Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

greytniki

I am my own worst enemy in this weight loss journey. When I started out I was really a hot mess. I've made some progress but yet many times I find myself falling back into old "beat myself up" habits. I've heard statements like weight loss is 80 % what you eat and 20 % how you work out. I disagree. Somewhere in there you have to add a large percentage of mental attitude into the equation. Along the way I have talked with and been questioned by so many people who struggle with variious non food/fitness issues with weight loss. For what its worth these are some of the things I have learned and often have to "relearn":

1: Don't compare yourself with anyone else...EVER. You have no idea where they came from or where they are going, or even if you have some idea, you still have no idea. Be supportive of others alongside you, but don't start comparing what program they are doing, what they are eating, what they aren't eating, how fast they can go, how long they can go, how much they lost or didn't lose. Just say NO.

2. Be realistic. You know yourself. You know what you will and won't do. You know what your willing to sacrifice and what you aren't. Base your goals on that knowledge and you will be far more likely to succeed.

3. Be honest. This is oh so crucial. You have to be 100% honest with yourself. If you can't you've already failed. If you log, log what you eat, don't fudge, don't hedge, don't "forget" and then complain about why you didn't lose.

4. Don't try to "beat the system"... Reality is there is no system. There's just making good choices and working hard. You aren't going to find the magic pill or the miracle workout. Consistency in making right choices and working hard will pay off. It might take time, no it will take time, but when followed it works every time.

5. Have fun while working hard...If you make this journey the "trip from hell" why and how are you going to stay on board? Only a lunatic would do so. Have fun with it, make some new friends, try some new things and change your mindset from trip from hell to adventure of a lifetime.

6. Don't invite negative nellies to your party. If you have people around you, in your life who keep telling you all the reasons you can't do this, or how you've failed before, get rid of them. Stay away from them. Find more positive people to hang around.

7. Everyone has an opinion-remember it's just that, an opinion. If someone tells you you have to give up diet pop for instance to lose weight and that isn't something you are willing to do, filter it out. (BTW I've been told that so many times and i've lost 100 pounds and haven't given up diet pop. I've cut back but its on my not willing to do list so I don't). Take opinions with a grain of salt and run them through the common sense filter. Then compare them with your list of "willing to do" and while being honest with yourself. Then decide if it is useful or not. Not useful, not pertinent, not something your willing to do...throw it out of your head.

8. Get beyond the surface. Yup surface inspection reveals I have a struggle with weight. But that's not overly helpful. What I had to do was get to the reasons why I was overweight and pull them out into the sunlight and address those things. Honestly and consistantly. Once I did that I started making progress.

9. Love yourself where your at....every step of the way love yourself. Be kind to yourself. On your hardest days, find something, anything positive. Just the fact that your able to look for something positive is a positive.

10. Celebrate EVERY victory! There are days you are going to feel like a failure. Have your ammunition ready to prove to your head that your one lapse is nothing compared to all the victories you have made along the way.

Don't give up, don't sweat the small stuff and don't play games in your head. Just Don't!

cwolfman13

I think what many fail to realize is that all of this is a process...and a life long process at that. People tend to have this notion that they just flip a switch and bam...they're super nutrition and fitness person that is going to be 100% all of the time. You do not make life changes overnight...it's all a process and people need to hone in on that process rather than always obsessing about the end results of that process.

Focus on the results and you rarely see the change; focus on the change and you always see the results. And never forget...no matter who you are, nutrition and fitness are lifelong endeavors...you will forever be on your path to wellness...you will never be done so it is pointless to try to be done. See your path and focus on the process.

greytniki

I think your absolutely right :-)

AceCC86

I am my own worst enemy in this weight loss journey. When I started out I was really a hot mess. I've made some progress but yet many times I find myself falling back into old "beat myself up" habits. I've heard statements like weight loss is 80 % what you eat and 20 % how you work out. I disagree. Somewhere in there you have to add a large percentage of mental attitude into the equation.

I totally know how you feel. On some level it is really about the food we put into our bodies, but I've found exercise to be my new best friend -- because when you work out, you feel better. It's science. It's chemicals in your brain. When I feel better, I tend to turn to food for comfort less and less. Every day that I eat healthy foods and stay active I feel accomplished and motivated.

Thanks for the lovely post!

ElliHurdle

Your "advise" nearly put myself into tears. A while back I was underweight and was near the verge of an eating disorder. When I joined Eating Disorders Anonymous to get support, I found...I wasn't in there with girls that were anorexic or bulimic, but I was in there with over-eaters and food addicts. I learned SO much. The first thing I learned...none of it is about food! I wasn't underweight and I'm not overweight becuase of food...food is just the tool that helped me get there. All of your advice is the same thing I tell myself day after day, and I still seem to get it wrong. I love your advice to focus on the positve! You're absolutely right...even when I get one part of my day wrong, I didn't screw up EVERYTHING, even if it was just one vegetable and 8 cookies. THANK YOU

greytniki

even when I get one part of my day wrong, I didn't screw up EVERYTHING, even if it was just one vegetable and 8 cookies. THANK YOU

In every day there are positives in negatives in all aspects of our life. We have to choose to look for the positives in this journey, when we make the choice over and over and over again day in and day out it becomes habit, then it becomes our lifestyle. You can do this!

CaitlinW19

I think what many fail to realize is that all of this is a process...and a life long process at that. People tend to have this notion that they just flip a switch and bam...they're super nutrition and fitness person that is going to be 100% all of the time. You do not make life changes overnight...it's all a process and people need to hone in on that process rather than always obsessing about the end results of that process.

Focus on the results and you rarely see the change; focus on the change and you always see the results. And never forget...no matter who you are, nutrition and fitness are lifelong endeavors...you will forever be on your path to wellness...you will never be done so it is pointless to try to be done. See your path and focus on the process.

I agree. I also think people don't focus enough on a plan to maintain their improved health. I have been trying to look at everything I am doing now as "practice" for maintaining a healthy lifestyle...and that doesn't just stop at food and exercise. For example, many people weigh daily. I don't think that in it's self is a bad thing, but are those people going to continue to weigh every day after they reach their goal? Some might. Most won't. Personally I think having a weekly routine for this is the best way to make sure you can keep it up.

This is just from my own experience. I've been on this ride before and so I've spend a lot of time the last 3 months thinking about myself and why I keep ending up here. I'm sure everyone's answer is different. But if you are like me and tired of loosing weight and gaining it back over time...it's the keeping it off that is really the problem. Thinking about that has really shifted something for me.

CharleeCali

7. Everyone has an opinion-remember it's just that, an opinion. If someone tells you you have to give up diet pop for instance to lose weight and that isn't something you are willing to do, filter it out. (BTW I've been told that so many times and i've lost 100 pounds and haven't given up diet pop. I've cut back but its on my not willing to do list so I don't). Take opinions with a grain of salt and run them through the common sense filter. Then compare them with your list of "willing to do" and while being honest with yourself. Then decide if it is useful or not. Not useful, not pertinent, not something your willing to do...throw it out of your head.

This is so true! I won't give up diet soda and I save a LOT of my calories for dinner and evening snacks. Both things I've read here are TERRIBLE!

I eat dinner late (8 p.m.) and I snack while I watch t.v. That's never going to change, so I adjust my diary to fit in with my lifstyle.

Such wonderful advice!!!

Sharon5913

Thank you, what you say is soooo true. While I try to keep the negativity away, I DO find that I AM my own worst enemy. Thank you for reminding me that EVERYTHING has a positive side to it (well... almost everything).

Sharon :drinker:

SharonNehring

I wish the forums had a Like or Recommend button. I think this post is dead on and something everyone should read.

If you don't look at the whys and hows about what brought you to this point in life, then there is no way to make sustainable, long term lifestyle changes.

Koldnomore

Great post! I totally agree with you! Another thing to remember is that old adage. . Keep it simple! The more people over think it, the harder it becomes. Find a sustainable, safe and sane path and stick to it.

fireytiger

I love this post, thank you! My whole life i've been my own worst enemy. I always blamed everyone else for my low self esteem, but while they contributed, they weren't the full cause, I WAS, for letting them tell me who I was instead of loving myself and ignoring the haters. I'm now a recovering self-hater, there are days when I do fall back into the habits of putting myself down, but I try for the most part to focus on the amazing things I CAN do!

Also, totally hear you about doing what works for you and making a "will not do" list. I am never going to live my entire life without drinking a soda (i'm not a fan of diet at all, but I do love Dr Pepper lol). Nor am I ever going to give up some foods entirely, it's just simply unrealistic. But i'll enjoy my cheeseburger every couple weeks instead of once a day, or drink half a can of Dr Pepper with my lunch on occasion when I'm feeling in the mood. And guess what, i'm still losing weight too, despite eating these "taboo" foods.

ktsmom430

Everyone that begins their journey should read this. It is excellent advice and I whole heartedly agree with your observations!

harribeau2012

Thank you, this is a great post! :flowerforyou: