Husband's ridiculous excuse for no activity (rant)

2

Replies

  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    I had the most ridiculous conversation with my husband last night in regards to exercise/fitness. He is "interested" in starting a routine at the gym, but is making a ridiculous excuse to NOT get started.

    A little backstory: We work opposite schedules- he works M-F 8-5 and I work 12 hour nights 7p-7a various nights per week. My schedule right now mainly consists of working one week 6 out of 7 days then having a week off. I make time in this for exercise, but during my work weeks, I go to the gym 3 times per week, on my off weeks 5-6 times per week. In other words, it's not all that consistent, but I go when I can and try make sure I do my lifting consistently. He wants to go to the gym with me after he gets off work but we have a special needs child who cannot be left unattended. My solution was for him to go by himself....get ready for this....

    He says that unless he has a strict schedule, like say, every MWF there's no point and that unless it's consistent like that, there's no benefits. He actually said "ask any fitness expert, if you do that it's like going backward." I wanted to laugh in his face but didn't- I just shut up because there is no way to respond to something so ignorant.

    BTW, his plan does not involve weights, just, in his words, "power walking".

    So by his logic, fitting it in when you can has as many benefits as not doing it at all.

    I was seriously at a loss for words....REALLY?!?!?

    Thoughts on my rant? Would this annoy the heck out of anyone else, or am I crazy?

    Sounds like you need to start withholding sex until he gets his butt in the gym.
    I look forward to seeing how that works out for her.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    I would ACTUALLY ask a fitness expert, or find a peer-reviewed medical journal entry (something he can't dispute) proving that his idea is full of crap.

    But be prepared for it to not do any good, as it sounds like just a weak-sauce cop out to not go exercise.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    I would ACTUALLY ask a fitness expert, or find a peer-reviewed medical journal entry (something he can't dispute) proving that his idea is full of crap.

    But be prepared for it to not do any good, as it sounds like just a weak-sauce cop out to not go exercise.

    Whenever a spouse presents an emotion-based position, it's best to counter with hard facts. That way you win!
  • sunnyhlw77
    sunnyhlw77 Posts: 204 Member
    I thought my husband's excuse (treadmills are boring cause the scenery doesn't change, but he won't watch TV while doing it and walking outside gets repetitive - I'm like WTF do you want?). I chalk my husband's not exercising to just plain laziness!
  • alathIN
    alathIN Posts: 142 Member
    Don't try to be your spouse's coach.

    He does kind of semi- have a point; consistency is the key to fitness gains. But to say "I can't have consistency, therefore I'm not going to exercise," is an obvious cop-out.

    So, yes, you are correct. However there is no winning if you try to argue your spouse into exercising.
    Run your own program; let him run his.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
    "He WANTS to go to the gym with me after he gets off work"

    (you said he can't) - Now he's making excuses to not go.

    Sounds like he just wanted to spend some time just the two of you doing something he knows you enjoy. I get the difficulties with childcare honestly. But do you have family or friends who could sit one night a week so you could go together? I don't think the 'consistancy' is the issue here OP.
  • alathIN
    alathIN Posts: 142 Member
    I would ACTUALLY ask a fitness expert, or find a peer-reviewed medical journal entry (something he can't dispute) proving that his idea is full of crap.

    But be prepared for it to not do any good, as it sounds like just a weak-sauce cop out to not go exercise.

    Whenever a spouse presents an emotion-based position, it's best to counter with hard facts. That way you win!

    Is this meant to be snark?
    Because although you may "win" the argument by being right on the fact, you are very unlikely to "win" your spouse's wholehearted participation this way.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
    BTW, his plan does not involve weights, just, in his words, "power walking".

    I see no problem with starting out with walking. I started out with walking and gradually built from there. Now I'm training for a sprint triathlon.

    Walking is better than nothing.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Don't try to be your spouse's coach.

    He does kind of semi- have a point; consistency is the key to fitness gains. But to say "I can't have consistency, therefore I'm not going to exercise," is an obvious cop-out.

    So, yes, you are correct. However there is no winning if you try to argue your spouse into exercising.
    Run your own program; let him run his.

    Consistency doesn't mean "Monday from 1:45 - 2:45"

    Consistency means "following a progressive lifting program 4 times a week for 6 years"
  • alathIN
    alathIN Posts: 142 Member
    Don't try to be your spouse's coach.

    He does kind of semi- have a point; consistency is the key to fitness gains. But to say "I can't have consistency, therefore I'm not going to exercise," is an obvious cop-out.

    So, yes, you are correct. However there is no winning if you try to argue your spouse into exercising.
    Run your own program; let him run his.

    Consistency doesn't mean "Monday from 1:45 - 2:45"

    Consistency means "following a progressive lifting program 4 times a week for 6 years"

    Yes, you're right. But I doubt many spouses have got their other halves to participate in a 6 year fitness program, by defeating them in an argument.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Sweep the leg!

    :laugh:

    Finish him!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    As much as I wish that my boyfriend would get some exercise, and as much as I worry about him at age 60, his adult life is his business. When I am at his house, I move the clothes off his treadmill and use it. I say nothing.
  • bacamacho
    bacamacho Posts: 306 Member
    He's just not ready. When he is I'm sure you'll be his best supporter. :)
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Don't try to be your spouse's coach.

    He does kind of semi- have a point; consistency is the key to fitness gains. But to say "I can't have consistency, therefore I'm not going to exercise," is an obvious cop-out.

    So, yes, you are correct. However there is no winning if you try to argue your spouse into exercising.
    Run your own program; let him run his.

    Consistency doesn't mean "Monday from 1:45 - 2:45"

    Consistency means "following a progressive lifting program 4 times a week for 6 years"

    Yes, you're right. But I doubt many spouses have got their other halves to participate in a 6 year fitness program, by defeating them in an argument.

    I think that zero spouses have gotten their other halves to participate in a fitness program.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    What does MWF mean?
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    Uh, I'm guessing it means Monday, Wednesday, Friday.:ohwell:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    What does MWF mean?

    men withholding foreplay
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    Sounds like he has no interest in the gym!;)

    Power walking, really? I assume he's a healthy youngish guy? wow.

    Have you ever power walked? My guess is no because it is really, really hard and great exercise.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Don't try to be your spouse's coach.

    He does kind of semi- have a point; consistency is the key to fitness gains. But to say "I can't have consistency, therefore I'm not going to exercise," is an obvious cop-out.

    So, yes, you are correct. However there is no winning if you try to argue your spouse into exercising.
    Run your own program; let him run his.

    Consistency doesn't mean "Monday from 1:45 - 2:45"

    Consistency means "following a progressive lifting program 4 times a week for 6 years"

    Yes, you're right. But I doubt many spouses have got their other halves to participate in a 6 year fitness program, by defeating them in an argument.

    I think that zero spouses have gotten their other halves to participate in a fitness program.

    well apparently I nagged mine just enough (read shamed) him just enough to get him into doing SOMETHING on his own time- I would say he barely works out- buuuuuuut - about once or twice a week he goes- "I'm going running". So not a fitness program- but enough to get him off his *kitten*. Grantd I don't live with him- so I poked the bear with a stick and let him lumber along at his own pace in his own time.

    LOL_ but I was trying to "encourage" (he thought I was nagging) and at some point after I gave up but occasionally poked him in the stomach... he now does stuff.

    it's lame- and it sucks and it's not a program- but it's something- whatever- he isn't obese so that's all I care about.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Yep, just excuses because he really has no interest in it. Sometimes nagging helps, sometimes it makes it worse. Your mileage may vary.
  • willia123
    willia123 Posts: 60 Member
    maybe he's depressed because his wife comes on here and talks crap about it. Get a clue.
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member

    Power walking, really? I assume he's a healthy youngish guy? wow.

    LOL He's 46!!!!

    OUCH! For what it's worth, 46 is youngish.
  • ImaWaterBender
    ImaWaterBender Posts: 516 Member
    I would just leave him alone and let him get his own motivation when he's ready. Otherwise you're mothering him.
  • allana1111
    allana1111 Posts: 390 Member
    talking about your husband in this light is not flattering... I like to keep mine and my fiancé's debates to ourselves out of respect for him
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    He told you that he was interested to get you off his back. He's not really interested.

    this... leave him to it, you do you!
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
    So? Does how he feels about exercise really impact you?


    I'm not really seeing the point about complaining about someone else's actions that don't really effect you.

    When he wants to do it, he will.

    You have to decide if that is unacceptable behavior or not.

    I don't see what the problem is either! A lot of people like to have somewhat of a schedule. Maybe encourage him to try a few days out of the week for him to see the right schedule for him! Poor guy! Everyone has different priorities. Maybe at once he was interested maybe he's not no more. Just support him and let him go when he IS ready!
  • Platform_Heels
    Platform_Heels Posts: 388 Member
    Maybe he doesn't want to go to the gym. Or maybe he doesn't like to workout alone. Believe it or not, not everyone likes to exercise. Not everyone likes to go to the gym. Not everyone likes to workout alone. I love going to the gym. I really and truly do.

    So perhaps you should just lighten up and leave him alone. If he doesn't want to exercise then that's his choice.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I would ACTUALLY ask a fitness expert, or find a peer-reviewed medical journal entry (something he can't dispute) proving that his idea is full of crap.

    But be prepared for it to not do any good, as it sounds like just a weak-sauce cop out to not go exercise.

    Whenever a spouse presents an emotion-based position, it's best to counter with hard facts. That way you win!

    Is this meant to be snark?
    Because although you may "win" the argument by being right on the fact, you are very unlikely to "win" your spouse's wholehearted participation this way.

    That depends on the spouse. My husband has several medical conditions, and sometimes I have to counter his whining with facts. Wholehearted or not, sometimes people need to hear the facts from their best friend because no one else is going to tell them.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    That depends on the spouse. My husband has several medical conditions, and sometimes I have to counter his whining with facts. Wholehearted or not, sometimes people need to hear the facts from their best friend because no one else is going to tell them.

    indeed.

    sometimes you have to be the one to speak up and say "that's not how this works"

    or that's a "really bad idea and I think you should REALLY think ahead before committing to a decision"

    being a truly good friend means sometimes you have to say the unpopular thing.
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
    Mine complains about being fat and out of shape. My response is, "And who is in control of that? It's not me. If I don't give you what you want to eat you whine about it." Usually he just shuts up. He's in control of what he does. I am not going to try to force him to do anything he's not ready to do.

Categories