How do I respond to my husband?

2

Replies

  • Gearjammer71
    Gearjammer71 Posts: 151 Member
    Ignore that crap and keep your eye on your goal. He's just providing you a soft place to land in case you don't meet your goal... He'll be perfectly happy if you do.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.
    I agree. Any other response probably takes the conversation in a direction that it's best not to go.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
    And about "losing curves", since you're a heavy lifter... Squat, Deadlift - You will have a great butt when you reach your goal. He needn't worry. :bigsmile:

    QFT. Add glute bridges and hip thrusts into your routine if you haven't already. They are magical.
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    Just say ok honey and do what you want.
  • ChaplainHeavin
    ChaplainHeavin Posts: 426 Member
    Let me start by saying that my husband is VERY supportive.

    What do I say to him that will keep him from sabotaging my weight loss?

    He cannot be VERY supportive and sabotaging all at the same time. Just by reading your post I would think he is very supportive BUT, men, especially husbands, say dumb and insensitive things. Just ask my wife or two grown up daughters or anyone who knows me. Regarding what you say to him, just be honest, tell him what your goal is and tell him how you feel about his statement. If he's as supportive as you said he is, it seems he would be willing to listen. Hope it goes well.
  • Shan_Lindsay
    Shan_Lindsay Posts: 60 Member
    Exactly what did he say that made you think "sabotage?"

    It sounds like to me that the man simply gave you a compliment. Let's not go over-analyzing things.

    This. As women, we tend to over-analyze. I think your husband was giving you a compliment and not trying to sabotage you.

    I like the posters who say to just agree with him for now, and reasses your goal as you get closer. When I was at my lowest weight that I've been, I felt great about myself but it was about 5 lbs more than what my original goal weight was. All of our bodies look different at different weights, so you may be surprised as to when you feel good about yourself.

    Keep kickin' *kitten* and come back to this when it's time.
  • mclgo
    mclgo Posts: 147 Member
    Give him a big fat smooch and tell him "I love you too babe!"
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Tell him you'll see how it goes along the way.

    Pretty much.
  • 120by30
    120by30 Posts: 217 Member
    Exactly what did he say that made you think "sabotage?"

    It sounds like to me that the man simply gave you a compliment. Let's not go over-analyzing things.

    Exactly! I think it's kinda sweet when my husband pouts because my boobs are shrinking. Or when he tells me that he loves every inch of me and wouldn't care if I didn't lose any more weight. I don't read sabotage in this. I read a husband speaking his preference to his wife. No harm in that! Just stop weighing yourself and go by how you feel and fit in your clothes. Or don't tell him how much you weigh. Or just do what you want anyway. Just please don't go on an internet forum and imply that your husband is going to sabotage your weight-loss efforts. He sounds like a great husband!
  • Sassymama66_75HARD
    Sassymama66_75HARD Posts: 91 Member
    We all have a type that we like. Obviously your husband likes curvier women. If you are going for fit and not skinny there are exercises that you can do to help with the curves once you are at your goal weight. He sounds like a keeper!

    I like my husbands barrel chest and it would bother me if he got to thin. We are doing our weight loss by body fat/lean measurements that we have done at our gym.

    Congrats on your great loss so far!
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.

    Solid advice right there!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Nod, smile, and go about your business. No sense in worrying about something that may not even happen.
  • janeishavingtrouble
    janeishavingtrouble Posts: 10 Member
    Better than someone that give passive aggressive insults. Embrace his love and do what you want! ;-)
  • janeishavingtrouble
    janeishavingtrouble Posts: 10 Member
    This is how all good relationships survive. ;-)
  • rebbylicious
    rebbylicious Posts: 621 Member
    I have an idea- don't tell him how much you weigh from now on. Just do your thing - don't open the conversation or you will have to deal with his opinion. ;)
  • MrsG31
    MrsG31 Posts: 364 Member
    It sounds like you have already said everything you could on the subject. It he persists, or starts saying stuff like that again tell him you don't like repeating yourself and maybe he should take notes next time? (In the sweetest voice possible of course) :tongue:
  • iRun_Butterfly
    iRun_Butterfly Posts: 483 Member
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.

    ^This^
  • wfrazjr
    wfrazjr Posts: 43 Member
    Congrates on the previous lose and the trimming that you have planned. I will say to reassure him that the curves that loves seeing you with will be and that you are just fine tuning as you did before. Add squats into the workout and he will LOVE you even more. Tell him that he can walk a little bit behind you and continue to admire you when you are home and dream about you when you guysare at work. :)
  • HarrisonAR
    HarrisonAR Posts: 85 Member
    Just say "sure honey" and do what you want anyway.

    Exactly! If he is truly supportive, then he will watch this process and back you 100% he might just be unsure as to how you will look, but ultimately it is your body! Make it what you want :-)
  • MrsG31
    MrsG31 Posts: 364 Member
    I don't think his opinion is sabotage, just his thoughts. I actually think you responded well and it should be the end of it. It's your body and you ultimately need to be happy and healthy within it.

    Yeah, this.^^..she said it better than me!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    sounds like you guys are good at communicating- he's actually supportive but that doesn't mean he still doesn't have a preference.

    My bf says pretty much the same thing- but we joke about the fact he hates the sound of my voice and only tolerates it to be around my butt.

    But he realizes my goals are my goals and that's all there is to it. Said the same thing about my ink- my body my choice.
  • jennaworksout
    jennaworksout Posts: 1,739 Member
    lose weight and do squats, you'll have a booty
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I thought you reponded very well.

    My husband had a similar attitude. "don't lose your booty" 27 lbs and a lot of squats, lunges and bridges later, he had no complaints.
  • RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle
    RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle Posts: 1,349 Member
    The word sabotage is overused on mfp.

    I am a grown up, independent woman. I am also a person who is easily influenced by others and loves to over-eat.

    However, if my friends and family all went out of their way to try and make me eat more calories each day than I do, or undermined my efforts, ultimately, it would still be my choice what I choose eat and how I choose to move.
  • ColeCake292012
    ColeCake292012 Posts: 247 Member
    The guy thinks your curves are hot! At 5'3, 135 pounds before my baby, though, I'm sure you'll still have curves at 140. You won't be tiny or hungry looking! Plus, I think he'll get used to it. Its not like he'll think you're gross at a healthy weight...its not like you're aiming for some crazy low number. Its all good!
  • mcibty
    mcibty Posts: 1,252 Member
    Last time my dad saw me he told me 'enough now, don't lose any more; and I was like, dad, I have maintained my weight for the past 6 months, I haven't been trying to lose any, but thanks. My girlfriend went through a phase of saying the same thing, but stopped complaining when I started looking better!

    Long story short, people will say that, but it's your choice. You know your body and your goals. You might be like me, I wanted to get to 135-140, but I'm actually happy where I am at 147.

    Good luck!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    haha, sounds like my fiance. I told him I lost 2 inches in my breasts, and he playfully pitched a huge fit. He said he is done supporting me and that he is no longer my cheerleader. He said that if my huge butt starts losing inches, he quits lmao. We both know he's joking, but he is a little worried about losing his curvy woman. He's a really big guy, and he doesn't want a tiny little girl for a wife. I told him we'll deal with it when the time comes. I don't mind his input, I value his perceptions and opinions, but just like my latest tattoo and a piercings he hates, he always says "it's your body, and I will always love you"
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    Sabotage would be if he told you to gain weight and then took you out to Wendy's for dinner. .

    We guys who love our women want them to feel good about themselves. . I think he was trying to tell you that he applauded your efforts and that you don't have to be a fitness model for him to still want you and find you sexy. .

    That being said. . just keep your eyes on YOUR goals. . Find your motivation from within and don't let anything he may say (probably by accident) derail you. . He cares, but he isn't LIVING your journey so you can't expect him to think about it with the same intensity that you do..
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
    My husband has also commented to me things like this. I told we would see, that the "goal" I picked was just based off general numbers. Sometimes you feel done before you get there, sometimes you go further. After a fee weeks, he adjusted to the change and stopped talking about how "boney" I looked and commenting on how "curvy" my hips looked. So it really comes down to him adjusting to the new you.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    He'll like you best when you're happiest with your body. Some people think that if you drop X amount of weight or get down to X number, you'll magically lose every curve. So much has to do with genetics. You should show him some pictures on MyBodyGallery.com of women with your goal weight. He will see plenty of women with curves at 5'4 140 lbs.

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