Obsessive mindset.... i need advice

Bearface115

I have been battling my weight issues for years. I am 29 years old and i am 200 pounds. i need advice on how to take control of my mindset. Let me BRIEFLY explain my Yo-yo mindset. ever since i was a teen i had always hated my weight.... even if i was at the acceptable weight for my height and such. if anything i was about 20-30 pounds more than i wanted to be at. So here is the problem currently.
I am at a point right now in my life where i have been trying for kids and trying to lose weight at the same time.... i want them both equally and i feel trapped. The problem with the weight is i have tried and failed for YEARS. failed so much my body packed on the pounds and i always start over higher than my first original starting weight.... im sick and tired of it. i obsesss over the before and after pictures, then i get myself depressed about my own weight and for me depression leads to emotional eating. point being i try, lose a little bit of weight, then find myself right back at the beginning again.
Now with trying to get pregnant, i have the same obsessive mindset. i want it so badly that its screwing with my mindset with eating well. i was successful with a pregnancy recently, and i then found out i had a Blighted Ovum (miscarriage with no formed fetus) that supersized my depression, but im still trying every month to concieve.

So my plea to anyone is how to i change my OBSESSIVE mindset and change it for the better with eating, and NOT obsessing too much over the trying to concieve two week wait..... i need kind advice please

rainbowxelephant

The first, most important thing that I'm going to advise you to do is to consult with a psychologist.

Honestly, the odds are that your eating and weight issues are emotional, and the only real way to get to the bottom of it is going to be with the help of a professional. You are self sabotaging, and there's probably a reason. A psychologist or therapist is going to be able to help you in ways that the MFP community likely cannot.

I've had issues myself with disordered eating habits for years, it is a vicious and exhausting cycle. When it comes to mental health though, professional help is best.

The only other advice I have is to switch your goal from weight loss to being the healthiest you you can be. Aka, stop weighing, and start being more active, eating healthful foods as consistently as possible, and being kind to yourself.

Just would like to add that I'm sorry for your lost pregnancy, I've been there and it's a deep kind of pain.

BrownEyedSister

Dear Bear,

I agree that checking in with a professional might be a good idea. Sometimes talking with a neutral party can be beneficial.

In the mean time you might look at some self-help techniques that can help quiet your busy mind. Perhaps meditation and deep breathing would help. You might consider using some energy practices that have helped me, mainly Zpoint and EFT. Just do an internet search.

Best of luck!