How can i succeed with my depressing life ?

MrsRatfire

I have done this myself- comfort or stress eating. It has been a life time battle for me. 19 days ago, I started tracking everything I eat. Higher, lower, level, right or wrong. I have gradually, reduced my intake. I fall off the wagon now and then, I enter it all. I refuse to punish myself, I refuse to b miserable over a food choice. Lesson #1 You are tracking and logging- no more no less. Lesson 2# You are not on a diet, you are tracking and logging, that is it. Lesson #3: There is NO wrong! You are building a habit- therefore the entry is not relevant.

You have been starting your diet tomorrow for many years, than this time is needed. I have, at times, actually succeeded and lost weight. Most of it, over and over, gained back. Some not.

So, after all these years of starting the diet tomorrow, and hating myself when I fell off- what difference does it make if it takes me a full 30 days to get the diet where I really want it? It doesn't. There are 11 more months left in the year.

Every week, each Sunday, I was able to lower my intake in general for the week. I do not mean adjusting my settings, I mean I just started lowering my intake of food. I am becoming less and less obsessed with it. I have been doing this for 19 days now. I have fallen off….I entered the food. Those days became fewer, the mistakes less and less, the better choices, more and more. I am eating less calories this week than the any day in the 3 weeks prior. But, I am only on day 19. I ONLY lower the calorie intake if I consistently come UNDER that amount- then I work on that, getting that under. And not everyday- I am human, some days, I will break and eat something that really jacks it up, or too much volume- much more than I really want or need. I log every crumb as I do not care how much I am over - the point in week one is JUST TO LOG.

After all these years, I can take at least 30 days to get myself on a weight loss program….a life program. After all these years, why do we think we can wake up tomorrow, and cut it all away? If people could do that, the world would not have an obesity epidemic. I am under goal so far today, yesterday, about 300 over. SO WHAT. I had days that were far worse in week one and two.

Build the habit. As of now. No starting your diet tomorrow. Start logging, everything. No anxiety. See the magic that will come when you feel in control, your habits improve with hardly trying. On my current calorie level, I would lose a pound or 1.5 a week. My current goal is to come in on this schedule each week. If I don't, I am leaving it there, forever if need be. Start by setting your goal to lose .5 pounds a week, and see how often in 7 days, you can hit it. It you see some consistency hitting it, move the calorie count down. Repeat as needed.

When you find your self criticizing YOU- tell yourself to STOP. Addictive eaters seem to all have that in common. They take it out on themselves. You deserve a MONTH to start a lifetime diet. Believe me, this time will fly by and soon you will be on a reduced intake with NO SUFFERING.

MrsRatfire

the turtle chasing the cat is hysterical!

lemurcat12

You know you are an emotional eater (so am I). If you don't want to fall back on food next time something happens and you feel sad or stressed or angry or worthless, etc., maybe plan some things that you will do to deal with the bad feelings. Have it in your mind that when you are upset or feeling bad, before even considering food, that you will go meditate or go for a walk or listen to music (or walk while listening to music) or journal or take a kickboxing class or get your nails done, etc. Part of it is trying to stop using food as comfort, but another part is finding other ways to comfort yourself.

Megabot

You have to take control of it. Part of that is owning it. Is it your life, or someone elses?
It's yours.

It sounds hard, but you got to tell yourself you're worth it, and no one is gonna take it from you without a fight. I had a lot of problems growing up in a depressed household, with depression, with other people that had depression (we're talking should've been medicated, really) and it was excruciating.

At the recommendation of a friend, at the beginning of summer after college, I posted a sign on *my ceiling* that said "You are a mother****ing badass." I wished I could be a badass. So I saw it every day when I woke up, and usually I didn't believe it. So it made me laugh OUT LOUD at how absurd it was. Then I'd get up, because I felt good. It was so great. I also listened to a lot of punk rock which got out a lot of underlying anger for me. I ended up moving out of the house that fall, I ended up feeling great, and I got a job in a field I love.

I still struggle with depression, but I work at it. It's hard, but you can do it.

WriterPatrick

Emotional eating is what kneecaps most of us.

Something I found helped me was to think of how much *better* I'd handle life's problems as a leaner, sharper individual. That doesn't mean having to be at your goal weight - it can just be the satisfaction of controlling your diet each day.

Here's the thing about any weight loss journey: you have to be prepared for those first two or three weeks. Whether its arguments or a need to feel good or to lessen anxiety or whatever it is, you will be seriously tempted. Abandoning a junk food-heavy diet is going to bring about withdrawal symptoms, just as stopping smoking would. So if you can brace yourself for that pain and temptation, then it becomes easier to endure it. You made it through four days this time - resolve to make it through 21 days next time, regardless of whatever negativity is thrown your way in your life.

suzzanemfp

I will try my best to put all advices into action
But its hard to not "beat myself up" after i woke up and ate an entire small jar of chocolate spread , imagine how crazy that is ?
Who'd ever eat an ENTIRE JAR OF CHOCOLATE SPREAD ?
I feel like the 4 days i did so good went down the drain ...
But this is it I will start NOW for me and my litlle ones that i love ...

desimia1

You have to take that anger, sadness, depression.........use that negative energy and work it off. I find that I workout even harder when I am upset and then when I'm done, I feel a lot better. The problem may still be around but I feel better! Things are going to happen everyday and you cant allow yourself to become vicitm to an ugly cycle. You can do this !!! Get after it !!!

smantha32

Britney is a spoiled idiot who's completely responsible for her own issues.
Most of us wouldn't be stressed out with her money and advantages.

MrsRatfire

I like this post. I have been doing well, but I will make a DECISION for a fall back plan if I find myself facing emotional eating. Thank you. It is a DECISION to eat, we would like to believe it is not, but it is. Maybe I will go outside and chase butterflies! That would turn a negative into a big positive!

laura97z

I think what's important to remember in EVERY situation is that you are valuable. And because of that, you deserve more than to treat yourself in a way that, in the end, just makes you feel guilty and worthless. You will slip up- it is inevitable. But after the fact, you need to remind yourself that you are loved, beautiful, and tomorrow is another day.

suzzanemfp

Thank you

DucklingtoSwan

I won't even go into everything that is going on with my life (this is about you, not me) but I do want to tell you something I'm learning over these last few weeks of trying to take better care of myself in the midst of all the chaos... in taking control of one of the few things I CAN control right now, i.e. the food I choose to put into my body, it is helping me to feel a little healthier mentally and emotionally, which in turn is helping me deal with everything else. Are the urges to eat when crap starts happening all around me still there? You bet they are. They may never go away. But the longer I'm doing this, the harder I'm able to fight back. I have my bad days, I have my moments (the other night I gorged on my number one comfort food, mac n cheese, probably ate about 1,000 calories in one sitting) but when they do happen I am much better at dusting myself off and getting back on track with the very next meal. (Not 'tomorrow' or "Monday" or whenever I used to say, so I had an excuse to continue stuffing myself until then) :grumble:

YOU CAN DO THIS. I won't lie; it will be very hard at first. And you will not be perfect. I was about losing my mind the first couple of weeks. But the longer I manage to go, even with the occasional derailments, the stronger I've been getting. Which is a good thing, because I've got a long way to go. Come post to these boards whenever you need to. Or just read them if you don't feel like posting. They have been a huge help to me, and I'm sure they can to you as well. :flowerforyou:

Kingacat

As a mental health nurse I have learnt that activity always helps with low mood. I would suggest you take every day as it comes and be kind to yourself. Celebrate the simple things in life and try to do activity every day even if it's a short walk.
Try and keep a journal of the good things of your day. Achievements that you have made. They can be anything from getting out of bed to walking in the sunshine. Best of luck :flowerforyou:

__freckles__

At the recommendation of a friend, at the beginning of summer after college, I posted a sign on *my ceiling* that said "You are a mother****ing badass." I wished I could be a badass. So I saw it every day when I woke up, and usually I didn't believe it. So it made me laugh OUT LOUD at how absurd it was. Then I'd get up, because I felt good. It was so great.

This is awesome. I think I'm going to start doing this. Because I am a mother****ing badass. :flowerforyou: