In denial, need brutal honesty

lindabeth333

If you dont care - why should we?

Diabetes is a terrible disease - my nephew struggles every day but he doesnt have the choice you do - he is Type 1 and would give anything or do anything to cure himself.

rashaad7

The most brutally honest thing that to do is record, or log in, everything you eat. Let this site show you what that food consumption will do for you, or to you. Be honest about the quantity you want to consume. And then, find some type of exercise that you can do that you will do consistently. I tried a hard core body pump class that I could not keep up in for the entire hour. So I switched to an exercise that I could do for at my pace for the entire 60 minutes.

You must also get off of your pity pot. You are young enough to correct this before the end of the year if you would just start with the very next meal that you eat. Making the right decisions one meal at a time puts you in control of what you can change, your mind. Train your mind to accept the fact that for this meal you will not eat what you know will hurt you and make you feel bad later on.

And if that doesn't work, look at me. I am 44 and I am just now finally getting it. I have finally accepted the fact that I am responsible for that meal and what it is. NO matter what stressors are around me, I am still responsible for the meal in front of me.

BarbBlue

Coming from experience, nothing is going to make you do this until you are ready! If you are not ready nothing anyone says or does will do anything to change your behavior. Having said that, you need to do what is best for you and be honest with yourself. I wish you luck. This is a really had process that I have been battling all my life. I am still battling. I wish I wasn't, but that's the problem with being overweight..I feel like it is an ongoing process that needs to always be kept up with or else it just falls to the side.

Xingy01

My grandfather is overweight, has been his whole life. He has had diabetes since his 40s. He has sleep apnea due to his weight and could have died in his sleep before it was discovered. Having diabetes that long has destroyed his kidneys and now he's been on dialysis for several years which is very hard on him. As poor as his health is, he's lucky that he didn't die earlier. Heart attacks aren't something that just happen to old people. You could have one tomorrow.

This is why I'm losing weight. I don't want to die. I don't want to develop diabetes and have my kidneys shut down then go through dialysis multiple times a week. I don't want to die from sleep apnea or heart attack or stroke. I want to live as long as possible so that I can spend that time with my family.

Do you want to sleep with a mask over your face every night? Do you want to go through several hours of dialysis treatment every 2 days? Do you want to take 30 pills a day? That's where you're headed if you don't get a grip on it. Not caring about your diabetes and not losing weight is going to cause you to have a miserable life if you even survive. Dying early or having very poor health is not worth that stupid second helping of food. That food isn't going anywhere. When you're healthy, retired, and 65 years old...you'll be able to go out and eat a moderate portion of your favorite foods instead of being dead.

sloth3toes

Check the sexypants link, and this one...

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1235566-so-you-re-new-here

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You need this guy to shake some sense into you.



In the words of AC/DC

'You're only young but you're gonna die

That's all I got.

HollisGrant

I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

I felt that way years ago when I wanted to stop smoking. I knew all the health reasons. I was tired of colds, sinus infections, and worrying that I might have throat cancer every time I got a sore throat. I was starting to develop a persistent little cough. I knew all the health reasons. I still couldn't quit.

I had to find my own personal reason. For me, I realized that I was like an alcoholic or a drug addict. I couldn't get through the little ups and downs of the day without cigarettes. I got mad at myself. I told myself that smoking once in a while for enjoyment was one thing, but I was not going to be an addict. I had more personal pride than that. I also realized I was very much an addict and signed up for classes.

You are neurotic about food. You have all the addiction signs, including the guilt.

Your head knows. Your heart is not listening. Find your own reason plus get professional help so you can stick with it during the transition to a better life.

ajcrusher

I've been overweight my whole married life but majorly so for the past 20 years or so and it seems I spent the majority of my kids' childhoods on some diet or another. What's the big deal right? I bet any household in America has a family member on a diet on any given day. My oldest son began to pack on some weight but still it was no big deal. I tried to encourage him to eat healthy, all the while trying to starve myself during the day and binging at night. Then he began to develop some strange eating patterns and he dropped a LOT of weight. My son was anorexic at 13. He said his friends at school that were teasing him started him on this path but I need to take responsibility. I wasn't giving him a healthy view and appreciation of food. I was teaching him all the wrong things. I was yo-yo dieting and showing him that food was the enemy and needs to be removed and he did it. Luckily, we were able to get him treatment and he was able to turn himself around. But think of what you're teaching your children about how they should treat their own bodies. Should they try to be healthy and do what's right when you don't? You not only need to be around for them but you need to be their example. Let them know that life is precious and if we don't take care of ourselves, we'll lose it. I didn't do that for my son and it could have cost him his life.

elisa123gal

Sounds like maybe you're a food addict. You have issues with food and you need to sort that out by either reading up on the subject or seeking professional help if you can afford it.

I think there is a group called "over eaters anonymous" I'm sure they have a website and a forum where you can explore more.

good luck…and you are reaching out and that is a great first step.

TavistockToad

I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

I am 32 years old, 5'8 and weigh 100kg (220lbs). I have been told that I have Type 2 diabetes by my doctor but I don't care. I have had gestational diabetes with my 2 pregnancies so I know what diabetes is all about and I refuse to accept that I have Type 2 now. I had my gall bladder removed at 26 years old because I had obviously eaten so much crap in those years (it does also run in my family though). A couple of years ago I saw a personal trainer twice a week and increased my fitness levels but couldn't get the food under control and never ended up losing weight during that time. I have now been seeing another better trainer for the last 7 months, starting at 2 times per week and for the last 3 months, 4 times a week. Again, improved fitness and muscles. Over that time I lost 5 kg but have put most of it back on, again because I cant get the eating right.

I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons including overall health, self esteem, easier to play with my kids etc. I also cant stop shoving food in my mouth and 4 intense workouts a week isn't enough to make the weight disappear whilst doing this.
I am destroying myself and I want to change but I am in denial. Could someone please say to me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I don't respond to motivational quotes but I do respond to brutal honesty, truth, the no bull**** approach, tell me like it is etc. Please don't spare my feelings. I need to hear this. Please. I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

You admit you don't watch to change, so how do you think anyone can help you if you won't help yourself? You'll just use this as another excuse... 'I asked random internet people to help me and they didn't... it's their fault I am killing myself with food'

LKArgh

You are not in denial. You know how bad things are, you just love food more than yourself or your kids. Simple as this. And no one can help you or tell you anything you do not already know.

mfp2014mfp

So you decided to be a parent? Then step up and lead by example, if you dont love yourself enough to do it for you, do it for the children you willingly bought into the world so they wont adopt your habits and have to face what you do now.

lizaurelia

Hey, I enjoyed reading your post. Honesty is the only way - the only thing I can relate to - and you're honest. In 2011 I was about 140 pounds, now I'm at about 207. Talk about denial. I stopped going out with friends and doing social activities because I was depressed. The more I stayed home alone, the more I watched TV and thought about the food in the kitchen. Sugary or salty food was my feel good. Now, here I am. I'm 50, and never married. I never thought for a minute I live a loveless life, but the bigger I get, the lower the quality of guy who is interested in me gets. I won't date the guys who want to date me.

I know a lot of people who have lost weight fairly easily buy changing WHAT THEY EAT and that what is mostly vegetables, now that it's summer, fruit is a good option too.

Today I vow, and I want you come on this ride with me, to eat 80% of my diet clean raw fruit and vegetables.

1. fruit
2. tossed salad
3. a low fat protein

Thoughts?

corgicake

Brutal honesty? Here ya go... I'm the grown up son of someone who is bigger than you, but not as much as you may figure. Hopefully this helps.

Diabetes is evil. Flat out EVIL. It started out for my mom as something she could diet her way out of. Had she done so and not eaten her way back into it, she wouldn't be looking at ever ramped up doses of metformin and perpetually out of control A1C numbers. By neglecting this, she is setting herself up for shots and circulation issues. There are people missing feet and body parts because of diabetes. She also has mobility issues and has been missing out for years on things she wanted to do and couldn't because of her size.

Would you be okay with going to the county fair and not being able to keep up with the six year old you brought with?
Would you be okay with that six year old sitting around for hours and eating huge portions because that's what they see?
Would you be okay with hearing that they nearly got put on blood pressure medicine - in college?
Would you be okay with hearing them rant about the targeted ads on Facebook for bypass surgeons and specialty stores?


That fourth 'okay with' is fictional, courtesy of consistently using a good privacy add-on with my internet browser. A couple weeks of turning it off and it may not be. What helped and is helping to turn things around for me would be growing up in a community that still valued home ec classes being taught in schools, the doctor who had the guts to say he nearly put me on blood pressure pills, and all the hippies who have pushed to get biking to be seen as a viable method of transportation.

cavia

My father had type 2 diabetes and refused to modify his diet or even check his blood sugar. The excess sugar in his bloodstream destroyed his blood vessels. He ended up losing his vision in his left eye and his left foot because his toe went gangrenous. The stench was horrendous. He also went senile thanks to all the microbleeds into his brain so he wasn't even in a position to be able to recognize that his foot needed medical attention before it was too late. He spent his last 6 months in hospital confused about why he was there and suffering intensely.

That was hard to watch as an adult. Do you give a carp about your children? Buck the eff up and start taking care of your health today. Your body is making do right now. Don't fool yourself. Just because you don't feel the damaging effects doesn't mean damage isn't being done. But eventually your body will be so badly damaged it won't be able to make do. By then it may very well be too late.

Unless you want to leave your children orphaned or with a disabled mother they have to take care of, then carry on.

fheppy

your post screams depression. Try Inositol, its vitamin b8. I take it for about a month now, and it works wonders. take the recommended 3tablets per day as on the box.
I started taking it other reasons but i can't believe how good i feel now since i take it. I stopped nail biting and lip biting, and i feel much more positive about everything. i think it surely would help with your denial, i used to be in denial myself. its inexpensive and its 'just' a vitamin so you don't have anything to lose if you try it.

cbarrett64

My husband was diagnosed as type II diabetes when he as 28. It also ran in his family, and he didn't change his eating habits or take care of his diabetes. We had a daughter together, and she watched her dad slowly kill himself. First he lost a toe, then part of his leg, then all of his leg. He had a heart attack, nearly went blind and almost died several times, and then he finally did at age 47.

My daughter, who is now 20 still suffers mentally from watching her dad kill himself. And when I say kill himself, he made the choice not to take care of himself, and he died as a result. He was selfish and so are you. If you have kids, you have an obligation to think of them instead of yourself. Do the right thing and take care of yourself for your kids. They deserve to grow up with a mom and not have to constantly worry about their mommy being sick or dying. They did not choose you, you chose to have them. Please do the right thing for them.

In love,

Cherri

Stonekerry

There's a lot of good info on here from people. Read it. I'm certainly no expert, not in medical issues, fitness or nutrition - but I have been a yo-yo dieter for years and for me it was about changing my mind set and not setting myself up for failure.
Don't look at this as a never-ending diet - if you do it becomes discouraging and you are more likely to fail.
Take it one day, or even one hour at a time and just try to make a better choice than you would have done previously.

I started by being 100% honest with myself - I ate what I wanted, and would usually eat, but made sure I weighed everything and logged it on here so that I could see where I was. Then, after a few weeks, I looked back at my diary and tried to work out how I could make some small changes that would improve things - for example, rather than the sandwich with butter, mayo, endless cheese and a large bag of crisps, I changed it to a salad wrap with an apple and a small bag of crisps and saved myself about 300 calories. It was just as yummy and I wasn't depriving myself of anything.
Point is, start somewhere......
Feel free to add me if you want some support

b7bbs

The only thing I'm going to tell you is that YOU will change when YOU are ready. There is nothing anyone can say to you that will suddenly make you want to change. You say you are at rock bottom, but I don't believe it. If you were, you'd already be making the changes you need to make.

That said, I wish you the best! Good luck to you in your journey!

I agree. I made the choice to change my life and lose weight because I had a breakthrough on my own and was ready to change my life, and I just did it. Friends, acquaintances, doctors can tell you to lose weight, but for some people, that won't make you change until you have your own breakthrough. You don't want to have people make you feel bad about yourself or be mean in order to make the change. You want to go into this with a positive mindset.

One day I just had it with my weight and started to eat better and exercise. I also had a major breakthrough watching this show on YouTube called Supersize vs Superskinny. This show is based in Britain and it takes someone who is superskinny and someone who is supersize and they switch diets in order for them to realize how bad their eating habits are and all the health problems they can get from their eating habits if they don't find a middle ground. This show made me look at food completely differently, and it really helps me stay motivated to lose weight so I don't have health problems. Maybe the show will help you too. I watch it everyday. I hope this helps.

Best of luck to you! You can do this! Just start now, not later. Friend me if you want.

MysteriousMerlin

You DO know what happens to untreated or out of control diabetes, right? Especially when you're diagnosed at a young age? I was diagnosed at 31...

If you're not aware of the dangers of out of control diabetes, you'd better start reading up. It's ridiculous that you don't believe your doctor. You HAD gestational diabetes. Did you know you're 7x more likely to develop Type 2 if you've had gestational?
http://ndep.nih.gov/media/fs_post-gdm.pdf

You have kids. I assume you want to be around and HEALTHY when they're grown. Want to be there for your future grandkids? Grow up and face the facts. You caused this disease by your unhealthy eating habits and sedentary lifestyle.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE HEALTHY NOW.

Start making small changes now. Today. Not tomorrow, not Monday, but today. Make 1 change today. Just 1. You owe it to your kids and the rest of your family and those who love you to do what you can to prevent or slow down the effects diabetes will have on your body.

Talk to your doctor, take a diabetic education class. It's very informative and will help you get started on the right track.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last 6 years. I know my previous lifestyle directly impacted my current infertility issues.

I'm honestly angry with you right now. You have NO excuse for not wanting to do something about your diagnosis. Take responsibility! Get moving! Today! Start today!

Cathalain

I was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes on 9/11/2012. How's that for irony?

That was my wake-up call. Because it was finally brought HOME to me that I'd done it all to myself. I didn't care, just like you. Only when you're faced with sinking a huge needle into your stomach twice a day and taking a boatload of pills - for the rest of your life - suddenly, hey, I gave a damn about myself.

My father had his foot amputated because he didn't care about himself enough to fix HIS diabetes.

Is that what you want for yourself? Call the funeral home and tell them your wishes, because it's what will happen. You want to hurt your family, your spouse, your kids? Do nothing about this, just go on your merry way.

Otherwise, start eating right. Exercise - it really does help, trust me. I've lost 117 pounds since that diagnosis. I've cut my A1C from a staggering 10.3 to a reasonable 5.1. I'm in control of my diabetes, it's not controlling me. I am no longer on ANY medication, needles or otherwise. It CAN be done.

You just have to love yourself enough to do it. And I've been there, too - I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD) in 2006. Yep, that's a MAJOR mental illness, folks. If I can dig myself out of the hell I was in, SO CAN YOU. You really can!

Are you ready to do this? Think hard about that. Do you WANT to die? Or start living the life you want? It's really up to you. Like my doctor said to me on the day of my diagnosis - "The ball's in your court. I can't make you do anything you don't want to."

You'll make the right decision for yourself, I'm sure.

Chezzie84

Ok I will be brutally honest. Sorry if this offends anyone.

Get a grip with yourself. You have 2 children who depend on you for everything. Not just for you to look after them but to be a role model.
What message is to sending to them if you don't look after yourself?
What are your excuses going to be when you cant play with them because your too big to move?
What are your excuses going to be when you lose your sight and cant watch a school play or graduations?
Who will you blame?

You need to get your priorities straight.

Cathalain

You have NO excuse for not wanting to do something about your diagnosis. Take responsibility! Get moving! Today! Start today!

Well put, and much better said than I ever could have. Bravo.

honestyloverespect

This seems like a deep rooted issue. Once I got done reading this it left me with wanting to ask many questions. The truth lies within yourself. You know that your not treating yourself right. It seems like you have psychological problems. You need to change the way that you think. Why don't you care? Why don't you love yourself? Have you always had weight issues? Do you have anyone in your life that truly matters? Your a mother with kids, that should be the reason you shape up!

kikilita

You might also want to look into therapy. Seems like more than just a weight issue. You've said your eating is out of control. Sounds like it could be an emotional eating thing, but none of us here can diagnose you. The regular doctors have already found you have diabetes and given you recommendations on what to do. You need to find out why your eating is so out of control and why you can't stop it. I'd also bring it up again to the regular physician just in case its an issue related to the thyroid, but judging from you post, it sounds kind of psychological. Just because it runs in the family doesn't mean it has to run your life.

Good luck to you!

Fats374

You sound like my sister... she passed away...
Just know if you can not or will not take care of yourself at least do it for some one else!!
Stop, do not hate yourself! :noway:

Amandawith3kids

if you cant be honest with yourself, how the heck do you expect others to do so?

grow up, put on your big girl panties, and do what needs to be done. you are acting like a child. "i dont want to.. i'm in denial" grow up. just stop and think about somebody else instead of what YOU dont want to do. you brought those precious children into this world, you need to buck up and do what it takes to BE HERE for them when they grow up. "i dont want to" will be cold words indeed to your children when you are dead, and they had to watch you die a horrible horrible death.

there IS no excuse. man up and do it.

eta: forgot a word

SingingSingleTracker

I am in denial about my health and have tried lots of things to really knock it in to me how bad things are but it's just not registering. All the people in my life don't know what is going on with me and I don't want to turn to them.
I need to hit ROCK BOTTOM. I would like some brutal honesty please to wake me up and see what I have done to myself.

I am 32 years old, 5'8 and weigh 100kg (220lbs). I have been told that I have Type 2 diabetes by my doctor but I don't care. I have had gestational diabetes with my 2 pregnancies so I know what diabetes is all about and I refuse to accept that I have Type 2 now. I had my gall bladder removed at 26 years old because I had obviously eaten so much crap in those years (it does also run in my family though). A couple of years ago I saw a personal trainer twice a week and increased my fitness levels but couldn't get the food under control and never ended up losing weight during that time. I have now been seeing another better trainer for the last 7 months, starting at 2 times per week and for the last 3 months, 4 times a week. Again, improved fitness and muscles. Over that time I lost 5 kg but have put most of it back on, again because I cant get the eating right.

I want to lose weight for a variety of reasons including overall health, self esteem, easier to play with my kids etc. I also cant stop shoving food in my mouth and 4 intense workouts a week isn't enough to make the weight disappear whilst doing this.
I am destroying myself and I want to change but I am in denial. Could someone please say to me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. I don't respond to motivational quotes but I do respond to brutal honesty, truth, the no bull**** approach, tell me like it is etc. Please don't spare my feelings. I need to hear this. Please. I don't have anyone else I can turn to.

Kudos to you for seeking the help of a personal trainer, and the time you have been dedicating to exercising. At least you have that part going for you at the moment.

I don't buy it that "you don't care". That might be a protective mechanism you are using that helps mask that you indeed do care and that is why you are posting. I also don't believe that one has to hit "rock bottom" or suffer some sort of an event that is considered hitting "rock bottom" to make a simple lifestyle change to start losing weight and turn things around. We constantly make changes and choices in our life on a daily basis without having to hit any sort of a "rock bottom".

I'm not sure you are in "denial" as you certainly point out things that you are coherent about with regard to the diabetes, the need to exercise, the need to cut down on weight. However, the application of selecting how much you eat simply needs to be addressed. We could label that part "denial" at least in terms of whether or not you are aware of how many calories you consume on a daily basis compared to how many you actually need. If we are going to be brutally honest - that's where our brutality should be focused.

If you don't already, start to track absolutely everything you eat - and you have to be brutally honest here with yourself and not cheat on that. Load it all into the MFP App every meal, every snack, every day to start to see what kinds of food have what amounts of calories.

A cup of pineapple has 82 calories and can be very satisfying and filling.
A cup of ice cream has 283 calories in it.
A cup of Grape Nuts has 420 calories in it.
A cup of raisins has 494 calories in it.
A cup of sugar has 773 calories in it.
A cup of olive oil has 1910 calories in it.

And so on and so forth. Once you set your current Goals in the Diet Profile at MFP which includes weight, height, gender, age, your current activity level and your goal of how much weight per week you would like to use - you'll have a brutally honest number to deal with for calories. There are other sources to get this number as well, but for starters it will be honest and help guide you.

Just because you work out doesn't mean that your body really needs to chow down at random following the work out. Realize that you have fired up the oven, the burn - and the body will respond by burning the calories for up to 24 hours after a workout. Sure, give it a little recovery snack, and then follow it up with your normal calorie restricted meal. But don't overeat. Allow the oven/furnace to burn and do its thing.

If you approach it from a daily calorie count, sure - you are allowed to "stuff your face" after all that exercise, but only up to the number of calories that your Goal/Diet Profile says you can stuff. If your daily limit is 1400 calories, or 1600 calories, or whatever it happens to be, once you hit that number - YOU STOP for the day! Move on to water, herbal tea, black coffee, etc....and wait until the next day to eat.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

I would suggest you break up your weight loss goals into smaller targets. Say, your first goal is to go from your current 220 down to 200. If you set a goal of losing a pound a week (which is a very realistic goal), then it is going to take you 20 weeks come hell or high water. Once you are there in August/September, adjust your goal to the next target - be it 180, 175, 160 - whatever. One pound at a time. One week at a time. One day at a time. It doesn't happen overnight, but to do it right you need time, patience, and easily executed calorie counting and eating to run enough of a deficit to cut a pound per week.

It's really pretty simple. And that's the brutally honest answer that you might need to hear. It's so simple - any fool ought to be able to execute it. Plug in your data, and count the calories in vs. the calories out. Run a slight deficit, and watch the pounds melt off over the next 60-80 weeks.

We'd all expect to see your success story posted up on the success thread after you shed your 60-80 pounds and kick the Type II Diabetes out of your life.

SIMPLE.

nxd10

Four things you need to hear:

You are worth taking care of and only you can do it.
You have kids to live for and if you keep this up you won't enjoy them - and maybe won't live to see them grow up and flourish.
Diet is what takes the weight off. Exercise makes you healthier and keeps it off. This isn't rocket science. You don't have that much to lose compared to other people.
You can do this.

gabbymom2

So reading your posts its almost like you are asking for responces that are very negative and mean to get you motivated. Do you think by us being hurtfull is going to help? I don't think that is the answer. You need to take all the people that have responded as friends because first of all we care enough to write. Then open your diary and expose yourself for all to see. Log everything and then ask for help.

booksgiver

You aready said it. Listen to yourself.