Online Dating

lq022

Thank you everyone! I know that I always follow my gut on things and I consider myself a pretty good judge of character. I feel like my issue is someone of my age should have more experience in this area where I do not ... so I feel like I am starting behind the 8-ball so to speak. I know once I get over my initial fear of putting myself out there to be sized up, rejected or admired over, I should be good lol. I am extremely level headed and smart in all other aspects of my life, but since I have not put the time into this area, I am behind. But, just like everything else in life, you gotta work for it! Thanks again for all the tips = )

PS: Is MFP as happening as others have said it is?! I guess one persons food diary is another persons love boat =p

holleysgirl

After plenty of fishing around online and meeting some nice people but not the right ones for me I decided to spend the money and joined E-Harmony. I met my wonderful husband there. I have never been so connected to anyone and we are very happily married. I have never had such a good dating experience with any other website as I had with E-harmony. You get what you pay for folks.

Junebuggyzy

Great advice! Okay here's my story, be prepared! I signed up for eHarmony. Most of the guys they selected for me were not even interesting enough to talk to on the phone. After being on eHarmony for a month I had enough and wanted to quit.

One day, I was traveling, and had just boarded a plane. I was struggling to put my carry on into the overhead bin. A really nice, good looking gentleman offered to help me. We sat together and chatted the whole flight. He told me about the business he owns, and I told him a bit about myself. Eventually I told him about using eHarmony.

Get this; eHarmony turned him down. They wouldn't take him. I said "Seriously? eHarmony wouldn't take you? They rejected you even before you started? I emailed eHarmony the next day to ask if they ever reject anyone. It's true! You can be turned down by eHarmony even before you start. Yes indeed, you can be an eHarmony reject.

Junebug
p.s. I don't even try anymore. If I happened to meet a great guy, I would be delighted. Just won't go out looking.
p.p.s I wish eHarmony would have turned me down too.

TheSlorax

this site is free and has a better success rate


good luck OP

cakebatter07

Great advice! Okay here's my story, be prepared! I signed up for eHarmony. Most of the guys they selected for me were not even interesting enough to talk to on the phone. After being on eHarmony for a month I had enough and wanted to quit.

One day, I was traveling, and had just boarded a plane. I was struggling to put my carry on into the overhead bin. A really nice, good looking gentleman offered to help me. We sat together and chatted the whole flight. He told me about the business he owns, and I told him a bit about myself. Eventually I told him about using eHarmony.

Get this; eHarmony turned him down. They wouldn't take him. I said "Seriously? eHarmony wouldn't take you? They rejected you even before you started? I emailed eHarmony the next day to ask if they ever reject anyone. It's true! You can be turned down by eHarmony even before you start. Yes indeed, you can be an eHarmony reject.

Junebug
p.s. I don't even try anymore. If I happened to meet a great guy, I would be delighted. Just won't go out looking.
p.p.s I wish eHarmony would have turned me down too.

So did anything happen between you and the guy on the plane?

TamTastic

I think it's a nightmare. I've ended up on dates with married guys, guys who just want to hook up, one guy who "wasn't gay, but was seeing a guy on the side", people 100 pounds heavier than their photos appeared, people much older than claimed, etc. I gave up.

I had the same experience! :ohwell:

Unknown

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TamTastic

As a single full-time working mother...I tried it because it's far more convenient than anything else these days! It was nice to go on some dates with nice men. Sit and have a conversation and enjoy that. I had been so miserable in my marriage that just doing that was refreshing. I met some nice men just no chemistry...and then the game players and weirdos and liars. That's not so much fun.

I took a hiatus from it because I found myself getting more jaded towards men..and that's not good. The last experience i had I met up with a guy a couple of times. It seemed good and we made plans for another night. I ended up not feeling well and asked to push it a few days (from Tues to Fri)....he said that was cool. So Thurs night I contact him asking what he had in mind. And he responded "Oh I'm sorry, I started seeing someone and don't think I should see you anymore" lol...uhh ok...so I wished him luck..and he said "I wish we could have spent more time together". I said "err...well that kind of takes being understanding when someone needs to postpone a date! haha".....so moved on. And two weeks later he contacts me again and says "I'd love to see you again..that woman wasn't for me".....and I said "I'm not either. Good luck!" :laugh:

I think online makes people lazy and not feel they have to make an effort or be understanding about life. And as a mother of 4 and 7 year old boys, I simply need understanding. It won't work any other way.

I'm sure there are plenty of nice guys online.....I'm a nice person and I was on there...but it's tedious weeding through the ones wasting your time.

Recently just the everyday encounters. The men rushing to open a door for me or offer to carry a box, the man at the grocery store who picked up the bag of coffee I dropped while standing in line to pay juggling stuff.....and then he went out of his way to find me a basket to put it all in! A flirty patient (I'm the technician and insurance person for eye doctors)....etc....these things are giving me hope again for meeting a cool guy. It may take longer the old-fashioned way but will be better in the long run. Or maybe I'll meet them on MFP!

It could be fun for you to try it....just keep open-minded and know there is an abundance of people but the odds of them being compatible to you are not much more than out at a crowded bar or restaurant. It's just a lot more convenient to be at home relaxing and talking with men! :laugh:

ashandstuff

OP, I am in your shoes! Only been on two dates during my life, both of them with ok dudes but no connection.

Thought online dating would be worth a shot, since I'm not exactly getting any younger and the blasted old biological clock is starting to tick away.

I haven't tried eHarmony or Match but I suspect that since they are paid sites, that people may be more serious about relationships.

OkCupid, however, is definitely not for everyone. After about one week, it became obvious that 80% of the dudes were messaging me "copy & paste" nonsense and one liners. Maybe I don't know anything about dating, but it seems nearly impossible to snuff out the genuine messages/guys apart from the others (especially over the internet). Also, one guy I thought was genuine and gave my phone number sent me sext messages after two days. Not exactly what I had in mind when I said "take it slow."

If you do online dating...my advice....Be wary, be cautious.

arlene785

Do not give out private numbers or email. I would not give anything close to your first name even.

there are a lot of scammers on that site with fake profiles. Be wary of people who want to chat.
they are often scammers who are tyring to get either money or private info out of you. They see to be from foreigh countries. Their English and writing is often broken. From foreigh countries.

Dancing_Laeti

Hiya!
Well, it really depends, I think...
The one thing to say though is that you will have to pay to read e-mails that guys send you. Otherwise all you can do is browse. And that doesn't get you anywhere.
You can meet nice guys and douches. But that's the same everywhere.
My trick to filtering them is to only reply to e-mails that actually pick something up from my profile and comment on that rather than to 'How are you doing, Gorgeous?'. The guys might be perfectly nice, I just don't think it gives me anything to work with.
And stay clear of the guys who have left their relationship status blank.

p0kers0ph

I met my boyfriend on POF but I had to date a lot of weirdos and guys just after sex to find him! There are some right players on online dating, but there are in the 'real' world too, just don't jump straight into anything and just know you will come across guys like this.

jmarcin78

I've tried Match, POF, and OKCupid. Best and worst experiences on OkCupid. Met some really good guys on there that turned out to be good friends. Some were just jerkfaces. It's all about filtering the weirdo/threesome/cheater messages and being upfront in your profile about what you want. It will be clear when guys don't read your profile. And when they do. Just be cautious, don't share too much too quick. And don't drink too much on the first date! Hahaha! (But for real, don't!).

Unfortunately you will get people who don't tell you the whole truth in their profile. Sometimes it is because they are jerkfaces and/or just want to get laid. Sometimes they just don't want to be judged before you get to know them. It's hard to tell sometimes. I've dealt with both.

I'll be happy to talk to you about my experience and provide any tips I can.

TheRoadDog

They didn't have computer dating when I was single. Of course, they didn't have cell phones either, so I didn't have my head down all the time and I was able to meet real people.

lisalsd1

I met my husband online back in the 90's...before dating sites existed. We were both in college, and chat rooms and the internet had really just started to become popular back then.

We talked for a year and a half before actually meeting in-person (despite the fact, that we lived about an hour apart...and coincidentally, had a "friend-of-a-friend" in real-life in common).

Back then, it was unheard of to date people from the internet...only guests on Jerry Springer did it; and usually, the internet people turned out to be creeps. EVERYONE is online now though. I have known PLENTY of people to use dating sites to meet people. Even some of my married friend (now in their 30's) met spouses on dating sites.

I would suggest talking to a few guys for awhile. I think you can pretty quickly decide which ones are just in for sex. And of course, there are all the basics that I think other people covered, like meeting in a public place, not giving out personal info.

sphkhn

I know I already responded but I just wanted to share that I had the the best date ever off okCupid, I went out to breakfast on a saturday morning with this guy and we talked for so long the waitress was getting annoyed but we still wanted to talk so he asked if I wanted to go to a museum and we did and spent hours in the egypt and painting sections. It was a 7 hour long date and amazing but it didn't go anywhere, this didn't discourage me it showed me that there are gentlemen out there that don't want to sleep with you on the first date and even if we didn't have good romantic chemistry we still had an amazing day.

ScorpionQwean

Stay on MFP - you are bound to meet someone - this site is the best (free, chat fun, games, etc). LOL