Respect - Did you receive more with weight loss?

rcclcruiser
rcclcruiser Posts: 98 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Did you all notice that people respected and engaged with you more after you lost weight?

Replies

  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    Yes I have. Which honestly, surprised me a bit. I generally didn't feel "slighted" before. But, I've noticed even simple things such as people hold the door open for me much, much more often. It's kind of weird LOL.
  • petefromguelph
    petefromguelph Posts: 84 Member
    Im down 17 lbs and I have noticed a difference in people. Might be that I am holding myself with more confidence now though... not sure. I think you attract what you put out... Inside, do you respect yourself more? If so, maybe that's why you are getting it back from others... just a thought I dunno hehe
  • jbee27
    jbee27 Posts: 356 Member
    Yes I have. Which honestly, surprised me a bit. I generally didn't feel "slighted" before. But, I've noticed even simple things such as people hold the door open for me much, much more often. It's kind of weird LOL.

    Yes! I never felt like people were rude to me before, but I'm getting doors held for me, store employees seem to be nicer, etc. Strange.
  • mom2my4boys
    mom2my4boys Posts: 148 Member
    Yes, i have. I was always that "she'd be very pretty if she'd loose some weight" woman. (natural long blond hair, blue eyes, big boobs, stereotypical "pretty") Now, men hold doors for me, wink at me, chat me up at the grocery store ect. I know it should encourage me (for the next 40-50lbs) and i should take it as a compliment but it freaks me out to be honest. (country girl, committed for 17 yrs, 4 kids) In short, yes they (men and women) treat me differently and i haven't decided if i like it, lol.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    not really...I've noticed a few things that are different...like "old friends" that are male are more inclined to engage me but the females not so much...

    Eh whatever...

    *had this happen this weekend...was out for an evening at a dance in my hometown (usually leave town for that stuff) and I had a lot of guys who I knew approach me...whereas the women stayed away...
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I feel that I receive more respect after my loss of 116 lb. However, I have NOT found people to be nicer to me. If anything it is the opposite. I think I previously got a lot of "pity niceness" especially in the workplace and now that's gone. Fine with me -- but it's also quite a strange feeling!

    I do notice women "checking me out" not in a sexual way but like they are comparing, contrasting, sizing me up, and judging my style etc. I didn't notice that hardly ever in the past. I would occasionally get compliments on my bag, haircut, jewelry...but now I really don't get as much of that and I get these looks that I can only describe as "checking me out", but I feel flattered sometimes when the woman doing it is my age or slightly younger and well dressed herself.

    Regarding the opposite sex though...for me, I think that I have a certain type of style (short hair, slightly odd clothes) that seems to attract a certain type of guy regardless of my weight. I have noticed a few guys who don't fit that profile checking me out, so that's new, but in general I received the same amount of male attention even at my heaviest. Either way it really doesn't bug me whatsoever, I am happily married to an amazing man.
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    I never had any issues either way but noticed it with other people.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Did you all notice that people respected and engaged with you more after you lost weight?

    No, but sometimes I'm oblivious ("Sheldon Cooper-ish") about how others perceive me. Since I know how awesome I am, I figure others must see it too. *shrugs*
  • tlcarolinagirl
    tlcarolinagirl Posts: 1,700 Member
    I don't think I get more respect with weight loss. I get more second glances and more attention from the guys, but not more respect. Honestly, since losing weight, I also look about 7-8 years younger, so I am finding that I'm not really taken as serious at work as I was. They treat me more like a kid and even call me that now. I'm not complaining, by any means.
  • eileen0515
    eileen0515 Posts: 408 Member
    I've for the most part, have always had people, be nice to me. I have always been considerate and friendly myself, so usually receive that in return. However...since I became slender, and take care with my fashion and hair. I have had some odd encounters.

    Appreciative glances from men, young ones too, who when they realize I am old enough to be their mother, they look like they are having a little freak out

    More than once I have had women around my age (55) say unkind things to me. I had one woman in line to make a purchase say "Tell me you are a horrible person, so I have a good reason to hate you" Now granted she was kind of, sort of making a joke still it was unsettling.
  • ruffnstuff
    ruffnstuff Posts: 400 Member
    I don't notice any difference in the respect area. But then, at any weight I've always been a pretty confident, self-assured person and I think that is what people respond to with the respect. I know that many, many overweight people are self-conscious or feel bad about themselves and I think others pick up on that vibe. The only real difference I notice is a few more male glances at my *kitten* (but even fat I still got a few looks and I am not any kind of gorgeous!). Again, I think it's related to confidence and how I carry myself.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    I'm definitely getting more attention, but I've never been one to WANT it, so it's actually making me VERY uncomfortable. Definitely getting "checked out" more (but I'm happily married so most of the time I'm just like, eh, thanks, keep it moving).

    I don't know about 'respect', per se, but people are definitely treating me differently. I've actually lost a few friends since I lost all the weight, mainly because they think I'm a "fitness freak" now (LOL! if only they knew!) and talk too much about it.

    Eh, well, if they're that insecure about themselves, not a thing I can do about it...
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Same as before.
  • kestrel359
    kestrel359 Posts: 342 Member
    When I was younger and at my skinniest, I could walk into a job interview and walk out feeling certain I had gotten the job. As I got bigger it got harder to get hired but I thought it was because I was getting older or because the economy had gotten so bad. However, now that I've lost a lot of the weight I am having no problem getting work anymore.
  • knicholeg
    knicholeg Posts: 19 Member
    I'm happier with myself and therefore project that happiness into the world around me. I'm more confident (this could also be with age) and will now strike up a conversation with a complete stranger at the climbing gym. I think that I probably get more respect now, but that's because I make it a point to extend my comfort zone and be kind, friendly, and courteous to everyone I meet, regardless if they're doing the same. I firmly believe you get back what you put out, so if you're respectful to others, they're more likely to show you the same.

    I'm sure before my weight loss if I had done the same thing it would be similar. But the confidence is there where it wasn't before.
  • cstringfellow2013
    cstringfellow2013 Posts: 172 Member
    I had one woman in line to make a purchase say "Tell me you are a horrible person, so I have a good reason to hate you" Now granted she was kind of, sort of making a joke still it was unsettling.

    You should've told her that your great shape is attributed to the pint of baby's blood you drink each morning. SMH. I "get" where she was going with that comment, but yes, completely unsettling.
  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    I've definitely noticed men practically tripping over themselves trying to hold doors open,pick things up, etc. recently.

    Last week at the gym: I had just started my warm-up walk but paused a few minutes in to re-tie a shoelace that was too tight... guy next to me stops mid-run so he can push buttons on MY treadmill so he can "show me how to use it". Um- So I said thanks- I know how to use it, just can't figure out how to re-start from where I was (he cleared it during the button-pushing).

    But still single, so...
  • shellbatronic
    shellbatronic Posts: 193
    Yeah, it's an odd feedback loop. Since losing weight I've gotten further at my job and I do feel like I get treated as if I have proven that I am more confident or competent somehow. I've even developed a reputation as something of a badass (because the guys at work all know about my obstacle runs and heavy lifting and all that) and I definitely think that has opened up some doors to me that were closed tight when I was pushing 340. But I also know I carry myself with more confidence than I did before, and I probably stick my neck out and take more risks professionally as I'm more brave and less terrified of people "seeing" me. Chicken and the egg I guess.
  • gurlygirlrcr80
    gurlygirlrcr80 Posts: 162 Member
    I definitely noticed the difference in people around me and how they talk to me. It's like i've been accepted into a new club of people that use a different language than when i was heavier. Like i've been let in on the secret of thin people....I feel very out of place often when that happens, like I'm not supposed to be there but on the flip side, I've been shunned by many of the heavier people i used to interact with, like now I've abandoned them so I've been kicked out of the club...it's all so confusing...
  • ruffnstuff
    ruffnstuff Posts: 400 Member
    I definitely noticed the difference in people around me and how they talk to me. It's like i've been accepted into a new club of people that use a different language than when i was heavier. Like i've been let in on the secret of thin people....I feel very out of place often when that happens, like I'm not supposed to be there but on the flip side, I've been shunned by many of the heavier people i used to interact with, like now I've abandoned them so I've been kicked out of the club...it's all so confusing...

    That is so weird! Do you find this mostly at work, or with friends, too? What a neat social case study this could be.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    yes, definitely, but most important I respect myself more. I tend to be a pushover and go along and people will definitely take advantage of you. work, family, even good husbands sometimes. I guess they get worried when you look better. I think when you start taking care of yourself in the weight area, you also take care of yourself in relationships. I say No a lot more.
  • shellbatronic
    shellbatronic Posts: 193
    I definitely noticed the difference in people around me and how they talk to me. It's like i've been accepted into a new club of people that use a different language than when i was heavier. Like i've been let in on the secret of thin people....I feel very out of place often when that happens, like I'm not supposed to be there but on the flip side, I've been shunned by many of the heavier people i used to interact with, like now I've abandoned them so I've been kicked out of the club...it's all so confusing...

    OMG I know what you mean! I think the first time I was around some people I didn't know very well and they started making fun of someone's weight around me it totally blew my mind. Like, they were trying to include me in their mocking and I'm totally used to being on the receiving end of that nonsense, it was just completely weird. Since losing weight I feel like I've gotten to see a lot of people for being the jerks they really are, sadly.
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
    I've never been actually overweight, so I honestly kind of find the opposite now. Even my friends tend to treat me like I'm delicate now just because I'm slighter. They mama-bear at dudes who come near me in bars and want to carry stuff for me and that kind of thing, where before everyone just let me take care of myself because I looked, I don't know, sturdier? Haha. I'm not a weak little thing, really, but it's funny how everyone's protective instinct has now kicked in around me because I'm a bit lighter.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I definitely noticed the difference in people around me and how they talk to me. It's like i've been accepted into a new club of people that use a different language than when i was heavier. Like i've been let in on the secret of thin people....I feel very out of place often when that happens, like I'm not supposed to be there but on the flip side, I've been shunned by many of the heavier people i used to interact with, like now I've abandoned them so I've been kicked out of the club...it's all so confusing...

    I've experienced this as well - both sides of it.

    I have noticed that when my best friend introduces me to her other friends ("new" friends) they are really different now. They used to be like, "oh hi" and that's it -- little to no interest in me. I was never bothered by that at all. But now that I'm a more average size, almost every friend she's introduced me to has quickly added me on facebook, invited me to things, and asked me lots of questions about myself and so on. And we're 37...so it's not like I'm talking about teens or college girls here. These are women in their late 20's to mid 40's who are moms, professionals, etc.

    I'm pretty confident and friendly, even when I was heavier - so I really don't think it's ME, but these others' reaction to me. If anything I feel a tiny bit LESS outgoing now because I've embraced my introvert tendencies and I don't work in such a busy office.

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