Anorexia recovery

Fenrissa · March 2014

When I was 15, I started to feel self conscious about my body. I compared it to other girls I went to school with and felt insecure. I weighed 140lbs at the time and decided that I was going to lose weight in an effort to get healthier and feel more confident. At first, it started innocently. I cut out pop and replaced it with water, changed my snacks from chocolate to fruit, educating myself on calories/calorie counting, and getting a gym membership. After doing that, I had managed to lose a couple pounds and felt great. I was proud of the changes I was making and I felt more confident.

That was short-lived, though. I became obsessed with counting calories, looking at thinspo, fasting, and over-exercising. During that time, a close family member passed away and things kept getting worse. I lost 50lbs within a short period of time, leaving me weighing only 90lbs at 5'5". I was then diagnosed with anorexia. My family quickly intervened and with their support, I had started gaining weight. I maintained a healthy weight and felt free of disordered thoughts and behaviors for a brief period of time.

Last Summer, I relapsed and ended up at my lowest weight of 80lbs. I was always cold, in pain, tired, and depressed. My anorexia had it's strongest grip on me for the 7 months I was maintaining that weight. After coming home from a friend's house one day, I collapsed and had to be taken to the emergency room. I was told that with the condition my health was in, it was possible for me to be dead within the next few weeks. So, I had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks to gain some weight and be monitored during refeeding because I was at high risk for refeeding syndrome. I was terrified and against the idea of recovery at the time. But soon, I came to tolerate it. Then I came to accept it and finally, to welcome it with open arms. I was done with letting anorexia rule my life for any longer.

Now, I'm back at home and taking recovery day by day. I have a long way to go but I'm determined to get through this. It's been a rough and long journey but it's been the best thing I have ever decided to do for myself. Since gaining 16lbs, I am no longer cold and shivering all the time, my bones don't ache nearly as much, I have energy to go out, I'm gaining confidence, I don't view food as my enemy anymore, I'm getting my feminine figure back, my mind feels clear, and most of all.. I'm happy again.

muzichick · March 2014

Fenrissa, I've never had anorexia, but I used to suffer from disordered eating, so I understand (as much as one can) how all-encompassing food issues can be.

Good for you for working at recovery, and at having a healthy body weight.

postrockandcats · March 2014

That's wonderful! You've come down a long road and I'm glad you're still here to make this post.

suz155 · March 2014

Hardest part for any recovery from dysfunctional eating is attitude. You are doing a good job with that attitude,,,,,hold on to it. Congratulations.

MissySpring · March 2014

Congratulations on finding the path to a healthier you! Wishing you all the best on your journey.

rrsuthy · March 2014

Good for you! Recovery, I'm sure is not easy. I suspect it's very much like an addiction and you have to take it one day at a time.

Best of luck to you.

lilawolf · March 2014

Congratulations! I'm sure that it has been and probably will be a long road, but I'm so glad that you are walking it with the support of your friends and family. Good luck and be strong :flowerforyou:

Fenrissa · March 2014

Thanks everyone!!

EmilyL128 · March 2014

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration and a strong, determined person. I'm glad to hear you are healthy and getting out there enjoying life. All the best xox

SerenaFisher · March 2014

*claps*
Good job girl! I myself have seen that road and it isn't pretty. Life is much better on this road, you are beautiful, you are strong, you already know you've got this.

ROBOTFOOD · March 2014

Major props for your recovery! Looks like your doing great! Keep it up!

Preacher224 · March 2014

Congrats on your recovery. My prayers are with you. Please feel free to ad me as a friend if you like.

emzypemzy93 · March 2014

You're brave to share your story and I wish you the best in the future!!! Well done for making it this far and making a stand against anorexia

JBaby11113 · April 2014

Going through this now. Ugh I almost DONT want to get better though. I dont know where I stand. I just want to feel ok.

toronto_j · April 2014

I can only imagine how difficult it is to recover from an illness like this. Always remember that you are a worthy person who deserves to live a long, healthy and happy life!