low moods, food addiction or obsessive running

onmyown70

I suffer with low mood and find any carbs, even oatcakes improve my mood. I have young children too and disrupted sleep doesn't help with my mood. I wake up feeling low and start eating straight away. I'm greedy and have no stop button.

Bizarrely, the only three things that have ever stopped me eating were a, a sick bug ( I must have been the only person on the earth to have felt slightly happy to have been ill!) and b, high dose antidepressants (but these had side effects) and c, running, getting completely obsessed with exercise. the latter, everyone else would get worried about me as I would ensure I got to the gym as soon as I woke up. My moods/energy would dip during the day and these are the times I would/do compulsively eat. in the evenings my moods pick up and I only crave healthy foods.

A few times I have just wanted to keep eating so I kept going until my stomach hired (I'm being very honest here, I'm ashamed) and I am just fed up of thinking about food all the time. I am not dieting (in fact, another one to add to the list of things that have helped, when I have been dieting, when younger (and more motivated to look and feel good) my relationship with food got healthier as I became more mindful and disciplined, being more restricted helped me but I lack that motivation any more. My husband thinks it's crazy I can eat a whole loaf of bread in a day these days!).

The last thing I have tried is running, I love it. yet when I did it,I lost weight and looked more haggard and then people said I looked worst and would age more running so much, my knees got a bit painful so I stopped, but since then my moods have plummeted again. Walking doesn't improve my mood or appetite like running did.

I am not asking to be super skinny, I have no desire to be a super model I just wish I could curb the desire to eat all day, which makes me feel tired and sick. i am the definition of stupidity, I eat a bar of chocolate and drink copious coffee as soon as I wake up and then feel ill yet continue to eat.

I don't know wether to bite the bullet and get up early and exercise (before the children wake), I know it's crazy but I even start the day bingeing these days. I still ensure I make sure I do stuff with the kids but inside I feel like a complete submissive failure. I tried to have a balance exercising some days, but I found that if I stopped doing it as soon as I woke up, I was completely demotivated during the day.

On a side note, before anyone judges too much, I do think some people have an "appetite" gene, or certainly low moods that increase the appetite. It's not even "bad stuff" I binge on (although I would given half the chance" it's cereal, bread, crackers (if there was cake I would eat that too, but I think that's what my GP and hubby find crazy, I can just keep going with food, it's always carbs interestingly and I go past feeling full).


I appreciate I sound ridiculous but any advice?

Thank you :-)

zoeysasha37

I'm sorry your feeling down. I honestly have no idea how to answer your question, but I can relate to it . When I had my Son, I was very depressed. I felt awful, and would eat and eat and eat. I hated the way I looked, but I still continued to eat. Finally one day I was just totally sick of it, and I truly wanted to lose the weight. So I began to watch what I ate and count calories. 135 lbs now and I'm so happy that i made the changes necessary. I'm really happy with myself now and am eager to move forward on my journey. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a way to resolve this :-)

onmyown70

Hi,
Thank you for your message. It's great you saw the light as it were! I wonder what it was that motivated you that one day?

I do the same thing every morning, and ruin each day... oddly I can be crying when bingeing! Crazy.

I wish you continued success, and it was so kind of you to post x

dawnmcneil10

Have you considered joining an Overeaters Anonymus group? I have a friend who is going through that process and is finding it helpful in so many ways and your story sounds very similar. I don't think you should give up running if it makes you happy, I completey get that I'm new to jogging/running and I find it very therapudic, clears the mind and gives me a boost. I also understand what people were saying when they were telling you that you didn't look well and that you were aging your body this is why balance is important and throughout a weight loss journey there is a time when body and skin are not in line and you look less than wonderful.

Here are a few steps I would take if I were in your shoes:
Step 1 - Get up and move in the morning before the kids rise use this as mommy time.
Step 2 - Have a fruit smoothie when you get back from your run, (example) frozen mixed berries a banana and greek yogurt.
Step 3 - Eliminate buying those go to items that get you started on the wrong track.

Now for the obsession concern over running, put a time limit on your "mommy time". If you block out 1 hour each morning that gives you a 30-45 minute run, time to shower/dress and make a smoothie. Make this your rule, you must get it all done in that amount of time, no skipping the shower or the healthy breakfast to go just 1 more mile. I think if you stick something like this you'll find your body will thank you.

onmyown70

This is a great reply (as was the other) such helpful advice. It probably seems very logical to someone who doesn't know me, but I'm going to do this tomorrow (even if I don't get much sleep wight he little ones!). Thank you I will keep you posted.

onmyown70

PS I considered OA - and wondered when I would get the time to go to one, and I feel a little ashamed

rieann84

Even if you don't have time to go to an OA meeting, there has to be support via the internet. Search for it!

Have you considered using free weights? I was never in love with cardio. Strength training is something I am really into at the moment. I like the way it makes me feel.

You gotta reach for more satisfying food. I am right there with you when I say that I could eat a whole candy bar, have a meal and then still want desert afterward. Find the foods that keep you full & happy! (That aren't laden with unnecessary sugars, fats, etc)

You're on this website so you're already on the right path.

WendyTerry420

You should seek counseling if you are depressed.

onmyown70

So I did it, I went for a jog for 30 minutes, although I was almost screaming and kicking to get myself out there as I kept thinking I just want coffee and chocolate and "what's the point, I'll probably feel awful later anyway" kept appearing in my mind. I just did half an hour which was enough as I haven't jogged for so long I was tired after 5 mites so had to keep stopping. I do feel better, the biggest thing is it has stopped my hunger, that insatiable I want to eat chocolate and carbs and not stop feeling.

Thank you for your support

onmyown70

Hi Wendy, Yes I think I should seek counselling, but I can't afford it. I'm my own worst enemy I should read books, help myself, but I have tried and find I can't concentrate any more. I do appreciate I sound very dismissive and defeatist!