Feeling Judged by Other Dieters and Non-Dieters

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  • Emerald_light
    Emerald_light Posts: 5
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    Thank-you for all your words of encouragement :) When I first wanted to lose weight my doctor asked if it was for me or if it was for someone else. This journey has been for me and I am very happy with what I have accomplished so far.
    When I first started I was told that as I change, those around me may change as well. I just didn't think it would happen this quickly.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    I also hate it when someone comments on my hair but then not give a real compliment. Like, "Did you color your hair?" (But not say, Oh it looks nice.) REALLY? Sometimes I want to say "oh thank you!" Anyway. Idiots.

    ooh I totally agree!!! That drives me nuts, too.

    As for the original topic...yes, I've experienced this. Most of it has not been DIRECT which is nice. A lot of it has been ME taking things personally that really don't have anything to do with me. For example, my facebook friends sharing photos of their food with comments about Paleo4Life or something...and I'm kinda like, "ugh" or my best friend (who is an awesome woman) commenting about the evils of wheat and sugar etc...makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when we're sitting in a coffeehouse and I am having a pastry made with wheat and sugar LOL

    Most of the people I know and see daily don't pay any attention to what I am doing with regard to eating and exercising, unless it's to say "Wow nice job on losing so much weight, you look great" and I love that.

    I do think a lot of my acquaintances make assumptions that I am doing gluten free, low carb, totally vegan, Paleo, etc. That is their problem.

    I am not sure how long you have been doing this, but for me I have noticed after a year it's gotten a bit easier to just ignore others' comments. Good luck!!
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    When I started my journey, it became common to hear some of my family, friends and co-workers say to me “Are you sure you can eat that on your diet?”or “You can’t have that because you are on a diet”. No matter how much I tried to help them understand that I wasn’t on a diet (I view diets as a short term fix to a long term goal), but that I was working to change my eating habits to make me healthier (I plan to continue with what I am doing until it becomes second nature and a life style), they continued their comments.
    Now that I have started to lose weight the comments are not as frequent but I have noticed that some of my friends who are not active or watch their intake, have cut me out of group outings and ordering take-out. No I’m not one to talk about how many calories/carbs/ etc a meal has. Unless asked, I do not talk to others about what they are eating and whether or not I find it healthy. I’m still the same me, but they treat me like I’m different.
    As I began to lose weight I met other dieters in my work place and community who were very supportive of my goals. Yet as time went on and I found what I feel works for me, I’ve felt as though they judge me for having things that they think I shouldn’t have. I’ll have ice cream, all be it a smaller serving. I’ll eat a small piece of chocolate but whenever I indulge I make sure that I have the ability to and usually do so on a day that I go to the gym. I feel that if I don’t have a salad for every lunch or if I have an item that is too high in carbs they look at me as though I’m doing something wrong.
    I’m sure that I’m not the only one to experience this. But I’m having a hard time with this. Any advice, support or stories would be greatly appreciated :)

    My advice is this: It gets easier as time goes on. (At least that's my experience.)

    I know it hurts / stinks now, but eventually, people come around. You have accepted your changes. They haven't yet. Let them catch up.
    Just stay you, let it go and stay the course... keep moving forward.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Hey!

    Way to make this forum post about you!

    HA! I thought the same thing.
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
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    Just tell people that you eat what ever the hell you want... because you do, you eat way you want according to your goals. Its really none of their business. People still say stupid stuff to me about what I am eating and I always tell them "I eat whatever I want" and they **** their mouths.
  • jkowula
    jkowula Posts: 447
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    When your mindset is changed to "I can have that, but don't want it" as opposed to "I want that, but can't have it" it changes everything. In there somewhere is what you tell people.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    When your mindset is changed to "I can have that, but don't want it" as opposed to "I want that, but can't have it" it changes everything. In there somewhere is what you tell people.

    Excellent quote is excellent.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    When your mindset is changed to "I can have that, but don't want it" as opposed to "I want that, but can't have it" it changes everything. In there somewhere is what you tell people.

    Yeah, I like this.

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