I'm failing and old nasty habits are starting to reappear

starsandowls

Maybe you aren't ready to commit. It's okay if you aren't. If you try and fail, your nutrition might be a little better, but your mental state will be worse, because you'll feel bad that you didn't keep up the good eating, and you might be more likely to say, "Forget it, I can never lose weight, I'll always be the way I am," instead of being patient with yourself. If you look at my profile, it'll say I joined in January 2013 and have lost a whopping 21 pounds. Well, here's the thing: I only lost 5 pounds in all of 2013 because even though everyone around me who cared/felt able to say something was saying, "You really need to lose that baby weight," I wasn't ready to put in the effort until January 2014.

When/if you are ready to say, "I'm going to do this!" my advice is to plan your day. Some people call it "pre-logging." If you've already scheduled in all your healthy, filling foods, you'll be less tempted to eat bad foods. Make sure that you're getting enough: enough vitamins and minerals, enough protein, enough carbs, enough fat, enough fiber, enough calories, enough volume of foods. Don't set yourself on losing 2 pounds a week and then end up binging and failing; set yourself for half a pound a week and stay with it. Make small changes, and then when they work, make more small changes.

I understand that there are people who are "addicted" to food, who are compulsive eaters. It's not an issue I've struggled with personally, so I don't mean to be insensitive to those who are. The thing is, we live in a world filled with food. You aren't helping yourself long term if you lose weight by hiding from junk food, because the second you stop hiding, the junk food is going to be there, and you're still not going to have the mental tools to say, "Oh, those look lovely! But none for me, thanks!" Fill yourself up with good food and find a way to just say no to calorie dense food that doesn't fit in your plan for the day.

Good luck!

tomaspetro

If you truly have a goal to lose weight, recommit to it and stop the "poor me" crap. I'm an expert at the "poor me" syndrome as many here are. I failed yesterday because of it. I recognized it for what it was and today, I'm moving on. Understand that I absolutely wish the best for you. If you want to wait till your 64 like I am, well, that's a decision only you can make and on your profile you wrote that the answers are within you-believe it. I suspect that you already have all the nutritional knowledge you need.

navygrrl

Cooking separate meals for you and the rest of your family seems a bit excessive. Is there a reason why all of you can't eat the same meal? A healthy meal that you make for yourself will be healthy for your family as well, and this will save some work for you.

ktsmom430

First of all, know this, it is hard and many of us relate to everything you are saying.

This is a quote I have had posted on my computer for almost 2 years now from someone on this site. I read it every single day, sometimes multiple times daily.

"If I don't yet have the self control, I don't want it bad enough".

It keeps me motivated to do what I can to keep in control of my situation. As Tom says in the posting above, and this goes for my situation as well, I am 62. Don't procrastinate for decades as I did.

YOU CAN DO THIS! You just have to want it bad enough and be totally committed to succeeding. Instead of reaching for food, go for a walk, pick up a book, sweep the floor, or run up and down the stairs. Do anything but grab the food. Best of luck to you!

Cathalain

I can relate to the "not having time/don't feel like working out" issue. So here's how I try to get around that.

1. Buy a steamer. You're probably thinking that this won't do any good, but I'm here to tell you that it WILL. I use a T-Fal steamer - you put your food in there when you get home, set it for whatever it's supposed to cook on (I do salmon or chicken for maybe 50 minutes or so) - walk away. In an hour, dinner's done and you didn't have to do squat. Pair it up with rice or a baked potato, some of those microwavable steam-ready veggies - healthy meal in a snap, and you didn't have to prep a thing.

1a. Also consider a Crock-Pot. Throw in ingredients, turn on, come home, eat.

1b. Your hubby's hands aren't broken. Ask him to help prep a meal or cook so that you can get a break now and then. Same goes for your kids, if they're old enough.

2. Use Sunday (or whatever your "free" day is) to prep meals. My day is Sunday because it's the day I use to do other chores around the house that I couldn't get to during the week (although to be honest, I'm in grad school so it's also my homework day as well). Bake, cook, then store into freezer bags or containers. Microwave during the week. Bang - no prep worries.

3. Get dressed for the gym BEFORE you leave work. That way, you'll be ready to go and you'll be reminded that, hey, you're in workout clothes, may as well "get it over with". I used to hate exercising and I knew that if I didn't do this, I'd go home, prop my feet up, and that would be the end of it. These days I don't need to do that because I'd go to the gym anyway - but for you, this could work.

Believe me - I work full-time with a 2-hour-a-day commute, I'm also in graduate school half-time, AND have a husband to take care of (though I don't have children, but hey, the cats are close enough!). If I can make time for this, I promise that you can too.

You can do this.

Edited to add this: Also, if that's not enough to get you going, consider the fact that you are at real risk for diabetes if you get to a high enough weight. That's what happened to me. I kept going and kept going and NOTHING stopped me until my doctor told me that I had type-2 diabetes, it was self-inflicted, and that if I DIDN'T start getting the weight off and caring about myself, I was going to die. That's exactly how he put it, too. "You're going to die if you don't do something about yourself. The ball's in your court."

Now, that was the equivalent of a cold shock of water to the face.

I hope, for your sake, that you don't have to hear your doctor say it to you. Because it WILL wake you up. It did me.

krennie8

Is it possible for you to buy an elliptical/treadmill/your choice other for home use? It might make you more motivated to work out.

Also, perhaps stop buying cookies, etc. Or buy small portions that are labelled just for your kids/husband. If you think of it as "theirs" and if you eat it they won't have any, it might keep you from eating it. Or like I said just stop buying them. Cookies shouldn't be in the house 24/7 anyway (imho) they're a special thing.

narfy88

As far as the junk food in your house goes, maybe you can make a 'junkfood cabinet' in your kitchen. Even make a sign that says "no mom zone" on the front to remind you don't even open it!

bcattoes

1) I don't have much help for this one other than STOP IT. Seriously, if one foot slipped over a cliff would just let your whole body fall. Stop using one tiny mistake as an excuse to pig out. Either you want to lose the weight or you don't. Decide.

2) Sweets are not a requirement for husbands or children, but if you have them in the house maybe make them less accessible. Put them in a back cupboard or on bottom shelf. Keep some lower calories sweets or sweet with protein or fiber (high fiber bars, protein bars, cocoa roast almonds, honey roast peanuts, etc.) on hand for yourself.

3) Do meal prep or cooking ahead of time. Have pre-sliced veggie on hand for a quick stir fry. Keep a big bowl of prechopped salad ingredients in the fridge. Get a crockpot and use it.

4) You can exercise while watching TV. Get a step, resistance bands, dumbbells, or something else small and use them while you watch the news. Set a reminder to get up every 30 min and do 25 jumping jacks (or whatever).

5) Stop begging for milkshakes

6) Set short term goals for yourself. This week I will not have a milkshake. Today I will walk 10,000 steps. I will not have a treat if I don't exercise. Make them meaningful but short term enough to meet often. Meeting goals is a great way to get motivated for the next goal, and meeting goals is something to be proud of. Tell your family your goals, so they can pat you on the back when you meet them.

MyOwnSunshine

I mean this in a helpful way, so please don't take it as an attack...

What I inferred from reading your paragraph of failings and excuses is:

"I JUST DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT."

Really, that's what all your excuses say.

If you cared enough about losing weight, you would get rid of the treats in your house, or at least ask others to buy them and keep them out of sight so you aren't tempted.

If you cared about losing weight, you would turn off the boring TV news that says the same thing over and over again 24 hours a day, and you would prep your meals and work out.

If you cared about losing weight, you wouldn't ask someone to buy you something that makes you gain weight, and you wouldn't blame your failures on your spouse's lack of support.

It's okay to not care about losing weight, or to not put in the effort to lose. Maybe you need to take a break and love yourself how you are. Just don't delude yourself that you're trying and putting forth great effort, yet failing. It sounds like you are trying to rationalize your apathy and lack of effort.

Others can help you with weight loss and work out strategies, but they can't instill desire, discipline and motivation if you lack it.

patsypooter

No matter what you eat, log it. If you've eaten an entire box of Oreo cookies, log it. Start holding yourself really accountable for every calorie that passes your lips. It's easy to just not log the bad days but that doesn't help you. Log everything, good or bad.

Tell your husband to NOT buy you any more junk. I would strangle mine if he did that. I can't refuse junk food if it's in my house.

I am lucky that I do not have kids and I just share my house with my fiance. I bake him treats for work but I have to have him hide them. No joke. If I know where the date squares or granola bars are, I will eat two of them and blow my daily calories right out of the water. It's embarrassing to have such little will power but I have to admit to myself that this is what I need to do to make sure I do not sabotage myself. I bake for my fiance on a full stomach so that I can put the baked goods away after and when he gets home he puts them in his hiding spot. Sounds silly, I know, but I would not have the willpower to know where they are and not eat them. I learned that lesson last week when nearly every day had a fricking date square or three in my logs >< I appreciate the sacrifices my fiance is making to help me along my journey so I want to make sure I am still able to make things for him to show that appreciation and to make sure he doesn't go back to buying boxed junk food.

Good luck and DO NOT beat yourself up about "failing". This is not a race, this is a journey and you will succeed and fail along the way. You just have to pick yourself back up, brush yourself back off and keep going. It is HARD WORK to diet in a house full of tempting food. VERY hard. I really feel for you. I would take this opportunity to get the kids and husband off sugar as well. Or if you need to, get a lock and lock up the food so you are not tempted by it. Have them hide it in their rooms. Seriously. Just figure out something that works.

You can do this. Have faith in yourself!