going to a friends house, what's appropriate?

aribugg
aribugg Posts: 164 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
This friend knows that im counting calories, so i dont think it would be that bad if i brought my own snack for the day. since her family would never do such a thing as counting calories, food selection over there can become an issue. last time i was there i ended up eating 660 calories worth of one cup of soup, and thats more calories then i like to give myself for lunch... not too much more, but its freaking soup and i'd like a side with that but i couldnt.
problem being, if i brought something i feel the need to bring her some too. but i cant really afford that, financially and for the sake of my every day calorie plans. (im may need it later, i mean)
we're pretty close and we've always shared our food, but if i bring only something for me and share it, it will throw off my count >.<
I feel like a jerk for all this, but idk what would be appropriate and polite and still keep my goals in check...
what would you guys do?

Replies

  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
    I'd bring potato salad. It's relatively inexpensive to make and it's salad so it's healthy.
  • Iknowsaur
    Iknowsaur Posts: 777 Member
    You're not being a jerk at all!
    Does your friend know that you're trying to lose weight, or be healthier?
    Since you say you're close, it might be best just to be honest about the whole situation so she knows that's going on.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Bring some potato cheddar soup.
  • petefromguelph
    petefromguelph Posts: 84 Member
    Bring some potato cheddar soup.

    yum.
  • nineteentwenty
    nineteentwenty Posts: 469 Member
    You can always say you have a stomach ache and only eat a small bit of what she has in her house, I do that all the time.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
    Um, I say eat what they are eating. It is ONE day. One day will not undo all your progress.
  • CaitlinW19
    CaitlinW19 Posts: 431 Member
    Share with your friend your thoughts. Maybe the two of you can do something together like go get ingredients to make something healthy and then cook/bake together. My favorite snack is Skinnytaste.com's healthy cookies...2 overripe mashed bananas and 1 cup of quick oats, then whatever nuts, chocolate/peanut butter chips, coconut, dried fruit you like. See if she'll go along with you to make it into an activity you can share.
  • FluffyDogsRule
    FluffyDogsRule Posts: 366 Member
    I think that if you can't bring enough to share (I usually make something healthy to share and then have mostly mine, but a little of the other stuff) then you should just eat before you go and eat a little of what they offer you. I agree it's only one day. Either lie and say your stomach is acting weird or tell the truth and say you're counting calories...but i dont' think that means you can't have any of what they make.
  • CupcakesAndLettuce
    CupcakesAndLettuce Posts: 13 Member
    My argument with these things is that one meal or one day of eating bad didn't make me fat. It's doing it all the time that did that, so I allow myself like one day or meal every few weeks to have whatever I want, because one meal isn't the be all and end all if you see this as a lifestyle change. If you see it as a diet, then it will hurt it I guess. But when you see it as a lifestyle thing, I always think it'd be a pretty crappy life if I couldn't let my hair down once every so often haha
    xxxx
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Take potato skins. Everyone loves them.
  • malloryah1
    malloryah1 Posts: 2
    I think you should be honest in this situation. Have a conversation that you want to come over but you're eating healthy and will need to bring your own food. If this is your friend they will be supportive or get over it.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
    This friend knows that im counting calories, so i dont think it would be that bad if i brought my own snack for the day. since her family would never do such a thing as counting calories, food selection over there can become an issue. last time i was there i ended up eating 660 calories worth of one cup of soup, and thats more calories then i like to give myself for lunch... not too much more, but its freaking soup and i'd like a side with that but i couldnt.
    problem being, if i brought something i feel the need to bring her some too. but i cant really afford that, financially and for the sake of my every day calorie plans. (im may need it later, i mean)
    we're pretty close and we've always shared our food, but if i bring only something for me and share it, it will throw off my count >.<
    I feel like a jerk for all this, but idk what would be appropriate and polite and still keep my goals in check...
    what would you guys do?

    I am wondering.....
    Cup-of-soup has anywhere from 47 calories for lets say an envelope of Spring vegetable soup to 71 calories for Chicken noodle soup and you blame your friends for your eating anywhere from 9 to 14 portions ( depending on the soup ) of the stuff ? Did they tie you down and force feed you ? Anything that is more nutritious than that is appropriate to take......
  • moviestarsara
    moviestarsara Posts: 66
    I think you should be honest in this situation. Have a conversation that you want to come over but you're eating healthy and will need to bring your own food. If this is your friend they will be supportive or get over it.

    This. And once you have this conversation, you won't be worried about food when you go to her house in the future.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
    I think you're over-thinking this. Just go to her house and eat what they eat. You don't have to eat as much as they do. Or if you choose to pig out, eat less for the remainder of the day and/or make sure to get some exercise in.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I think you should be honest in this situation. Have a conversation that you want to come over but you're eating healthy and will need to bring your own food. If this is your friend they will be supportive or get over it.

    This is what I was thinking too. Talk honestly & openly about this with your friend.
  • Bounce4
    Bounce4 Posts: 288 Member
    For one day I would go and eat what was served but select small portions if it is something calorie dense. Life and eating shouldn't be so complicated.

    Now if you go over there 3-4 times a week, that might be a different story.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    For one day I would go and eat what was served but select small portions if it is something calorie dense. Life and eating shouldn't be so complicated.

    Now if you go over there 3-4 times a week, that might be a different story.

    This. If it is an infrequent thing, just eat whatever, log it the best you can and move on. If you go there frequently, then maybe have that conversation others have mentioned.
  • patsypooter
    patsypooter Posts: 175 Member
    I'm going to a birthday party this weekend. I already told the host I am bringing my own meal for myself and I will also bring a potato or pasta salad for the group.

    I doubt your friend will want some of your healthy food, you might be worried about nothing. If she asks for some when you get there just tell her Woops I only brought enough for my self, sorry!
  • oneloopygirl
    oneloopygirl Posts: 151 Member
    My argument with these things is that one meal or one day of eating bad didn't make me fat. It's doing it all the time that did that, so I allow myself like one day or meal every few weeks to have whatever I want, because one meal isn't the be all and end all if you see this as a lifestyle change. If you see it as a diet, then it will hurt it I guess. But when you see it as a lifestyle thing, I always think it'd be a pretty crappy life if I couldn't let my hair down once every so often haha
    xxxx

    THIS!!!
  • Kenazwa
    Kenazwa Posts: 278 Member
    Do one of two things:
    1) Have a talk with your friend; tell her what you told us.
    2) Just go, enjoy yourself, eat what is served.
  • oneloopygirl
    oneloopygirl Posts: 151 Member
    This friend knows that im counting calories, so i dont think it would be that bad if i brought my own snack for the day. since her family would never do such a thing as counting calories, food selection over there can become an issue. last time i was there i ended up eating 660 calories worth of one cup of soup, and thats more calories then i like to give myself for lunch... not too much more, but its freaking soup and i'd like a side with that but i couldnt.
    problem being, if i brought something i feel the need to bring her some too. but i cant really afford that, financially and for the sake of my every day calorie plans. (im may need it later, i mean)
    we're pretty close and we've always shared our food, but if i bring only something for me and share it, it will throw off my count >.<
    I feel like a jerk for all this, but idk what would be appropriate and polite and still keep my goals in check...
    what would you guys do?

    I am wondering.....
    Cup-of-soup has anywhere from 47 calories for lets say an envelope of Spring vegetable soup to 71 calories for Chicken noodle soup and you blame your friends for your eating anywhere from 9 to 14 portions ( depending on the soup ) of the stuff ? Did they tie you down and force feed you ? Anything that is more nutritious than that is appropriate to take......

    She didn't say the cup of soup brand. She said a cup of soup. There are plenty of soups out there that are not low in fat or calories if they are made with cream or other calorie dense ingredients. It's entirely possible to get that many calories from a full fat potato, baked potato, or cheese based soup.
  • monstergirl14
    monstergirl14 Posts: 345 Member
    This friend knows that im counting calories, so i dont think it would be that bad if i brought my own snack for the day. since her family would never do such a thing as counting calories, food selection over there can become an issue. last time i was there i ended up eating 660 calories worth of one cup of soup, and thats more calories then i like to give myself for lunch... not too much more, but its freaking soup and i'd like a side with that but i couldnt.
    problem being, if i brought something i feel the need to bring her some too. but i cant really afford that, financially and for the sake of my every day calorie plans. (im may need it later, i mean)
    we're pretty close and we've always shared our food, but if i bring only something for me and share it, it will throw off my count >.<
    I feel like a jerk for all this, but idk what would be appropriate and polite and still keep my goals in check...
    what would you guys do?

    I am wondering.....
    Cup-of-soup has anywhere from 47 calories for lets say an envelope of Spring vegetable soup to 71 calories for Chicken noodle soup and you blame your friends for your eating anywhere from 9 to 14 portions ( depending on the soup ) of the stuff ? Did they tie you down and force feed you ? Anything that is more nutritious than that is appropriate to take......

    I think you may have misunderstood..
  • LJGettinSexy
    LJGettinSexy Posts: 223 Member
    Um, I say eat what they are eating. It is ONE day. One day will not undo all your progress.

    This!
  • aribugg
    aribugg Posts: 164 Member
    thanks for the recipe ideas! i dont have ingredients today, but i'll remember them in the future :] the thing is i do go over there quite a bit, so i guess i'll just talk to her about it like you guys said. last time we did talk about it a little, so i'll just pick that up and explain further. thanks guys <3
  • onionparsleysage
    onionparsleysage Posts: 103 Member
    You seem young, so I will say that I DO think it's rude to show up with food that you're not prepared to share.

    Think of things that are cheap - like potatoes, tuna fish, salads, etc.

    And definitely chat with your friend! I'm sure she can understand. And cooking together is always fun :)
    But you should be able to figure out how many calories you're eating. Eating a bowl of 660 calorie soup will fill you up more than a bowl of 47 calorie soup.
  • OwlsInTheAttic
    OwlsInTheAttic Posts: 9 Member
    If I was in your situation, I would offer to bring a salad. You could make a pretty good amount of simple salad for about $5 if you have dressing already (lemon juice and a bit of olive oil are an alternative as well). Costco has a great kale salad bag that's about that much and it comes with everything.
    I get it if money's tight and you can't really do that either. In that case I would just get a really good workout in before the party, fill up on something low calorie before going and just have small amounts of what they're offering there. Like a lot of people said, going over your calorie goal one day in a while isn't going to affect your long term plans.
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,123 Member
    I say.... work out extra to give yourself a little wiggle room... if it seems like whatever they are eating is way more calories than you should be getting... don't finish the whole plate/bowl of whatever. You're going to have to find little ways to get around these scenarios for the rest of your life... do you always want to be carrying around little baggies of your own snack and smack your friends' hand when they eat some of it? You've just gotta learn to be flexible :)
  • direwolf013
    direwolf013 Posts: 16
    This friend knows that im counting calories, so i dont think it would be that bad if i brought my own snack for the day. since her family would never do such a thing as counting calories, food selection over there can become an issue. last time i was there i ended up eating 660 calories worth of one cup of soup, and thats more calories then i like to give myself for lunch... not too much more, but its freaking soup and i'd like a side with that but i couldnt.
    problem being, if i brought something i feel the need to bring her some too. but i cant really afford that, financially and for the sake of my every day calorie plans. (im may need it later, i mean)
    we're pretty close and we've always shared our food, but if i bring only something for me and share it, it will throw off my count >.<
    I feel like a jerk for all this, but idk what would be appropriate and polite and still keep my goals in check...
    what would you guys do?

    I am wondering.....
    Cup-of-soup has anywhere from 47 calories for lets say an envelope of Spring vegetable soup to 71 calories for Chicken noodle soup and you blame your friends for your eating anywhere from 9 to 14 portions ( depending on the soup ) of the stuff ? Did they tie you down and force feed you ? Anything that is more nutritious than that is appropriate to take......

    I don't believe the OP was referring to Cup-o-Soup. She had a cup (8oz) of soup from what I take away from reading her post. I have made some terribly high calorie soups in my day, including ones that called for a full block of velvetta cheese. It's hard to eat at friends houses when they and their family have no regard for what is in their meals.

    OP if you know that what is going to be eaten is going to be high calories/fat/whatever prepair yourself for it. Shave a few here or there. Maybe even suggest healthier ways to prepare what is going to be made, as long as you are not stepping on toes very hard, lol. I have made some of my favorite dishes much healthier, by cutting amounts of oils, substituting sweeetner for sugar, and such. Heck I took a recipe for 100 calorie blueberry muffins and got it down to 80 calories per muffin.... great... now I want a muffin.

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