stressful siblings

lucentabella

How do you deal with a sibling, or even a family member, that stresses you out. I have a sister that drains me. She calls me all day, while I'm at work, to talk about herself. She's a stay at home mom to a kid that's in school. Other than an hour or so of cleaning and her daily 2 hours of gym time, she really doesn't have much going on (her husband does the grocery shopping, bill paying, and household management). Don't read this as stay at home mom's don't have a ton to do. She genuinly doesn't have much to do, which probably contributes to her having plenty of time to call me and fill me in on her every waking moment.

Anyway, she likes to call me, while I'm at work and go on about whatever TV show she's watching, her paleo diet, the fitness class she did at the gym, the gym newbie that dared to annoy her with their lack of experience while in her space, who made her mad at the craft store, whatever kind of craft she's working on that day, the driver that's in her way, whatever our mom or other sister did to annoy her, or whatever her husband did to annoy her (usually it's either he works 80 hours a week, didn't take out the trash, and didn't scoop the kitty litter). Normally, I don't bother much with it. I just leave it at simple replies. As you can tell, she's not a very positive person to listen to...

Then, every once in awhile I have a stressful week and just can't be bombarded with the negative. When I don't respond the way she wants, I get my head snapped off. Then I get days of hateful comments and rude remarks. She snaps about me to our friends and family. All this really stresses me out and upsets me. I'm a big time stress and emotional eater. I'm over here like, stressful day at work - cheesecake.....someone snapped at you - chocolate!

How do you deal with your stressful family?

What do you do to avoid stress eating?

veganbettie

Why are you letting her stress you out? First of all, tell her to stop calling you at work, that's just not okay, second of all tell her that you're not her sounding board and to stop calling you just to whine.

If you can munster up the courage then just stop answering the phone. You don't have to answer the phone if you don't want to. You gotta work on yourself, you don't have to let people treat you badly you know?

Family is a PIA.. Good luck.

cchew686

Makes me thankful I don't have a sister. However, I do have a mother and she can stress me out the way no one else can. I make a conscious effort to only get on the phone with her when I have the time, energy, and patience. Otherwise I keep everything electronic. She can bug me via email, but it gives me more time to consider what I should say. I don't tell her what she wants to hear per se, I just try not to say things as bluntly as I would with my Dad or my brother. I have a 15 month old and he is a great excuse too. Oh, the baby is up from his nap. The baby is pulling the dogs tail, I have to go, etc. Plus I drink at family functions. :bigsmile:

lucentabella

You're right though. I have a bad habit of just answering it. I have never understood why she only calls during my working hours. She rarely calls in the evening (probably because my niece is home from school and her husband is home, a little later on, from work). I'm working on setting up boundaries. My bp just can't take being snapped and snarked at all day.

lucentabella

Yay for babies! I think I'd much prefer an email of the run down of whatever little things happened throughout the day then to hear it in 10 different phone calls. At least then I could just send one thought out reply.

Lives2Travel

You're right though. I have a bad habit of just answering it. I have never understood why she only calls during my working hours. She rarely calls in the evening (probably because my niece is home from school and her husband is home, a little later on, from work). I'm working on setting up boundaries. My bp just can't take being snapped and snarked at all day.

Put it on your boss/job. Tell her they've instituted a new policy on personal calls and that you can only call her during lunch or risk losing your job. Call her briefly during your lunch break and let her chatter. You have to firmly set your boundaries or she'll use you up.

janiceclark08

I have a sister that totally stresses me out , whenever I talk to her .I finally had to quit talking to her on a regular bases. Now when we do talk, she tries not to get into the same ole stuff she said to annoy me, or at least its very minimal . However this happened after I went off, several times complaining about her behavior. I had to do this for myself , she knows I love her but cant handle her b.s.

lucentabella

I have a sister that totally stresses me out , whenever I talk to her .I finally had to quit talking to her on a regular bases. Now when we do talk, she tries not to get into the same ole stuff she said to annoy me, or at least its very minimal . However this happened after I went off, several times complaining about her behavior. I had to do this for myself , she knows I love her but cant handle her b.s.

Put it on your boss/job. Tell her they've instituted a new policy on personal calls and that you can only call her during lunch or risk losing your job. Call her briefly during your lunch break and let her chatter. You have to firmly set your boundaries or she'll use you up.

I like the idea of telling her I'm not available during work hours. Great job on the 101 lbs lost! That's amazing!

I just went off on her last week. She snapped my head off because I said I wasn't fond of a nickname she was considering for a future kid. She demanded an apology and I told her I don't have time for this nonsense and to go act like a brat to someone else. Anyway,
I'm avoiding her this week. I've gotten so much done.