'You'll look ill!"

bcattoes

I think sometimes the mind just associates weight loss with illness, because illness often does cause weight loss. Once you've been at goal for a while this will probably stop.

And, then again, some people really do like chubbier people.

rebalee8

I try to be kind when people I know love me say stuff to me like this - especially when it's people who don't constantly remind me of my size (like police my plate or comment on how "flattering/unflattering" my fashion choices are).

I figure, they loved and accepted me as a "normal" person (as opposed to their "really fat friend") the way I was, and it's hard for them to get out of that mindset. So seeing me smaller feels "wrong" to them and makes them worry.

They'll get used to it eventually, especially with a little reassurance from me that "I feel great - better than I have in years".

lottewiegeraad

Your goals are perfectly fine.

I've gotten a few comments like this, too. Especially now that I am fast approaching a normal size. One from a friend who is very thin and always has been - tbh I think she is afraid I'll end up as thin as her as that's always been the advantage she's had over me. That's her own insecurity, not mine. Another from someone who has always struggled with their weight and is currently obese. I assume that one also stems from insecurities.

It used to upset me but now I take no notice. Nobody EVER told me I was getting too fat when I was heading for obese!! It's only now that I'm being successful and getting fit and healthy that people feel the need to tell me stop. I'm not doing this for anybody but myself, so I try to brush the comments off.

Amen!!!

fireytiger

I often have well meaning family and friends who tell me that I look fine, and I don't need to lose weight, even though i'm obese. Most of my family is also obese, diabetic, and unhealthy, so as far as I'm concerned, what do they know about my health? My husband often tells me that while he agrees I need to lose weight, he doesn't want me shooting for my goal of 170 (which is actually still considered barely overweight), because he doesn't think it's realistic. I'm doing it anyway. :P

FJcntdwn2sknyluv

Yup!! got "personally you look too thin to me." ... this weekend, from a friend who is struggling with a morbidly obese 13 year old daughter, who she has to lock food up from!.. This is the second time she has told me something stupid, last summer it was 'Your looking gaunt'.. which as you can see from my profile pic I'm not an have never been....
I was one of the fatter people in the group and now i'm one of the thinner ones, I've lost when everyone has gained over the years.. it's just jealousy!

You keep on with your bad self and being fit and ignore her!

Katleskin

Thanks for all the perspectives everyone. I do agree that her comments (and other similar ones) don't automatically equate with jealousy and, having seen her sister suffer with an ED, I can totally understand why she might be concerned for someone else she cares about. Though, if she was primarily bothered about the 'health' aspect of my weight loss I would have expected her to ask pertinent questions rather than just flip out over my proposed target. To be honest, I think it is probably a bit of both envy and concern, but I'm trusting it comes from a good place because she's a good person.

If and when conversation comes round to the topic of my weight loss again I will take pains to reassure her how sensible I am being, how the weight loss is coming steadily, through healthy eating and moderate exercise, that I want to be 'fit' not 'thin' and that I'll still be the same person at 147lbs as I was at 200lbs+. If she still persists in telling me I'm on the wrong track I will just tell her we're going to have to agree to disagree and leave it at that. She's otherwise a fabulous friend so I'm hoping she just needs a bit of time to get used to the 'new me' and that once she sees I'm perfectly healthy she'll quit worrying. I'd prefer it if she didn't think I looked 'ill' though but I'm definitely not doing this to please other people so tough.

I'm glad my target seems sensible to you guys, if anything I thought I was erring on the side of not losing enough but, as I say, it's a soft target.

leggup

I'm 5'11 and my goal is 149, so you're perfectly healthy aiming for 147.

It sounds like your friend is insecure, not vindictively trying to keep you as her 'fat friend.' You can't make her see that 147 is a healthy goal. I know it hurts to be told you're being unhealthy when you're being as healthy as possible (losing weight the right way). They say that misery loves company.

IIIIISerenityNowIIIII

I think a lot of those comments come from having a skewed sense of health. Since so many people are overweight, our idea of a normal body tends to actually be a slightly overweight body. That's why when we see thinner people who have a healthy bmi, so many people comment that the person looks starved.