Concerned about future pregnancy - is it vanity?

jennk5309

First off, let me say that your concerns are valid and do NOT mean that you are vain. I am pregnant with my third and I HATE what pregnancy has done to my body. I don't just mean the stretch marks and the jiggly skin - I mean the feeling that I have little control over my body. I am sick, tired, and terrified of gaining too much weight after having lost over 100 pounds. Am I still happy that I'm having a baby? Absolutely! I wouldn't trade that for the world.

I just plan on getting a tummy tuck and maybe a boob job once done nursing this one, since she will be my last. Some people may think that's vain, but my abdomen is so disfigured from having a big baby that I think they would understand if they actually saw it why I need it in order to improve my confidence level. I think I deserve it, too, after having worked hard to lose weight. Moms deserve to be happy!

So I say, lose weight after you have your babies and then get surgery if you need /want it. And you CAN lose weight afterward. It's hard, but doable by 99.9% of us no matter what our genes say. And I gots me some obese genes, lol.

BinaryPulsar

It's ok to wait to have kids. It's ok not to have kids, even for vanity reasons.

But, pregnancy can have minimal impact on your body.

The younger you are the more resilient you will be.

But, if you wait you will be mentally/emotionally ready for changes.

There will be some changes. The same is true even if you don't have kids.

I shared my story on the first page. That was true for me, even though I also had to be on bedrest at times. I also had vomiting the whole 9 months, all day and night.

DeterminedFee201426

you should be worried > alot of stretch marks saggy skin and belly fat will be even harder to get rid of ! it comes from pregnacy even if you workout during it you will more likely get stretch marks and a bit of loose skin with pooch in your belly that may never go away only with a tummytuck

Springfield1970

I had my baby at 34, and he's now 9 years old! I even fit in his shoes now!

I put on ridiculous amounts of weight (about 70lb) enjoyed every moment and felt brilliant.

It wasn't easy losing the weight, but once I really put my mind to sorting out my comfort eating I was away!

I'm happier with my body now than any time in my whole life. I date guys in their 20s and more importantly feel empowered, and beautiful and strong.

GretaGirl8

I also wanted to add that I had a caesarean section. it was essentially elective--but there were issues that made that the right decision. I have never been "fit" but always been thin. my stomach looks pretty much the same. I didn't get stretch marks. I used a product called BioOil on my tummy (not sure if that helped or not but it is a wonderful moisturizer if nothing else). I did end up with a slight diastasis recti (separation of abdominal muscles). apparently, this is a very common condition as a result of pregnancy. it can range from minor to severe. there are exercises that can dramatically help (though I have yet to seriously seek them out as my condition is mild). I notice a little "saggy" skin when I bend over and look in the mirror which likely was a result of the pregnanancy--or perhaps, age. but it is also quite minor. I was in my mid-thirties upon delivery.

note: someone mentioned that your abdominal muscles are cut during a C-section. I am not saying that never happens, but the standard procedure is to separate the abdominal muscles for the purposes of delivery. the muscles are re-aligned upon closure. I know that you didn't ask about C-sections, but it is something many people have had bad experiences with. my experience was positive--perhaps largely due to the fact my C-section was planned (so I was mentally prepared) and not done under less than ideal medical circumstances (rushed due to an emergency situation).

as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I didn't gain significantly during pregnancy--but my obgyn said everything was perfectly fine and that some women do not gain much weight--but all measurements were on track at each visit. I purchased only about 4 maternity items total. for the most part, I wore my regular sized dresses that had some stretch to accommodate my baby belly. I wore my regular jeans and used a hair binder to extend the button.

pregnancy and motherhood have been truly wonderful experiences for me--body and mind.

MelonJMusic

you should be worried > alot of stretch marks saggy skin and belly fat will be even harder to get rid of ! it comes from pregnacy even if you workout during it you will more likely get stretch marks and a bit of loose skin with pooch in your belly that may never go away only with a tummytuck

WRONG. Its all in the genetics. Just because it happened to one woman doesnt mean it will happen to another. There are women whose skin is resilient and recover without a stretch mark or sag. Don't contribute unless youve done the research, your sky-is-falling response was absolutely ridiculous.

GretaGirl8

you should be worried > alot of stretch marks saggy skin and belly fat will be even harder to get rid of ! it comes from pregnacy even if you workout during it you will more likely get stretch marks and a bit of loose skin with pooch in your belly that may never go away only with a tummytuck

WRONG. Its all in the genetics. Just because it happened to one woman doesnt mean it will happen to another. There are women whose skin is resilient and recover without a stretch mark or sag. Don't contribute unless youve done the research, your sky-is-falling response was absolutely ridiculous.

true, I was basically all belly--having a very petite build--and have 0 stretch marks.

monicapatituccijones

I had my baby at 34 and didn't get a single stretch mark, despite a 40-pound weight gain. Genetics don't play fair.

ElzbietaS

I was worried about that too before I got pregnant. However, I exercised throughout, ate well (other than the first few months of constant morning-sickness), and did not gain much throughout the pregnancy. Despite my mom and sis both getting stretch marks, I got zero. So it is kind of a crap-shoot. However, I've seen ladies who are very fit and have stretch marks, and they look awesome!

I dropped all the pounds within two weeks of my little one being born, and my chest grew permanently (good for me since I was a "modest" size before). So not all post-pregnancy changes have to be bad! I since got lazy and gained, but it is coming off once more with some determined effort.

Basically, what you are feeling is totally normal. Nobody knows how their body will change until they go through it. Just look after yourself, keep as active as you can, and try and eat healthy. Once the baby arrives, make sure your partner understands that you need time to look after yourself. Getting back to exercising may be an important step in feeling "normal" again after all the chaos that is having a newborn!

DeterminedFee201426

you should be worried > alot of stretch marks saggy skin and belly fat will be even harder to get rid of ! it comes from pregnacy even if you workout during it you will more likely get stretch marks and a bit of loose skin with pooch in your belly that may never go away only with a tummytuck

WRONG. Its all in the genetics. Just because it happened to one woman doesnt mean it will happen to another. There are women whose skin is resilient and recover without a stretch mark or sag. Don't contribute unless youve done the research, your sky-is-falling response was absolutely ridiculous.

wheres your research show me ?? if you dont have it then i advise you to not speak on what i say ..you lack so dont contribute to my comment ty

gemmamummy

Hi there. Its natural to worry about your body image! I had my son 2.5 years ago. My mum has a stomach full of angry blue stretch marks from having me and my brother.I had them during pregnancy and used a load of bio oil and they have faded. Unfortunately I have a sack of skin under my tummy which will never go. I blame the fact I married and a baby with a huge beast of a man and had a big baby. I put on 40lb with my son, but I feel I'm in the best shape of my life. I did bugg@r all exercise throughout my pregnancy and ate nothing but rubbish. It is possible to look hot after pregnacy. But be prepared that your boobs may droop a bit, you could have some loose skin, but I'd love to meet a woman whose body looked exactly the same after having a baby!

gemma1675

I didn't get stretch marks during pregnancy but I did get them from losing a load of weight ten years ago.....

Pascal56

It's ok to be concerned, but don't let it stop you! I had my third baby 2 months ago. This was the only pregnancy where I concerned myself with eating well and working out, and I gained 26 pounds (I gained 35-40 with the other two). Now I am 5 pounds above prepregnancy weight, and want to lose about 30 more beyond that. You CAN lose the weight, so please don't worry about it. I did, with both of my older kids and am so close now. That said, there will likely be some permanent changes in your body. In my case, I got some more stretch marks, a slightly larger shoe size, and more tendency to carry weight in my stomach, although my thighs and butt still take the cake in that department (yay).

As for working out, talk to your doctor, but basically you should be able to do anything you did before, as long as it isn't high risk or high impact. I worked out on the cardio machines and did Zumba at the gym all the way until 41 weeks, when I delivered. I lifted weights using the machines until about 37 weeks. I would have continued, but had a rib injury from a bad bout of bronchitis, so I had to stop due to pain. I returned to exercise after my six week checkup--only a few weeks ago.

nespinosa3

I'm in the same boat as you!! I've been super worried because now, without kids, the weight is coming off soooo slowly and my waist barely changes.
Pretty mcuh every mom here has said that it is way harder to lose it post-baby than it was pre-baby. Is that because of lack of time or your body just doesn't change that quick?? Because right now I barely lose any weight, so I wonder if I'll just stay fat after pregnancy.
But yeah generally, I think that if you eat healhty and remain active during the pregnancy, it should be easier to lose it afterwards.

onefortyone

I may be able to provide a different viewpoint here. I got pregnant, I went full term and gained 18lbs total. My daughter passed away at 38 weeks, and I had a c-section. She weighed 7lbs 3oz, and she was beautiful, perfect in every imaginable way.

The initial 18lbs dropped off quickly, but I gained 10 of it back because I ate terribly, couldn't sleep, and wouldn't exercise. But now I am devoted to being a better me, for myself, for my daughter, and to my future living children.

So, here I am, with a floppy tummy, stretchmarks, a c-section scar, and all the time in the world to exercise, eat smartly and sleep deeply. A terrible silver lining, right, but the weight is coming off. Now, what my body shape (especially my tummy shape) will look like in the future is a mystery, but after just 2 weeks of running, my excessively, embarrassingly jiggly tummy has gotten better. It still moves, but it's less of a Jello jiggle and more of a thick custard wobble. That's progress.

So, from my own experience (I know every woman is different), I do believe that if you make time to lose the weight, you will lose the weight. I know I am capable now. And I do believe that when I have living children, my body will be capable of bouncing back again, especially if I go into the pregnancy at a healthier weight. I don't believe fat-cells become stickier after you've given birth.

Dallymomma

I had my first baby in December and am working on getting the weight off. I gained 54lbs (doc recommended 25-35) and have lost 19lbs of it since then.
Diet: you need 500 cals more while pregnant. Protein and fat are very important for baby's brain growth. 500 cals more is in no way "eating for two people," it's eating for you and an infant that, at birth, will probably weigh around 7-8lbs. Yes you'll put on weight, just don't allow yourself to pig out (like I did), drink a lot of water even though you have to pee every 30 mins lol, take prenatals religiously (I also took fish oil to make sure I was getting enough omegas for healthy brain development since I didn't eat very much fish then). Overall, be smart about how you eat.
Exercise: my doctor told me I could safely continue with anything I was doing exercise wise before getting pregnant, just don't increase and be mindful of what your body is telling you. If you hurt, have a harder time catching your breathe..ect, ease up. That said, I was pretty active, and at about 6 months along moved to a different house. Moving put way too much stress on my body because I tried to do it all myself (like I'm used to doing) and I got diagnosed with pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure, swelling.. BAD for baby.. we discussed inducing early if my blood pressure got any worse). That only made me gain more weight and then I had to take it really easy- lay with my feet above my head for 4hrs a day, couldn't do hardly anything, although I did take short 10-20min walks almost everyday which was allowed. Overall, listen to your body and yes, you'll probably have to ease up a bit towards the end.
Stretch marks: Supposedly they're hereditary, although there are ways to lessen them. Drink a lot of water so that you're never dehydrated, use moisturizer everywhere (arms, boobs, belly, butt, thighs, back of knees) at least twice a day and especially right after you get out of the shower... moisturizers that worked best for me were Bio-oil (specifically for stretch marks and helped afterwards too since I didn't really have any until after I gave birth), coconut oil, shea or cocoa nut butter/cream. I personally do not like palmer's stretch mark cocoa lotion since it smells really chemically.

If you do happen to gain a lot, like I did, you can work it off. Remember it takes 40 weeks of growing to gain the weight so allow yourself some slack and realize that 40 weeks to get it off is reasonable.

Good luck on your pregnancy Add me if you'd like.

GretaGirl8

@oneforthyone...thank you for sharing your story; i am so sorry for your loss. you seem very determined to get your mind and body strong and healthy. I am inspired. my mother lost her first baby (a girl) at full-term. she was struggling during labor, and the doctors didn't do a c-section soon enough. she went on to have three girls.

changing topics...

also, i see a few shout outs for BioOil. I do think the product is helpful in the overall health and integrity of the skin. i have used it after pregnancy as well...and i use it on my son's dry skin.