Family disproves of my fitness goals

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  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
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    1. Willpower - learn to say no
    2. You're an adult
    - Buy your own food
    - It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
    3. Get your own place
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    I understand boomeranging. and I know that I was lucky that my mom and I found a roommate relationship after a bit.

    here's the thing though - you did come back as an adult. and you are going to need to show them that. get your own groceries and use those. take over some of the cooking. do your own schedule rather than falling back to a "family schedule" that you probably had when you were a kid. and when they have comments about how they think you should be living, just shrug it off.
  • wonderbeard101
    wonderbeard101 Posts: 75 Member
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    I understand all that, moms are supposed to worry. I think she is afraid I will lose too much weight like I did when I first went to college so she tries to encourage eating when she can. I think she just needs to understand that I have my weight under control now and what I am doing is okay. I know my mom is going to worry, especially when she watches the Insanity workout, lol. But lately there have been more veggies in the fridge so it is nice that she is trying to help a little :smooched:

    If you've got a plan laid out for yourself, maybe try sitting down and going over it with your mom so that she can see that you have a handle on it. Go over your planned calories, the pros and cons of Insanity, etc. Show her that you've thought this through and that it's a reasonable approach.

    For the workouts, it might take time for them to adjust. It took a couple of years of consistent powerlifting before my mom started telling me "congratulations" for a big PR instead of "Ok, just don't hurt yourself." It's not that your mom isn't being supportive-- She absolutely is. However, her support leans to keeping you safe first. Show her that you're being consistently safe and the enthusiasm you're looking for will follow.
  • Confuzzled4ever
    Confuzzled4ever Posts: 2,860 Member
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    1. Willpower - learn to say no
    2. You're an adult
    - Buy your own food
    - It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
    3. Get your own place

    +1
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it

    What? That's so disrespectful. That's her mom's money and she can spend it how she wants. Holy crap. Not only that, if you did get rid of it - DONATE IT.

    OP, have you thought of buying your own food if it is that much of an issue eating what they do?
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    1. Willpower - learn to say no
    2. You're an adult
    - Buy your own food
    - It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
    3. Get your own place

    +1

    +2
  • DeadliftAddict
    DeadliftAddict Posts: 746 Member
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    In order for a lifestyle change, you're going to have to get comfortable being around those foods that you like and not gorging on them. Comfort food will be in your life for the rest of your life. You are going to have to figure out how you can manage your calories and macros and include or exclude those foods. There is no reason to exclude them unless it is a health reason or you just can't resist overeating them. Your parents don't have to change, you do. Sorry, but you are going to have to think of it this way. Good luck.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Well, you cannot expect them to change their lifestyle because you decided you were going to change yours. And for long term success, you need to change your relationship with food and learn that it is not the enemy anyway.

    Best of luck to you.<3
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    Based on what you said, I really doubt your mom is buying you those things because she's trying to sabotage your diet. She's buying them because she remembers you liking them and is trying to get you things you like. It's really very sweet, if a little misguided. She'd probably be thrilled if you gave her other ideas for "treats" to buy you, because her ultimate goal is probably just to make you happy. When you give her suggestions, maybe try to focus on how much you like the taste of whatever (instead of telling her how healthy it is) -- that way, she's still getting to give you something delicious. If "comfort food" is a big deal to her, let her give you comfort food! Just help her to choose comfort food that fits in with your new lifestyle.
  • Super_Amy
    Super_Amy Posts: 97 Member
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    1. Willpower - learn to say no
    2. You're an adult
    - Buy your own food
    - It's your body and your life, who cares what your parents think on that front.
    3. Get your own place

    +1

    +2

    +3
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    tumblr_mhvrszWt3k1rxxcw4o1_400.gif

    Seriously. Look within, kid.
  • felonebeats
    felonebeats Posts: 433
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    Be disciplined,buy your own food.I buy separate food from my gf.She eats what she wants(mostly crap)but i never touch it,i've eaten near enough the same 6 meals everyday for about a yr and a half and i love it
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    Well no one else in the house eats the cheez-its or ben and jerry's, so my mom buys the stuff even after I asked her numerous times to please stop. She knows those are my comfort foods. I have self control when it comes to eating that sort of stuff but I would rather it just not be around so much. I don't mind having a treat once in a while. I know that sometimes if you don't have that sort of food for a long time you may go crazy one day and eat way more than you should. Idk, I just feel like they are almost trying to sabotage my diet to a degree. Like they are both around 60yrs old and work all day, when they come home they eat a very big comfort food dinner because they consider that normal and they are both tired. My mother can't really work out because she has too many health issues and she worries about me constantly. I understand all that, moms are supposed to worry. I think she is afraid I will lose too much weight like I did when I first went to college so she tries to encourage eating when she can. I think she just needs to understand that I have my weight under control now and what I am doing is okay. I know my mom is going to worry, especially when she watches the Insanity workout, lol. But lately there have been more veggies in the fridge so it is nice that she is trying to help a little :smooched:

    Put the cheeze-it's in the cupboard (up high or buried in the back where you don't have to see them). Bury the ice cream in the back of the freezer under the frozen veggies and meats. Then you won't see them, but they're still there.

    May I ask how tall you are? (I haven't seen it asked yet) ... You may need to reassess your calorie goals if you are trying body recomp ("tone up & lose extra fat" were your words, I think), since you don't need much of a deficit. That may give you a bit of wiggle room for an occasional treat ... knowing I had yummy ice cream waiting if it would fit in my calories for the day has helped me pass up the donut or cookie that wasn't really all that good anyway :wink:

    As far as portions, does your mom serve your meals? It's time for that to stop, if so. The only child I still serve out for is the 2 year old, the others have been taught to do it on their own. Remind her you're an adult and can serve yourself. Then, if she complains about your portion size, say "I can always go back for more if I'm still hungry." Then eat slowly while you enjoy the family time, and maybe they'll forget you didn't have as much.

    When I lived with my grandma, or with my in-laws (when we hit some financial bumps) I made sure to do my workouts when they were still in bed, even if that meant getting up earlier. Mostly I was self-conscious, especially about trying new things. But that can definitely avoid comments about you doing insanity.

    HTH

    (edited for dumb grammar mistake :noway:)
  • Bounce4
    Bounce4 Posts: 288 Member
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    I think you'll just have to figure out how to not eat those foods. It is hard - I have to do it too and I'm torturing myself because I buy it for my kids, lmao. Us mom's - we buy our kids the things they like ;)

    And do insanity while she's at work. Problem solved on that one.

    How would she feel about you making supper a few times a week? She might love it if she's been working all day and is tired - and you could make any healthy option you wanted to on those days. win:win.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
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    You decide whether or not to put something in yer pie hole. Just don't eat it? I stare at boxes of pop tarts (granted, I bought them lol) but learning self control and balance is just as important as a good exercise routine.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
    Interesting....
  • jenmom2myboys
    jenmom2myboys Posts: 311 Member
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    It is their house and they paid for it. She doesnt have to eat it.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    So it's ok for her parents to buy food she specifically asks them not to buy when she's the only one that eats it, but it's not ok for her to throw it out?
    Interesting....

    Whose money is getting spent? The parents. So their stuff. Even if they are buying it for her, she can choose not to eat it.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Just throw out the food when she buys it if no one else eats it... wont take long till she stops buying it

    What? That's so disrespectful. That's her mom's money and she can spend it how she wants. Holy crap. Not only that, if you did get rid of it - DONATE IT.

    OP, have you thought of buying your own food if it is that much of an issue eating what they do?

    I completely agree with this! Do NOT throw it away.

    OP, they're not trying to sabotage you and I'm sure if you really thought about it, you'd realize that. You're the one accountable for what you put in your mouth. It'd be the same if you had a roommate or a live-in boyfriend or husband and/or kids or if you work in an office with folks pushing goodies. There will always be tempting food around that you have to deal with, this is just the first of many hurdles. You can't control what other people do or buy for you, you can only control how you react to it. You tried asking her to stop and that didn't work so just get over it and practice some self control.

    What helps me is to designate who the food belongs to and keep it in a certain place that's not easy to get to. My husband likes having cookies around. Normally that would be a HUGE temptation but they're his cookies so I don't touch them unless he offers me one. When this first started, I also had to keep them on a very high shelf towards the back so they were out of my reach but he could still get them (he's almost a foot taller than me). Might sound weird but it does work. So maybe since you don't want to eat it and your Mom spent her money on it, you can think of it as hers (even if she doesn't actually eat it). Put the crackers in a cupboard you wouldn't normally get into and put the Ben & Jerry's in a brown bag and hide them in the back and bottom of the freezer. Out of sight, out of mind.
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
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    Maybe it's feasible to say "Thanks for the ice cream treat. I've fallen in love with Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches. They're cheaper and amazing! Could we get that next time?" Or insert whatever alternative you can think of. Sometimes, just eating something that mom thinks you should have is all that she needs to see.

    I'm not a fan of the "throw it out" concept, mostly because it feels highly passive-aggressive to me (not to mention, it's wasteful and disrespectful in their own home. If it was your house they visited, knock yourself out with the throwing away. Just my opinion). I'm more a fan of finding a nice way to ask for what you'd rather have.

    Also, count a portion out and have some Cheez-Its and eat them in front of Mom.

    *Edited for clarification*

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