how do u stay on track when....

topp35

So ive been on here for about a week now and have lost 5 lbs so far great right but its getting harder everyday! First let me tell u im 35 yrs old, married with 2 daughters and im a sahm. So I dont get a ton of exercise. ..I have to be creative. And so far its been working out really well for me but my husband has been on my back lately about not eating the dinners he makes. So here's the problem. ..My husband does all the dinner cooking always has for the most part idk way its just always been that way. How am I supposed to continue to lose weight if hes constantly *****ing about me not eating the dinners he cooks? I will grab a salad or something more healthy and eat with them but im not wanting to eat burgers and meatloaf etc all the or pizza stuff like that. Thats fine f2f or the 3 of them but im trying to lose weight not them ya know. It just frustrates me to no end!!! And then when I want to go for a walk he lays this line on me.....cant u wait I want to spend time with u right now, im going to go to bed soon cant u go then? He works 3rd shift and goes to bed at 5ish. It almost feels like he doesn't want me to lose weight...he knows if I wait chances r I wont walk later:( Sry just needed to vent for a min and maybe someone is in the same boat. Thanks for listening

rieann84

You could fit in a small plate of what he makes. Although I agree that he should support you in your endeavors..I know my boyfriend would get upset if he spent the time to cook for me and I turned my nose up at it. Still have that salad, fill up on it, but have just a small bit of his dinners. It might make him feel better.

Why won't you walk later? From what I get it sounds like he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with and misses you. I think you both need to bend a little bit. Come up with a plan that will suit both of you. Walk later if you have to. Encourage him to walk with you maybe ?

mmckee10

I am sort of in the same boat now. My BF works 3rd shift and expects us to sit here all day during the summer when he sleeps (instead of going swimming, for walks, outside). It doesn't happen. LOL My best advice is do what makes YOU happy. Eventually, he'll either learn to deal with it or stop b****ing about it. It took about 6 months for mine to quit complaining about what I was eating, weighing out food, exercise, ect... I just told him that he can either shut up and let me lose this weight or he can deal with me being depressed and miserable, hating my body forever. He chose to shut up about it. LOL. Just do what you need to do. :flowerforyou:

topp35

Its still fairly cold up here so I like to go in that part of the afternoon when its the warmest plus I sometimes just want to go without my daughters going...they whine and pissed snd moan if I take them. So if I wait until later I have to drag them along if they even want to go that is. If my youngest doesn't want to go then I can't go. The walk has been ruined for the day:(

uhapi

A healthier you is a happier you, and when you are happy and feel good and energized and less stressed (all side-effects of eating healthy and exercising!) you will be a better mom to your children and a better wife to your husband. It doesn't have to be one or the other; spending time with your husband OR exercising. Encourage him to compromise so that you can both be happy. Maybe you can walk and talk together! Best of luck.

Uhapi

Capt_Apollo

if you have a problem with what he is cooking, get more involved with the meal purchasing and preparing. also, eat less of what he makes, as there is not really any bad food.

if walking is your prefered form of exercise (and it really is the most popular form of exercise in the world) include him and your kids. i don't know how old they are, but take them out with you in their strollers or something.

as far as being a stay at home mother of two... please don't use that as an excuse. i know plenty of single mothers of more than two that have a job or two that make time to exercise.

rieann84

Its still fairly cold up here so I like to go in that part of the afternoon when its the warmest plus I sometimes just want to go without my daughters going...they whine and pissed snd moan if I take them. So if I wait until later I have to drag them along if they even want to go that is. If my youngest doesn't want to go then I can't go. The walk has been ruined for the day:(

Okay, well that I get. Is there a room in the house that you can do an exercise video instead? Fitnessblender.com has a bunch of free videos, or you could get a tape of the 30 day shred or similar. Like someone else said, it is about compromise..from both of you. Best of luck.

topp35

I will check that website out thank you.
Ive nvr used me having 2 kids as an excuse...I just said if they dont want to go then I cant. I can't leave the youngest one home alone shes only 8 and she absolutely will not sit in a stroller at that age. My oldest I can leave at home while I walk for an hr but I dont have that option with the youngest. ..or I wouldn't feel safe doing that.

KRM51

Is there a game you both enjoy? Like tennis or badminton or something? Or even swimming? You both can indulge in a sport together and spend quality time together, while losing weight too. And if the activity is in the evening, you can have your salad plus his dinner as you will burn it soon. That way you both are happy.

I am no-one to talk, though, my husband supports me for weight loss through healthy eating as well as exercise, but I am still not mentally capable to do so. I admire you for your strength, especially with the kids and the husband and the little challenges about the diet and exercise. I know that it's not a big deal for many, but countering little obstacles like these everyday seem really hard while on this path.

And by the way, if you feel he doesn't want you to lose weight, you might take it in a positive light, that he absolutely adores you the way you look right now! And also wants to spend time with you! Isn't it great? You are so loved!

All the best.

Capt_Apollo

I will check that website out thank you.
Ive nvr used me having 2 kids as an excuse...I just said if they dont want to go then I cant. I can't leave the youngest one home alone shes only 8 and she absolutely will not sit in a stroller at that age. My oldest I can leave at home while I walk for an hr but I dont have that option with the youngest. ..or I wouldn't feel safe doing that.

let me remind you what you said

First let me tell u im 35 yrs old, married with 2 daughters and im a sahm. So I dont get a ton of exercise.

to me this is an excuse.

but now you're telling me that your youngest is 8? your oldest must be at least nine. so they're both school age, meaning that from the time of 8am to about 3pm they're not at home. so you're telling me that in seven hours you can't find 30-60 minutes to get in your work out?

unless of course, they're home-schooled. are they home-schooled?

topp35

First off my oldest is 12. And what I had said or meant to say if I didnt make it clear was my husband works 3rd shift and likes for me to sit at home with him when he gets home until he goes to bed around 5 ish so I dont get my walks in until after that unless he wants to go with me. And alot of the times my youngest daughter doesn't always want to walk so I needed some good exercise tips for things I could do around the house.
Thank u to those of u that understood what I was saying and gave me good websites to look up it was very useful. I appreciate it!

4aces61

You didn't say what type of condition your husband is in. Is he overweight from eating the types of foods he is constantly making as it seems they are not to healthy. There are plenty of things you can do inside the house like get some cardio dvd's and work out w/ the tv. Resistance bands are another cheap, easy source. Have you expressed you'd rather eat a healthier diet? If so, what's his response. I will say this, eating right and exercising is hard enough w/o a spouse throwing a wrench in the works. It's much easier to do w/ support of your other half.

emilygus

I'd say, get your husband to walk with you, make it a way to spend time together as a family. As far as your younger daughter goes... you are the parent and walks are a healthy habit for everyone, not just you. Tell her she's going, and go. Make it fun by letting her bike or rollerblade/skate while you walk, make games for her to play as you walk (don't step on any sidewalk cracks, counting how many red cars she'll see as she goes...) maybe try incentives: a new book, game, or small toy if she goes for X amount of days... I don't generally like bribery, but you need to figure out a way for her to like exercise too, healthy habits start young! Good luck!

topp35

My husband is in great shape. Hes 6'3" and roughly 205lbs I would say. He can eat whatever he wants and nt gain a single lb. He does walk with me every Sunday down this trail I like to walk....its 2 miles. Hes just not big into supporting me in my exercising or dieting. ..idk why.

topp35

I'd say, get your husband to walk with you, make it a way to spend time together as a family. As far as your younger daughter goes... you are the parent and walks are a healthy habit for everyone, not just you. Tell her she's going, and go. Make it fun by letting her bike or rollerblade/skate while you walk, make games for her to play as you walk (don't step on any sidewalk cracks, counting how many red cars she'll see as she goes...) maybe try incentives: a new book, game, or small toy if she goes for X amount of days... I don't generally like bribery, but you need to figure out a way for her to like exercise too, healthy habits start young! Good luck!

topp35

This is great advise thank you.....this may actually work!!!!:)

SharonNehring

My hubby does all the cooking at our house too and he takes it as a personal affront if I won't eat what he's fixed. My situation is more than just weight loss, I have to be on a specific diet for medical reasons. I normally take a small portion of what he's fixed then go to the frig to rustle up some leftovers, a salad etc.

The worst time is weekends, he fixes hot dogs, pizza, burgers etc. I'll eat the burger but without the bun, same with the hot dog, hold the bun. I'll have 1 slice of pizza then have a salad. It's a compromise I make to attempt to keep the peace when I can. Now if he fixes a pasta dish, I just can't do it and we'll end up arguing.

topp35

I have the same issue...medical issues limit my food as well. spicy greasy fatty foods r out.

Capt_Apollo

First off my oldest is 12. And what I had said or meant to say if I didnt make it clear was my husband works 3rd shift and likes for me to sit at home with him when he gets home until he goes to bed around 5 ish so I dont get my walks in until after that unless he wants to go with me. And alot of the times my youngest daughter doesn't always want to walk so I needed some good exercise tips for things I could do around the house.
Thank u to those of u that understood what I was saying and gave me good websites to look up it was very useful. I appreciate it!

so it's your husbands fault that you don't get your work outs in?

i'm just really confused. your kids are in school during the day. your husband works night shift. i work a rotating shift myself, and i understand how it can strain a relationship if you don't make time for each other. however, you need to make time for yourself too.

if your husband is working third shift, thats what, 11pm to 7am? and he stays up until 5pm? i don't get it.

you just need to find time to work out and do what you need and want to do.

topp35

Im done having this conversation with u! No its nobody's fault but my own and I refuse to argue with u about this any further! !! Thanks for the comments but im done with u now.

seltzermint555

I'm not sure if you're done with the forums completely or just one or two posters. I just wanted to say maybe your husband is less than supportive because A) change can be scary and he's not used to this new routine yet and you look like you're definitely not overweight so maybe he does not understand your reason(s) for doing it. I think time and a good open communication about it between the two of you could bridge the gaps here.

Please understand I DO get it that a person could be unhappy at size 6 and want to be size 2 where they feel more comfortable...I'm not saying you do not need to lose weight or anything like that, just because you are not obese like some MFP members. There are a million health reasons as well as just personal reasons for losing weight. I'm still overweight for sure, but I notice the further I get in this and the closer to a healthy weight, some people (mostly family) start to think I'm going overboard or don't need to keep doing it. I disagree of course, but maybe that is kind of what's going on with your husband? Talk with him about it!

Capt_Apollo

Im done having this conversation with u! No its nobody's fault but my own and I refuse to argue with u about this any further! !! Thanks for the comments but im done with u now.

i'm sorry that you took my comments so personally.

i'm not arguing with you at all, but i was just trying to figure out how you couldn't get any time to yourself for working out. it's obvious you enjoy it and want to do it.

topp35

No im just done with the one poster thats all. I think he feels little insecure when im the size I was in January ...d/t an illness I gained 25lbs and 2 whole jean sizes. I just want to tighten up my body...get back in my size 5 jeans and gain some muscle. I look ok in clothes its when im in a bathing suit that im unhappy...im skinny fat if that makes sense. I hide it well with clothes. Im happy with everything but my stomach:(

seltzermint555

No im just done with the one poster thats all. I think he feels little insecure when im the size I was in January ...d/t an illness I gained 25lbs and 2 whole jean sizes. I just want to tighten up my body...get back in my size 5 jeans and gain some muscle. I look ok in clothes its when im in a bathing suit that im unhappy...im skinny fat if that makes sense. I hide it well with clothes. Im happy with everything but my stomach:(

That definitely makes sense. I hope you can talk with him about it and he'll be more understanding. Maybe a few little compromises here and there and you will work it out with him and meet your goals!

topp35

I do have time for myself hence the reason I was asking for things to do at home but u obviously missed that at just wanted to attack me for some reason (by saying I was blaming this on my kids or that on my husband). I really have nothing more to say. Im not here to constantly have to defend myself . This is supposed to be a happy place where ppl go for support. ..motivation. ..tips etc. Not 101 questions about my personal life that had nothing to do with what I was asking.

topp35

Hes actually been better since I posted this. We went for a 2 mi walk together today:)

Capt_Apollo

I do have time for myself hence the reason I was asking for things to do at home but u obviously missed that at just wanted to attack me for some reason (by saying I was blaming this on my kids or that on my husband). I really have nothing more to say. Im not here to constantly have to defend myself . This is supposed to be a happy place where ppl go for support. ..motivation. ..tips etc. Not 101 questions about my personal life that had nothing to do with what I was asking.

i apologize that you felt attacked by me.

Holly_Roman_Empire

if you have a problem with what he is cooking, get more involved with the meal purchasing and preparing. also, eat less of what he makes, as there is not really any bad food.

if walking is your prefered form of exercise (and it really is the most popular form of exercise in the world) include him and your kids. i don't know how old they are, but take them out with you in their strollers or something.

as far as being a stay at home mother of two... please don't use that as an excuse. i know plenty of single mothers of more than two that have a job or two that make time to exercise.

I haven't read all the responses yet, but this is pretty much what I would say.

People have been in situations far more difficult than yours and still found ways to make the weight loss happen.

Capt_Apollo

if you have a problem with what he is cooking, get more involved with the meal purchasing and preparing. also, eat less of what he makes, as there is not really any bad food.

if walking is your prefered form of exercise (and it really is the most popular form of exercise in the world) include him and your kids. i don't know how old they are, but take them out with you in their strollers or something.

as far as being a stay at home mother of two... please don't use that as an excuse. i know plenty of single mothers of more than two that have a job or two that make time to exercise.

I haven't read all the responses yet, but this is pretty much what I would say.

People have been in situations far more difficult than yours and still found ways to make the weight loss happen.

careful. agree with me and she'll think you're attacking her.

jofjltncb6

If it's too difficult after a week, your calorie deficit is probably too high. Bump that up a little until you find that sweet spot where you make satisfactory progress towards your goals (over a sufficient period of time) without it seeming to be too difficult.


(I haven't read all of the replies yet...but based on the last few, it looks like OP may already be very defensive to advice...which is more evidence that her calorie deficit may be too high.)

skullshank

So ive been on here for about a week now and have lost 5 lbs so far great right but its getting harder everyday!

5lbs is quite a lot for a week, and these results should not be expected for the duration of your weight loss.

shoot for something closer to 1lb a week.