharing, and for your encouragement.

jessicajm

I battled eating disorders in high school... when I was PG I over ate because I was so afraid to not eat enough. Wrapped myself in motherhood, didn't care about me... Lazy, loved food.

TheNewJessieMae

Well I too felt fat when I for damn sure wasn't. 135, muscular and athletic. Perfect body. Then had two kids and let myself go. I'd try to lose weight and get scared that I could finish what I started so I quit "on my own terms". So this time I start my weight loss journey and plan not to get scared and stick to it. I started at 168.5. Hope to get to 140-145.
Don't really know what made me think I was fat when I was younger. Maybe having to get bigger clothes than everyone else I was around. But now I realize that was because I was covered in healthy lean muscle and not a stick. I hope to regain that look and be appreciative of it this time.

Ready4Changes

This topic is actually making me think... Thanks lol. I am trying to think back to when my issue with weight started. I was always average size through my teen years. I got married and was a great size. I weighed 135lbs on our wedding day. I am 5'5 1/2 I felt I had a great body. I was always complimented etc. I became pregnant about 9 months after our wedding. I gained about 22 lbs and had our first son. I was able to leave the hospital in my size 5 jeans. So many people were mad at me . I loved it and it felt great. No one could believe I just had a baby. This was almost 18 years ago now sigh...

During the next 4-5 years I became mom, wife and also worked a full time job. I don;t know if this subconsciously made me wat to eat or time became an issue. We did not have alot of money so we ate alot of junk and never had money to buy too much. I maybe gained about 20 lbs in the next 4-5 years. I then had our 2nd son. So I know by the time I delivered him I went up to about 175. I remember being crushed at how heavy I was. He was a big baby and I did not get back into my skinny jeans ever again. lol. He was very cranky. I had both my boys in day care and as much as I wanted to go back to work maybe I felt like I was a bad mom. I am not sure. I had to go back to work immediately after he was born. Literally I gave birth on a Friday and was back to work on Monday. I had no choice. I could not afford to be out of work.

I pretty much stayed at this weight maybe down to 165 when I became pregnant again . We had our third son ( and last ) woohoo lol. Oh by the way my 2nd son was only 4 months old when I found out I was pregnant. OMG !!! I was just over 200 lbs at my full 9 months and remember again looking at the scale in disbelief that I actually had gotten over 200.

I lost about 50 lbs about a year or two later. I felt and looked great. Then gradually over the next 10 years life became hectic. Car pools, teacher conferences, managing 3 boys and a husband lol cooking, cleaning, working full time, stress and just losing who I was in all this . We started to eat out almost every day. Pizza, Mcd, BK gradually moving on Outback, and more expensive. We got to a point that We were sometimes eating out 3 x a day. NOT GOOD. and expensive. No wonder we never had money. We would spend easy $ 100 in a day of eating out with 5 people. Not realizing what we were doing at the time cause we didnt care just living day to day.

About a year ago my husband and I made a commitment to get back to what we were. He only had about 30 lbs to lose. I had 100. I just co,pletely let myself go. My entire family is morbidly obese and I do not want to join that club.

I feel I have been on a path for a year. We were both put on weight loss medication by our dr. It worked great. My husband a year later is still as thin as the day we married sigh. I became very sick about 3 months after we made our pact. I was not allowed to take the medication and the meds for an infection I had at the same time. I never went back to the program. I became upset and depressed and put my 15 lbs I lost back on. My husband kept his bargain and I couldnt. I felt I let him down. So up and down I went on the scale and Now I have committed about 2 months ago that I am doing this come hell or high water lol. I have lost 17 lbs and hope to keep it up with all the support of my friends on MFP.

Sorry for such a long post . lol Didn't realize it as I was writing...

just4peachy

I love food, almost all food. Sweet, salty, spicy, cheesy, all of it. Potatoes are my favorite food group. I was diagonsed with asthma as a child and my mother is (even now) rather over protective. I have impulse control issues. I started smoking as a teenager (my quit day is Monday, October 4th- yes that's next week). Massive post-partum depression complicated by a very ill baby (who is now a perfectly healthy 2nd grader). I've been having a torrid love affair with my couch for several years.

Food + asthma + impulsivity + smoker + PPD + LAZY = I'm lucky I've not gained more weight than I have!!

Ellem86

Thanks to everyone for sharing.

I remember looking in the mirror and thinking I was fat when I was 8 years old, so I think it's safe to say I have always had a problem with my weight and food. I don't know why, that's just the way it's always been. I spent the entirety of my teenage years on some kind of diet, binging and abusing "slimming" pills. The worst was probably from about 12 to 15 when I used to take between 20 and 40 laxatives a night to get thin. The sad thing is I have never really been seriously overweight. The most I have ever weighed is probably 150 pounds. My focus now is on being fit, strong and healthy and working on my mental image of myself.

Scorpiomom222

Wow. That sounds borderline obsessive. lol I ran obsessively when I was 16. 3-4 miles a day, and didn't feel complete without running that day. I didn't think I was fat(125 pounds), but I knew I could be in better shape. Well, I got pregnant the spring after turning 16, and fell out of running and being fit. I have never eaten healthy before. I didn't think I needed to, cuz I had a fast metabolism and with running and lifting weights during gym class, I could burn the bad cals away. So, the shape I'm in now is all down to my eating habits, and I'm here to start running again, and tightening my abs. Would you recommend tying 2 lb weights to your ankles today? I think that would help tone my legs. What do you think?

redhotsmacker

For me....becoming comfortable in my relationship leading to not having a care in the world as to how I looked. I always just figured I would be big, so I didn't care what went in my mouth...

Now, I can see how much confidence it has brought me just by losing that I have opted to feel this way everyday and lead a healthy lifestyle!

rdale8200

Weight has been an issue my entire life. I am the youngest of four, my parents had me later in life and my mom always blames herself because she thinks they didn't do enough activities with me. The only thing I can think that she could have improved was healthier meals but otherwise it is all me. I grew p in a fat family and we didn't think anything of it. Even though I am large I easily make friends and I was very outgoing in high school. Despite my weight I did Tae Kwon Do for 10 years and earned my Brown belt. Now looking back i see that if I had eaten healthier then I wouldn't weigh what I do now but the past is in the past. I guess a love of food and poor coping habits would be why I'm fat. I also have bi-polar disorder and PMDD, so my mood is always changing and I end up giving up on dieting, have a really crappy week and ten feel guilty and give up. At 256lbs at the age of 23, I'm tired of this and I want to be able to play with my daughter especially now that she is walking and I know running is just around the corner. Good luck everyone!

Scorpiomom222

I posted this on another thread here on MFP but will repost it here...my story is one that needs to be told - people in this situation need to know that they're not alone and that you CAN turn your life around...

*******

I do have my own story that for a LONG time I denied to myself as being the reason why I now weigh 340lbs. For as long as I can remember in my childhood until the time I was 15 I was sexually abused daily by my uncle. He was my mother's older brother. My mother didnt believe it was happening and when I'd refuse to let him in the house when I was alone, he'd complain to her and she'd beat me for it because I was being disrespectful.

Having no control over anything in my life at that time I developed the habit of stuffing my feelings down with food [something that I never changed until now because I never acknowledged it until recently]. I did it after she beat me and after he was finished he always gave me "treats" - cookies, ice cream, cakes. To this day I can't stand the sight or smell of Wrigley Double Mint gum because he always chewed it.

So...that's my story. My family meals were always healthy and well balanced. We rarely had junk food in the house. I was always told how lucky I was because I always got all these great treats from my uncle....if only people understood or listened to me about why he treated me so special....

I get what you mean. I was sexually abused by my mom's ex. He was mystepdad at the time. We just went through the third trial to keep him put away this past July. Instead of eating, I stuffed my feelings down into my feet and ran, ran, ran. I was literally running from my problems. He bought me stuff that my sisters never got. I was his favorite. I was 12-15 yrs old when it all was happening. I get how you felt, but I just dealt with it in a different way. I wasn't going to say anything about my abuse, cuz I didn't know if I would be judged but I'm glad you spoke up. Thank you.

TabiHerbalifeCoach

Well, besides the obvious of eating too much and exercising too little. For me, I can remember a cousin of mine exercising to extreme and not eating at all. We both weighed about 110lbs and she kept saying "We are SOOOOOOOO fat" and I believed her. I was about 16. Then when I was 21 I remember getting on the scale and thinking that 115lbs at 5'4 was HUGE. I kept thinking back to my cousin Amy's comments about how fat and huge we were. I would literally jog for miles with 2lb weights on my ankles and then we would throw our food out or give it to the dog. We did this for days. I hated it but I believed her. I really think this is the start of my fight with food. I no longer speak to Amy. Last I heard she was living in Florida and is a raging alcoholic at 39 years of age. I also heard she's anorexic and can easily consume a case of beer a night. Yes, I said a case.

So I am trying to "forgive" her for telling me for years how fat and huge I was. I am trying to look in the mirror and see myself how I did when I was 22. I was thin but didn't accept it. So I'd eat to cover my guilt and the vicious cycle started. I am the only fat person in my entire family. My mom is a size 4 and my dad and brothers are all thin.

Thank God I have my mom in my life. She is my biggest supporter of my weight loss journey. I just recently told her about how Amy would badger me and constantly criticize me and she was sad and shocked by it. She wishes I would've told her. No matter how many times I fail or how many lbs I gain my mom is right there beside me to cheer me on and give me encouragement.

So I was just wondering if there is something in your life that caused you to make bad choices. All the weight loss experts say that it's more than a food thing. People eat to cover something emotionally. Please share if you feel like it and if you don't then that's fine too. I wish all of you the very best of luck on your weight loss journey and we're all in this together!!

Lisa

I too was sexually abused, by my moms boyfriend at 3, and then by her husband (a different man) at 6 and then molested by my own father from 13-18. --- I don't really think that had much to do with my weight but defiantly had a lot to do with why i put up with my ex's bs for all those years. Also my mom didn't believe me either, my aunt made her take me to the doctor to be checked out when her husband raped me, the doctor confirmed it was true. After her doing drugs and being a crappy mother I moved in with my father ( who I had not seen since I was 2) when I was 12, things were great for about a year and then he started having me sleep in his room, and cuddle, and spoon with him, no one in the house said anything, my grandma, aunt and uncle all also lived in the house and they all pretended like nothing was going on. i joined the navy and haven't looked back. As fate or God would have it, they have all passed away due to obeseity related illnesses.

Cina04

I was a very big/chubby baby/toddler because my grandparents feed me too much (my mom was in the Army and had to go overseas so my grandparents took care of me for 4 years)

Once I was living w/ my mom again, she was strict about my food and second or third helpings because of that I wasn't a big child.

Went back to living w/ my grandparents because my mom need help (she was a single mother of 3). Of course she made sure I ate.

Since my sister was smaller than me, I always that I was "fat"

17 I joined the Army and went to basic training before my senior year of High School and lost all of the baby fat and FINALLY had the cute guys looking my way, holding doors, carrying my books, and hanging out w/ the popular kids. Being a Soldier also had something to do with it! LOL The girls didn't want to mess w/ me LOL

18 graduated high school and a week later met my husband. (He proposed about a month after we have been dating - we almost didn't date cause I thought he was too old for me - he is 5 yrs older lol)

I was living the SAHW life and going to my monthly drill weekends. No longer being active since I was out of school slowly put on the lbs. During my husband second deployment (my first time dealing with it). I was pregnant but had a miscarriaged. More and more I turned to food cause I was lonely. But than I joined a semi pro dance team and a fitness gym while working at a Family Fun Center/Pizza buffet.

When we moved to TX that's when I packed on a few more lbs cause I was simply doing NOTHING! Got pregnant again and instead of "blowing up" like I thought I would, I was just all baby. It was after I had my daughter I packed on the pounds (my husband was also deployed at the time).

Moved to KY was pregnant again which I was happy about but dreading even more cause this would mean for sure I would go over 200lbs. Shockingly it was the total opposite. I lost about 20 to 25 lbs. But yet again after I had my 2nd daughter I started to pack on the lbs.

So before I reached 185 again I knew I had to do something and not just accept that this was the way I'm going to look for the rest of my life especially when I'm only 24yrs old!

BigGail

I have no traumas to report - I'm fat because I love food and I allowed myself to eat too much and exercise too little!

superwmn

From my blog:

I can’t speak for everyone because the reasons overweight people abuse food are as unique as people are unique, but I know why I abused food. I could have chosen drugs or gambling or sex addition or whatever, but I chose (primarily) food. Once I discovered the core issue (which funnily enough was in front of my face, manifesting itself in every aspect of my life and every thought in my head), I was able to chose to address the issue instead of eating to avoid the issue.

Why was I abusing food? I was abusing food because of how much, at the core of my being, I hated myself. I was eating to experience, for a fleeting moment, a respite from my CONSTANT self-loathing. That temporary bliss was the only joy I was able to experience in life (or so I thought).

The depths to which I hated myself were too unbearable to acknowledge or feel. One thousand times each day I was confronted with situations where I didn’t measure up, I didn’t have the approval of others, I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t good, I wasn’t beautiful, I wasn’t talented, I wasn’t thin, I wasn’t loveable, and on, and on, and on. The situations were always different but at the core of each situation was the same issue: I didn’t love myself/I was a failure/I wasn’t worthy of love-success-happiness…

My reaction to each of these situations was the same: I would eat to escape. I would feel better. I would finish the food. I would feel worse. Rinse and repeat.

Did eating prevent me from feeling what I was trying not to feel?

No.

Sure, for a moment I could escape through whatever I was eating. I would relish the moment's peace and be thoroughly comforted. But then the frappuccino would be gone, the bag of chips empty, my plate clean, and the feeling that drove me to eat was still there, unaddressed, and compounded by the fact that I now felt TERRIBLE for having over eaten.

By avoiding the primary problem, I created a secondary problem: I was now obese. My weight in turn led to a SLEW of tertiary problems: I couldn’t easily move my body; I was uncomfortable in all clothing that wasn’t made from jersey or stretch material; I was uncomfortable being intimate with my husband; I was uncomfortable being seen in public; I couldn’t cross my legs; etc.

Most importantly, the weight and the issues it created became my SOLE focus. I thought THEY were the REAL issues and had no idea that the PRIMARY issue, the one that had caused this whole mess, was the fact that I did not love myself.

So how did I stop the cycle of hating myself, eating, hating myself for eating, and eating again to have another respite from hating myself?

I finally decided that enough was enough and I wasn’t going to hate myself for one more day.

It wasn’t easy to implement, but I finally decided that I was worthy of my love AS I WAS. I wasn’t going to wait until I fixed every flaw. I was going to love myself even though I was a terrible person, a judgmental person, a smoker, a person with the capacity to be very mean, even though I had a quick temper, even though I didn’t wear the size clothing that I wanted to, even though I didn’t have the approval of the world, and on, and on, and on…

I no longer have to earn my own love. I no longer depend on the love and approval of others to validate me. I love myself as is. Flaws and all.