Emotional Eating...has anyone actually overcome it?
Jbarbo01
Posts: 240 Member
Going to get a bit deep here, I am struggling with emotional eating right now. I've bought books and been in therapy but man I just cannot seem to let go of it. I've been disappointed a lot by people in life on an emotional level (mostly parents) and its hard for me to let go of the constant comfort and guaranteed comfort food gives me. Has anyone actually been able to triumph over it by digging deep down and letting go of what emotional purpose food served for you or do you just do your best with counting and struggle with it? What did you do and what worked for you?
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I started by having a healthy relationship with food. It takes a lot of time and patience, but you can do it. I used to eat when I was bored, upset, happy, pretty much any emotion I felt I was eating. I LOVE FOOD lol. But when you start tracking and holding yourself accountable it helps A LOT. Learn how to tell when you're actually hungry instead of just emotional. Keep yourself busy, even if it's hard to find something to do(I tend to clean or go for walks). I still get cravings and when that happens I try to fit it into my calorie goal, if I can't I'll save it for the next day. It also might help if you went to see a therapist (I've been there and they really do help). Just know you can do this. Food is not your life, food is fuel that you need to live, you don't need to live to eat! I hope that has helped feel free to add me if you like, I'm always up for some new friends!0
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Yes I think I finally have overcome it. I LOVE food. I always have and always will. Don't get me wrong, there isn't a magic pill that will cure you of your desire to eat and enjoy. For me though, I have always used food as a reward for myself. Dealing with family is difficult: I load up on pasta and bread and focus on that during the family meal. Tough day at work? I sit in front of the TV with a glass of wine (or three!) and a bowl of ice cream. I was never terribly overweight though, due to a very physically demanding job....
That is until I had my son. Then all bets were off. I put on more than a pound a week during pregnancy and did not take it off after he was born. My birth experience was very traumatic and I turned to carbs and sugars to comfort me. My weight swelled.
And then I discovered my high blood pressure at age 28! Then I was suffering from edema in my legs and feet (just like pregnancy only there was no baby to excuse it) then my thyroid went out of whack.
I had to change how I looked at food because the very thing I love was killing me slowly (or maybe not so slowly). I began to research, really LEARN what was in the food I eat on a daily basis. Then I started tracking it and I was really really alarmed. I dealt with it the way I dealt with quitting smoking. I quit overeating cold turkey, switched to a primal blueprint diet and started moving. I gave myself no excuses and remind myself daily that a few moments of comfort now could mean a lot less years at the end of my life.
Now I get comfort in knowing that I love myself enough to take proper care of myself. I triumph in knowing that all the things that have been against me from birth (abandoned by both parents, abused mentally and in other ways as a child among many many other things) have not gotten the best of me. I have survived it all and not only survived but now I am thriving, happy, confident and in control of my body and my life. I reward myself in different ways now. Like new clothing, a trip out of town to a beautiful place or an afternoon hiking or enjoying my friends and family. I also have my son to inspire me to be healthy because I want nothing more than to be there for him in the way my parents were never there for me. I want to see him grow up and become a man and be there to help him whenever he needs it. I need to be in good shape for that.
Hope this ramble helps a little. I know where you are and I totally get it! Just remember that you deserve to feel great about yourself and your health. Triumph over your past by being happy and beating the odds!0 -
For me I have made it a challenge. What I put in my mouth is the one thing I CAN control. When work sucks (daily!) or I get stressed I want to dive into every snack I can find, but then I am letting others control me. When my kids are screaming or I have a project due, same thing. I log food, I stick to my log and I see losses. I am getting more and more aware of those emotional eating outbursts effective my losses and I don't want to see that number on the scale because of someone else.
I haven't been perfect and I have messed up, but overall I am doing it for me and I just have to stick to it. I made it mostly mandatory and it seems to help.0 -
I would medicate myself with food. You just have to stop. You have to let yourself feel the pain or boredom or whatever else it is you are trying to mask. It isn't easy and I still mess up, but you just start and then you just do.0
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I am so guilty of this, I work out more and if I slip and have a bad day I just get up the next day and start over.0
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Fantastic responses. Thank you all! It's really nice to know I'm not alone and this process is so hard. I figured it may have to be one of those things where you just make a choice between being chubby and cuddling with your food or being fit and healthy and facing the world head on and not using food to control your feelings about everything. Man is it hard to do the latter, these are some inspiring stories and tips though.0
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I love being healthy more than I love food!!!0
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bump for later0
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I have always been overweight and even as a child, had depression and because of that - I turned to food to medicate myself. I don't think I'll ever stop loving food or stop desiring having it in excess, but I just try to remind myself that I have to get healthy or else. The alternative (dying early) isn't something I want.
I remember a saying I saw on Facebook not long ago...something about food is the most overused antidepressant and exercise the most UNDER-used. I can't remember the actual wording but it really is so true. For me, exercise has helped boost my mood SO MUCH that I find when I do work out (whether it's yoga, a long walk, weights, whatever) i don't want to eat massive amounts of food/binge/what have you and I actually find my mood has lifted considerately!
So basically, my advice is more moving around!0 -
It's total broscience to say you HAVE to do this, but I eat small meals throughout the day and always save some calories for just before bed.
Mine wasn't so much emotional, but I'm programmed to want to snack before bed. I also eat too much when I'm hungry, so the "timed" eating works for me.0 -
I'm not perfect, let's just start there. But I'm better than I used to be. It's hard to overcome something that's such a basic need. And it's a terrible vicious cycle of guilt.
For me, and this is just me:
Step 1. Never, ever, ever be actually hungry. I in no way ever trust my body to tell me when I'm hungry. My body lies and my brain lies. I know I should eat by looking at the clock. And not by listening to my stomach or brain. If I ate 200 calories at noon, in no way do I actually need food before 2 pm. If I eat 1,000 calories at 8 am, in no way do I "need" any more food until 6 pm. If I've just eaten, and yet have an urge to eat, I sit down and look at my watch and figure out whether I'm ACTUALLY hungry or whether it's an emotional need I'm filling.
Step 2. Don't let a "treat" turn into an out of control binge. In conjunction with the above, by never actually ever being hungry, if something stressful happens, I'm much less likely to BINGE on food if I choose to treat my sadness with food. Like, I might eat more than 1 serving of chocolate, but if I'm not also fighting actual hunger at the same time I'm facing an emotional need, then I'm way, way less likely to go overboard and binge on the food I turn to.
Step 3. Never, ever, ever eat until I'm full. Because I'm simply never full.
Step 4. Treat stress with different coping skills. There's all kinds of coping skills you can apply when you're stressed. Food isn't the only one. It takes practice for some things to become habit, instead of reaching for food. Things that help me: walking, taking a bath, calling a friend, having a glass of wine, or my favorite: making some kind of overly complex meal, maybe something like homemade pizza using crust made 100% from scratch with yeast and sauce I make by starting with boiling and peeling whole tomatoes. Grinding the cheese from a block. Sauteeing the onions before putting them on the pizza. Etc. By the time I actually EAT the pizza (which may be 1000 calories, it's true) I've already dealt with the emotional stress, since it took me 3 hours to make the meal, and whatever it was I was sad about is long forgotten.
So I don't know if I've "overcome" emotional eating 100%. But I sure do it less.0 -
Yes!I started by having a healthy relationship with food. It takes a lot of time and patience, but you can do it. I used to eat when I was bored, upset, happy, pretty much any emotion I felt I was eating. I LOVE FOOD lol. But when you start tracking and holding yourself accountable it helps A LOT. Learn how to tell when you're actually hungry instead of just emotional. Keep yourself busy, even if it's hard to find something to do(I tend to clean or go for walks). I still get cravings and when that happens I try to fit it into my calorie goal, if I can't I'll save it for the next day. It also might help if you went to see a therapist (I've been there and they really do help). Just know you can do this. Food is not your life, food is fuel that you need to live, you don't need to live to eat! I hope that has helped feel free to add me if you like, I'm always up for some new friends!
^ This is solid advice.
I used to go for baked goods (doughnuts, chocolate chunk cookies, cupcakes) whenever I was depressed, which was everyday. You have to find another coping mechanism for whatever is causing you to react emotionally. Also, don't have the foods you go for readily available.
I barely even think of food when I'm in that frame of mind anymore. 0 -
You have to let yourself feel the pain or boredom or whatever else it is you are trying to mask.
^^QFT0 -
I have overcome emotional eating buy replacing it with sex :bigsmile:0
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Hi, I too struggle with emotional eating - when I'm stressed or upset/angry. I think when I started to acknowledge what I was feeling, I started to depend less on letting food "comfort" me. I focus more on what other things made me feel better - going home after a stressful day at work, reading a good book, going out with friends, being with family, etc. I started to think less of food. I admit there are still moments when I get caught off-guard, but these are being coming less and less now. Could this work for you?0
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I found the quote I was referring to in my above comment, though I have no idea who said it:
"Food is the most abused anxiety drug. Exercise is the most underutilized antidepressant."
So that's really my advice. More exercise - whatever kind you like. I enjoy long walks.0 -
Yes!I started by having a healthy relationship with food. It takes a lot of time and patience, but you can do it. I used to eat when I was bored, upset, happy, pretty much any emotion I felt I was eating. I LOVE FOOD lol. But when you start tracking and holding yourself accountable it helps A LOT. Learn how to tell when you're actually hungry instead of just emotional. Keep yourself busy, even if it's hard to find something to do(I tend to clean or go for walks). I still get cravings and when that happens I try to fit it into my calorie goal, if I can't I'll save it for the next day. It also might help if you went to see a therapist (I've been there and they really do help). Just know you can do this. Food is not your life, food is fuel that you need to live, you don't need to live to eat! I hope that has helped feel free to add me if you like, I'm always up for some new friends!
^ This is solid advice.
I used to go for baked goods (doughnuts, chocolate chunk cookies, cupcakes) whenever I was depressed, which was everyday. You have to find another coping mechanism for whatever is causing you to react emotionally. Also, don't have the foods you go for readily available. I barely even think of food when I'm in that frame of mind anymore.
All of the above!! It can be done, it just takes time. I reward myself by going in my hot tub, going to bed early with a good book, or a walk alone, Best of luck! 0 -
100% of the time? No. Is it 100,000 times better than it used to be? God, yes.
For me, I was diagnosed with an eating disorder in college and did all the things one does for that (nutritionist visits, dietician appointments, therapy, etc). Meh. It didn't help all that much.
There was no great big thing that transformed me, honestly. I just hit a point where I felt capable of making a change. I did a Whole30 - which was unrelated - and I was so determined to see it through to the end and prove to myself I could do it that the determination carried over the points where I might eat emotionally. Now - there was a stressful period in there but no big stressors or triggers, which might have derailed it. But having done that and having stuck it out, I mentally hit a new place in regards to food. It really hit home for me that it is entirely my choice about what I put in my mouth and chew and swallow. No one else is making me eat anything. In most circumstances, I have the ability and the power to say no to cravings or to let them rule me.
The emotional pull of eating is still very strong - but now I ask myself what it is going to accomplish, and whether I will better after or not. Sometimes, honestly, the answer is 'yes, I need that comfort, now.' Hell, yesterday was one of those days - I was about to lose my **** entirely, and I said "Eff my lunch." and went to starbucks and got a chai tea latte and a piece of pound cake, which I ate with my crumbly cheddar cheese and it was AWESOME. And I was in a much better mood afterwards. Yeah, my calories for the day were blown, and yeah, I'll need to make that up with some extra exercise this weekend if I want to see a good weekly deficit, but at that moment it was right. I was in control of those choices - they weren't in control of me.
And giving in to that, well, it's so much better regulated now. A few years ago, it would have been a venti macchiato and a piece of pound cake and that brownie that looked good, and hell I should have some protein, and Taco Bell is open, so let me get some nachos too. And I'd've eaten all of that and felt horrible physically and later emotionally. So being at the point where this issue doesn't control me, where I know in my head that I am in charge and that it's ok sometimes to have something off the plan? Huge, huge improvement.0 -
I'm not perfect, let's just start there. But I'm better than I used to be. It's hard to overcome something that's such a basic need. And it's a terrible vicious cycle of guilt.
For me, and this is just me:
Step 1. Never, ever, ever be actually hungry. I in no way ever trust my body to tell me when I'm hungry. My body lies and my brain lies. I know I should eat by looking at the clock. And not by listening to my stomach or brain. If I ate 200 calories at noon, in no way do I actually need food before 2 pm. If I eat 1,000 calories at 8 am, in no way do I "need" any more food until 6 pm. If I've just eaten, and yet have an urge to eat, I sit down and look at my watch and figure out whether I'm ACTUALLY hungry or whether it's an emotional need I'm filling.
Step 2. Don't let a "treat" turn into an out of control binge. In conjunction with the above, by never actually ever being hungry, if something stressful happens, I'm much less likely to BINGE on food if I choose to treat my sadness with food. Like, I might eat more than 1 serving of chocolate, but if I'm not also fighting actual hunger at the same time I'm facing an emotional need, then I'm way, way less likely to go overboard and binge on the food I turn to.
Step 3. Never, ever, ever eat until I'm full. Because I'm simply never full.
Step 4. Treat stress with different coping skills. There's all kinds of coping skills you can apply when you're stressed. Food isn't the only one. It takes practice for some things to become habit, instead of reaching for food. Things that help me: walking, taking a bath, calling a friend, having a glass of wine, or my favorite: making some kind of overly complex meal, maybe something like homemade pizza using crust made 100% from scratch with yeast and sauce I make by starting with boiling and peeling whole tomatoes. Grinding the cheese from a block. Sauteeing the onions before putting them on the pizza. Etc. By the time I actually EAT the pizza (which may be 1000 calories, it's true) I've already dealt with the emotional stress, since it took me 3 hours to make the meal, and whatever it was I was sad about is long forgotten.
So I don't know if I've "overcome" emotional eating 100%. But I sure do it less.
Some awesome advice there.0 -
Food doesn't provide guaranteed comfort. It's only a minor, fleeting moment of satisfaction. Once you come to grips with that fact, REALLY understand it, you'll be light years toward success.
My emotional eating came in 2 forms: first, the did-I-really-just-eat-all-that eating. The times when I realize I just put down waaaaaay too much food. That's bad enough, but by far worse is the self-loathing eating, the eating-because-it-doesn't-really-matter, the I'll-never-get-a-handle-on-this eating. The I'm-not-worth-it eating. It's devastating.
Counting calories and planning food helps tremendously with the first type of emotional eating. But there is no counting or planning that will help you with the second. You have to decide you are worth it. You have to decide that, no matter what has happened until now, it is perfectly acceptable to start at this moment. That this moment makes a difference. That the decision to eat well and exercise isn't just for other people. That you matter and you are worth it. That if you say "F it" just one more time, you might break. I *know* you know what I mean.
Do it. Do it for you.0 -
Another tool you can use is to come up with a list of other comforting activities that you can do when you feel like eating (things like bubble baths or whatever makes you feel cared for). Write them down and put the list on your refrigerator so you remember to "check in" with yourself and figure out if you're really hungry or if you just need some comfort. For me, it's important to have a concrete list that I can read -- if I trust myself to just keep it in my head, I won't remember anything when I actually need it.0
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OP - you sound like me. I did therapy and even a women's eating disorder support group for my emotional eating (and dealing with disappointing parents).
I think I got to a point where it just struck me right in the face why I was eating.....and realizing that the eating wasn't working to make me feel any better. I think I fooled myself into thinking that the food was working and I was confronted with the fact that it wasn't (I won't go into it publicly but there was a precipitating event).
Anyway, I think I have replaced eating food to cope with going to the gym to cope. I replaced one behavior with another.
I LOVE how I feel working out. I love feeling in control of what I eat. I stared heavy weight lifting and it has given me a ton of confidence, so much so that I have been approached at the gym multiple times by younger, attractive men (I am 46 and still have pounds to lose). The lifting has given me focus. The good nutrition (making sure I"m getting enough of the right things) is also a focus.
People use food because it feels like ti works. I remember feeling awful at the thought of not getting to overeat. It actually felt like a loss when I contemplated it. But when I was ready it didn't feel that way. It felt like the eating was an albatross around my neck that I wanted to shed.
It's been 4 months with no emotional eating. I feel great! I still have treats when I want them, but cakes and other sweets don't hold the same allure for me any more. A few days ago, I made a tuna casserole, something I could never manage to eat in moderation in the past. Well, I had one portion and that was it. It felt good to be able to do that.
I wish I had a formula for overcoming it, but what worked for me was being forced to confront why I was eating, forced to realize it didn't help, and then getting pissed and motivated.
Good luck to you!0 -
So many true thoughts here!0
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I have overcome emotional eating buy replacing it with sex :bigsmile:
I notice you typed "buy" instead of "by." Are you trying to tell us something?0 -
I'm not perfect, let's just start there. But I'm better than I used to be. It's hard to overcome something that's such a basic need. And it's a terrible vicious cycle of guilt.
For me, and this is just me:
Step 1. Never, ever, ever be actually hungry. I in no way ever trust my body to tell me when I'm hungry. My body lies and my brain lies. I know I should eat by looking at the clock. And not by listening to my stomach or brain. If I ate 200 calories at noon, in no way do I actually need food before 2 pm. If I eat 1,000 calories at 8 am, in no way do I "need" any more food until 6 pm. If I've just eaten, and yet have an urge to eat, I sit down and look at my watch and figure out whether I'm ACTUALLY hungry or whether it's an emotional need I'm filling.
Step 2. Don't let a "treat" turn into an out of control binge. In conjunction with the above, by never actually ever being hungry, if something stressful happens, I'm much less likely to BINGE on food if I choose to treat my sadness with food. Like, I might eat more than 1 serving of chocolate, but if I'm not also fighting actual hunger at the same time I'm facing an emotional need, then I'm way, way less likely to go overboard and binge on the food I turn to.
Step 3. Never, ever, ever eat until I'm full. Because I'm simply never full.
Step 4. Treat stress with different coping skills. There's all kinds of coping skills you can apply when you're stressed. Food isn't the only one. It takes practice for some things to become habit, instead of reaching for food. Things that help me: walking, taking a bath, calling a friend, having a glass of wine, or my favorite: making some kind of overly complex meal, maybe something like homemade pizza using crust made 100% from scratch with yeast and sauce I make by starting with boiling and peeling whole tomatoes. Grinding the cheese from a block. Sauteeing the onions before putting them on the pizza. Etc. By the time I actually EAT the pizza (which may be 1000 calories, it's true) I've already dealt with the emotional stress, since it took me 3 hours to make the meal, and whatever it was I was sad about is long forgotten
So I don't know if I've "overcome" emotional eating 100%. But I sure do it less.
All great advice! I thought I was the only one that did #4! :flowerforyou:0 -
I used to emotionally eat / binge. I haven't in six weeks when I decided to change my life. I haven't dealt with the issues that caused me to binge, but I made myself stop. I'd binge if I was sad or bored or happy or as a reward. It was my coping mechanism, for sure. My depression has been really, really terrible the last year and I'd try to fill the void with food.
Researching health, nutrition, recipes and reading MFP has replaced that. Doing research about my new lifestyle is the first thing I've been interested in, and it's how I spend a lot of my free time now. I've also finally changed my eating habits for myself, for my health and for my future (the right reasons, for me) rather than to please my parents or a doctor or anything else. Since my last binge, work has been very stressful, my family's 18 year old dog died, my dad got bad health news and my depression has still be very bad. Normally I'd binge, but I've been determined to stick to my goals and haven't felt any temptation.
I hope you're able to overcome it. Remember it's okay if you slip up. Before eating try to think about why you want to eat something (truly hungry or to fill a void) and let yourself actually feel your emotions instead of masking them with food.0 -
I have overcome emotional eating buy replacing it with sex :bigsmile:
I notice you typed "buy" instead of "by." Are you trying to tell us something?
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha! Total *kitten* Typo!!! LMFAO!0 -
I did! :bigsmile:Going to get a bit deep here, I am struggling with emotional eating right now. I've bought books and been in therapy but man I just cannot seem to let go of it. I've been disappointed a lot by people in life on an emotional level (mostly parents) and its hard for me to let go of the constant comfort and guaranteed comfort food gives me. Has anyone actually been able to triumph over it by digging deep down and letting go of what emotional purpose food served for you or do you just do your best with counting and struggle with it? What did you do and what worked for you?
It took a lot of time, some therapy, and learning to love myself. I also worked hard to change my relationship with food. Now, there are no good or bad foods, now low calories, no more of that cheating diet mentality, and I actually feel...well....sorta normal. 0 -
Not 100%, but I'd say I've overcome it about 90%. It took A LOT of time. The biggest thing that helped me was writing down how I was feeling in a journal whenever I felt the urge to comfort eat. It was hard at first and I definitely gave in a lot at the beginning. But, since I was also focused on healthy eating (I know people say on here that you can eat whatever you want, etc. and while that is true, if there's an emotional aspect to something then you might need to cut it out for a while), when I did comfort eat, the food no longer tasted the same and didn't have the same pleasurable/comforting effect. Not sure if that makes sense. I still slip up every now and then, but it's not to the same extent. Case in point: I had a TERRIBLE day at work yesterday. I bought a box of klondike ice cream bars and only ate one. Previously I would have eaten the entire box. Technically I was still emotionally eating, but the end result was not as bad.
I think you know though that you need to address what is causing you to eat emotionally. The issue is not food...0 -
This post got me thinking... I was initially going to say that "Oh, yes. I've overcome it." I now keep healthier options in the house. I chew gum and I drink green team.
Then I realized that the moment I DO have crap in the house and everything hits the fan, that no, I haven't overcome it. If anything, I've gotten better at avoiding the issue.0
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