Do you ever feel forced to have a cheat day?

Losingthedamnweight

I'm feeling like that and it probably sounds so ridiculous to anybody else, but I'm taking a road trip to visit my mom in June and I almost feel obligated to go out and eat like a pig for a lot of reasons.

One being since we are all going (me, my girlfriend and daughter) and we never go on trips, I feel like we are supposed to have a fun care free time and do fun things like....eating at every new restaurant we come across. Ordering pizza in the motel. Getting some delicious calorie dense breakfast every morning.

I also feel that obligation on my moms behalf because I never visit her and it seems like we need to cram all this fun stuff into two days to make it memorable.

I know it's only 2 days...but part of me doesn't want to stray from my calorie budget at all. Part of me is tempted of coarse, but a bigger part of me feels like this is one of those excuses I make to screw up and binge.

Am I crazy or what?!

HerkMeOff

You're crazy.

Enjoy it.

deksgrl

Sounds like more than a cheat day. But.... diet breaks can be beneficial. So go eat all the foodz.

janiceclark08

Why not save some calories before and after trip to compensate,like for the weekly totals. That way you wont be feeling so guilty about over eating and going off track.

fchammer1

Think POTLUCK and many, many dishes of food for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, St. Paddy's Day, my birthday, the car club spring picnic,and Easter! Did I go over my allotted allowance of food? Of course, I did; and I know by exactly how many calories because the trick for me was to take only 1/2 cup of each attractive food item and record each. Then, I worked on taking those calories off during the next three days because weight loss is an ongoing process. We're looking for that overall downward trend.

So you're visiting your mom. Good for you. Enjoy the visit and the food. Knock those extra calories off during the following week. I know you can do it! (and get a new picture.)

onefortyone

I totally understand this pressure. My husband's family celebrates/mourns everything with food, PILES of food, like a whole 10lb bag of potatoes for a dinner that only 3 people come to lol. And you get called a picky eater, or eats like a bird, etc. if you don't pig out, or you're made to feel like you're wasting food. And when you're on the road, it's hard to resist, especially if the breakfast is buffet style and the cost is included with the room.

My advice is, stay strong as much as you can. You can order a pizza, thin crust, topped with veggies, and have a couple of slices. You can go to the gas station down the road for some fruit, yogurts and lots of water. You can log everything at breakfast and pig out enough to skip lunch. You can walk around loads and see the sights. Eat at maintenance instead of a deficit if that helps give you more wiggle room. Think of it as a test - when you're at your goal weight and maintaining, you won't want to be avoiding family fun, but what constitutes family fun might need to change for the better - a family that stays active and eats well!

Then again, I sure can talk the talk, but I probably could not walk the walk. Like you said, it's tempting to just let it go, but you know deep down inside that's not what you want.

Jenni129

It's not until June.... so by then you can probably afford 2 days of cheating. Might as well have fun!

NH_Norma

It does feel a bit like an excuse to binge and get all off track for a longer period of time, and will include guilt. Can you meet yourself 1/2 way and enjoy new places, have fun, but make better choices than the old days and stop eating when you are satisfied, even if it means throwing out food? Please don't think I'm judging...this is my own voice of experience speaking. As I read your post, I was hit with all kinds of feelings that I could see myself going through if I did that...guilty, hopeless, overwhelmed...you name it. Enjoy your trip however you handle the food!

Jestinia

If you do it, the trick is to end it the minute you get back home. No excuses, no backsliding. That's always the hard part, for me anyway.

ibBrad

You've got to listen to your own feelings and do what is right for you not what you think others expect of you.

HerkMeOff

It does feel a bit like an excuse to binge and get all off track for a longer period of time, and will include guilt. Can you meet yourself 1/2 way and enjoy new places, have fun, but make better choices than the old days and stop eating when you are satisfied, even if it means throwing out food? Please don't think I'm judging...this is my own voice of experience speaking. As I read your post, I was hit with all kinds of feelings that I could see myself going through if I did that...guilty, hopeless, overwhelmed...you name it. Enjoy your trip however you handle the food!

If you're feeling guilty about eating while on vacation...or anytime for that mater, you don't have a healthy relationship with food.

kjo9692

It's 2 days, you'll be fine! But yes you need to review your feelings about this. It shouldn't make you feel terrible if you just go and have fun. So you go and have fun! No one is judging you. Just try to have certain limits like stop eating when you are already full, eat slowly so you know when you are full, etc. But have fun, enjoy, and eat what you want. Maybe you can make it a goal to instead of eating at a calorie deficit focus on eating closer to your TDEE (but not over) so you still have more room for more food, drinks, desserts, etc.

Have fun!

MyMalfunction7

I'm having a similar problem! My birthday is in two or three weeks, and everyone wants to take me out to high calorie meals and get drinks. It sounds fun, and it's what I feel like I should do, but I don't necessarily want to lose track of my calories. I think it might be good just to take a day off, but there is a weird sort of MFP guilt that I feel even when I think about it. So, I definitely feel your pain!

jennifer_417

I get how you're feeling. One of the things I had to overcome with weight loss is putting my own priorities over other people's expectations...esp. my family.

Now having said that...if you want to splurge...meh, just get back to it when you get home. If you don't want to splurge, don't. It's all up to you.

adorable_aly

I don't know what it's like for you... But I only get to see my parents every couple of months. Every moment is precious with them, I don't waste my time thinking about going over calories, I just enjoy it, create fabulous memories and get back to it when I get home.

evangelene12

I would just have fun and eat (not just because it's there, but because you like it and want some) and create memories. Years from now what will matter are the memories of these visits and the fun you had. Not the obsession over the calories. Just get back on the program once you are back.

jenilla1

It's just two days, so if it happens, I think you'll be OK. If you don't want to stray too far, just adjust your calories up to maintenance for the time. You'll maybe have a slight slow down in your weight loss, but you certainly shouldn't gain much more than water weight that will easily come off again when you resume your normal deficit, even if you've eaten surplus calories. Enjoy your vacation! :drinker:

kdeaux1959

Hey, don't worry too much about it. If you are engaged in a lifestyle change rather than a temporary diet, you need to make sure that what you are doing includes the life obstacles that come your way. What I mean is... Enjoy these two days. Be mindful of what you are eating but don't go overboard to try to meet your goals these couple of days... If your budget is 2000 kCal then 3000 is ok. Try not to eat the house but if you want a piece or two of pizza, go for it. Yes your weight will increase and probably by 5-7 lbs... Don't let that discourage you... Most of it will go away. That which don't you can take care of later. Balance in all things

Mistraal1981

I'm having a similar problem! My birthday is in two or three weeks, and everyone wants to take me out to high calorie meals and get drinks. It sounds fun, and it's what I feel like I should do, but I don't necessarily want to lose track of my calories. I think it might be good just to take a day off, but there is a weird sort of MFP guilt that I feel even when I think about it. So, I definitely feel your pain!

I have totally got a great way to change what I do for my birthday. Instead of going for drinks I suggest we doing something more energetic, fun, new like rock climbing or paintball. For the older parent types I suggest we go for a spa thing.

Mistraal1981

OP, maybe again along similar lines, up the exercise while your away. Hiking etc.

crissi725

Maybe just have one of those days as a free-for-all since we should all enjoy food with family and in new places. Take some pressure off yourself for ONE DAY. And then just be up front with your family and tell them that you gotta stay on top of your goals. Nothing wrong with that. :-)

bomftdrum

Just enjoy the time with your family. They won't always be there. Two days is not going to kill you. When you go out to eat, look for a food item that seems like it would be the lower calorie option. If the place has baked chicken, then go that route, etc. Bottom line is don't miss out on a couple of days of good times and memories with the family stressing out over your calories. Just get back on track after.

martyqueen52

I don't know about a "cheat day", but definitely allow yourself a treat or two.

This Saturday for example, my wife and I are driving a few hours away to go shopping for the whole day. There's a few pastry shops in this area that make cookies I can not get at home, nor can my wife or I make, lol. So, I plan on buying a good amount of these cookies and eating them on the ride home. However, the rest of the day I plan on staying with my typical food intake.

If you want to have a cheat day, go for it, but you might set yourself back a good amount. A treat or two won't hurt anything. Just remember dude.... a salad won't make you skinny, nor will one McDonald's burger make you fat.

aimladuke

I find I often hit a "new low" 2-3 days after splurging a little. I obviously don't let it happen often (just special occasions like holidays) but it is a good reset for my mind/ body, Relax, enjoy, have fun with your family. Remember you are not going to gain a pound of fat in 2 days.

rockmama72

You could always make a deal with yourself--eat, but don't gorge. Practice eating proper portions of everything. Don't eat anything just because it's there (my mom makes a few things that are just so-so) and just eat your favorites. Eat lighter meals when it doesn't count as much.

This is the sort of real-life situation that we ALL need to learn to navigate if we are going to be successful long-term.

Also, when my extended family gets together we try to do active things--bowling, roller skating, walks to the park, etc.

wilsoje74

Food does not have to equal or even be associated with fun or memories. Make memories that don't involve food.

lemurcat12

Like others said, it's not 'til June, and your feelings may change before then or you may be needing a brief break, so I wouldn't worry about it now. What's important to keep in mind is that it's not all or nothing. You can accept that you won't have the control over the precise foods and calorie counts that you do while at home (that's what I'm getting from not wanting to deviate at all) without that meaning you just go nuts.

I would try to work on the fact that you feel like you have to eat more to show your family you are having fun. Most of what you mentioned really doesn't require pigging out, unless you want it to. For example, trying every new restaurant--if this is something you and your family likes (mine does, and so do I), do it, but that doesn't mean you can't try to pick healthier options or must eat until you are stuffed or have a giant dessert or the like. I'm also not saying you can't if you genuinely want to, but there are ways to enjoy these kinds of activities without feeling like you have to go off the rails. Similarly, pizza is fine, some kinds are lower cal than others (thin crust, for example), there's a difference between eating a couple of pieces and just eating until it stops tasting good. Breakfast, really, that's up to you. If you prefer to be more moderate in your choices and not go for the highest cal options, that really shouldn't affect anyone else's enjoyment. It's not like your mom is cooking for you!

I'm not saying you are doing this necessarily, but I know sometimes I start thinking that I have to do something for social reasons (my friend wants to order dessert, so I really have to go along too, or she wants to split fries, so I have to agree) that I really don't have to, but it's kind of a way of justifying to myself something I probably just want to do. What I don't like about this is that I tend to be less satisfied after this kind of eating than when I just say to myself "I really want fries tonight, one order can fit in my plan and I will log it." So try to realize that you really don't have to pig out if you don't want, but it's okay to have a break for a couple of days and not worry about food over a vacation trip.

JLWright73

I had a similar situation last month when my family went on vacation. My kids were on Spring Break and it is the only vacation time we have all year and we go to Alabama for some sun and beach time. I decided when we left I was not going to worry about what I ate while on vacation. I ate tons of seafood and treated myself to some desserts and only worked out one time the whole week. When we got back I was afraid to step on the scale but was shocked to see I'd actually lost two pounds! I think that the relaxation and lowering of my cortisol probably compensated a bit for the indulgence.

I guess it breaks down to your relationship with food. I gave myself leeway to indulge, but I am not an emotional eater and do not have an unhealthy relationship with food. I just tend to misjudge portions resulting in a little extra weight. If you have an unhealthy relationship with food that has resulted in excessive weight gain then it is probably not a good idea to fall off the wagon completely for that time. If you are someone that is disciplined and able to immediately go back to managing your diet than I don't think a couple days of treating yourself are going to be detrimental to your goals.

kandell

My boyfriend and I went to Kansas City for our anniversary this year (didn't have enough time off for a real vacation). The first day, we ate McDonald's on the way down, and had a massive bbq dinner. Then we had lunch at the T-Rex cafe (huge portions, I couldn't even finish my food), and dinner at a Thai place. Then on the way back, Burger King for lunch, and Easter dinner with his family. I sure didn't lose weight, but all the "weight" I thought I'd gained was gone by the Tuesday right after.

Don't worry about one bad weekend, or even one bad week. You can always get back on the horse :]

NH_Norma

It does feel a bit like an excuse to binge and get all off track for a longer period of time, and will include guilt. Can you meet yourself 1/2 way and enjoy new places, have fun, but make better choices than the old days and stop eating when you are satisfied, even if it means throwing out food? Please don't think I'm judging...this is my own voice of experience speaking. As I read your post, I was hit with all kinds of feelings that I could see myself going through if I did that...guilty, hopeless, overwhelmed...you name it. Enjoy your trip however you handle the food!

If you're feeling guilty about eating while on vacation...or anytime for that mater, you don't have a healthy relationship with food.

I'm not sure how you intended this reply, but I'm a bit offended because this sounds a bit condescending. If I had a healthy relationship with food all along, I wouldn't have gotten to be 100 pounds overweight! I'm a work in progress, as are most of us here. My answer was to the question of feeling FORCED to have a cheat day. If I felt FORCED, I would feel guilty, etc, but that goes much deeper than food. You notice I had alternatives that did not include guilt, because I'm learning to make choices that work for me, not just for everyone around me.

dopeysmelly

I'm going to go against the grain here.

I don't really think there are "cheat" days. Who are you cheating? This is for you, right? Or your family/kids through you? So, you're cheating yourself or them? How does that work?

I have days when I don't log everything because it would take me too long to figure out what I've consumed, but even then, I don't gorge myself. That's one of the habits that I've worked so hard to leave behind (and boy, was it hard and took a lot of tea), and I don't want to go back to that place. I do eat what I want. I go out for meals, I eat breakfast out, I drink sidecars at my favorite restaurant, but I don't do it with complete abandon, because I can't or I'll pile on the pounds again, and I don't want the emotional weight of dealing with guilt either.

Also, I would say that you are going to shrink as you lose weight, and, trust me, your family will notice and comment. So, they're going to find out anyway, so why "hide" what you're doing to lose it? You'll get comments - some positive, some negative maybe. Learning to deal with that now might make it easier next time.

I completely understand the whole "food as celebration" thing, but just because your family has always done it, doesn't mean it always has to be that way. Why not use this trip as a way of changing how you celebrate as a family? Maybe, take one photo with everyone in it doing something goofy, and do that for every celebration. That could be cool to look back on as the kids grow up.

You've got a while to plan your strategy, which is great. Good luck!