Feel like I'm over reactting! What do you think?
lmmathis86
Posts: 223 Member
So before I stared my weight loss I had family tell me I was bigger or at my biggest weight ever.....(like I already did'nt know). So January 2014 I stared my life style change and since then I have dropped from 194 to 176 so happy I dont see that big of a change in my body but my husband said he dose. Now the issue....I went to see family that felt the need to commet on my weight (like grandpa who felt he had to ask if i was having a baby last november!) this past week and others who dont see me often at all. No one not one person said anything about the weight loss. I'm not doing this for anyone but me but I really thought family would start noticeing by now. I just feel like how can people commett on the fact that your over weight but be blind to the fact that you loss any! I did tell my husband and his words was" that really sucks and i'm sorry. Please dont get down about it and stop trying cause you look really good and I can see the weight loss I swear i'm not just saying it." He is a big sweet heart but it still bugs the **** out of me that no one else can seee it. Is this stupid am I being a baby about it?!
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Replies
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Did you flip out the first time when they made a comment about your weight?0
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I would really try not to let this bother you. More than likely, the people that commented on your weight did it to hurt you and now they have nothing to say because you are losing. Sometimes people are so self absorbed they don't notice others.
Whatever the reason - if you're doing this for you, that was just another bump in the road. Keep going.0 -
Even follks we love are quick to acknowledge the negative and not the positive. I understand your issue but you are not doing it for them.0
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Did you flip out the first time when they made a comment about your weight?
That was my thought too. Or they realized after (even if you didn't say anything) that they shouldn't have commented on your weight.0 -
^^ exactly.
but anyways
WHO CARES. your hubby sounds awesome. thats all they matters.0 -
just wait till you lose more then they start to worry and think you are starving yourself and think you are out of control but were the main ones complaining some of my friends and fam are like that now they say 50 pounds is enough and then start telling me fact that aint true ... they say if you eat less than 1800- 2000 cals then you are starving yourself smh i take it with a grain of salt ... just keep up the good work they will eventually say something and probably be asking for pointers.0
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If you were at your highest weight ever the last time they saw you, maybe they just remember you smaller. Your husband sees you every day, so he's bound to see the changes in you. Not to mention He's probably paying a bit closer attention to your body :laugh:
Keep up that good work and there won't be a soul who doesn't notice how much you've accomplished!0 -
I agree with previous posters that for people with an agenda to be cruel, they will pass up opportunities to be kind, which even in my family is more accutely apparent. On the otherside, have you shrunk your clothes down to match your newer size. If you are still wearing your biggest size clothes and just managing through the saggy looseness, you are not giving other people the opportunity to really see the improvement. For myself, I hadn't noticed that much change, but was invited to shop my mom's closet recently as she had dropped tons of weight and I was now closer to her "biggest" size at my smaller size. I marveled at the fact that every dress and pants I put on fit like a glove for a size 10 when I have been slouching my way in loose 12/14s for the past month. Better fitting clothes can really highlight the progress. Half the time when someone redresses a person, it is just about getting them in teh correct size to visibly drop 10-20lbs in seconds. I know my hubby is seeing results I can't, but give your family a break as it just may not have been on their wave length of realization - or they might just be mute because you have silenced their cruelty by successfully taking charge of your health. Go you either way - and even shopping at a second hand shop or a friend's closet might be just the ticket to seeing for yourself how much you've progressed.0
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So before I stared my weight loss I had family tell me I was bigger or at my biggest weight ever.....(like I already did'nt know). So January 2014 I stared my life style change and since then I have dropped from 194 to 176 so happy I dont see that big of a change in my body but my husband said he dose. Now the issue....I went to see family that felt the need to commet on my weight (like grandpa who felt he had to ask if i was having a baby last november!) this past week and others who dont see me often at all. No one not one person said anything about the weight loss. I'm not doing this for anyone but me but I really thought family would start noticeing by now. I just feel like how can people commett on the fact that your over weight but be blind to the fact that you loss any! I did tell my husband and his words was" that really sucks and i'm sorry. Please dont get down about it and stop trying cause you look really good and I can see the weight loss I swear i'm not just saying it." He is a big sweet heart but it still bugs the **** out of me that no one else can seee it. Is this stupid am I being a baby about it?!
" I'm not doing this for anyone but me' - This is the only part that matters beyond your husband noticing and encouraging you. You're doing this for yourself. Period.0 -
sadly the general rule of thumb is it takes about 50 lbs before people start to notice the difference.0
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lucky girl with a sweet husband...listen to him. his words are what should matter, not those that arent spoken by others. congratulations on your progress so far!!! *hugs*0
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Family members are very special sometimes ... by special I mean retards !! ... my father's wife used to say to my face ... "whooooo that IS a huge belly " ... " wooooo I can see that food is ALWAYS on the table for you " with a little laugh after that .... I wanted to say "Whoooo have you see yourself in the mirror lately " ?!
Either way , the better fit version of you is for yourself first THEN for who loves and appreciate you like your husband
best of luck and feel free to add me if you want0 -
congrats on ur weight.... i know they must have noticed but some people r just haters!!!!!!!!0
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To answer bluntly - Yes, you are over reacting. Don't worry about them. Worry about you. Of course, it is always nice to hear compliments on weight loss, and it can make your day, but if you get that upset that they didn't comment, this is going to be a long and very bumpy road. You have to take them out of your equation. You know the progress you've made and should continue on your journey for yourself. Kudos to your awesome hubby! Sounds like you can rely on his encouragement so that will help.0
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I'm always astounded that people believe that you would like to hear their comments about your weight. How callous and thoughtless! While it would be wonderful to be heaped with praise about the tremendous results you already have, that clearly isn't going to happen. I'm glad that you're doing this for you and it is nice that your husband is supportive. Ignore the negative louts and keep going ... for you!0
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I'd really prefer that my family accept me fat or thin and STFU about it. But ultimately I need to do this for me and basically ignore what anyone else says about my weight, whether too fat or too thin.0
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You did say that you yourself don't see a big difference, and you know how much you've lost... give them a chance, they will notice but I agree with those that say some people just comment on the negative, it never occurs to them to comment positively. :flowerforyou:0
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Sometimes it's also hard to tell if you're still wearing your larger clothes. I have a housekeeper who comes every other week. Last week I was wearing a new, smaller and fitted shirt. The look on her face was priceless and she said "How in the world did you lose so much weight in 2 weeks?" I told her I had been losing for over 9 months and she was astonished that she hadn't noticed sooner. Clearly it was time to throw out the over sized, baggie sweats.0
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My advice: Use the previous hurtful comments that your family made to your advantage, let them fuel your workouts, let them be the decider between staying on track or indulging... Although they were hurtful, they were important at the same time. My dad posted a picture of me on facebook (after having a baby and at my highest weight ever) with a caption that read 'first in line at the buffet haha".... yah real funny (sarcasm font). I was soooo mad at him, but I've become more thankful lately. Had he not of been such an obnoxious *kitten*, I might not of taken the leap I REALLY NEEDED to take to get fit & healthy. It was the straw that broke the camels back for me and set me off on my mission.
Your husband sounds like he knows what he's taking about, listen to him! Congrats on your success so far! don't give up!0 -
Did you flip out the first time when they made a comment about your weight?
No i just laugh it off...and say thats just what marriage dose to you...or something along the lines.0 -
Thank you all for your advice...and yes I did let it bother me and yes I do have a wonderful husband. I really do understand that if i'm doing it for me then I need to not let what others say or not say bother me.0
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You're a woman who is close to 200 lbs and have lost less than 20. There is a very real chance they didn't even notice.
People didn't even start commenting on my weight loss until I dropped about 50 lbs.0 -
people are either all about telling you or nothing at all, love yourself forget the rest0
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