I feel like I'm on the verge of an Eating Disorder?

Hello Everyone,
I will try and keep this short. I am an 18 year old female, 1.82m which Is about 5'11ish and currently 138 Pounds (63 Kgs). I started last year in january at 110 kgs (242Pounds) so have since lost 47 kgs in total. It has been a journey as it is with weight loss, I have had my ups and downs but I just can't stop thinking to lose more. I am very thin now, I mean as thin as I've ever been. I went to the doctors the other day and he asked me what my weight was I told him and he said that is extremely low for my height and that I looked ''Unhealthy'', That was a change from ''You need to lose weight or you will get diabetes etc..

Anyway, That didn't seem to change my views I still have this idea in my mind I need to lose at least another 10 kilos to feel secure. If I eat out occasionally I will feel depressed afterwards. I mean my life is revolving around this matter. I'm actually depressed even though when i started I thought this would make me my happiest.

Is this normal Behaviour? Anyone? Will I get Over It?
Thank you for Reading.
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Replies

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I am curious why your doctor did not weigh you himself?

    Also have you taken any current photos you can compare to some photos when you were getting the "lose weight before you get diabetes" advice?

    It might help to see them side by side.
  • He didn't weigh me because It wasn't procedure. I was just there for the Flu.
  • scispence
    scispence Posts: 117 Member
    It does sound like a cause for concern to me. I'm no counsellor so I don't know how to advise, but consulting a professional would be good. Nip it in the bud before it becomes a big problem.
  • makemewannadie
    makemewannadie Posts: 401 Member
    138 isn't unhealthy for 5'11, so i'm surprised he said that! It is however a healthy weight for that height. Have a look at http://www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org/EatingDisorders.htm and http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Eating-disorders/Pages/Introduction.aspx and if you have genuine concerns about your behaviour, go back to your doctor and say that you are unhappy with these negative thoughts and that you would like some help and support. Getting these behaviours and thoughts early are the best way to prevent a 'fully blown' eating disorder and save you from many years of an awful existence, simply put.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    I would agree with your doctor, that's very thin for your height. It wouldn't surprise me if you were looking a little gaunt. I do not feel that you should need to lose more weight at that height at all.

    What is your goal? why do you feel you need to lose? are you looking for a specific shape? Do you do any strength training - it is the only thing that will give you the abs and flat tummy (if that's your goal)?

    If the goal has become all about the number on the scale then you may be on the road to some disordered eating habits and you may want to consider discussing your feelings with a professional in that field.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
    Gain weight, whether you want to or not. If you already look unhealthy, and your current situation makes you depressed, then common sense, love for yourself, and love for those that care about you its obvious - get to a healthy weight for your height suggested by your DOCTOR.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    nevermind.
  • fificrazy
    fificrazy Posts: 234
    The depression, anxious or guilty thoughts about eating, refusing to maintain your weight (a healthy one, or at all) and a desire to lose even though you're underweight... yes, these are all signs of an ED

    BUT a lot of these problems exist BECAUSE you're underweight! The brain chemistry changes in both starved and anorexic nervosa patients, that's why it's important that no matter how long or short term you've suffered the disease that you're put on an eating plan to repair the damages in the body organs and brain.

    What you need to do at this point is discuss these thoughts you have with a doctor, and he may be able to refer you to an ED clinic nearby. From there, it's up to the doctor based on your labs results to set you up with a dietitian and a therapist. Don't look to the MFP boards for diet advice for recovery.
  • Research shows that eating at an extreme deficit for a long while can bring about the symptoms of an eating disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment

    I reckon your unhealthiness can be dealt with by taking a break from dieting for a while, to remove the stress of a calorie deficit and give your body time to recover. Don't gain weight, just set a new goal of your current weight using MyFitnessPal and eat at your maintenance for a while. Then, when you're feeling and looking better, go back to dieting!
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    If you're looking extremely thin, people will be concerned about you. Do you lift? Do you have strong arms and legs?

    I'm almost the same height as you and my goal is 75kg, but not too concerned about the number if I have some muscle definition in my arms and legs. 63kg does seem low for your height, but it IS within the healthy weight range (goes down to about 57kg on the low end??). Have a look online for some images of bodies that look like the one you want... and then step back and see how they're composed. Then take those images to some friends and family, and ask if they think they're healthy looking bodies. You may be able to gauge your perception and thoughts on a healthy body from their reaction, without the focus being on YOUR body.

    If you need (or want) to change your perception on what your body needs to look like, then that's a process you need to go through with your doctor and other healthcare professionals.

    Remember it's not only the number on the scale that defines your ideal body, and that number on the scale CAN NEVER define who you are as a person.
  • Michelle_Padgett13
    Michelle_Padgett13 Posts: 417 Member
    I'm confused. A few days ago, you posted in another thread that you have 90 pounds to lose. How much do you weigh?
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
    The depression, anxious or guilty thoughts about eating, refusing to maintain your weight (a healthy one, or at all) and a desire to lose even though you're underweight... yes, these are all signs of an ED

    BUT a lot of these problems exist BECAUSE you're underweight! The brain chemistry changes in both starved and anorexic nervosa patients, that's why it's important that no matter how long or short term you've suffered the disease that you're put on an eating plan to repair the damages in the body organs and brain.

    What you need to do at this point is discuss these thoughts you have with a doctor, and he may be able to refer you to an ED clinic nearby. From there, it's up to the doctor based on your labs results to set you up with a dietitian and a therapist. Don't look to the MFP boards for diet advice for recovery.

    Agreed
  • makemewannadie
    makemewannadie Posts: 401 Member
    I'm confused. A few days ago, you posted in another thread that you have 90 pounds to lose. How much do you weigh?

    Yeaaah... just looked at their topic history because of what you said and saw they posted on the 9th of april 2014:

    "I am 6ft Female with an overall goal of losing 110 pounds. i have since January lost 25 Pounds so Have about 89 Pounds to lose ( 40 Kilos). I have done this by working out 5 days a week (gym), 40 to 1 hour and a half of cardio, and have been doing a yoga/pilates mix about 3-4 times a week, so have been consistently losing 2 pounds per week."

    I forgot there was a reason I dislike venturing into mfp's message boards ahaha ha. OP, eating disorders are not for attention or fun or a joke. Shame on you.
  • scuttlez
    scuttlez Posts: 51
    Your topic history makes no sense. You have different weights, ages, heights..... I think your first step should be to get honest here. You are all over the place.

    What you're doing is also not cool. Some people have honestly struggled with an actual story of what you're explaining above. When I began losing weight, it became an obsession of me abusing diet pills and starving myself. It took me a lot of counseling and sobriety to right that wrong.
  • scuttlez
    scuttlez Posts: 51
    Someone call Nev. Catfish!
  • makemewannadie
    makemewannadie Posts: 401 Member
    Someone call Nev. Catfish!

    I volunteer! Nev is a babe.
  • scuttlez
    scuttlez Posts: 51
    Someone call Nev. Catfish!

    I volunteer! Nev is a babe.

    I know it, girl. I'd cuddle the **** out of his sensitive *kitten*.
  • fificrazy
    fificrazy Posts: 234
    I'm confused. A few days ago, you posted in another thread that you have 90 pounds to lose. How much do you weigh?

    It's possible- if she has an ED- that she has body dysmorphia (therefore, jacked up both her current weight and goal to lose) or just over-exaggerated for the sake of getting better replies (stating she was underweight and looking to lose more wouldn't have gotten her the kind of replies she was looking for...)? Or she's a troll. Who knows.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    this thread go so weird.
  • makemewannadie
    makemewannadie Posts: 401 Member
    I'm confused. A few days ago, you posted in another thread that you have 90 pounds to lose. How much do you weigh?

    It's possible- if she has an ED- that she has body dysmorphia (therefore, jacked up both her current weight and goal to lose) or just over-exaggerated for the sake of getting better replies (stating she was underweight and looking to lose more wouldn't have gotten her the kind of replies she was looking for...)? Or she's a troll. Who knows.

    Body dysmorphia doesn't equal a liar though... I vote troll, or attention seeker, or both.