toning, building muscle advice sought

amyjoi16

I am a middle-aged woman trying to build strength generally in all muscle areas and tone up. I am not afraid of having some great muscle definition but am certainly not looking to be a body builder. My problem? Contradicting advice from all corners.
Do I do three sets of 12 at 35 pounds on an arm exercise and increase reps as I get stronger? Or do I reps to failure?
Do I do say, first set at 20 pounds, second set at 25 pounds and third set at 30 pounds and decrease the number in the set as I go?
Help!
i have heard men should do weight increases and women should just do more reps., please
If anyone can refer me to a site, or give me some good advice, I'd appreciate it. Also, I am happy to have fitness pal buddies because I would more interaction!
PS weight loss is the primary goal and building strength and endurance for running.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

amyjoi16

I have been doing machines at a gym if that helps

SugaryLynx

I second Mr M's advice. Do free weight barbell routines, all pro, starting strength are both great routines. Women and men shouldn't be doing different things in the gym. Women get supa sexy from heavy lifting!